Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

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Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Explosionface posted:

I want a Souls game that uses the oversized BAR as a melee weapon. Requires 60 strength to wield.

I'm pretty sure the guy who made the Cursed Halo mod made a Dark Souls mod for that

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:30

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:41

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

Moon Slayer posted:

Bring back the practice of having a giant display gun made to teach soldiers what each part does, I say.

Also handy for punishment if a fuckup forgets their rifle.

Explosionface posted:

I want a Souls game that uses the oversized BAR as a melee weapon. Requires 60 strength to wield.

I worked on a game that had a Mosin Nagant as a melee weapon. Not thrust with a bayonet, mind you - held by the barrel and used like a club.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:33

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Kith posted:

Also handy for punishment if a fuckup forgets their rifle.

that was the first thing i thought of, step step dips with the big gun

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:35

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Explosionface posted:

I want a Souls game that uses the oversized BAR as a melee weapon. Requires 60 strength to wield.

That's just a heavy bolter.

# ? Feb 20, 2024 16:38

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Moon Slayer posted:

Bring back the practice of having a giant display gun made to teach soldiers what each part does, I say.

30 rounds. 300 pounds

# ? Feb 20, 2024 17:06

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

TehRedWheelbarrow posted:

that was the first thing i thought of, step step dips with the big gun

Only time I've seen them in use it wasn't for any particular smoking session, it was "Oh you done hosed up. This is now an accountable item for you for a week, and I'm letting every other NCO know about it to check in on you whenever they feel like it."

# ? Feb 20, 2024 17:41

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Wait, they actually really still make those? It isn't just a thing from the '40s?

# ? Feb 20, 2024 18:12

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Well this guy's never seeing the light of day ever again.

Navy chief charged with espionage

quote:

A Navy chief is facing espionage and other criminal charges over allegations that he delivered classified information to a foreign contact in 2022 and 2023.

Chief Fire Controlman (Aegis) Bryce Steven Pedicini faces eight espionage charge specifications for alleged crimes that occurred between November 2022 and May, according to a copy of his charge sheet obtained by Navy Times.

Pedicini is the first sailor to be charged with espionage in at least the past five years, according to the Navy’s Office of the Judge Advocate General

Currently assigned to the Japan-based destroyer Higgins, Pedicini has been held in pre-trial confinement since May, according to Navy records.

He could not be reached for comment, and the Navy’s defense attorney office did not respond to a Navy Times request for comment from his appointed attorney.

Pedicini is accused of delivering a classified national defense document to “a citizen and employee of a foreign government” on Nov. 22, 2022, in Hampton Roads, Virginia, and that the chief had “reason to believe that it would be used to the injury of the United States and the advantage of a foreign nation,” his charge sheet states.

The charge sheet does not state which foreign nation Pedicini allegedly worked with.

But the chief is also accused of delivering similar classified information to a foreign contact seven other times, with the most recent alleged occurrence taking place on May 17 in Yokosuka, Japan.

Two days later, on May 19, Pedicini was placed in pre-trial confinement, according to his charge sheet.

Pedicini is also accused of wrongly transporting information he believed to be classified, and for processing material he believed to be classified “on a system that was not approved for classified material” in May in Yokosuka, his charge sheet states.

Prosecutors also allege he failed to report a foreign contact in Yokosuka in April, and that he failed “to report solicitation of classified information by an unauthorized person.”

Pedicini is also accused of taking a personal electronic device into a secure room aboard Barge APL-67 in Yokosuka in May, according to his charge sheet.

He also faces multiple charge specifications for communicating defense information to foreign contacts from December 2022 to May in Hampton Roads.

Naval Surface Forces declined further comment on the ongoing case.

Pedicini had a motions hearing scheduled for Wednesday of this week, and officials have not said when his trial is scheduled to begin.

Charges were brought against the chief in January, and the head of Naval Surface Forces, Vice Adm. Brendan McLane, is the convening authority in the case.

A Tennessee native, Pedicini enlisted in 2008 and advanced to chief in 2022, according to his service record.

He reported to Higgins in April and was also assigned to the Mid-Atlantic Regional Maintenance Center in Norfolk, Virginia, during the time of his alleged crimes.

Pedicini also served aboard the destroyers Curtis Wilbur and McFaul earlier his career.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 01:13

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

Any guesses on how much he got? Above or below a chevy tahoe?

