UKMT Winterval 2023/24 - Zero-Tolerance Zones in Hotpot Areas

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Winterval 2023/24 - Zero-Tolerance Zones in Hotpot Areas

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(Thread IKs: OwlFancier)

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

free-born because we had a functioning health service in the 1980s in spite of the civil war that helped me into the world without charge by responding to a 999 call within the half hour so ma could get me out without me choking on the old umbilical cord or that

# ? Jan 21, 2024 04:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 13:04

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

crispix posted:

also thanks for advice and all the scary warnings folks but i've recent experience of A&E and i'm not sitting in a plastic chair for 18 hours only to have a light shone in my eyes and sent home w/ paracetamol, i'll make a GP appointment on Monday and be seen in 6-8 weeks lol

i've told my mum so if i go in the night or w/e at any point she can see to the cat and that

i'll say this about a pin head pupil: instant bond villain look

fake norn iron tbh, she's yer wee mammy

# ? Jan 21, 2024 04:49

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

don't be twee :/

# ? Jan 21, 2024 04:50

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Wonder if this was sparked by the Post Office / Horizon affair?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-68030762

quote:

Universal Credit claims no longer paused while AI fraud checks carried out

The government has stopped routinely suspending benefit claims flagged by its Artificial Intelligence (AI)-powered fraud detector, it has emerged.

The Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) uses the technology to identify potentially suspicious claims for Universal Credit (UC).

It was previously the case that applications were put on hold while officials investigated further.

But a top official has now confirmed the department is no longer doing this.

Neil Couling, a senior DWP civil servant, revealed the change in policy in evidence to a committee of MPs.

He told the committee the department had decided to change tack following "feedback from claimants and elected representatives".

His comments have not been widely reported, but it is thought to be the first time the DWP has publicly acknowledged its shift in approach. The BBC has asked the department to confirm when it changed.

The DWP has put its AI tool at the heart of a plan to tackle increasing levels of benefits fraud, projecting it could save the department �1.6bn by 2030/31 through better targeting of investigations.

etc.

�1.6bn in 7 years - if they actually charged big companies their taxes, clawed back money paid out for non-existent or unusable PPE, Track & Trace, Rwandan deals and all the other dodgy stuff, switched DWP investigators to tax investigators, they could almost certainly cover that without traumatising claimants.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 04:50

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

crispix posted:

don't be twee :/

calling yer auld doll "mum" is a quare bit more twee than "mammy"

# ? Jan 21, 2024 07:43

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

*looks at opinion polls*

Yeah Laura K, I wonder why he thinks the Tories are dead in the water.

And just in case anyone thinks he was talking about Scotland, he wasn't:

BBC posted:

So what is exactly is the First Minister of Scotland, Humza Yousaf, up to when he proclaims so confidently that Starmer will reach Downing Street - and that the Labour leader "doesn't need Scotland" in order to do it?

The great polling guru Sir John Curtice tells me that, as thing stands, Yousaf is technically right.

I don't care if it's clickbait, it baited me.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 08:07

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

"Technically right", the best kind of correct!

E; I looked at the article and by 'technically' she means 'completely, and it isn't close, but I will do everything in my power to destroy the fanatical Leninist Starmer so here's some pablum about how voters are fickle and things might change before the GE'

Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Jan 21, 2024

# ? Jan 21, 2024 08:18

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

Yes I feel some posters are , understandably because no one else in UK gives the tiniest poo poo, unaware of just how bad things are in Northern Ireland. It�s not just �wait 10 hours to be seen in A&E�. The hospitals, along with every other loving thing that depends on an actual government running it, is nearing total collapse. You�d get better treatment in a field hospital in the middle of a war zone. Crispy is just another example of someone having their health put at risk due to the utter disfunction here.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 08:52

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

ThomasPaine posted:

I saw a fesshole post recently from a guy who decided to have a wank when his wife was out and got a bit freaky borrowing her toys. He ended up having a real bad stroke during the act, to the point the doctors later told him it was touch and go whether he'd make it. Apparently, though, through some insane feat of willpower brought on by the sheer terror of imagining his wife's last memory of him being his corpse riding her dildo, he managed to get up, mid-stroke (hohoho), and put it away before returning to bed to pass out, then woke up in the hospital some time later.

I have zero idea if this is remotely true but it did make me laugh more than it should have.

I was told there was an incredibly slim, but non-zero chance I would somehow die while they removed what they euphemistically called a foreign object

The weirdest part was waking up next to said object wrapped in a couple of plastic bags though. "better get this dildo back to him so he can do it again!!" If I was the doctor I think I'd have put it in the bin.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 08:52

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

I think we need a Norman & Mrs Norman wiki. Are they also freebirths? What clan are they affiliated with? Did British Leyland allow him to serve in anything larger than a Locust or a Firefly, or would he have had to join an mercenary unit?

# ? Jan 21, 2024 09:19

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Anyone doing Mrs Norman except crispix (and Norman himself of course ) should be bannable .

