r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

You left out the best one

"He isnt immautre like some of the people here think, he is hardened person and like I said he removes people from his life without second thought. I dont know why is he like this but its who he is. He probably went through a lot in the past but he never talked about it with me. I never pushed the issue. If he has a problem he will close himself off. He never speaks about it, he sorts it out himself. He isnt a loner, he just doesnt talk much and sticks to himself most of the time. That is why he comes as cold and distant person. He is really difficult to read."

He's not an immature loner, he just never talks about his feelings, shuts down completely when he feels slighted and has no real friends. But in a mature way.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 08:08

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:50

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

yeah sorry i got sick of reading it

# ? Jan 5, 2024 08:40

DoNotFeedTheBear: Sep 13, 2007

That very much reads like a power fantasy.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 09:07

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

From r/relationships, a bit of a weird one:

quote:

I 28M sent my girlfriend 27F flowers anonymously.

I sent my girlfriend a box of flowers anonymously the day after christmas. don�t really know what prompted me to do this but i definitely didn�t get the reaction i was expecting. for context im 28m and she�s 27f. we�ve been dating on and off for about 5 years but we got serious in 2022, became stable, exclusive, and started talking about moving in together in the near future. 2023 was pretty rough for both of us individually and financially but our relationship has been fine (or so i thought) up until now. Like i said in the beginning, i sent her a box of flowers from J�adore Les Fleurs (and if you know them, those flowers are not cheap) i did not put a note nor did i tell her that i was sending the flowers. the day they were delivered they called and said they would be delivering them to her place in an hour. i took it upon myself to pick up her favorite breakfast and go surprise her with that after the flowers were delivered. first red flag. when i was close to her apartment and started calling her to tell her that i was surprising her with breakfast and would be outside in a few minutes, she did not pick up the phone. she texted me and told me she was on the phone handling something and would call me back. after about 10-15 minutes of waiting (still no call back) i texted her and said that i had picked up breakfast for her and that i was outside and if she could just come down and get me. she read my message and didn�t respond for another few minutes before calling me back and saying she was coming down. she did not say anything about the flowers (even though i know they had been delivered and the delivery driver sent a picture of them in front of her door so i know it was at the right unit). she comes down and greets me with a hug and a kiss the usual and we went upstairs. the flowers were nowhere to be seen and she was mad jumpy. she kind of guided me to the couch and was really weird about me getting up and moving around her apartment. she kept asking me if i wanted anything, water or whatever and said that she would bring it to me. she doesn�t usually do this but that in itself is not so weird. what was weird to me was the fact that she was glued to her phone texting the whole time and she seemed a little upset. i didn�t say anything about the flowers. i told her i had just came by to drop off breakfast and that i had to go handle some things and would call her later. i got up and left and she let me leave without a second thought. few days passed by as normal and i still didn�t mention the flowers. last night on NYE we were at a party together and got a little drunk and in the middle of a conversation about something completely off topic, she stops mid sentence and says �by the way, did you send me flowers the other day?� i said yes. she said they didn�t have a note or anything and asked why i didn�t tell her. i told her it was on a whim and i had kind of forgot, and instantly our conversation was interrupted by the 30 seconds to midnight count down. the rest of the night was normal. today i went to her apt again and now the flowers are on her living room table in plain sight. i mentioned that i hadn�t seen them last time i was there and she claimed they hadn�t been delivered yet. i know for a fact that�s a lie. is she cheating on me?

At face value, things don't look so good for OP. On the other hand, if he wasn't already suspicious that she had something else going on, then it seems like he was just "testing" her with flowers and showing up immediately afterward and waiting for her to say something. Not a good look, especially letting her sweat it for days without a simple, "Hey, did you get the flowers I sent? It says they were delivered Saturday." But her reaction was weird enough that maybe he was right to wait to see if she ever mentioned them.

