GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

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Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Oh ok now I get it

# ? Jan 13, 2024 02:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 23:12

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

LvK posted:

he was posting pictures of his brother and his brother's family on his IG stories a few weeks ago, but that didn't feel in the spirit of the thread even if it was the only time he's mentioned family lately.

The multiple photos of his feet mixed in there, maybe, but gently caress preserving that.

Please keep it to Nathen himself. I know you did but I'm saying this as a general rule

His family isn't part of this whole poo poo show beyond maybe throwing him money for Egeez or ScottPilgrimEATS or whatever batshit new idea he comes up with next week

# ? Jan 13, 2024 03:59

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Please keep it to Nathen himself. I know you did but I'm saying this as a general rule

His family isn't part of this whole poo poo show beyond maybe throwing him money for Egeez or ScottPilgrimEATS or whatever batshit new idea he comes up with next week

If he finally gets around to marrying Garfield can we still mention garfield? I feel like there should be an exception for that in the sensible no bringing up family policy.

# ? Jan 13, 2024 04:05

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Well yeah that's a given because then it becomes GarfieldEATS co-

# ? Jan 13, 2024 04:47

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

He has upgraded from word file to excel sheet.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1746396171684250069

# ? Jan 14, 2024 07:43

UwUnabomber: Sep 9, 2012; Pubes dreaded out so hoes call me Chris Barnes. I don't wear a condom at the pig farm.

"Seen by Jim Davis"

# ? Jan 14, 2024 07:46

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

well if Jim Davis saw these recipes I'd be a fool to not buy in

# ? Jan 14, 2024 07:51

Dixville: Nov 4, 2008; I don't think!; Ham Wrangler

Jim Davis is the top of the triangle. Simple as.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 07:54

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

A read receipt from Jim Davis! Incredible!

# ? Jan 14, 2024 07:54

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

I think it possible he emailed the recipes to Davis, I'd put money on that email not being opened if the email was sent though.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 09:17

Busters: Jan 24, 2014

MassRafTer posted:

He has upgraded from word file to excel sheet.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1746396171684250069

Why is a recipe in an excel spreadsheet?

# ? Jan 14, 2024 12:39

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Busters posted:

Why is a recipe in an excel spreadsheet?

No it's obviously a photo taken in .raw format of a word document with excel sheets copied into it.

Not the worst way I've seen documents sent professionally. Somehow.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 12:52

LordArgh: Mar 17, 2009; Nap Ghost

nathen should put everything into a powerpoint like a professional

# ? Jan 14, 2024 13:39

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

God when Jim Davis dies, Nathen is going to be inconsolable. Then again, he�ll be able to make up all sorts of stories about what great friends they were with no chance of anyone contradicting him so

# ? Jan 14, 2024 14:20

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Frank Frank posted:

God when Jim Davis dies, Nathen is going to be inconsolable. Then again, he’ll be able to make up all sorts of stories about what great friends they were with no chance of anyone contradicting him so

He basically does that now. No one important is really paying attention to Nathen. My bet is that there are, at most, about three people of any consequence at corporate who know about or still remember Nathen, and none of them care.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 14:55

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Powerful Katrinka posted:

He basically does that now. No one important is really paying attention to Nathen. My bet is that there are, at most, about three people of any consequence at corporate who know about or still remember Nathen, and none of them care.

you mean theirs no Natefield movie secretly in the works? But there must be at least a sixth of half a dozen people clamoring for it!

# ? Jan 14, 2024 15:17

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

dr_rat posted:

you mean theirs no Natefield movie secretly in the works? But there must be at least a sixth of half a dozen people clamoring for it!

It's us, we're the target audience for Nathen.

For real, though, that's my working theory for why Nathen can ramble on and on all day about Garfield without consequence: no one cares.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 15:48

Big City Drinkin: Oct 9, 2007; A very good; Fallen Rib

I only accept recipes as .wav files

# ? Jan 14, 2024 15:53

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Frank Frank posted:

God when Jim Davis dies, Nathen is going to be inconsolable. Then again, he�ll be able to make up all sorts of stories about what great friends they were with no chance of anyone contradicting him so

they're best friends so i can only imagine Nathen will have quite the eulogy prepared to give at the funeral

# ? Jan 14, 2024 15:54

Hasturtium: May 19, 2020; And that year, for his birthday, he got six pink ping pong balls in a little pink backpack.