# ? Feb 22, 2024 01:43

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

I'm more curious which country.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 01:46

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

With his last name I'm going to guess Italy.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 01:55

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

I'm just shocked it wasn't war thunder forms this time

# ? Feb 22, 2024 02:04

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

CainFortea posted:

I'm just shocked it wasn't war thunder forms this time

# ? Feb 22, 2024 03:30

Jimmy Smuts: Aug 8, 2000

3 hots and a cot, for a very long time.
Oh wait, Ft. Leavenworth, so probably not even that.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 04:35

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Kith posted:

Also handy for punishment if a fuckup forgets their rifle.

I worked on a game that had a Mosin Nagant as a melee weapon. Not thrust with a bayonet, mind you - held by the barrel and used like a club.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 18:12

Discussion Quorum: Dec 5, 2002; Armchair Philistine

CainFortea posted:

I'm just shocked it wasn't war thunder forms this time

Don't exhale just yet, what's his World of Warships forum name?

# ? Feb 22, 2024 19:26

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Here's something a little bit different, but which I think people might find interesting. After he moved into a retirement community in the late 2000's, my grandpa took and then taught a writing class. Doing so inspired him to sit down and write a bunch of anecdotes from his life, including his military service. So, this is what it was like to enlist in the Navy in 1943.

Some comments/context:

lol that MEPS is basically unchanged in 70 years.
whatever "good handwriting" gene exists in the family, I did not get it

If this is something people want more of, I'll wait a day or so and then can post part 2: Grandpa Goes to Radio School.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:31

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Moon Slayer posted:

Here's something a little bit different, but which I think people might find interesting. After he moved into a retirement community in the late 2000's, my grandpa took and then taught a writing class. Doing so inspired him to sit down and write a bunch of anecdotes from his life, including his military service. So, this is what it was like to enlist in the Navy in 1943.

Some comments/context:

lol that MEPS is basically unchanged in 70 years.

whatever "good handwriting" gene exists in the family, I did not get it

If this is something people want more of, I'll wait a day or so and then can post part 2: Grandpa Goes to Radio School.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:43

Hyperlynx: Sep 13, 2015

I really liked it. You should start your own thread for it and then :justpost:

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:44

Nystral: Feb 6, 2002; Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:47

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Heh, he thought there wasn't cursing in thr military.

What's an anglo saxon curse word?

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:49

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

All of them.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:58

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

My Vietnam veteran uncle was an armor officer and he hates the movie Fury because according to him the greatest generation didn't swear that much.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:01

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Flikken posted:

What's an anglo saxon curse word?

Saying poo poo instead of feces.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:07

stealie72: Jan 10, 2007

Mustang posted:

My Vietnam veteran uncle was an armor officer and he hates the movie Fury because according to him the greatest generation didn't swear that much.

He never went fishing with my grandpa...

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:13

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

Hell yeah, more storytime

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:36

Fearless: Sep 3, 2003; DRINK MORE MOXIE

Mustang posted:

My Vietnam veteran uncle was an armor officer and he hates the movie Fury because according to him the greatest generation didn't swear that much.

I believe he may have been mistaken.

Source: the unbelievably foul vocabulary of several great uncles and a grandfather.

E: and a great aunt who was active with the Dutch resistance and kept a Sten gun after the war "in case those rotten bastard Germans ever come back."

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:58

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Moon Slayer posted:

Here's something a little bit different, but which I think people might find interesting. After he moved into a retirement community in the late 2000's, my grandpa took and then taught a writing class. Doing so inspired him to sit down and write a bunch of anecdotes from his life, including his military service. So, this is what it was like to enlist in the Navy in 1943.

Some comments/context:

lol that MEPS is basically unchanged in 70 years.

whatever "good handwriting" gene exists in the family, I did not get it

If this is something people want more of, I'll wait a day or so and then can post part 2: Grandpa Goes to Radio School.

Absolutely, yes.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 05:07

Pikehead: Dec 3, 2006; Looking for WMDs, PM if you have A+ grade stuff; Fun Shoe

Yes, very much do :justpost:

Turns out volunteering has a one in a million chance of actually being useful i.e. first in line for food.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 11:01

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Fearless posted:

E: and a great aunt who was active with the Dutch resistance and kept a Sten gun after the war "in case those rotten bastard Germans ever come back."