I've also gotten mystery flowers from out of the blue, repeatedly, and it freaked me out because I wasn't dating anyone at the time and had no idea who was buying me bouquets of red roses. No card, no name or number left at the florist. Eventually a dude I had a class with confessed and it totally skeeved me out. I didn't know him at all, yet he'd found my address and bombarded me with gifts before even an introduction. Many redditors in the comments saying the same thing, that they've gotten repeated anonymous flowers from stalkers, and that florists won't do anonymous deliveries anymore for that reason. It can feel very threatening.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 10:42

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Sagebrush is right that the guy is the weirdo creep who's the rear end in a top hat here, which makes it funnier that he's probably the author's Coldsteel the Boyfriend self-idealized OC.

cw in the spoiler of this one for encouraging suicide:

Several people in my life [29F] [32M] [33F] still refuse to forgive me [30M] for things I said during a mental breakdown three years ago. What do I do?

quote:

During the panda I basically spiraled out of control, and latent behavioral issues I had bubbled to the surface. I had a full on mental breakdown and burned bridges with close friends in the most fiery way possible.

I told a friend who�s a veteran he should�ve died overseas

I told a friend who had police for both parents that her parents are pigs and I hoped they both got shot.

I told someone nobody will miss them If they offed themselves and their existence makes the world a worse place

I told a friend she�s a worthless c*nt because she said she had trouble getting a mask on two year old child.

I knew all of these things were my friend�s worst fears and I intentionally said them in the most hurtful way possible because I was fully out of control and completely taken over by bitterness and isolation. My parents put me on a psych hold and I was diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder. I�ve been working on it for years, including medication.

A few years later, and I�m finally back to my mental health state pre panda. I reached out to those people with sincere apologies. I was either completely ignored, or told �it�s good you got help, but you are not welcome back in my life and I will not forgive you.� My parents told me my language could easily be considered verbal abuse so it�s no surprise they won�t forgive me. My questions are thus:

-I know I�m not owed forgiveness but what do I do? - Does this mean I�m always going to be a bad person no matter what I do? - Was all of this work I did for nothing then if nobody is going to forgive me? - How do I just live my life knowing some people will never ever want to associate with me again? - do I deserve to hate myself forever for this?

TL;DR I said horrible things to people while in the throes of mental illness and the people I hurt will never forgive me. How do I move on?

OP throwing himself a dramatic pity party over not being welcomed back with open arms is not doing much to persuade me that he's someone I'd want in my life.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 10:48

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Troublemaker posted:

From r/relationships, a bit of a weird one:

At face value, things don't look so good for OP. On the other hand, if he wasn't already suspicious that she had something else going on, then it seems like he was just "testing" her with flowers and showing up immediately afterward and waiting for her to say something. Not a good look, especially letting her sweat it for days without a simple, "Hey, did you get the flowers I sent? It says they were delivered Saturday." But her reaction was weird enough that maybe he was right to wait to see if she ever mentioned them.

I've also gotten mystery flowers from out of the blue, repeatedly, and it freaked me out because I wasn't dating anyone at the time and had no idea who was buying me bouquets of red roses. No card, no name or number left at the florist. Eventually a dude I had a class with confessed and it totally skeeved me out. I didn't know him at all, yet he'd found my address and bombarded me with gifts before even an introduction. Many redditors in the comments saying the same thing, that they've gotten repeated anonymous flowers from stalkers, and that florists won't do anonymous deliveries anymore for that reason. It can feel very threatening.

She could have easily thought he'd be suspicious if he saw them. Quite the cunning little trap he laid for both she and himself.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 11:06

Riven: Apr 22, 2002

Tarezax posted:

I have to assume theft of prosthetics is pretty rare because they're so tailored to a single person and probably aren't worth much as scrap even. Might not have needed any kind of time frame to connect the dots

edit: also if the idiot was planning a "heroic" returning of the leg he can't have been holding on to it for very long I think

Have we considered that the brother might be Rocket Raccoon?

# ? Jan 5, 2024 11:31

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Several people in my life [29F] [32M] [33F] still refuse to forgive me [30M] for things I said during a mental breakdown three years ago. What do I do?

OP throwing himself a dramatic pity party over not being welcomed back with open arms is not doing much to persuade me that he's someone I'd want in my life.

what's their username?

# ? Jan 5, 2024 12:11

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Making yourself the center of attention for people's reaction to previous attempts to make yourself the center of attention is pretty textbook HPD.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 13:29

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Hughlander posted:

My wife (36F) wants to divorce me (35M) to marry her ex (40M)

Do you want to get trafficked?!?! Because that's how you get trafficked!

I�m sorry but what? How does a woman choosing to go back to an ex in another country cause someone to come to a trafficked conclusion?

