DoctorTristan posted:

Pleased to say I have no idea who or what that is

Stefan Prodan posted:

this is my dad unfortunately

he will literally, no exaggerration, talk for over an hour on the phone while only pausing for long enough for you to say "mm hmm" occasionally and seriously will not stop until my mom interrupts him because they have to go do something. everything he says reminds him of a different 10 minute story he has to tell you right then that you've heard 100 times before

i'll just be waiting for any pause longer than like a second, second and a half that I can jump in and it just never comes

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Take the Hank Venture approach and just leave him on the phone with a vaguely interactive tape recording for hours.

Troublemaker posted:

AITAH for wanting to leave my fiancé?

PetraCore posted:

Girlfriend is insane, it's literally not OP's house.

Shifty Pony posted:

I'm with you. She got hosed doing something spectacularly dumb and/or illegal, and this is the cover story.

You can't just walk into a bank branch one day and get $50k cash. Even if you routinely make large cash withdrawals and the banks internal "something is fucky here" controls don't deny the transaction, a bank will still need several days notice to have that much cash ready for you at a branch.

kirbysuperstar posted:

really? him?

CommissarMega posted:

At least she's not crushing on Bakugou, I guess.

CommissarMega posted:

Shameful in that this was my reflexive thought. At least she's not crushing on Bakugou, I guess.

On a more serious note, I wanted to make a 'In this essay I will' joke, but drat, I think that woman has deeper issues than liking an anime dude and writing NSFW fanfic. I'm no psychologist/sociologist, mind you, but between new social norms recreating social circles, working to support the family and a husband who doesn't seem all thatappreciative, she might just be starved for some kind of supportive network.

Mx. posted:

MagusofStars posted:

Hey now, everybody knows that tenants always replace the carpeting and repaint every room of dwellings they live in but don't own, even if the owners don't need/want it. Hell, I carry around a gallon of paint any time I visit a friend's house, just so I can repaint their rooms too.

babypolis posted:

idgi why is everyone jumping on this guy?

quote:

My dad is well-off. There are 4 of us children. We are all grown and have our own families. Dad wants to gift each family $250,000. The only catch is that we must apply it to our mortgages. If the money pays off a house, we can spend any leftover money however we see fit.

For my family, it cuts the mortgage in half. When we refinance the mortgage, we'll be saving $1,200 per month.

We have separate bank accounts. I pay the mortgage; my spouse pays for everything else because it works out the same. We split extras like vacations and things for our kids down the middle. I think I should get to keep the entire $1,200 savings every month, while my spouse thinks I should split the profit by putting $600 towards the bills they pay, and I only keep $600 for myself.

Would I be the AH if I tell my spouse that since my father gave me the money, I get to keep the entire $1,200 per month savings for myself while my spouse continues to pay what they've been paying all along?

EDIT: Formatting of paragraphs and typo that misgendered.

cat botherer posted:

If the dad has to stipulate a rule like that, the son and/or other kids probably have a history of being morons with money.

e: yeah they didn't specify gender, but I'm going to take a wild guess that it's a dude with an extensive Funko-Pop collection.

quote:

Things have been a bit rocky in our relationship lately. We keep having these ridiculous arguments. And lately in the heat of anger my husband has thrown some pretty nasty words at me. I'm fearing that he is checking out.

I don't have any proof he is cheating or looking to. BUT, I keep having this awful gut wrench over it, even when things are seemingly going very well.

Saw a weird email he got last night from his buddy who owns a tactical gear shop. The title was "coloring book!" And the body of the email said "enjoy your book!." There was no attachment on the email.

My husband went to visit this guy at his shop last night. The email came through at 7:30 pm. My husband was home much later then that, had he left the shop at 7:30 he would have been home at 8:00 and instead he arrived home around 9:00. He also got kind of avoidant when I asked him how his visit was. His response was odd and just not typical.

Also my husband would NOT buy an actual coloring book and our son is 12 and no longer interested in coloring books.

What could this possibly mean?! Is there some tactical slang that I'm unaware of?

Propaniac posted:

Anyone know what "coloring book" might be slang for? My(39F) husband (41M) got a weird email that makes no sense.

Propaniac posted:

Anyone know what "coloring book" might be slang for? My(39F) husband (41M) got a weird email that makes no sense.

mystes posted:

If they didn't keep their finances separate already that would definitely be a lovely move.

Given that they keep their finances separate, I don't know? Like maybe if you're keeping all your finances separate and not just money from before the marriage it makes sense that the money should pay off the OP's share of the mortgage and the spouse should keep paying if the goal is to be able to divorce at a moment's notice with minimal financial entanglement or whatever?

But I don't really understand how people can be married and have that sort of approach to their finances in the first place. (How can that kind of relationship possibly work?)

And if the whole idea of keeping separate bank accounts was from the OP in the first place, and I was the spouse and had just grudgingly going along with it, I would probably be starting to have second thoughts.

quote:

My boyfriend (M18) and I (F19) visited his family for a week during the holidays. I knew I was bothering his family so I bought gifts for his parents and I crocheted a handbag for his sister to show my gratitude. Everything seemed fine when I met his family, but the problem started when, during this vacation, I shared a room with his sister (F16). I have a habit of sleeping with a night light because I'm afraid of darkness, and I also stay up quite late. The first night, I asked his little sister what time she usually sleeps and she said it depends, so I just let her sleep whenever she wanted to sleep.

