2023 NFL Coaching Carousel: The Night of Short Drives

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2023 NFL Coaching Carousel: The Night of Short Drives

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aperion: May 15, 2007; i want to believe; Grimey Drawer

a neat cape posted:

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/1755656292767764716?t=5G05nJkLx6tEH1u1KovCww&s=19

Telesco has about as many connections as Bellichick if all he can do is hire former Chargers guys lmao

# ? Feb 8, 2024 21:32

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# ? May 20, 2024 04:27

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

OneMoreTime posted:

This made me look up the the Jets draft history and it made me remember that in 2000, the Jets had four first round picks, which they proceeded to spend on:

12. Shaun Ellis (DE)
13. John Abraham (DE/LB)
18. 2-time comeback player of the year Chad Pennington (QB)
27. Anthony Becht (TE)

Like granted, the first two rounds of the draft post-pick 11 weren't exactly full of must-have players (except maybe Shaun Alexander and Keith Bullock) but imagine having four first rounders and getting 1 good player, another good player who would spend the majority of his career on other teams, a QB who was good when he wasn't injured (he was always injured) and whatever Anthony Becht got up to. Just euuuuggh

They drafted 4 players in the first round and all 4 had 10+ year NFL careers. That's incredible.

They eventually traded Abraham for a 1st rounder, that they then used on Nick Mangold. They also got Laveranues Coles in the 3rd. This was a home run draft by any measure.

# ? Feb 8, 2024 22:03

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

aperion posted:

Telesco has about as many connections as Bellichick if all he can do is hire former Chargers guys lmao

I mean it makes sense to bring along guys you've worked with before if you respect their abilities and can work well together. I've had former bosses try (and sometimes succeed!) to poach me for their new company the millisecond their non-competes expired lol.

I don't know how this explains Belichick's fixation with Matt Patricia, however, since he is a horrible coach professionally and a loathsome rear end in a top hat personally :iiam:

# ? Feb 8, 2024 22:10

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

Docjowles posted:

I don't know how this explains Belichick's fixation with Matt Patricia, however, since he is a horrible coach professionally and a loathsome rear end in a top hat personally

Patricia would be virtually unemployable without Belichick's word backing him up, so his loyalty is guaranteed.

# ? Feb 8, 2024 22:54

OneMoreTime: Feb 20, 2011; *quack*

Diva Cupcake posted:

They drafted 4 players in the first round and all 4 had 10+ year NFL careers. That's incredible.

They eventually traded Abraham for a 1st rounder, that they then used on Nick Mangold. They also got Laveranues Coles in the 3rd. This was a home run draft by any measure.

Two of those players played the majority of their careers for other teams, though that's a good point for Abraham, I didn't realize he got traded for the first that led to Mangold. Pennington himself was a good quarterback but he was constantly injured. He only played one full season for the Jets (though he did get close in 2002 and 2004, playing 15 games and 13 respectively).

I guess my point more with that it's more proof that even when they have a bounty, the Jets are cursed in the draft beyond measure. I don't blame them for the players they picked necessarily, there wasn't a whole lot of great players in the positions but it's like god themselves wanted to make sure that even when they got such an amazing amount of picks, it was going to be in a year with the least effect. Like if it was the following year and they had the same picks in the same positions they would've had a chance at Steve Hutchinson, Drew Brees, Reggie Wayne, Todd Heap and Alge Crumpler, all who were drafted within the first two rounds past Pick 12. It just feels ridiculously unlucky to get those picks that year.

# ? Feb 8, 2024 23:59

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

OneMoreTime posted:

Two of those players played the majority of their careers for other teams, though that's a good point for Abraham, I didn't realize he got traded for the first that led to Mangold. Pennington himself was a good quarterback but he was constantly injured. He only played one full season for the Jets (though he did get close in 2002 and 2004, playing 15 games and 13 respectively).

I guess my point more with that it's more proof that even when they have a bounty, the Jets are cursed in the draft beyond measure. I don't blame them for the players they picked necessarily, there wasn't a whole lot of great players in the positions but it's like god themselves wanted to make sure that even when they got such an amazing amount of picks, it was going to be in a year with the least effect. Like if it was the following year and they had the same picks in the same positions they would've had a chance at Steve Hutchinson, Drew Brees, Reggie Wayne, Todd Heap and Alge Crumpler, all who were drafted within the first two rounds past Pick 12. It just feels ridiculously unlucky to get those picks that year.

You are calling out a draft after which period (2000 through like 2010) the Jets were solidly in the upper half of the league in terms of success. They were over 500 8 of those 11 years, made the playoffs 6 times, won playoff games and were all and all the most competitive they have ever been in their history.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 00:40

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Good move

https://twitter.com/MikeGarafolo/status/1755738660417441968?t=GrtFBfOMXR1O8w4nVVgkzg&s=19

# ? Feb 9, 2024 00:46

OneMoreTime: Feb 20, 2011; *quack*

mcmagic posted:

You are calling out a draft after which period (2000 through like 2010) the Jets were solidly in the upper half of the league in terms of success. They were over 500 8 of those 11 years, made the playoffs 6 times, won playoff games and were all and all the most competitive they have ever been in their history.