Unless he dies, in which case we all get a stake in Mrs Norman: The Musical

# ? Jan 21, 2024 09:33

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Wonder if this was sparked by the Post Office / Horizon affair?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-68030762

�1.6bn in 7 years - if they actually charged big companies their taxes, clawed back money paid out for non-existent or unusable PPE, Track & Trace, Rwandan deals and all the other dodgy stuff, switched DWP investigators to tax investigators, they could almost certainly cover that without traumatising claimants.

You missed the word "or". Literally every Tory fraud you listed exceeds �240m a year. The sweetheart deal that Vodafone were given in 2010 could by itself have covered the entire first round of austerity cuts to UK councils if they'd been made to pay in full.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 09:37

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Mrs Normans boys. :colbert:

# ? Jan 21, 2024 09:45

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Failed Imagineer posted:

Anyone doing Mrs Norman except crispix (and Norman himself of course ) should be bannable .

Unless he dies, in which case we all get a stake in Mrs Norman: The Musical

Agreed. When I do all caps stuff in future, its my Stewart Lee impression.

BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Ms Adequate posted:

fake norn iron tbh, she's yer wee mammy

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/mam-mum-mom-or-mammy-what-do-most-irish-people-call-their-mothers-1.4833679

"Some 31 per cent of adults call their mother "Mam" when speaking to her, 23 per cent prefer "Mum", 12 per cent say "Mom" and a further 12 per cent use "Mammy". Another 4 per cent of respondents call their mothers by their first name."

Its 'mum' in my area.
Its the freaks that use their first name you have to watch out for.

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Mrs Normans boys.

If you didn't see in the Irish thread, there's a French version called La Madame Brun, and its a carbon copy of the irish version. Its like a SCP uncanny valley of it.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 10:30

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

fuctifino posted:

I can legally drive my <4mph electric wheelchair while inebriated on any substance as it's classed as an extension to my legs, but it's a grey area when it comes to mobility scooters. While you can technically drive scooters drunk if you stay on the pavement and stick to <4mph, there have been isolated cases of police gaining court orders to confiscate mobility scooters from problematic dangerous drivers. In most cases those people end up purchasing a replacement the same day and are back out on the roads, forcing the police to go back to square one with everything.

You also don't have to be disabled to own and use an electric wheelchair or a <8mph mobility scooter.

I don't know why I'm telling the thread this, but I'm sure this nugget will prove useful to someone.

I was thinking about your benefits/inheritance dilemma the other day. This might sound like a captain tom style grift and I, much like captain tom's family, don't know poo poo about charities, but could you put the money straight into some charity setup in your mum's name (it can be a nasty name if you want) then buy like 5 of those bubble cars second hand on ebay and lease them back to yourself and other people in need of them for some really favourable token rate?

That way you don't need to splurge all the money on a brand new one just to come in under the benefits cash limit, but you still get one and so do some other people.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 10:57

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

crispix posted:

NORMAN WORKED FOR BRITISH LEYLAND

STOP GETTING NORMAN WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You might be at peace with what could happen to you, but just think what the thread will do to Mrs Norman if you aren't here to stop them. Save yourself, save Norman's

# ? Jan 21, 2024 11:06

Chubby Henparty: Aug 13, 2007

I had a device based episode about a decade back, had been staring at elite dangerous for hours when suddenly it felt like someone had flicked me in the temple and my eye went out of whack + headache for several hours. Blamed it on the reflection of the ir tracker and wondered if it was the sort of thing I should have had immediatetely looked at... I'll get you for this braben

# ? Jan 21, 2024 11:16

Oh dear me: Aug 14, 2012; I have burned numerous saucepans, sometimes right through the metal

NotJustANumber99 posted:

could you put the money straight into some charity setup in your mum's name

The DWP would count this as becoming poor deliberately and stop your benefits.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 11:48

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Ms Adequate posted:

calling yer auld doll "mum" is a quare bit more twee than "mammy"

My NI aunt calls her "mummy" in a really strong Belfast accent and it's very strange.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:00

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

Heads up for tonight:

They've just upgraded the amber warning to cover most of the UK

Re: inheritance stuff, I'm probably going to set up a trust and have the bulk of the money put into that, with the trust paying out for things like medicine costs, scooters and other items. I'm also going to be drawing up a couple of Lasting Powers of Attorney documents to give a close and trusted friend legal permission to look after my finances and make medical decisions for me if I'm ever unable to make them myself, and I'm also drawing up a will to give this person everything when I eventually go. At the moment, my brother is my official next of kin and, due to a lack of will, my current beneficiary, and that didn't feel quite right

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:02

toiletbrush: May 17, 2010

fuctifino posted:

Heads up for tonight:

They've just upgraded the amber warning to cover most of the UK

I went to see The End we Start From on Friday and this does not bode well

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:07

Just Another Lurker: May 1, 2009

happyhippy posted:

..
"Some 31 per cent of adults call their mother "Mam" when speaking to her, 23 per cent prefer "Mum", 12 per cent say "Mom" and a further 12 per cent use "Mammy". Another 4 per cent of respondents call their mothers by their first name."

Its 'mum' in my area.
Its the freaks that use their first name you have to watch out for.
..

