|
Hadlock posted:How do you get children to eat spicy food? for my wife and I the bare minimum is serranos or Tabasco sauce to make food palatable. We almost never eat what our kid is eating Mine's only 9 months old so we're still keeping things pretty bland. When we give him anything spicy, we usually mix it with yogurt so he can taste it but it's also immediately cooling thanks to the yogurt. He really loves Japanese curry (I buy the "hot" stuff but it's not actually very spicy at all) mixed with yogurt and rice. btw I love tabasco, chili garlic sauce, Mexican hot sauces, the works, but my dude if you need that to make food palatable you've got to get some better food. King Hong Kong posted:I’m assuming Little Chickies/Los Pollitos is based off of the song “Los pollitos dicen” in which case, I don’t think trying to be bilingual and forgetting to tell a story is necessarily the point. ok it makes a lot more sense if it's a Spanish-language nursery rhyme and they've just thrown in an English translation too. I kept thinking "so the Spanish text rhymes and poo poo but the English is really half-assed", that would explain it.
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 00:47
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 02:37 |
|
|
King Hong Kong posted:I also hate the Berenstain Bears book where they put all the junk food in the freezer. How does that make any sense? I had all my barenstain bears books from my own childhood and that was one of the few we didn't put on the shelves, most of them hold up pretty well and have no glaring inappropriateness from being 40 years old. Getting a new sibling chat- Daniel tiger season two's story arc is a new baby coming to the family and does an excellent job describing the changes that will happen when a family grows including new emotions for the big-sibling-to-be.
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 14:17
|
|
|
Anyone have a recommendation for a microscope? My daughter would love one.
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 20:41
|
|
|
Muir posted:Anyone have a recommendation for a microscope? My daughter would love one. What kind of microscope or for what purpose? Biology stuff with slides use a different kind (lit from the bottom) than electronics repair or looking at opaque stuff (lit from the top) I have two amscope microscopes and they’re a good value if it’s a hobby. Highly recommend the one with the XY stage if she’s old enough to have a $200+ microscope
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 20:55
|
|
|
Democratic Pirate posted:Anyone have experience fighting medical bills? I really like https://armandalegshow.com/ this podcast - they just put out an episode with advice and resources on this.
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 22:22
|
|
|
Pham Nuwen posted:hi and welcome to kid book reviews, here are some books that we've been given which i loving hate and cannot wait to donate to goodwill (or the garbage can) This is blasphemy. Also, pointing out the kids books that are bad is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. That said, my personal bugaboo though are the kids books that either gently caress up the rhyme scheme or play games to make one work. Can't tell you how many times I've come across this and it always drive me nuts. The other class of book that I hate the new AI/mad-libs generated gift books that family members give you that are print-on-demand with your kid's name and photos in them. There's something about them that drives me nuts. It's like someone snuck a live-laugh-love sign into my library or something. El Mero Mero fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Jan 25, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2024 22:28
|
|
|
CarForumPoster posted:What kind of microscope or for what purpose? Biology stuff with slides use a different kind (lit from the bottom) than electronics repair or looking at opaque stuff (lit from the top) Basic kid science stuff. Sticking things from the garden on to look at.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 01:27
|
|
|
I'm all choked up right now. I just had a daddy-daughter date, we went out and got her a new watercolor set and then chatted over coffee in our favorite cafe. On the way home she told me she wants to have a kid "because of what we just did". She wants to have a kid so they can bond and chat like we do 
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 01:34
|
|
|
My only child asked me today: “do you have a bunch of kids all over the world?” No, honey, I don’t. I promise. You must be thinking of
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 01:40
|
|
|
Muir posted:Basic kid science stuff. Sticking things from the garden on to look at. Ahh you want a regular compound microscope. This will let you look at ants, pondwater, grass, biological stuff. It won't be good for rocks, metallurgy, and that sort of thing. If they're a lil older: $300 - https://www.amazon.com/AmScope-B120C-Magnification-Illumination-Double-Layer/dp/B009VUPIKM?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1 nice to haves on the more expensive model: - a camera - X-Y Stage so you can precisely explore the thing you're looking at - binocular lets you put a camera in one eye hole, quickly look over it with the other one If thats too much: $80 - https://www.amazon.com/AmScope-40X-1000X-Biological-Compound-Microscope/dp/B00VTUD8GS My biggest complaint about the top one is that the LED light could be brighter, but its still very useful. You can get slides on amazon for dirt cheap. Rounded corners for safety. You prob want kimwipes too. Might also want a calibration slide if they like to measure stuff. You can use cheap clear tape to mount things to slides. Fun fact: We found a spec-of-dirt sized insect in our pantry on new years eve. By sticking a picture of it taken with the microscope in ChatGPT, ChatGPT was able to correctly identify them as book lice which made getting rid of them trivial. Saved us far more than the cost of the microscope probably. CarForumPoster fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Jan 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 02:08
|
|
|
Is it innate knowledge for kids to shove a wash cloth in their butt crack during shower time and pretend it's either poop or an egg? Both my kids do it, and they don't shower together nor do we teach them how to do it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 02:18
|
|
|
Good-Natured Filth posted:Is it innate knowledge for kids to shove a wash cloth in their butt crack during shower time and pretend it's either poop or an egg? Both my kids do it, and they don't shower together nor do we teach them how to do it. its genetic
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 02:20
|
|
|
CarForumPoster posted:Ahh you want a regular compound microscope. This will let you look at ants, pondwater, grass, biological stuff. It won't be good for rocks, metallurgy, and that sort of thing. Awesome, thanks! It’s been a long time since I’ve mounted anything on a microscope, it’ll be fun to use one again. There are just so many models to choose from and it’s hard to know what’s decent.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 05:20
|
|
|
Heard my wife tell our daughter during a change that she had to "clean her donkey hole" and now buttholes will forever be dubbed donkey holes in our house.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 06:44
|
|
|
I'm on my phone but I'm sure someone will chime in with the URL, we have a dedicated microscope thread, although it doesn't get a whole lot of traffic
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 07:08
|
|
|
Qwijib0 posted:
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 15:18
|
|
|
It's amazing what even a little extra effort means to a kid. All my daughter can talk about is what a great night she had with me. We went to one store and a cafe, but she had my undivided attention and that meant the world to her  This parenting thing is really hard but it's so worth it
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 15:22
|
|
|
Brawnfire posted:It's amazing what even a little extra effort means to a kid. All my daughter can talk about is what a great night she had with me. We went to one store and a cafe, but she had my undivided attention and that meant the world to her This warms my heart so much! I hope so badly that my daughter and I can continue to have a great relationship as she gets older. My husband has such a wonderful relationship with his parents and sister, and I hope we can have the same with our daughter too. I know everyone is different but I just hope that we stay in touch regularly when she leaves the nest one day.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 16:05
|
|
|
"Mommy what are these jars for" "Honey" "What?" "Honey" "WHAT" "HONEY" "WHAT DO YOU WANT" "No we're putting honey in the jars" "Oh" My wife and kid, a modern day Abbot and Costello. I'm so happy to have been a witness to this exchange
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 16:12
|
|
|
I can't wait until my 2.5 year old becomes less focused on me. She throws gigantic fits if I leave to go work in my home office or leave to my real office, and acts like her mom and other family members don't exist when I'm around. It's exhausting to be the only parent she wants to be near. No idea where it came from. She acts just fine with and loves her mom when I'm not around eventually so it's not that she hates her mom or anything.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 17:43
|
|
|
Slaan posted:I can't wait until my 2.5 year old becomes less focused on me. She throws gigantic fits if I leave to go work in my home office or leave to my real office, and acts like her mom and other family members don't exist when I'm around. It's exhausting to be the only parent she wants to be near. No idea where it came from. If you find an answer to this let me know. Our nearly 3 year old is the same way only with my wife and not me. Its exhausting for her and makes me feel like a terrible parent even though I know its just her being a toddler doing toddler things.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 17:48
|
|
|
So I posted recently about my 9 year old son acting out in school and we talked through a bunch of stuff here. He's calmed down from throwing fits, however he's still not doing the work he's supposed to be and just reads instead. He does his math and other school work, but we've pinpointed the one thing...journal. They get a writing prompt and all the teacher wants is 7 sentences. My son has decided this is impossible for him to do, so he just doesn't. We had a remote learning day this past Monday and I also stayed home from work due to lovely icy conditions, so I got to see first hand him just refuse to do it, even if I tried to talk him through, he just wasn't having it. I've been trying to work with him, the prompt for Monday when he was home was "what did you do this weekend?". That weekend I had taken him to see a movie, we had gone shopping for clothes, had gone out to eat for lunch afterwards, etc. He had plenty to write about and I tried to talk him through that but he just screamed and cried and kept repeating that it was impossible. Cut to today, he has a doctor's appointment this morning so he was going into school late, and my wife was taking him. They do the appointment, get to school, and he refuses to get out of the car for her, and screams/cries/throws a fit. She called me, I tried to talk him down too, but again there's no talking him down. She ended up taking him to work with her. When we all get home, I don't know what I'm going to do with him, but we are taking at the very least video games away, and it's going to be for a while. Still waiting to hear back from the school on getting him to see a counselor.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 18:37