It brought them six playoff wins, four of which were from 2009 and 2010, when only one of those players from the 2000 draft was even left.

Once again, I don't blame them for who they picked at the time. I'm saying that it's unlucky to have that sheer amount of picks in THAT draft, when there were other drafts where it seems like they could have added a ton of talent to their team.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 00:51

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

OneMoreTime posted:

It brought them six playoff wins, four of which were from 2009 and 2010, when only one of those players from the 2000 draft was even left.

Once again, I don't blame them for who they picked at the time. I'm saying that it's unlucky to have that sheer amount of picks in THAT draft, when there were other drafts where it seems like they could have added a ton of talent to their team.

You are arguing an insane side of this. There is not one Jet fan in the world who doesn't think that draft was a unmitigated success.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 01:33

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Should've saved those draft picks for a year and drafted four Gronks.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 02:18

Diva Cupcake: Aug 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/tompelissero/status/1755766258514239539?s=46

# ? Feb 9, 2024 02:34

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

too bad.. i don't think rex is getting back in at this point

# ? Feb 9, 2024 02:36

elime anning: Nov 19, 2002; Morbid Hound

dang it. good hire

# ? Feb 9, 2024 02:54

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

I don't think it's a bad hire but I do think it's very funny that McCarthy and Zimmer are now coaching together.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 04:56

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Another has-been retread lmao

# ? Feb 9, 2024 04:59

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

I would like to see all former NFC North head coaches combine like Voltron to fill the Cowboys coordinator positions

# ? Feb 9, 2024 06:09

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Hot Diggity! posted:

Another has-been retread lmao

He�s very good.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 08:04

Q_res: Oct 29, 2005; We're fucking built for this shit!

Nervous posted:

I would like to see all former NFC North head coaches combine like Voltron to fill the Cowboys coordinator positions

Since this implies the idea of Matt Patricia wandering the Cowboys sideline, I'm on-board.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 08:09

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

it's wild that the Cowboys didn't fire Fat Mike and will still end up having a better coaching staff next season

# ? Feb 9, 2024 11:13

Nodoze: Aug 17, 2006; If it's only for a night I can live without you

It's so dumb they didn't just fire Fat Mike now instead only to run it back in an inevitable failure where he then gets fired and they bring in Bill

# ? Feb 9, 2024 13:35

Asproigerosis: Mar 13, 2013; insufferable

Nah it's brilliant strategy to throw away a season by keeping a poo poo coach who's a proven loser for no loving reason. Just like my eagles. Nfc east is a trendsetter for self sabotage.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 13:41

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

Stink Fartindale to be Michigan's new DC

# ? Feb 9, 2024 16:53

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Nervous posted:

I would like to see all former NFC North head coaches combine like Voltron to fill the Cowboys coordinator positions

I hear Lovie Smith has lots of free time these days. His coaching DID lead directly to the Texans drafting Stroud and immediately turning the franchise around... :thunk:

# ? Feb 9, 2024 18:12

A Sneaker Broker: Feb 14, 2020; Daily Dose of Internet Brain Rot

https://x.com/TomPelissero/status/1756035265553113386?s=20

# ? Feb 9, 2024 20:20

Coldforge: Oct 29, 2002; I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Great hire. Bowman was a brilliant technician at LB.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:00

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

Chip Kelly is going to Ohio State to be OC. Wild Ride 2.0 is on hold

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:03

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Coldforge posted:

Great hire. Bowman was a brilliant technician at LB.

Huh. Neat.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:03

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

A Sneaker Broker posted:

https://x.com/TomPelissero/status/1756035265553113386?s=20

Power move to grab the Sandstorm guy.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:09

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

Another OC off the board

https://twitter.com/PeteThamel/status/1756029884525085166?s=19

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:16

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Harlock posted:

Another OC off the board

https://twitter.com/PeteThamel/status/1756029884525085166?s=19

Thank God Seattle won't accidentally hire him.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:24

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Seems weird to go from being a college coach to being a college OC without being fired.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:26

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

SKULL.GIF posted:

Seems weird to go from being a college coach to being a college OC without being fired.

He was on the hot seat for most of the year and really only saved his job by thumping USC. He could very well end up fired at the end of next year. Also, he hates recruiting.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:29

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

SKULL.GIF posted:

Seems weird to go from being a college coach to being a college OC without being fired.

Chip wants out of ucla bad

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:29

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

UCLA in the Big Ten now, Chip doesn't want to get his face smashed in every week. Also doesn't want to deal with the wild west of recruiting and NIL money.

# ? Feb 9, 2024 21:38