I always said 'ma'... but not 'ma ma', a la Judge Dredd.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:10

Mebh: May 10, 2010

fuctifino posted:

Heads up for tonight:

They've just upgraded the amber warning to cover most of the UK

And the UK ends the only way it can. In a giant shower of piss.

It was a good run all!

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:17

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

There's 18% of mum's unaccounted for? Mother?

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:17

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Microplastics posted:

I was told there was an incredibly slim, but non-zero chance I would somehow die while they removed what they euphemistically called a foreign object

The weirdest part was waking up next to said object wrapped in a couple of plastic bags though. "better get this dildo back to him so he can do it again!!" If I was the doctor I think I'd have put it in the bin.

was it switched on the whole time it was stuck up ur bum

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:21

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Just Another Lurker posted:

Judge Dredd.

SHUTTLE'S CUMMIN, PAAWW!!!!

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:23

Kin: Nov 4, 2003; Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

Jakabite posted:

Just beware of over-reliance. I caught myself without fags and milk the other day and almost got in the car - the shop is a five minute walk.

That's my main vice with the car now too.

I'm old enough now to just go and get something if I want it, but I'm also lazy.

The closest scotmid is a 25 minute walk away, enough to put me off going there for anything unless it a big shop pre-car.

Now it's a 5 minute drive, if that, so if the wife or I want snacks like crisps or something then off to the shops I go.

Kin fucked around with this message at 12:36 on Jan 21, 2024

# ? Jan 21, 2024 12:29

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

happyhippy posted:

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/mam-mum-mom-or-mammy-what-do-most-irish-people-call-their-mothers-1.4833679

"Some 31 per cent of adults call their mother "Mam" when speaking to her, 23 per cent prefer "Mum", 12 per cent say "Mom" and a further 12 per cent use "Mammy". Another 4 per cent of respondents call their mothers by their first name."

Its 'mum' in my area.
Its the freaks that use their first name you have to watch out for.

Huh interesting, jokes aside this is a broader spread than I expected! Though I have heard a lot of people say something that's like at a weird midpoint between "mum" and "mom".

The first name people are utterly demented, surely the need to do something about them is enough to show the rest of us how petty our sectarian differences really are...

E;

NotJustANumber99 posted:

There's 18% of mum's unaccounted for? Mother?

Mater.

E2; Thinking about if Dredd was exactly the same in every regard except he had an accent from darkest Fermanagh

Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 13:07 on Jan 21, 2024

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:03

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

crispix posted:

was it switched on the whole time it was stuck up ur bum

no, thankfully the batteries ran out by the time I got to hospital

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:11

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

Lmao that Humza Yousaf just knocked 5-10 points off Labour's lead by saying the SNP would be "very willing" to work with Labour if Keith & the Gang win the next election.

Expect the first Tory attack ads to start running tomorrow on that.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:15

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Ms Adequate posted:

The first name people are utterly demented, surely the need to do something about them is enough to show the rest of us how petty our sectarian differences really are...

Don't think there is anything really causing it, less its step-parents.
I know some kids just call their parents by their first names as I used to do it when I was a kid.
And my brother's kid is doing the same right now to him, must be some way to learn the language, recognizing a person can have different names.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:35

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

fuctifino posted:

Heads up for tonight:

They've just upgraded the amber warning to cover most of the UK

Re: inheritance stuff, I'm probably going to set up a trust and have the bulk of the money put into that, with the trust paying out for things like medicine costs, scooters and other items. I'm also going to be drawing up a couple of Lasting Powers of Attorney documents to give a close and trusted friend legal permission to look after my finances and make medical decisions for me if I'm ever unable to make them myself, and I'm also drawing up a will to give this person everything when I eventually go. At the moment, my brother is my official next of kin and, due to a lack of will, my current beneficiary, and that didn't feel quite right

THE PISS IS SPREADING.
Also blood for the norn gods.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:40

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Only time I call my parents by their name is if I'm in a shop or somewhere where shouting "DAD!" will have everyone over the age of forty turn to see if you're theirs or not.

And if they've displeased me they're "father" and "mother."

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:42

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

happyhippy posted:

THE PISS IS SPREADING.
Also blood for the norn gods.

Very nice of the bad weather to respect Great Britain's coastal waters.

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:43

Mebh: May 10, 2010

Tesseraction posted:

Very nice of the bad weather to respect Great Britain's coastal waters.

Is that what they meant by Irish sea border then?

# ? Jan 21, 2024 13:58

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

fuctifino posted:

Heads up for tonight:

They've just upgraded the amber warning to cover most of the UK

Re: inheritance stuff, I'm probably going to set up a trust and have the bulk of the money put into that, with the trust paying out for things like medicine costs, scooters and other items. I'm also going to be drawing up a couple of Lasting Powers of Attorney documents to give a close and trusted friend legal permission to look after my finances and make medical decisions for me if I'm ever unable to make them myself, and I'm also drawing up a will to give this person everything when I eventually go. At the moment, my brother is my official next of kin and, due to a lack of will, my current beneficiary, and that didn't feel quite right

sorry for your loss and congratulations on your gains :unsmith: