r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

BrideOfUglycat: Oct 30, 2000

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

WIBTA For calling the police on my neighbor for noise?

This is eerily similar to an incident in our first apartment. We ended up calling the police on the guy we shared a wall with because there was so much shouting and pounding around that we were pretty sure it was a case of domestic violence. The cops showed up, and the first thing they said was: "You must be new here." Apparently, our neighbor had regularly had the police called on him because of this behavior. And it was because he believed the FBI was controlling his TV and VCR from inside the walls. The pounding was him trying to get them out. My husband and I bonded with the nice Goth couple who lived below him over trying to deal with the noise and the literal insanity that no agency seemed to do anything about. That all stopped the night he was forcibly removed and committed because he stopped just pounding on his walls and had started pounding on Goth couple's door and accusing them of hiding his family.

Elfface posted:

I do wonder what was going on, not only that they're not allowed to travel without written permission (I'd understand if it was a permanent move, but a brief holiday?) , but that the guy's ex wouldn't give it. Like, who's family is gonna try and kidnap these kids?

This is actually quite standard in divorce decrees. In the early 2000's, it was boiler plate wording on the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines which was the basic parenting time set out by the state to all child custody cases.

BrideOfUglycat fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Feb 26, 2024

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:14

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:03

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Imagine having a family with enough money that it mattered.

Or few enough people to share it with. I'm getting 1/6 of a pittance.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:15

Tijuana-A-Go-Go: Aug 2, 2019; Doggles Aficionado

My parents are poor as poo poo so the only thing they'll leave me is more debt

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:23

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

My parents are poor as poo poo so the only thing they'll leave me is more debt

I assuming you're joking but debt is not inheritable and there's an entire industry that tries to convince people otherwise.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:28

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

AITA for telling my husband's friend to mind her own business when she commented on our married life?

quote:

So me(30f) and my husband josh(32M) have been married for 6 years now and have a 4yo daughter and 9mo son. My husband has a childhood friend amy(fake name). Amy and I are mostly civil but she often comments on various things, especially if i am doing something. My husband is an introvert person and does not have many close friends so i never really say anything.

We hosted dinner a few days ago and invited amy as well. They were drinking as well, and while drunk amy said how she could not believe josh already have 2 kids when they all r single, even tho josh used to tell them how he never wanted to marry before 30. Things got a bit awkward but she went on to say how i wasn't even his type and still we got married. At this point i was angry but josh calmed me down saying she is just drunk.

After my son started crying so i went to feed him formula. Thing is, due to some complications i wasn't able to produce milk for my son. When amy saw it, she said "if i was a mom i would never feed my baby some formula. Its kinda crazy how u all r okay with feeding such things to ur baby."

I really lost it and told her to shut up and mind her own business, that this was my house, my husband and my baby, and she is no way eligible to talk about someone else's married life when she couldn't even keep a man in her life, and is now living alone with her cats. Upon hearing all that amy started crying and soon left. Everybody left soon after. My husband says it was okay for me to be angry but it was a bit harsh for me to say all that since everyone knew amy was struggling with her mental health. I have got text from few of her friends cursing me and asking me to apologise to her.

I have since blocked them all and tbh i don't want to apologise. It wasn't the first time she said something inappropriate. It was the final straw and i couldn't take it anymore. She is apparently in a bad mental state since she was cheated on by her fiance of many years in the past so i really don't know. I have started to feel bad and guilty and maybe i was over the line.

TLDR- Told husband's friend to mind her own business when she commented on my married life.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:29

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

The saddest thing is when a whole family just destroys their entire relationship with each over over tiny inheritances in the low thousands. People fighting eachother like a kingdom or business empire is at stake but it's just mee maw's $800 crystal collection.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:33

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Baronjutter posted:

The saddest thing is when a whole family just destroys their entire relationship with each over over tiny inheritances in the low thousands. People fighting eachother like a kingdom or business empire is at stake but it's just mee maw's $800 crystal collection.

Those crystals are COLLECTOR'S ITEMS and will be worth a fortune in a couple of decades!

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:38

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

BrigadierSensible posted:

This bloke "Chris" seems like an enormous thin skinned arsehole

He went "hey, introduce me to some women." Which is reasonable. OP has him at a party/get together where there are single women. Bing Bang Boom. She has fulfilled her obligations.