|
|
|
nesbit37 posted:If you find an answer to this let me know. Our nearly 3 year old is the same way only with my wife and not me. Its exhausting for her and makes me feel like a terrible parent even though I know its just her being a toddler doing toddler things. Mine doesn't have a wubbie or security blanket etc, so best I can think of is that I'm acting as that for her 
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 18:57
|
|
|
Combo posted:He does his math and other school work, but we've pinpointed the one thing...journal. They get a writing prompt and all the teacher wants is 7 sentences. My son has decided this is impossible for him to do, so he just doesn't. We had a remote learning day this past Monday and I also stayed home from work due to lovely icy conditions, so I got to see first hand him just refuse to do it, even if I tried to talk him through, he just wasn't having it. I've been trying to work with him, the prompt for Monday when he was home was "what did you do this weekend?". That weekend I had taken him to see a movie, we had gone shopping for clothes, had gone out to eat for lunch afterwards, etc. He had plenty to write about and I tried to talk him through that but he just screamed and cried and kept repeating that it was impossible. At a minimum this sounds like anxiety and I would second the Yale SPACE program that was mentioned earlier. My kid once had a five hour tantrum over doing a worksheet at the start of the pandemic so I feel your pain. For that specific schoolwork trigger, is it present if you modify the assignment a few different ways? Can he verbally relay what he did last weekend? If not, there may be a bigger memory issue that might be going on. Can he do copywork? If you get him to orally lay things out and write it down for him, will he copy the sentences? Is he willing to try typing instead of handwriting? This is a surprisingly simple accommodation that sometimes works well. Bullet points instead of sentences - this can help him get it down if he has organizational struggles, then he can work on building a sentence for each bullet (or get a modification for the work to only write one sentence).
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 19:18
|
|
|
Combo posted:My son has decided this is impossible for him to do, so he just doesn't. Combo posted:They do the appointment, get to school, and he refuses to get out of the car for her, and screams/cries/throws a fit. To give an example here: my son is very routine-oriented and doesn't respond well to surprises. He'll go along with changes to his usual routine if we can prepare him and walk him through the changes ahead-of-time, otherwise he has a tendency to "tantrum" (which is really a fight-or-flight survival response on his part). A few months ago he had a pediatricians appointment for a flu shot, so we told him we were going to take him to the "doctor" in the morning then school. However, he had a bunch of dental work done just prior to this, so when we said "doctor" he assumed we were taking him to the dentist. So when we showed up at the pediatrician's office he Flipped His poo poo and refused to get out of the car because we had taken him somewhere he was not prepared for and he could not process that experience. (Thankfully they were willing to give him the shot in the car.) A couple of months later he had his annual pediatrician well-check appointment so this time we were clear in preparing him for the pediatrician and he went through the appointment great absolutely no problems. Combo posted:When we all get home, I don't know what I'm going to do with him, but we are taking at the very least video games away, and it's going to be for a while. Combo posted:Still waiting to hear back from the school on getting him to see a counselor. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Jan 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 19:23
|
|
|
Replies in line:Engineer Lenk posted:At a minimum this sounds like anxiety and I would second the Yale SPACE program that was mentioned earlier. ExcessBLarg! posted:OK, so it's not that he doesn't "want" to do it (i.e., the refusal is a willful decision), but he believes he's incapable of it. While it may be obvious to you that he could (or should) be able to do it, he clearly has a block around it. I don't know if you're able to poke at this further with him in a non-judgmental way to get him to review the process by which he determines he's incapable, but that's the next thing. Combo fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Jan 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 19:28
|
|
|
I would highly recommend against the expectation of unlimited screen time with that age/presentation, particularly if you’re simultaneously using it as the reward/punishment. Keeping a consistent time during school days and a fixed block of time on weekends and non school days will keep things more balanced, and be completely predictable. If your son is receptive to learning to self-soothe, there are breathing exercises and the 54321 strategy along with checking your own heart rate that can help.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 20:01
|
|
|