Mozi posted:

they're best friends so i can only imagine Nathen will have quite the eulogy prepared to give at the funeral

Nathen�s so hungry for validation from a father figure that he�s mistaken Jim�s �sure, I�ll be your buddy, pay me� business deal for an emotional connection. Jesus wept.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 16:06

Escape From Noise: Jul 27, 2004

Frank Frank posted:

#garfieldfeetpics

GarfieldFEETS

# ? Jan 14, 2024 17:28

Solomon Gumball: Jul 24, 2019

garfuccino.ogg

# ? Jan 14, 2024 18:06

the yeti: Mar 29, 2008; memento disco

Escape From Noise posted:

GarfieldFEETS

Buy that in a .club or .zone tld and sell it to nathen

# ? Jan 14, 2024 19:04

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

aren't there safety protocols for handling raw Word files in kitchens

# ? Jan 14, 2024 19:07

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

It's time to get sued.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1746603704906846610

# ? Jan 14, 2024 20:43

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

MassRafTer posted:

It's time to get sued.

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1746603704906846610

Working on a writeup now, hold on tight, Fanvestors

# ? Jan 14, 2024 21:01

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

An email from garfieldeatsapp @ gmail.com posted:

Dear Fanvestors,

We hope this email finds you well and hungry for something exciting! We thrilled to share something truly special with you our loyal superfans- the original recipes from the world's first GarfieldEATS restaurant, crafted by none other than our brilliant Chief Taster, Nathen Mazri and adored by Jim Davis.

As a token of appreciation for your unwavering support, we've attached the exclusive collection of these recipes. From the mouth-watering lasagnas that Garfield would approve of, to our unique pizzas, each recipe is a culinary adventure waiting to happen in your kitchen.

BONUS

But that's not all! As a bonus, Nathen also included the recipes for our famous Garficcino coffees. Now, you can enjoy the full GarfieldEATS experience right at home, any time you crave it.

KIND NOTICE
We kindly ask that you enjoy these recipes for personal use only and refrain from sharing them publicly. This is a way to honor and respect the hard work and creativity that went into developing them.

Encourage your friends and fellow Garfield fans to support this effort by purchasing their own copies, just as you have. This not only helps in preserving the exclusivity of the recipes but also supports the ongoing creativity and innovation in our kitchens. Share 1 recipe if you really wish, but preserve the cookbook and maybe enjoy making a cool book of Garfield fan art out of it or frame the recipes in the kitchen as decor. Now that's fun!

COPYRIGHTS �
Please be aware that any imagery or artwork of Garfield is not included in the recipe collection. The character of Garfield and associated artwork are copyrighted properties belonging to Nickelodeon. The use of such artwork requires proper licensing and permission from Nickelodeon. Do not reproduce or resell. The recipes only are the original works belonging to Entergage Inc.

Bon App�tit and Happy Cooking!

Warm regards,

GarfieldEATS
Social Media Team

He actually delivered the recipes in a reasonable timeframe on the day of, holy poo poo. He delivered two files - Final Garficcino Recipe-14oz-16oz.xlsx and FINAL RECIPE BOOK GE (TORONTO).docx.pdf

The Garficcino xls is an almost completely unformatted collection of ingredients, loosely grouped into what garficcino they make. No instructions or anything, I guess just mix all that poo poo up. Here it is, in its entirety:

I don't drink coffee much so I've got no clue how any of these actually sound, but most of them seem to just be regular rear end espresso. There also doesn't appear to be just a "base" Garficcino? Maybe that was the "Orange Bee" one? The original advertisement for Garficcinos listed them as Arabica coffee, which I don't see mentioned anywhere in the recipes so I guess that part's optional.