Nah. This should have stopped at "It's not my responsibility to get you laid, Chris." In support of my argument, I cite everything Chris did before the party and everything Chris did after the party.

CommissarMega posted:

Anyone have that story where a woman's stupid boyfriend and sister(I think?) tried this exact same thing with her dad and ended up assaulted for their "BUT FAAAMBLY!" thinking? IIRC they were trying to sue OP for not telling them of the danger her dad posed despite the OP doing exactly that.

Yeah, I remember it too, but no idea how to find it. There was another similar one where the boyfriend's father was a minister, and convinced that he could fix the bride's insane abusive mother with good intentions and prayer, which also ended in assault. Actually, I think that one was shared by a goon.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 17:39

SpaceViking: Sep 2, 2011; Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

CommissarMega posted:

Anyone have that story where a woman's stupid boyfriend and sister(I think?) tried this exact same thing with her dad and ended up assaulted for their "BUT FAAAMBLY!" thinking? IIRC they were trying to sue OP for not telling them of the danger her dad posed despite the OP doing exactly that.

Found them, reposting here. It's a full saga:

AITA for not telling my friend and boyfriend my real name or birthday?

quote:

My bio family suck. Like... just awful, awful people. I got away as soon as I could, which was when I was 16. They wouldn't leave me alone, even after I moved out, so at 18 I changed my name. It was a totally new first, middle and last name, not even vaguely similar to my original name. My family also made me hate my birthday, so I mentally decided that I would use the date on my name change certificate as my birthday, even though it's a couple of weeks after, and I still have to use my real one on forms.

I turned 22 today. For real, not my fake birthday. No one knew except for my bio family, who I haven't spoken to in 6 years. My parents sent me a birthday message over social media and they started it with "happy birthday [my old first name]" along with a long guilt trip about how it's been years since they've heard from me and how much they miss me. I don't know how they found me.

My boyfriend passed me the phone when their message came through, and caught the beginning of the message (so the "happy birthday [my old first name]"). He then asked why a woman who looks like an older version of me was messaging me saying happy birthday to a name he didn't recognise 2 weeks before what he knows to be my birthday. I then admitted that I changed my name and use a fake birthday.

He asked what my old full name was, as he only got part of the first name on the message preview, and I said it doesn't matter because it's not my name now. He said he was curious, and I said it didn't matter and I wanted to drop it. My best friend is also his sister and they live together and I was at their place, so he got her in on it, too. They're now nagging me to tell them my "real" name. However, they both know some details about my childhood and I told them it's to do with my family, but I don't want to give them my full "real" name or acknowledge my "real" birthday. They then began jokingly listing names that my old name could have been, ranging from serious and based off what my boyfriend saw in the preview (the first few letters) to joke names. I then left and went home.

It's been about 12 hours since I left and they're still calling/texting me and they're really mad that I "stormed out" and won't talk to them about this or give them my real name. They're also saying it's been 4 years and I'm just being stupid, that it was one thing to not want to do anything on my birthday but to give them a fake birthday was ridiculous and I shouldn't be hiding my "real" name from them, and they're both really mad that I won't tell them.

AITA?

Update: they contacted my parents to find out the name. We're done.

My (22f) ex (24m) and his sister (22f) are being harassed by my parents. Do I help them?

quote:

My parents were extremely abusive. The nicest thing they ever did for me was letting me move out at 16, and even then they only agreed under duress. However, they were still harassing me, so at 18 I changed my name and moved as far away from my hometown as I could. They also made my birthday, which was the 4th, genuinely traumatic, to such an extent that on 4th October each year I have a therapy appointment and that's basically all I am capable of doing on that day. When I turned 19 I said I didn't want a party, but my friend at the time decided I didn't really mean that and threw me a surprise party, so from then on I told people that the date on my name change certificate, the 20th, was my birthday, even though I still have to use the 4th on formal documents. I know lying about my birthday is weird, but after the surprise party I didn't want to risk it.

Shortly after my 19th, I met "Jack" and "Jill", who were siblings and roommates. Jill and I were friends first, then through her I met Jack, and Jack and I began dating 6 months ago. They weren't involved in the party so I was able to tell them my birthday was the 20th, and hid the real date. I told them about 80% of the abuse I went through growing up, however they had a good home life with loving parents and I could see them struggling to comprehend the reality of what I was saying, so I held off on telling them the worst bits until I was sure they'd believe me, and never told them my real name/birthday.