Combo posted:So no, not a normal thing but he was fully aware he was going to school afterwards and we talked about it. I even asked if he was going to miss journal time (if they do it at the same time every day, which they do apparently but it would have been after he got to school, so he wouldn't have missed it). If it was the former, I don't know, behavioral therapy time. But from your description I have a suspicion it was the latter, that even if he was aware that he was going to go to school after the appointment, he had some kind of triggering episode and that was his response. If it was this, then you need to figure out what the trigger was. Which basically means asking him, but when you do, you have to reassure him that he's not going to be "in trouble" for what he says and that you'll support him regardless of his answer. Combo posted:I get it, but it just doesn't feel right letting him just do all the things he wants to do at home with no repercussions when he's not doing poo poo at school and upholding his end of the bargain. Combo posted:We even had taken the limiters off of his screen time, so the last week or two he's had as much time to play games or whatever as he wants. He's enjoyed it, and I told him if he can keep up the good behavior at school it would continue. Turns out he wasn't freaking out and causing a scene but he just still wasn't doing anything. It's also lead to him pretty much never reading at home or really doing much else unless we tell him to stop for lunch or to go somewhere. His eating took a dive too because he would barely eat so he could get back to games, until we started enforcing some hour breaks here and there. The fact that he's not having outbursts at school is, perhaps, strictly better behavior than when he was, and if you want to reward that change you may just have to find some other motivator that doesn't compromise on boundaries. Maybe you can buy him a new game (the he can play for one hour a day), etc. Combo posted:Yeah we are, the pediatrician (got his flu shot yesterday) apparently recommended someone to my wife, so we'll see. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Jan 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 20:01
|
|
|
Yeah, I strongly encourage not using unlimited screen time as a reward, because the high dopamine hit makes all the other rewards you could be using less effective? Then they get accustomed to having that tsunami of dopamine from the screen time AND not getting that stimulation feels like a punishment because they don’t have another good way to self-soothe? Don’t know if it’s true for your kid, but it’s definitely true for mine - and especially my son.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 20:51
|
|
|
It wasn't a reward really, we had just been limiting him to an hour a day, even on weekends, which seemed like maybe a little too strict (especially in the last couple of weeks when we've had awful freezing weather and just really hadn't left the house much). But yeah it's become pretty clear pretty quickly that he can't regulate himself, I was hoping after the initial burst he would start getting bored here and there and at least get off of it for a while, but not the case, so we started breaking it up and making him take a breather multiple times a day.
|
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 21:04
|
|
|
About screen time, FWIW, I think an hour a day should be "enough". Depending on what they do with their screen time, my reflection is that most of that time is not spent doing something that the kid "needs", as in, contributes to their development. In either case, doing whatever kids do on screens for 1 1/2 hours instead of 1 is not going to benefit them (at least in any way that matters). So, extending it doesn't really serve a purpose and risks being a disservice. I don't buy into the "dopamine dieting" theory (I think it has no basis in science), but there are other great reasons to limit screen time and as long as it's consistent it doesn't have to feel unfair to the kid to simply have a limit. I agree with the posters advising you to not take away privileges over this recent behavior, since I agree it looks like anxiety- or panic-driven behavior, based on your observation when he failed to do the journalling at home. Removing games or whatever will erode his trust in you, his guardians, who he expects to always have his back. Work with the teacher to find him another daily writing exercise to do, if he has a "mental block" on the specifics of journalling. As a stop-gap, I mean, while looking for therapy options. Generally, if you find your self disciplining a child (whenever it turns into punishment rather than feedback), if you feel you have to go through with it, it has to be done in a particular way in order to be effective: - Predictable, as in agreed ahead of time that if you don't do the work at school, we can't have the video games at home - Immediate. (Not the next day.) - Using a warning is sometimes effective, as in "if this happens again we are taking away your video games" - Always follow through. But again, I don't think disciplining is going to work in your favor in this particular case. Punishing does nothing to move him towards the goal (teaching him to write the journal), it can only suppress unwanted behavior (defiance, tantrums etc). One way of structuring your thoughts on this kind of problem might be to think opposite: not "how do I stop him from doing the unwanted thing" but rather "how can he develop the behaviors we want to see". I know, I'm a big softie who likes to think I can get away with "positive parenting" stuff and theorize all day about it, but my kid is still only 5 so I have not had nearly as many frustrations yet. I'm sure I will eventually reach the end of the line for what's possible and have to resort to "discipline" one day. Perhaps soon. But I can still strive to avoid it... Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jan 27, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 26, 2024 23:48
|
|
|
It's one thing if the discipline is effective--at least then we can have a discussion about on the merits of positive vs. negative feedback. However, it's another when the discipline is ineffective in its intended goal (compliance with the assignments), causes emotional distress, and is done on a "it won't work, but I still feel the need to do it anyways" basis. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Jan 27, 2024 |
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 00:34