Anyway, let's get on to the main attraction, the recipes themselves! I will try my best to preserve the actual (inconsistent) formatting of the document. Any time you think I may have hosed up the formatting, I assure you that's how it is in the document.

This is the very first thing we see, which really is great considering the email says no Garfield iconography will be shown. Maybe cus it's the Garfield EATS logo? Whatever. Anyways, we start off strong with GARFIELD'S SECRET SAUCE!

quote:

SECRET SAUCE (1 tub/5 cans)

INGREDIENTS:

_White onions � 1.2 kg

_Garlic � 275g

Shallots � 475g

Basil � 50g

Tapenade � 1 kg

METHOD:
- Saut� white onions, shallots, garlic altogether and wait until it�s translucent, once done add the San
Marzano canned tomato puree and give it a good mix by stirring continuously for about 5 minutes.
Then add tapenade and salt as per taste.

Let this cook slowly on a medium flame for about 2-3 hours. Keep stirring it occasionally to prevent
sauce from burning. Once the moisture content is evaporated and the sauce is thick, add white truffle
oil and give it a good mix. This will give the final touch for the sauce.

Turn off the heat and give it a nice blender to get the Garfield Orange color for the final aroma. Add
finely chopped basil leaves and transfer this to the container and put the sauce in a fridge. This can be
used batch wise for pizza, lasagna etc.

* When stored properly in the fridge, this can last between 20- 30 days.

lmao that he didn't bother even trying to make portions for home cooking, and just left the restaurant-sized portions. Also a whole fuckin kilogram of tapenade seems like a lot "to taste" but maybe that just means "add a bit more or less"? Also lol that salt isn't listed in the ingredients despite being part of the recipe steps. Unclear portion sizing and incomplete ingredient lists is a running theme. Also, there are weird tab spaces before the first two ingredients, because why would Nathen take the time to fix basic formatting errors. I chose to represent these with underscores, since the forums are smart enough to remove white spaces.

I haven't personally had Tapenade so I can't really speculate on the taste of the sauce itself. But if you want to make your own, Nathen's got you covered:

quote:

TAPENADE (2 small containers)

INGREDIENTS:

Green olives � 2.3kg

Caper seeds � 270g

Olive oil � 150g

Minced garlic � 60g

METHOD:
- Put everything to the blender and wait until it become thick paste consistency. Store this in airtight
container in a fridge. This can be used in batches for the secret sauce.

*No expiration date.

Glad this will literally last forever.

The recipe for pesto sauce lists both 56oz and 168oz recipes. I think 56oz is plenty of pesto sauce so I'll skip over the 168oz ingredient list (which is exactly the same but with different measurements for each ingredient), but if you REALLY need to know I can post it later.

quote:

PESTO SAUCE (56oz 168oz)

[56oz]
INGREDIENTS:

Pine seeds � 70g

Garlic � 75g

Parmesan cheese (grated) � 150g

Fresh basil leaves � 800g

Olive oil � 450g

Salt to taste

METHOD:
- Firstly, clean and rinse fresh basil leaves and set aside.

Now, dry roast pine seeds on medium flame till it turns golden brown. Turn off the heat and let it cool
room temperature.

Take a blender and add all the ingredients together and wait until it become saucy consistency. Transfer
it into the airtight container and store it in a fridge.

*When 1 container stored properly in the fridge, this cause can last between 6-10 weeks. Only defrost
pesto container 1 at a time and put the rest in the freezer.

quote:

BARBEQUE SAUCE (2 small container)

INGREDIENTS:

Light brown sugar � 400g

Cayenne pepper � 10g

Balsamic vinegar � 200ml

White vinegar � 80ml

Worcestershire sauce � 200ml

Olive oil � 24ml

METHOD:
- Take mixing bowl, add like brown sugar, chilly powder, balsamic, white vinegar, Worcestershire sauce
and olive oil. Give it a good mix so that all the ingredients are blended.

To this BBQ sauce, add the secret sauce and mix well. This can be stored in chiller/fridge.