Also: can someone please explain why Midjourney is an automatic jump to �oh he�s totally making AI porn, too?�

Hughlander posted:

AITA for telling my husband to apologize for invading our daughter's privacy after he saw something he didn't like on her phone and took it away?

In the comments the story was for House of Dragons
"I just used her computer to text my mother, opened chrome, checked visited sites, guessed her password, went through the liked stories, read it enough to know the entire plot, it was a simple mistake!"

Wait until this concerned father finds out what kind of books get ~~popular~~marketed among the YA and New Adult set. Then again, I wonder what dad was reading around that same age?

vvv yeah I think we need some new ground rules on RPF in the 2024 thread iteration

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Jan 5, 2024

# ? Jan 5, 2024 13:31

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

Also: can someone please explain why Midjourney is an automatic jump to �oh he�s totally making AI porn, too?�

Goons really love to write fanfic about how things are actually worse than they already are

# ? Jan 5, 2024 13:35

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

vvv yeah I think we need some new ground rules on RPF in the 2024 thread iteration

RPF?

# ? Jan 5, 2024 13:46

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I’m sorry but what? How does a woman choosing to go back to an ex in another country cause someone to come to a trafficked conclusion?

Also: can someone please explain why Midjourney is an automatic jump to “oh he’s totally making AI porn, too?”

People see losers on Twitter posting AI porn women all the time and assume that's the main purpose of any AI image generation.

The purpose of most AI image generation is simple theft, however.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 13:55

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

RPF?

Rwandan Patriotic Front?

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:15

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

Real Post Format

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:24

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Lt. Danger posted:

Real Post Format

Is this like Rich Text Format or are we saying we need to verify the post is real before posting because that's not possible

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:30

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Andrast posted:

Goons really love to write fanfic about how things are actually worse than they already are

Oh so you are saying we should kill all goons? Is that considered normal now???!

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:32

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Is this like Rich Text Format or are we saying we need to verify the post is real before posting because that's not possible

I assumed it was a joke suggestion. Like if I said Rate Parrots Forever.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:42

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Okay, now I need to see this Parrot Rating system.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:42

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

^^^ okay this is way better

Sorry, �Real Person Fiction,� it�s a long-time category including on AO3. Usually it�s a self-insert and some pop sensation falling in love, or two hockey players, or actors or something. When it�s extent it�s uncomfortable at best, but by definition it�s nothing new. Dante�s Inferno is a great example.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:43

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Is this like Rich Text Format or are we saying we need to verify the post is real before posting because that's not possible

all posts are real posts. I would be very concerned if I was hallucinating imaginary posts

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:51

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

FMguru posted:

Long, but worth reading if only for your increasing astonishment at OP's obliviousness and her choosing at every step to dig the hole she is in even deeper.

I'd dig a hole through the center of the earth to get away from that miserable bastard.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:54

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I’m sorry but what? How does a woman choosing to go back to an ex in another country cause someone to come to a trafficked conclusion?

I don't think she's going to be trafficked necessarily, but the situation she's jumping in has a dynamic that's hosed from the start. If I was the op's friend I'd advise him to get as much as he wants out of the divorce and just stand back because I guarantee things aren't gonna go the way his wife wants

DrManiac fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Jan 5, 2024

# ? Jan 5, 2024 14:57

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Okay, now I need to see this Parrot Rating system.

All parrots have the same rating, which is Too Loud

# ? Jan 5, 2024 15:16

youknowthatoneguy: Mar 27, 2004; Mmm, boooofies!

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Sagebrush is right that the guy is the weirdo creep who's the rear end in a top hat here, which makes it funnier that he's probably the author's Coldsteel the Boyfriend self-idealized OC.

cw in the spoiler of this one for encouraging suicide:

Several people in my life [29F] [32M] [33F] still refuse to forgive me [30M] for things I said during a mental breakdown three years ago. What do I do?

OP throwing himself a dramatic pity party over not being welcomed back with open arms is not doing much to persuade me that he's someone I'd want in my life.

This person is the rear end in a top hat for continually calling COVID years "the panda".

# ? Jan 5, 2024 15:16

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

p-p-p-panda

# ? Jan 5, 2024 15:19

codswallop: Dec 26, 2012; BABIES EVERYWHERE!

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

Dante�s Inferno is a great example.