On the 4th, mum messaged me. She should not have been able to do this, as I completely restarted my social media with my new name and fake birthday, and blocked all my relatives, so she's made an account just for this. She sent "happy birthday [old name]!" along with a lengthy message full of her typical bullshit about how it's been years since she heard from me written as if she has no idea why that is. Jack saw the start of the message and began demanding answers that I said wasn't ready to give, and asked if we could drop it. He got Jill in on it, and they both kept asking questions, so I left. By the next day, I found out that they had contacted my mother to get her side of the story, and they criticised me for removing my parents from my life and said I should give them another chance.

I then broke up with Jack and told Jill we weren't friends any more. It's been about a week, and my parents have been harassing Jack and Jill this whole time, demanding my contact info and address. Good news is, I moved at the start of September, and they've not been to my new place yet, so they can't give my address as they genuinely don't know it, and I've blocked them all (Jack, Jill, parents) on social media.

I don't know what to do. I kind of feel like they brought this on themselves to be honest and if I step in then I'd be opening the door to my parents, even if it's just a crack. Jack and Jill have been messaging our mutual friends about it, saying I've left them in the lurch, which I kind of have, and they want me to fix this by speaking to my parents, who say that if we can just have a conversation then they'll leave us all alone.

What do I do? Should I talk to mum and dad to get rid of them? Or just leave Jack and Jill to fend for themselves?

My (22f) dad (50s) just beat up my ex boyfriend (24). He wants me to come see him. What do I do?

quote:

(Note: "he" is the ex, not the father.)
In the interest of full disclosure, I did post about this on another sub a couple weeks ago, and I really hoped that I was done needing advice on this, but here I am.

My birth family suck. Parents were very abusive, and the only good thing they ever did for me was let me move out at 16, which they only agreed to because I blackmailed them, and they harassed me until I was 18, at which point I changed my name, deactivated all my social media, and moved away and they finally left me alone.

I have a friend, "Jill" (22f) who I've known for about 3 years, and through her I met her brother, "Jack", who I dated for about 6 months and broke up with nearly 3 weeks ago. We broke up because they contacted my parents. I had told Jack and Jill about 80% of the abuse I went through growing up, and they had a hard time believing it because their family life is healthy, and they'd even made a couple comments about me reaching out to my birth family, so I decided to hold off on telling them the rest, including my real name.

My mother messaged me on my birthday, which she should not have been able to do, and through her message, Jack and Jill found out my real name, and reached out to my parents.

I went no contact with Jack and Jill, and decided to put all of this behind me and move on with my life. Luckily, I had recently moved so Jack and Jill don't have my address, but my workplace got a call today from Jill. She went through the actual official work line and gave the admin a message to give to me. The message said that Jack was in hospital after being assaulted. I panicked and called Jill and she said that Jack gave my parents their address so they could meet. When I wasn't there, dad got aggressive, asking Jack where they could find me. Jack said he didn't know my address, dad didn't believe him, and dad hit Jack. According to Jill, dad managed to break Jack's nose and give him 2 black eyes, and a shove that knocked him on his arse. The shove caused a large, deep, cut along Jack's arm as he fell into a table. Jill sent me an image of Jack's hosed up face, and it looks legit. I know from personal experience that even though he'd be early 50s by now, dad is capable of causing that kind of damage.

Jack is back at his place. Jack says he intends to press charges. Jill has asked that I come see Jack and her (they live together). She says that they want to talk, they deserve an explanation, and that they need help as my parents are harassing them, now.

I don't know what to do. I've restarted my social media again and I've not given my address to anyone, so I'm as safe as I can be in current circumstances. I live in a pretty densely populated area so they've very unlikely to find me based solely on my town, and my work and school are aware of my parents, so that won't be an issue.

But here's the thing. I still love Jack. He was my first real relationship and I'm not over him yet. And Jill was basically my best friend for like 3 years. I can't trust them again. I know that, and I know that without trust, I can't have a relationship with either of them. But they don't deserve to be beaten, harassed, and stalked by my psycho parents.