How much of the secret sauce do you add? IDK I guess just to taste?? Also no info about expiration, so presumably this also lasts forever!

quote:

BECHAMEL SAUCE

INGREDIENTS:

2% milk � 2L

Butter � 160g

Mozzarella cheese � 160g

Flour � 250g

METHOD:
- Take a heavy bottom saucepan, put it on a medium flame. Add unsalted butter to the pan and let it
melt. Now add the flour and saut� it with the butter until the flour and butter combines well, take care
not to burn it.

Add the milk to the saut�ed flour and mix simultaneously to avoid lumps. Cook this with continuous
stirring till mixture thickens, now add the mozzarella cheese, salt and continue to cook for few minutes.
The sauce thickens to form a fluffy white consistency.

* When stored properly in the fridge, this cause can last in 10-15 days.

And now, what I'm sure you've all been waiting for:

quote:

JOHN ARBUCKLE�S CLASSIC MARINARA SAUCE (1 small tub)

INGREDIENTS:

Alta Cucina canned tomato � 2 cans

Honey � 200g

Cayenne pepper � 10g

Shallots � 240g

Minced garlic � 160g

Dried oregano � 45g

Parmesan cheese � 200g

Fresh basil � 45g

Salt to taste

METHOD:
- Heat some olive in pan, add chopped garlic and shallots
- Fry till they become translucent
- Add the tomatoes and the rest of the ingredients except fresh chopped basil
- Adjust salt and oregano if needed per taste
- Let the sauce simmer till it becomes a little thicker in consistency
- Add fresh basil and finish the cooked sauce
- Blend it in low pulse

*When stored properly in the fridge, this can last between 14-20 days.

quote:

BOLOGNESE BEEF

INGREDIENTS:

Garlic � 190g

Shallots � 390g

Carrots � 230g

Red pepper � 300g

Green pepper � 300g

Minced beef - 2.2kg

METHOD:
- Take a pan, put it on a medium flame, put the beef and wait until it cooked. Make sure not to
overcook the beef. Set aside and remove the oil and water from it.

Take another pan, put it on a medium flame, add 10ml of beef oil and let it heat for few seconds, add
chopped onions and saut� it for 1 min. then add minced garlic, onion, red pepper, green pepper, and
carrots.

Simmer the mix with meat, veggies and sauce on a medium flame to incorporate the flavour in the
minced beef (Bolognese Style sauce)

Finally, add the fresh basil, oregano, salt and pepper. Mix it well.

*When properly storage in fridge, it last about 20-30 days.

quote:

BEEF STRIP MARINATION (BBQ STEAK PIZZA)

INGREDIENTS:

Beef strips � 5lbs/ 2.27kg

Olive oil � 40ml

Montreal Steak Spice � 40g

METHOD:
- Take a mixing bowl, add all the ingredients and give it a good mix. Cover the lid and leave it to
marinate overnight.

Pack 40g per portion plastic bag of beef and take out at least 5 plastic bags on the fridge. Keep the rest
in the freezer.

*When properly storage in the freezer, this can last until it finishes.

No, there is no recipe for what "Montreal Steak Spice" is - whether there's a specific brand used, or what ratio of different spices to use when making it. Also, "can last until it finishes"??? Does this mean it'll just last until you use it all? Last until it...goes bad??

quote:

CHICKEN MARINATION

INGREDIENTS:

5 pieces of chicken breast

Lemon � 40ml

Garlic powder � 30gm

METHOD:
- Cut the chicken into strips and take a mixing bowl, add all the ingredients and give it a good mix.
Cover the lid and leave it to marinate overnight.

Place the marinated chicken on a baking tray and bake it for 5 minutes.

Take out the required portions for pizza and place it on the topping area.

*When properly storage in the freezer, this can last 20 days.

Just throw a whole rear end lemon in with a chicken. Presumably it means lemon juice, but how can we know for sure?

quote:

CARAMELIZED ONIONS

INGREDIENTS:

Red onions � 750g

Garlic powder � 10g

White vinegar � 60g

Balsamic vinegar � 150g

Olive oil � 40g

White sugar � 300g

METHOD:
- Take a mixing bowl, add all the ingredients and give it a good mix. Cover the lid and leave it to
marinate overnight.

