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disposablewords posted:It's an actual word, from rugby and more general British use, about basically a messy group, usually with some kind of purpose. Like in rugby it's when both teams are trying to claim the ball. So it's like saying that work goes on in a messy situation but a result arises that can be made sense of, and then corpo buzzword idiots try to systematize it. Or get paid to pretend to. Half the scrums in union end in penalties, a quarter get reset for like 5 minutes, a quarter result in an interesting play, and 100 percent of them make 100 percent of players on the field angry at whoever dropped the ball in the first place. In that regard they are a perfect metaphor for corporate workflow, and the bonus of working an office job is that you're far less likely to end up with cauliflower ear!
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Jan 16, 2024 21:25
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The concept of a daily standup where each person only speaks for 1 minute is so far from reality it should make anyone doubt the efficacy of Agile/Scrum entirely.
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Jan 16, 2024 21:35
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Valatar posted:Elite has some basic traffic control on its stations, so it's feasible. Dunno if Star Citizen has any sort implemented yet, it sounds like they're just getting some dork on comms to pretend being a traffic controller for roleplaying purposes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGJtfOHAT0g
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Jan 16, 2024 21:49
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Agile/scrum is not that bad actually, if you act like a normal person and adapt to what makes sense, and do not act like the scrum rules were the 10 commandments. I work in a long standing project in incremental development / maintenance phase and it is a good way to schedule / plan work for the upcoming features or fixes. The concept of the daily stand ups has some merits - that people are following each other's work instead of being lost in time and space - but doing it 2-3 times a week works just as well without becoming a chore.
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Jan 16, 2024 22:31
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Scrum and agile bullshit only really makes sense in a CI environment which... most places just decide not to do. This is usually due to customer requirements in the experiences I've had. Of course they then try to shoehorn Agile bullshit into an over-glorified waterfall process... Project owners/project managers in these types of workplaces did nothing but gently caress up everyone else and their work. Stand ups in my experience tend to be dominated by co-workers that won't shut the gently caress up. Everyone eventually gets lost in the weeds regarding a specific piece of work for 30 minutes while refusing to listen to the 'scrum master' lol E: Just realized I basically summarized the skit linked earlier about scrum Mellow_ fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jan 16, 2024 |
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Jan 16, 2024 22:39
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Standups are the dumbest loving thing invented by management.
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Jan 16, 2024 22:43
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C-Bangin' it 
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Mellow_ posted:Stand ups in my experience tend to be dominated by co-workers that won't shut the gently caress up. Everyone eventually gets lost in the weeds regarding a specific piece of work for 30 minutes while refusing to listen to the 'scrum master' lol If you really want to have a daily roundup of what everyone is doing (which I would argue isn't necessary as anyone who is working on dependent tasks should already be working together) the "scrum master" or whatever should go around and collect everyone's update and put it in an email that way people can breakout and have separate discussions if warranted. In my experience it's impossible for people to avoid breaking the 1 minute rule and it inevitably goes off into the weeds at some point. The argument is often that Agile/scrum doesn't work because people aren't doing it right but I would say if it's so common for people to get it wrong than it's probably a bad system in the first place.
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Jan 16, 2024 22:45
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Popete posted:The argument is often that Agile/scrum doesn't work because people aren't doing it right but I would say if it's so common for people to get it wrong than it's probably a bad system in the first place. I've been saying this for years and I still get chastised by my peers. It's very clearly a system that has gone too far, bogging down workers as opposed to helping their productivity. It's a system of guidelines, really (piratesofthecaribbean). Not set in stone rules, which many scrum 'certified' idiots seem to believe.
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Jan 16, 2024 22:47
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Colostomy Bag posted:Standups are the dumbest loving thing invented by management. It's extra frustrating to me how transparent it is. It's just a way for PMs/POs to get some information as to what is going on so they can vomit it upwards to their managers. Appears like they know what is going on, but they're just getting short updates every day while they "discuss" the options of VMWare vs VirtualBox over a two week period.