The first night I left the night light dim, and she didn't say anything or tell me to turn off the light, but then around 2 a.m., I saw her covering her head with a blanket. I guess she had trouble sleeping so I turned off the light just to be sure because I didn't know what she wanted. After that night, her attitude gradually changed negatively towards me, and then my boyfriend told me she was complaining to him that she couldn't sleep because I left the night light on until 2 AM.

I was like, why doesn’t she tell me instead of talking through my boyfriend? He said she usually doesn't tell the person she has a problem directly, but instead complains to someone else. So on the second night, I proactively said sorry to her, and I turned off the night light completely to sleep in the dark (which resulted in me having a nightmare, but I didn't complain about it). Yet the next day she didn't say a word to me during the whole trip and I always had the feeling that she didn't like my presence.

On the third night, I had an assignment due at midnight, so I had to do it. However, I still turned off all the lights, and I tried to finish my work quickly so she could sleep (my laptop’s brightness was 0%). I had trouble sleeping after finishing my homework, so I watched a movie on my phone but turned off the sound completely and read the subtitles. Then around 2am-3am I went to the washroom and that's it.

I thought everything was normal, but then tonight, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie in my room when his mother called him out to talk, and he told me later that his sister was complaining I left the light on until 2 AM last night and she couldn't sleep so she was upset, then because of that my boyfriend’s parents were upset at him. That’s not true and I tried to explain the situation, but he told me his mother said, if I want to do homework, why don't I go to the kitchen?

Tbh, if you don't say it, how can people read your mind? And the thing is that from beginning to end I didn't hear a single word being said directly to me, it was all through my boyfriend, and his little sister was always cold towards me. I admit that I was wrong, but I also deserve a straightforward feedback or just a simple "Can you turn off the light?" instead of just an underline unsatisfactory attitude like that. AITA here?

Admiral Joeslop posted:

Would I be the AH if I paid off half our mortgage with inheritance money but still made my spouse pay what they've been paying, and put the extra in my personal account?

Imagine what investing that $1200 a month into NFTs and AI could do!

AKA Pseudonym posted:

AITA for sleeping with night lights?

Zorak of Michigan posted:

I can't help but look at this situation and wonder why he feels like he needs to pocket $1200/mo instead of being happy with the $600/mo. Absent other context, it feels like greed is just wrecking this dude right now.

My recollection is that if two people are on a mortgage, the responsibility for the payments is joint. You can't write it in such a way that one person is responsible for the payments and the other person owns all the equity. I guess you might be able to write some external contract as part of the refi that says "if wife defaults on mortgage, all remaining equity in the house gets divided up by this formula" but good grief, my guy, you are building a mountain of tension in your marriage just to keep money out of the pocket of someone who you, in theory, love. Just assume that Dad wants you both to be richer and enjoy your $600/mo savings.

Admiral Joeslop posted:

Would I be the AH if I paid off half our mortgage with inheritance money but still made my spouse pay what they've been paying, and put the extra in my personal account?

Imagine what investing that $1200 a month into NFTs and AI could do!

quote:

I 25f, grew up in a pretty strict Asian household where academics were everything. I have 2 BSc degrees and a masters all from the most prestigious colleges. The only activity I was allowed as a kid were piano and fencing since they would look good on college application.

So when I met my ex through mutuals, it was like a whole new world for me.

He was soo much fun, an extrovert who let his intrusive thoughts win kind of guy. Being with him was an escape from reality to me. We would always try and explore different places, activies, food, and so on. To conclude he was the complete opposite was me which I was attracted to.

After a year of dating he asked me to marry him during a surprise engagement party where he invited around 50 people(all his friends). Well in the heat of the moment and everyone shouting I said yes.

When I recollected and organized my thoughts about how I feel about living with him I just couldn't imagine it

I work at a MNC and have a high paying job, which in return causes a lot of pressure and work stress. When I try to talk to him about my day and work he is always soo disinterested and thinks I am boasting about my job.

A random instance I remember is when I was talking about the gas prices increasing because of Ukraine, to which he followed up asking WHO is Ukraine.

I like having conversations about current events, politics or even a book I just finished reading, but he has absolutely no intrest or even tries to gain knowledge about anything.

I also realized we never really had any real conversation, except for gossiping about people I suppose.

Well, I told my fiance about how I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone I can't hold normal conversations with. We broke up, it was pretty peaceful.

Or so I thought, the next day he brought all his friends to trash my place, curse at me, saying I always looked down on him, and that I am an rear end in a top hat for leaving him because I think he is dumb. So am I ?

mystes posted:

I imagine that the OP is just looking at it like this:
"It's money I'm receiving and we have separate bank accounts, so if there was no restriction on how it's used, it would go into my account and not be split. However, because of the stipulation that it be applied to the mortgage, I have to pay off half the mortgage. Therefore, since it's "my money" I will have paid off my half of the mortgage, and my spouse should continue paying off their half"

Again, I'm not saying this is a good way to handle money in a marriage, but if you're already handling money that way for some bizarre reason and it's important that they both pay exactly half of everything, maybe it kind of makes sense?

But if they're arguing about it, presumably the spouse doesn't agree so the OP probably needs to stop being so ridiculous about managing their money separately

Pope Corky the IX posted:

r/relationships: to which he followed up asking WHO is Ukraine.

Moon Slayer posted:

We got another one!

AITA for breaking up with my fiance just because he is dumb ?

oh jay posted:

WHY is Ukraine?

Moon Slayer posted:

We got another one!

AITA for breaking up with my fiance just because he is dumb ?