But �my mother sold me to One Direction� is the greatest of them all

# ? Jan 5, 2024 15:47

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

ilmucche posted:

what's their username?

Literally I was thinking, "which one of you is this?" as I read it.

And the answer is yes, you will have to accept that you will always be seen as a lovely person by these people because you were an immensely lovely person to them. People who think a simple apology resets anything drive me nuts.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:02

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Apologies are not inherently useless. If you are genuinely sorry, then it isn't meaningless to apologize.
But as I've said time and time again, it doesn't make what you said and did un-happen. You can ask for forgiveness but you are not owed it and must accept the possibility you will not receive it.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:10

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Hopefully he's bringing this up in therapy for them to tell him the same thing. It's unfortunate that some people like this or in recovery reach a moment where they need to accept that fact or then they turn anyone that doesn't forgive and forget into the actual villain.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:12

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

youknowthatoneguy posted:

This person is the rear end in a top hat for continually calling COVID years "the panda".

One of those things where they don't use the word for dumb reddit rule reasons and/or so they don't attract the cookers constantly searching any covid-related terms to descend upon the replies spewing hateful conspiracy nonsense about everything.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:44

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

You can still hate it for sounding dumb :glomp:

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:47

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

at one point AITA actually had a rule saying that you couldn't mention the single largest current event in the entire world, so some posters got in the habit of calling it the panda or the panini or whatever stupid bullshit

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:47

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

oof man idk why but the one where the guy's wife wants to go off and be her ex's second wife seems extra brutal to me

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:56

Zorak of Michigan: Jun 10, 2006

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Apologies are not inherently useless. If you are genuinely sorry, then it isn't meaningless to apologize.
But as I've said time and time again, it doesn't make what you said and did un-happen. You can ask for forgiveness but you are not owed it and must accept the possibility you will not receive it.

There's a level of forgiveness that means "I'm not holding a grudge and I'll stop telling people you're an rear end in a top hat every time your name comes up," but which still doesn't mean you want someone back in your life.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:57

Deified Data: Nov 3, 2015; Fun Shoe

Magic Hate Ball posted:

Wife (36F) ruined my (38M) staycation and I'm trying not to lose it.

I've never felt this suffocated by a reddit post, it's like a scene from mother!.

This seems to happen to every one of my weeks off, too - wife works with her dad and she's pretty much free to do anything when he's on a business trip or playing golf, which almost always seems to coincide with my time off. Unlike this guy's wife however, she loves me and doesn't smother me on purpose. Vacations and bathroom visits are the only time in my life I get to myself, so when you're looking forward to that all month only to find the main reason you took a vacation at all is null and void, it's like a cold bucket of water being dumped on your head lol

Ultimately though I try and take responsibility for my own mental health and try to be proactive about finding opportunities for solitude.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 16:59

Cerekk: Sep 24, 2004; Oh my god, JC!

AKA Pseudonym posted:

She could have easily thought he'd be suspicious if he saw them. Quite the cunning little trap he laid for both she and himself.

If her first assumption was that the flowers were from someone other than her boyfriend, there's already something shady going on.

If she thinks her boyfriend would be suspicious of her for receiving flowers, there's also already something shady going on.

If you get surprise flowers from your significant other and you think it's anything other than a nice romantic gesture, you should probably break up.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 17:10

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

kdrudy posted:

Literally I was thinking, "which one of you is this?" as I read it.

And the answer is yes, you will have to accept that you will always be seen as a lovely person by these people because you were an immensely lovely person to them. People who think a simple apology resets anything drive me nuts.

Even worse, it re-traumatizes the person who was injured and only serves to lessen the lovely feelings of the person apologizing.

You were an rear end in a top hat. You got better, but you still were an rear end in a top hat and no amount of apologizing will make up for it. The next time you think about doing terrible things, you should remember how lovely you feel and how much those people you hurt still don't like you.

# ? Jan 5, 2024 17:11

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

tbf, the friend's parents who were cops deserved all the abuse they could get. :acab:

# ? Jan 5, 2024 17:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 16:50

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Ghost Leviathan posted:

One of those things where they don't use the word for dumb reddit rule reasons and/or so they don't attract the cookers constantly searching any covid-related terms to descend upon the replies spewing hateful conspiracy nonsense about everything.

The Event

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWSN5kaQ1oM

# ? Jan 5, 2024 17:59

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