Now, place the marinated onions on a baking tray and bake it for 5 min.

Take out the required portions for pizza and place it on the topping area. Use it as a pizza topping as
and when required.

*When properly storage in the fridge, this can last until it finishes.

quote:

SAUTED MUSHROOM

INGREDIENTS:

Sliced mushroom � 950g

Garlic powder � 10g

Black pepper � 6g

White truffle oil � 8ml

Salt to taste

METHOD:
-Heat the pan on a medium flame and add olive oil addd sliced msuhrooom and saute until the
mushroom releases all the water content, then drain and set aside.

Heat the pan again in the medium flame, with the mushroom, add truffle oil, salt, black pepper, and
garlic powder. Give it a good mix and turn off the flame.

*When properly storage in the fridge, this can last until it finishes.

addd sliced msuhrooom and saute

quote:

SALAD DRESSING

INGREDIENTS:

Finely chopped shallots � 5g

Finely chopped garlic � 2g

Finely chopped redbell pepper � 1g

Lemon juice � 25g

Honey � 18g

Vinegar � 25g

Olive oil � 50g

Plum tomato � 1 g

METHOD: Add all the ingredients into a bowl and mix well to combine them together.

*When properly storage in the fridge, this can last until it finishes.

There's no other recipe for the salad itself, so presumably this is the salad + dressing? Which appears to just be...red bell peppers, shallots, and plum tomatoes?

:siren:

BIG COW LASAGNA :siren:

quote:

BIG COW LASAGNA

INGREDIENTS:

Bolognese

Mozarella Cheese

Cheddar Cheese

Bechamel Sauce

Secret Sauce

Ricotta Cheese

METHOD:
- Take the baking tray, clean and dry it.

Spread a thin layer of secret sauce. (this will prevent the pasta sheets from sticking to the tray)

Place the lasagna sheet over the tray with secret sauce, place a layer of bolognese and add a layer of
bechamel sauce. Add a layer of mozarella and cheddar cheese. On 2nd layer repeat the process and add
ricotta cheese. Only make 4 layers.

Finally, for the last layer, place a pasta sheet top it up with secret and bechamel sauce, add twice the
amount of cheese on the previous layers.

Set your oven to 300�c, place the lasagna tray in the oven and cook for 15 mins. till the top layer turn
golden brown color.

Once done, take it out from the oven and place it in the fridge until it cools down or let it cool down
overnight. Must be covered with cling film before living in the fridge.

*When properly storage in the fridge, this can last 20 days.

I find it funny that the lasagna recipe doesn't list lasagna pasta as an ingredient. Like, it's easy to assume it's needed, but it's great that it's not formatted in a way where you could like, take the recipe to the grocery store to use as a shopping list.

Next up is the pizza dough, which like the pesto sauce also lists several different size batches - 6kg, 8kg, and 10kg. Since I'm not sure anyone here really needs that much fuckin pizza dough, I'll just list the 6kg measurements. Again, ask if for some reason you want the others:

quote:

PIZZA DOUGH (6kg 8kg 10kg)

INGREDIENTS:

Water (room temperature) � 3.9 L

Yeast � 45g

Salt � 105g

Sugar � 90g

Oil � 12oz

Flour � 6kg

Dough measurements

Small � 10 of 100g (Codnote: I think this is supposed to be 5 of 100g? That's what the measurements for 8kg of dough lists, and it doesn't make any sense that less dough would make MORE small pizzas)

Medium � 8-10 of 400g

Large � 8 to 10 of 800g

METHOD:
METHOD:
- Mix everything in a separate bowl/pitcher except flour until the yeast is dissolve.

Place the flour into the dough mixer, add the liquid slowly while the mixer is on.

Once everything is combined, wait 20-30 mins until it�s done.

NOTE: The texture of the dough must not be dry or wet. It should have little bubbles when it cut/slice
to know that it is ready.

Remove the dough from the mixer, place it on the table top and make as a required portion and place it
in a container and give sufficient gap between two dough balls as the size of dough will fluff up.

Let it rest for 2-3 hrs. at room temparature and move it to the fridge.