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Jan 16, 2024 22:57
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dialhforhero posted:The only traffic control that exists is a 'let me launch' or 'let me land' kind. It doesn't care otherwise, but it does assign you a hangar. and doesn't it also make you vacate the hanger/assigned spot quickly once you're 'cleared' and if you loiter you are turned hostile and the defense systems engage you ? i seem to remember something hilarious like that from the old dancy cat videos
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Jan 17, 2024 00:03
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Weeeeell it’s working for SC, so maybe you all should get some lessons from them 
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Jan 17, 2024 00:05
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Ohhh wait so that's what a standup is? We were doing them daily for the last ~6 months on a particular client. They took about an hour each time and I got chastised for obviously working through them. We missed every deadline and possibly lost our biggest client lmao
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Jan 17, 2024 00:15
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It's supposed to be time boxed to something like 15 minutes and everyone gives an update on what they did yesterday, what they are doing today and what issues they are having all within 1 minute. Which even if you were being quick and concise seems difficult to do in a minute but it almost always derails into technical details and goes way longer.
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Jan 17, 2024 00:18
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The whole point of standups is that they're over very quickly - everyone talks for a minute or two, everyone gives their status, everyone says what they'll be working on that day, and then it's over. They're called "standups" because they're supposed to be over so fast no one has time to sit down. It's literally in the name! Yet every place I've every worked that's done "Agile" has had them run for 30-60-90 minutes. Every day. It's maddening.
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Jan 17, 2024 00:22
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Standups originated through a fundamental misunderstanding of the dynamics of watercooler chat by lizardmen in management. Lizardmen just don't human.
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Jan 17, 2024 00:29
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But have y’all ever sat through an academic department meeting? As an ex academic I am gladdest to be rid of those, for sure. Actually I kind of imagine Croberts being a lot like the utterly out of touch yet insistently hands-on chair who hasn’t taught an undergrad course or published an original paper in 20 years, telling his contingent faculty that they’re lucky to be there and etc etc uh oh this is hitting too close to home all of a sudden.
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Jan 17, 2024 01:09
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MarcusSA posted:Sandi lol
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Jan 17, 2024 01:19
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Apollodorus posted:Actually I kind of imagine Croberts being a lot like the utterly out of touch yet insistently hands-on chair who hasn’t taught an undergrad course or published an original paper in 20 years, telling his contingent faculty that they’re lucky to be there and etc etc uh oh this is hitting too close to home all of a sudden. Chris seems like the kind of boss who mires his immediate underlings in frequent, long, tedious, meandering meetings and requires them to give him lengthy detailed reports of what's going on which he pays zero attention to, and also the kind of boss who likes to walk up to actual workers and give them nonsensical direction without consulting or even informing their managers. But hey, at this point in time, I bet he spends at least four times as many hours complaining about and berating others for all the ways that things have gone wrong as he does actively derailing whatever it is people are actually trying to get done, so This Is Good For Star Citizen, probably.
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Jan 17, 2024 01:40
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https://packaged-media.redd.it/qxsi...6235443e104#t=0
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Jan 17, 2024 04:42
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Valatar posted:Elite has some basic traffic control on its stations, so it's feasible. Dunno if Star Citizen has any sort implemented yet, it sounds like they're just getting some dork on comms to pretend being a traffic controller for roleplaying purposes. You're missing the point. The "A" in "ATC" stands for air. They're in space.
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Jan 17, 2024 08:03
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Xakura posted:You're missing the point. The "A" in "ATC" stands for air. They're in space.  "Argon Temperature Control"
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Jan 17, 2024 09:44
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Mellow_ posted:I've been saying this for years and I still get chastised by my peers. It's very clearly a system that has gone too far, bogging down workers as opposed to helping their productivity. I mean it's funny but from everything said about CIG they could be any company I've heard of. It always works out to be exactly how the crobbler does his thing. The vague allusion to a dream of a memory of a thing that doesn't exist being the only functional spec. The constant meddling in things both as big as an entirely new game mode or as small as a blue pixel. The nonstop changing because he saw a movie and now SC needs a new thing. I can practically visualize working there. I guess it's slightly different at CIG because anything the big boss isn't immediately hyperfixated on might as well not exist so anyone tasked with actually making the game function has no pressure. Also I assume his amazing ideas are delivered via the old wavy-hands image which I will never stop calling crobberts_describes_how_sex_works.gif.
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Jan 17, 2024 12:36
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Blue On Blue posted:and doesn't it also make you vacate the hanger/assigned spot quickly once you're 'cleared' and if you loiter you are turned hostile and the defense systems engage you ? No. At least not now. It isn’t terribly different than how Elite does it. If you loiter landing pads that aren’t your own you do get a warning, then a fine, etc. You can sit in your hangar as long as you want. It doesn’t care until you leave the forcefield.