Fair

# ? Feb 23, 2024 13:12

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

please make that its own thread, that loving rules

also:

https://i.imgur.io/gqBa8o5.mp4

# ? Feb 23, 2024 15:56

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Kith posted:

please make that its own thread, that loving rules

also:

https://i.imgur.io/gqBa8o5.mp4

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:59

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Hyperlynx posted:

I really liked it. You should start your own thread for it and then

Kith posted:

please make that its own thread, that loving rules

Sure thing! Part two is there.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 17:10

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

# ? Feb 23, 2024 22:45

Wibla: Feb 16, 2011

Goddamn, lol.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 23:03

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Kith posted:

please make that its own thread, that loving rules

also:

https://i.imgur.io/gqBa8o5.mp4

I personally knew this dude lmao every time.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:09

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Wasabi the J posted:

I personally knew this dude lmao every time.

Blue shirt's face is just priceless.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 21:11

fresh_cheese: Jul 2, 2014; MY KPI IS HOW MANY VP NUTS I SUCK IN A FISCAL YEAR AND MY LAST THREE OFFICE CHAIRS COMMITTED SUICIDE

You know the idiot or blue shirt?

If idiot: we know they are stupid but is that the stupidest theyve been?

If blue: why didnt he immediately leave the presence of lethal idiocy?

# ? Feb 28, 2024 12:36

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

A story from the TFR chat thread that belongs here:

quote:

In other news, my friend continues to have bizarre things happen to himself and his family.

This time it was his father, who was walking in a crosswalk and got clipped by a distinctive bright yellow sports car as it accelerated out of a dead-end street. He got a nasty gash on his dominant hand and required 36 stitches and may need physical therapy. He saw a man driving and a woman in the passenger seat.

To occupy himself while his dad was in the hospital my friend looked online and found images of the same model bright yellow sports car sitting in a driveway on that dead-end street, looked up the property records, and contacted the owner. The owner relayed that he was renting the property to a Marine and his girlfriend. My friend passed this information to the police department, who conveniently are right down the street from the alleged perpetrators' house.

Either the property owner or the police must have alerted them, because later that night they turned themselves in. Allegedly they had a lawyer present.

First they claimed that it had been the woman driving. This story quickly fell apart because the dad had clearly seen the man driving. The reason for this lie quickly became apparent because the Marine had a rap sheet and a suspended license.

Next he tried to claim that the victim had been trying to be hit, extending out an arm as he accelerated towards him (y'know, sticking an arm like "holy poo poo that car is flying towards me please stop")

Later, he admitted that he'd been trying to scare the pedestrian.

You see why I said "allegedly had a lawyer present" because I cannot fathom any law professional allowing their client to so thoroughly gently caress themselves with their own testimony.

Anyway, they get charged with felonious assault, fleeing the scene, failing to render aid, failing to yield, and driving on a suspended license. They're booked and charged, and my friend shares the mugshots where we learn big-brained Marine is 24, so we guess he's just got done with his 6 year tour (because there's no other reason for him to be in this area.)

Nope! Turns out he's a recruit, and was due to ship out in two weeks! And if the dozen-odd Marines I'm friends with have taught me anything, it's that they love boots and poolies calling themselves "Marine". Also turns out the police chief is also a Marine, and had insinuated that he'd be making a call to his friends in Le Jeune to let fuckface's drill sergeant know they'd have a Marine in boot camp.

That's assuming they don't just drop his rear end, because as I understand it poolies (have signed on the dotted line but haven't shipped out yet) can have their contracts amended for poo poo like this. Also the USMC has been meeting their recruitment quotas, so they're not going to bend over backwards for this guy.

Speculation on my part, but I'm hoping galaxy-brain here spent his enlistment bonus getting that car. It certainly fits the pattern of stupid new recruits.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=4053328&perpage=40&pagenumber=22#post538051950

# ? Feb 28, 2024 15:34

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# ? May 16, 2024 12:41

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

pantslesswithwolves posted:

A story from the TFR chat thread that belongs here:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=4053328&perpage=40&pagenumber=22#post538051950

A Marine

# ? Feb 28, 2024 21:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Idiots Thread - From the Balls of Montezuma

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