*When properly storage in the fridge, this can last 4-5 days.

While I didn't list the 10kg version, the "Dough measurements" section for it is blank, I guess Nathen just never got around to finishing that part lmao.

As for the pizza "recipes" themselves, they're just a list of what toppings to put on them - which is something you easily could have figured out just from looking at a menu. Hope you already know how much sauce to put on a pizza, or how to cook one already!

For some reason Nathen decided to put the recipe for melting chocolate in between the regular pizza recipes and the thin crust recipes. Could I re-organize this to make for easier reading? Of course, but then we'd lose authorial intent!

quote:

MELTING CHOCOLATE

INGREDIENTS:

Lindt Dark Chocolate � 700g

Butter � 200g

METHOD:
- Boil half a pot of water and place the metal bowl in top of it.

Pour the chocolate and butter, wait until it melts to have right consistency.

Just melt chocolate with butter. Anyways, more pizzas!

quote:

METHOD:
- Same procedure making regular pizza.

Well I'm glad he included the Method section there, considering he didn't actually say the procedure for making regular pizza! Also he actually lists ingredient measurements here, which he didn't for regular pizzas, lmao

quote:

GARFIELD TAIL

INGREDIENTS:

Potato

Garlic powder to taste

Parmesan cheese to taste

METHOD:
- Insert the potato on the stick and fry it until it is golden brown and sprinkle garlic powder and
parmesan cheese.

NOTE: Garfield tails must be on the freezer.

This is maybe my favorite recipe, because it says nothing about how to actually prepare the potato - if you follow the instructions as listed, you just slap a whole-rear end unpeeled potato on a stick and "fry" it. For those of you in the know, the Garfield Tails are actually potato spirals:

No clue how to fry them either. Air fry? Deep fry? What oil should be used, and at what temperature? Figure it out yourself, I guess!

The final recipe is for PASTA PRODECURES

quote:

PASTA PROCEDURES

Spaghetti Bolognese

Water � 10ml

Bolognese

Secret sauce

-Take a pan, put it on a medium flame and add water, then add the pasta.

Add the Bolognese beef, 2 spoons for small and 4 spoons for big cow spaghetti. When the pasta is soft
enough, add 1 scoop of secret sauce for small and 2 scoops for big. When it is mixed altogether, put the
pasta in the spaghetti box and add parmesan cheese.

Spaghetti Pesto

Pesto sauce � 1 � spoon/ 3 spoons

Broccoli � 10g/20g

Carrots � 10g/20g

Mushroom � 1 spoon/2 spoons

- Take a pan, put it on a medium flame and add olive oil, fry broccoli, carrots and mushroom. Then add
the pesto sauce along with the pasta. When everything is mixed and the pasta is soft enough, take out
the spaghetti, put it in the box and add parmesan cheese.

And there you have it, the GarfieldEATS master list. Honestly most of the recipes seem fine at a glance? But I'm not a great chef so there's probably some funny poo poo hidden in there that's going over my head. The thing that surprised me most was the lack of recipe preambles - Nathen loves hearing himself talk, and I really expected there to be a paragraph or two for each recipe of him just talking about how great he and his recipes are. But I guess that requires :effort:

so instead we get nothing.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 22:18

Big City Drinkin: Oct 9, 2007; A very good; Fallen Rib

Lots to take in here, but was �garnivore� something we knew about before?

Edit: ok still processing but I have some things to write about the pizzas

Roy�s chicken: so apparently in the Garfield universe there�s a chicken named Roy. Is his own cooked flesh on the pizza or does he supply meat from others of his species to go on the pizza?

The Jim Davis: a pizza named after an elderly cartoonist that has just pepperoni and pineapple??

Big City Drinkin fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Jan 14, 2024

# ? Jan 14, 2024 22:30

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

I'm sorry, I'm stuck already at that Garfaccino list.

None of the measures for the 16 oz versions add up with 500 ml milk as the basis.

Fresh milk, not steamed milk? What?