I feel I should help them. And I want to see Jack, check in on him, make sure he's alright. If something happened to either of them I would feel really terrible. But I just don't know if it's worth the risk.

Should I go see and help them? Or is that really stupid? Should I talk to my parents, not to re-establish a relationship but to get them to go away? Or is that even stupider?

TL;DR: Ex and his sister contacted my abusive parents, who have now beaten the gently caress out of my ex because he didn't know my address. Ex and sister want to see me. Is seeing them a good idea?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 18:01

hydroceramics: Jan 8, 2014

SpaceViking posted:

Found them, reposting here. It's a full saga:

AITA for not telling my friend and boyfriend my real name or birthday?

My (22f) ex (24m) and his sister (22f) are being harassed by my parents. Do I help them?

My (22f) dad (50s) just beat up my ex boyfriend (24). He wants me to come see him. What do I do?

The meet up is definitely to sacrifice her to her parents and save themselves. Hooray/too bad there aren't any further updates. Hopefully it means she got out ok and is laying low.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 18:27

mystes: May 31, 2006

Now she probably has two sets of insane stalkers, unfortunately

# ? Feb 26, 2024 18:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Nom nom delicious hand

AITA for refusing to pay rent when I am living at my daughters place for a month

quote:

My daughter (Kelly) is having her first baby. Sadly the husband isn�t able to get any time off to help when the baby is born. Kelly has expressed that it feels like she will be a single mom since her husband will be traveling while she is on maternity leave. He will be home sometime, but for the most part Kelly is on her own for the first month.

She asked if I would be willing to help. I live 5 hours away and I informed her I will have to stay over, and traveling that much is a lot. She said I could stay for a month at the home and help out. I agreed.

The baby is due in a few weeks, I was informed today that I will need to pay rent since I am living in the home for a month. I told her I am not doing that. I am already doing her a huge favor and I am not paying money on top of it. This resulted in argument. She thinks I am being a dick for not helping with the bills and I think she is being unreasonable.

I am expressed I will not be staying over now, and she is on her own. She thinks i am being a petty jerk for this also.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:03

DangerDongs: Nov 7, 2010; Grimey Drawer

FMguru posted:

Nom nom delicious hand

AITA for refusing to pay rent when I am living at my daughters place for a month

Well, have fun with your new baby lady. You could have had a baby sitter for the price of food and an unused room.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:06

mystes: May 31, 2006

when you hire an au pair they pay you rather than the other way around, right?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:14

Irisi: Feb 18, 2009

FMguru posted:

Nom nom delicious hand

AITA for refusing to pay rent when I am living at my daughters place for a month

Absolutely hilarious, if you are expected to pay rent then you should reasonably be expected to be paid wages in return.

Just for info, night nannies here in the UK run anywhere between �270-�350 per 10 hour night shift, and this lady was offering to do chores during the day too. Good lord, talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:24

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

DangerDongs posted:

Well, have fun with your new baby lady. You could have had a baby sitter for the price of food and an unused room.

The market Has spoken: she can't just start giving out rooms for free, or the rents are gonna go down! We haven't even discussed the security deposit situation.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Baronjutter posted:

The saddest thing is when a whole family just destroys their entire relationship with each over over tiny inheritances in the low thousands. People fighting eachother like a kingdom or business empire is at stake but it's just mee maw's $800 crystal collection.

People will burn down everything they could have inherited rather than just split it in a reasonable way, too. Saw it all the time in a surveyor's office. They'd rather split land into unsellable slivers than sell it and split the profits because the land sliver itself was owed to them.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:41

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Midnight Voyager posted:

People will burn down everything they could have inherited rather than just split it in a reasonable way, too. Saw it all the time in a surveyor's office. They'd rather split land into unsellable slivers than sell it and split the profits because the land sliver itself was owed to them.

It's mentioned in the legal advice thread too, people get insane over property ownership and want everything split into equal shares, not realizing the share then has literally no value because it cannot be sold independently of the others.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 19:51

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Probate is one of those legal things that's like being a homicide detective; people have very fanciful ideas of what it means because they've only seen it on TV.