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Jan 17, 2024 13:10
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Strategic Tea posted:Ohhh wait so that's what a standup is? We were behind on schedule at one previous job so genius manager decided it would improve things if we moved from daily to twice daily standups. It did not help. Don't think I've ever worked anywhere that even tried to enforce a literal 1 minute rule though. With a team of half a dozen it'll take about 15-20 minutes, usually, assuming you don't have the one guy who doesn't know when to shut up.
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Jan 17, 2024 15:19
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Strategic Tea posted:We missed every deadline and possibly lost our biggest client lmao  I changed jobs and only have a Monday standup. Goal is 15mins with four teams involved but I think it went 20 once. I like this setup
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Jan 17, 2024 15:34
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Mailer posted:I mean it's funny but from everything said about CIG they could be any company I've heard of. It always works out to be exactly how the crobbler does his thing. The vague allusion to a dream of a memory of a thing that doesn't exist being the only functional spec. The constant meddling in things both as big as an entirely new game mode or as small as a blue pixel. The nonstop changing because he saw a movie and now SC needs a new thing. I can practically visualize working there. This reminds me of a place I used to work, pretty similar to the Wayfair model of furniture selling. It started out as a very small family business but by the time I left it was around 500 employees I think. The owner/CEO never really moved past it being his family business and didn't know wtf he was doing once it reached the scale of hundreds of employees. He would wander around kind of aimlessly and insert himself into discussions on his favourite project of the day so we would get ridiculous poo poo like the CEO coming into our team meeting and telling us how to design some minutiae of the feature we were working on, bypassing the expertise of multiple UX people and engineers. I guess that's kind of like working for Chris. To his credit, he did eventually realize that he was not capable of being CEO anymore and became a completely silent owner.
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Jan 17, 2024 15:39
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Fidelitious posted:
or he made enough money / got the ball rolling and realized he could be the CEO of his yacht instead of work
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Jan 17, 2024 16:33
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Lord Stimperor posted:I'm home sick in bed and, brain fog permitting, you've given me an idea If nothing else, you can always read about the Venezuelan patrol boat Naiguatá 
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Jan 17, 2024 18:17
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Recoome posted:Star Citizen is a front for money laundering
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Jan 17, 2024 19:16
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Apollodorus posted:Actually I kind of imagine Croberts being a lot like the utterly out of touch yet insistently hands-on chair who hasn’t taught an undergrad course or published an original paper in 20 years, telling his contingent faculty that they’re lucky to be there and etc etc uh oh this is hitting too close to home all of a sudden. Digression, but once had a senior faculty member tell me, during a grad student labor action: "You think you guys hate the administration? Imagine how we feel. You're here for what, 6 years? We're here for life!"
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Jan 17, 2024 19:19
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Recoome posted:Star Citizen is a front for money laundering This thread knows the truth, but In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.
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Jan 17, 2024 19:47
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feedmegin posted:assuming you don't have the one guy who doesn't know when to shut up. My last job had a mother fucker like this. Sounded like Randall from Recess, wouldn't shut the gently caress up about any and everything, never stopped sharing his lovely opinions. Unironically correcting people with a "MMMMMMMM ACTUALLYYYYY" for the most useless things. Yes, they said SALUD, not SELUD. We know what they mean. Someone says something in a standup that MAYBE interests or involves him? Time for a 5 minute diatribe. Just thinking about him is making me stressed out lol E: He also had incredibly gross hair and a beard he very poorly trimmed. This guy was the perfect embodiment of an annoying rear end Redditor that won't stop typing. Except it's talking. isdjifhasdfhkor Mellow_ fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Jan 17, 2024 |
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Jan 17, 2024 19:56
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Mellow_ posted:My last job had a mother fucker like this. Sounded like Randall from Recess, wouldn't shut the gently caress up about any and everything, never stopped sharing his lovely opinions. Fools often like to hear their own voices, to the detriment of the rest of us
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Jan 18, 2024 18:06
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Quiet week in Star Citizen huh?
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Jan 18, 2024 22:31
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Jonny Shiloh posted:Quiet week in Star Citizen huh? It's planning month, don't expect anything from CIG for awhile.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:34
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Popete posted:don't expect anything from CIG for awhile. Got it. Same as every month.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:55
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Popete posted:It's planning month, don't expect anything from CIG for awhile. Wonder what they're planning...
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Jan 18, 2024 22:55
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Not much.
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Jan 18, 2024 23:14
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Planning on taking your money.
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Jan 18, 2024 23:18
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Thinking of going back and trying to do a package delivery, but I discovered ExeDOS and it has soo many good games.
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