|
|
|
Hippie Hedgehog posted:About screen time, FWIW, I think an hour a day should be "enough". Depending on what they do with their screen time, my reflection is that most of that time is not spent doing something that the kid "needs", as in, contributes to their development. In either case, doing whatever kids do on screens for 1 1/2 hours instead of 1 is not going to benefit them (at least in any way that matters). For a long time there was a bias that most forms of screen time were purely for entertainment and didn't provide developmental benefits, and while that's probably largely true for toddler-age children (who lack the cognitive capacity to interact with these interfaces in meaningful ways) I'd argue the opposite is true for older children. Many forms of video/computer games provide interactive opportunity to develop critical thinking skills in ways that linear mediums of entertainment simply can't provide. But sure, there's also a lot of crap out there too. Take an active interest in what your kids are actually doing, even on screens. Now, that said, when the kiddo is only home for three hours on a weekday, an hour of screen time seems like a reasonable boundary to me. On a rainy-day weekend though if they're stuck at home anyways I'd expect to have a greater allowance. It just has to be balanced so that they have time to meet their other needs.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 01:06
|
|
|
15 month old on the beach, eating a Ritz cracker. Drops a few sizable crumbs into the sand, wants them. Grabs a fist of sand and shoves into his mouth, learning a lesson about the beach.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 01:24
|
|
|
Yeah, he's very engineering brained and loves making things in minecraft and legos (not just building, but messing around with circuits and traps/chain reactions etc) which is great. Last 6 months or so has been all about various games in roblox though, most of which are just like an ADD drip feed of memes and random nonsense. We all got home about the same time, he was excited that he got to go to my wife's work instead of school. I said it sounded like he had a rough morning, and he immediately just went to his room and shut his door and laid down in bed. I sat on the bed side and tried to just talk to him a bit but he wasn't having any of it and eventually just fell asleep while I was sitting there. Who the hell knows. Sounds like we got him a therapist visit for early Feb. Also apparently the councilor at school talking to him already happened, but they never sent an email or anything to let us know 1. any evaluation or anything or 2. that it even happened in the first place. I'm pretty annoyed at the school system at the moment, going to call or email on Monday and find out what that's all about.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 01:41
|
|
|
Combo, here are two book recs for you and your wife: 1. Eli R. Lebowitz Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents This is the guy at Yale who came up with SPACE (supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions) 2. Ross W Greene PhD The Explosive Child [Sixth Edition]: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children Kinda self-explanatory. This is the guy who came up with the CPS (collaborative and proactive solutions) intervention model.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 02:14
|
|
|
Combo posted:Also apparently the councilor at school talking to him already happened, but they never sent an email or anything to let us know 1. any evaluation or anything or 2. that it even happened in the first place. I'm pretty annoyed at the school system at the moment, going to call or email on Monday and find out what that's all about. This is by design so that the school feels like a safe space for them. If anything meaningful came up in conversation or if it necessitated looping you in, trust me you would have received a call.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 03:19
|
|
|
There are some real shitheel parents out there
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 06:44
|
|
|
In terms of "oh poo poo, we're traveling, TODAY, IN AN HOUR" tablet streaming video offline mode blah blah power rankings, Disney+ is the undisputed winner. One button to download an entire season of XYZ favorite show? Hell to the hekkin' yes. And it's super fast Prime has a good variety of kids shows but downloading an entire season is a bunch of taps, and it's a total crap shoot if it actually downloads everything. I'm still waiting for it to download all of season 2 of Clarkson's Farm a year later Haven't tried Netflix recently they went nazi on logins and hosed my poo poo up Kiddo is currently working her way though season x of Bluey on Disney plus which was downloaded in like 3 minutes flat
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 08:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 02:37 |
|
|
ExcessBLarg! posted:At nine years old though, I think the value of "screen time" really depends on exactly what they're doing. For example, a kiddo that actively spends that time building things in Minecraft is probably gaining just as much cognitive benefit as they would spending the same amount of time building things out of LEGO. If anything, there's an inherent value in our current (and certainly, future) society to in being able to navigate virtual spaces. Yeah, sounds like we're really in complete agreement. My reflection was more about the dosage: Assuming the kid is doing something developmentally "useful" with their screen time, making it 1 hour per day or 2 hours shouldn't really matter due to diminishing returns. An hour a day is plenty to provide spatial awareness in virtual worlds, or whatever, since that hour happens daily for a long time. In that case you should probably side with the lower amount.
|
|
#
?
Jan 27, 2024 09:14
|
|