300 ml water per a shot of espresso in the Americano? Jesus Christ :barf:

# ? Jan 14, 2024 22:41

Glimpse: Jun 5, 2011

Truffle oil? San Marzano tomato pur�e? Didn�t know GarfieldEats was so gastro.

It doesn�t actually have the tomato pur�e in the ingredients or say how much to use, just �add the San Marzano canned tomato puree and give it a good mix� cool thanks Nathen!

# ? Jan 14, 2024 22:51

cynic: Jan 19, 2004

That's some basic-rear end recipes. I cook a lot but am in no way a professional, and there's not a thing on there I couldn't throw together from memory and eyeballing amounts. Except those coffees. I have loving standards.

# ? Jan 14, 2024 23:09

Nikumatic: Feb 13, 2012; a fantastic machine made of meat

# ? Jan 14, 2024 23:20

Charles Ford: Nov 27, 2004; The Earth is a farm. We are someone else’s Ford Focus.

For those of us who never got the taste for coffee and so can't recognise the issue, could an aficionado explain the horrors?

# ? Jan 14, 2024 23:31

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

CodfishCartographer posted:

Working on a writeup now, hold on tight, Fanvestors

lol you gave Nathen money

# ? Jan 14, 2024 23:54

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

quote:

crafted by none other than our brilliant Chief Taster, Nathen Mazri and adored by Jim Davis.

Bullshit and bullshit. That�s as far as I made it without saying �bullshit� outloud.

quote:

But that's not all! As a bonus, Nathen also included the recipes for our famous Garficcino coffees. Now, you can enjoy the full GarfieldEATS experience right at home, any time you crave

What? How the gently caress is that a �bonus�? He specifically mentioned Garfuccinos in his initial pitch and it was part of the menu.

quote:

KIND NOTICE
We kindly ask that you enjoy these recipes for personal use only and refrain from sharing them publicly. This is a way to honor and respect the hard work and creativity that went into developing them.

gently caress off Nathen.

quote:

Do not reproduce or resell. The recipes only are the original works belonging to Entergage Inc.

Bitchass GameFAQs disclaimer. Also genuine lmao that he named his company �Entertage Inc)

Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Jan 15, 2024

# ? Jan 14, 2024 23:57

Zefiel: Sep 14, 2007; You can do whatever you want in life.

Frank Frank posted:

lol you gave Nathen money

Pretty spicy coming from the guy who tried to buy a frozen lasagna despite being in a whole other country :colbert:

# ? Jan 15, 2024 00:05

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

Orange juice and espresso :barf:

# ? Jan 15, 2024 00:05

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Ok the wife has agreed for make Garfield lasagna but I�m not really clear what the recipe is. Is the tapenade part of the lasagna or just an appetizer? Are there step-by-step instructions for JUST the lasagna and if not, since he already has your info -could you please ask him for directions? We could guess but I�d rather have the authentic GarfieldEATs experience

Zefiel posted:

Pretty spicy coming from the guy who tried to buy a frozen lasagna despite being in a whole other country

I�m still mad that he refused to ship it

E: my wife is also famous for her deep dish lasagna and is already wrinkling her nose and saying things like �honey in the marinara? Are you SURE about that?�

# ? Jan 15, 2024 00:07

Duckman2008: Jan 6, 2010; TFW you see Flyers goaltending.; Grimey Drawer

So I get restaurants have costs, but is it jus time or do most of these recipes have a lot of �it will last forever in the fridge� at the end of them? Like, sounds super fresh to use 20 day old sauce.

Frank Frank posted:

E: my wife is also famous for her deep dish lasagna and is already wrinkling her nose and saying things like �honey in the marinara? Are you SURE about that?�

This is hilarious.

# ? Jan 15, 2024 00:21

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# ? May 30, 2024 23:12

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

I'm assuming they have honey in it as, you know fastfood for kids -I assume that was who the intended demographic was? I mean that's assuming nate actually thought about that sort of thing) so they wanted the sauce to be sweet. Had sweet marinara sauce in South East Asia, and it can sort of work. Like I certainly wouldn't recommend it or anything, but it's fine in a fast food sort of way.

# ? Jan 15, 2024 00:34

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

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