Thing is, it's very unlikely that your uncle Steve will find himself appointed a homicide detective and have to deal with his entire extended family telling him to do blood spatter analysis and beat up informants until he solves the case.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:00

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

EightDeer posted:

I tried to help my girlfriend's estranged brother and it was a mistake. I don't know what to do now honestly

lmao get in the JAIL busybody bitch

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:01

Thumbtacks: Apr 3, 2013

EightDeer posted:

I tried to help my girlfriend's estranged brother and it was a mistake. I don't know what to do now honestly

Lmao this rules

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:11

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

FMguru posted:

A junkie says what?

AITA for calling my step mom "druggie" because she won't stop using a nickname she gave me as a baby?

She probably left the ceremony because she needed to score, LOL.

Rocks, nuclear weapons, etc. Feels good to read.

quote:

Dear Care and Feeding,

After we put the kids (1F and 2M) to bed the other night, my husband asked me if there was a default parent in our relationship. I asked why, and he said someone at work had brought it up at lunch because their wife had been yelling at them the night before about how she was tired of being the default parent and wanted things to change. I told my husband that yes, we do have a default parent and it�s me. He asked what that meant for me, and I said I�d ask him a list of questions to give him an idea. I asked him if he�s ever thought about needing to buy diapers, wipes, diaper cream, or any medication our kids ever need or if there�s just always more of each in the spot it�s kept; if he�s ever needed to switch the clothes in the kids� dresser because they�re not the right size and season or if he can just reach in and grab something because it�s right; if he�s ever looked through their wardrobe for a season and determined what is missing and needs to be purchased, then bought it; if he has the phone number for the desk at the doctor�s office instead of the answering service and knows which receptionist to ask for when you need a last-minute day-of appointment; if daycare had ever called him first even though we listed his number first; if the kids come to him when they want a pouch opened or if they�ll walk past him to find and ask me; and if he has ever automatically assumed he needed to get up when one of them woke up at night or if he waited to see if I was doing it yet.

He told me he just assumed I didn�t mind taking care of most of that stuff because I�d never said anything and that he�d take some of that on if I just told him what I didn�t want to do. I thanked him for being more aware of it and told him he could take on keeping us stocked with all diaper change supplies and medicines. He asked me what size diaper each is in, which store I usually buy them from, how often I usually do it, and if there was a certain brand for each medicine because he sometimes noticed the bottles were different. I kind of laughed and told him the fact that he needs to ask all those questions is why I�ve just always taken care of it. It�s easier to do it myself than �teach� him how to do it and then also check and make sure he�s continuing to do it (or maybe find out he isn�t when there suddenly aren�t any more diapers). He got mad and said it sounds like I think all he does is make my life more difficult. I reminded him that he was the one who initiated this conversation and wanted to know the reality of being the default parent, that I have never once complained about any of this, and that I was calm the whole time we talked about it. He was the one getting upset. And that if he was upset at hearing this, he had complete control over changing it.

It�s been a few days and he�s been pretty quiet, but he did come home from work yesterday with diapers and wipes in the correct size for each of our kids and said he has a reminder in his phone for every two weeks for more. Should I specifically talk to him about this more, or let him adjust to figuring out that our realities of parenting are so different?

�I Kind of Thought He Knew Already

quote:
Dear Thought He Knew,

Bravo! I want to save this letter, because it is a great example�on both your parts�of how to deal with this really loaded situation. He was curious and asked for your thoughts; you gave concrete examples that he could understand and that were not about his actions; he asked how to help; you explained that burden; and he actually followed through and did the thing! I�m not even disappointed that he got defensive at the end, because he�s a human being, and he was in a Catch-22 when he asked how he could help, so it�s perfectly understandable. I have no notes, you both earned an A in partnership today!

In terms of your question, you can open the conversation again, but only insofar as to check in. No one really likes being confronted with the notion that they aren�t pulling their weight in the way they thought they were, so you want to be sensitive to that. Give him some time. Maybe bring home his favorite dessert and tell him that you appreciated his curiosity and willingness to listen, as well as his follow-through. See if he wants to talk and reflect about it at all.

If either of you are interested in rebalancing more responsibilities, that�s great, but I wouldn�t use this first conversation to do it. Use this one just to get on the same general page, and talk about the specific tasks in a few days or a week. When you do, you can use a book like Fair Play or similar to help guide you. Good luck!

quote:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I are having a disagreement and need an impartial party to weigh in. When he�s sick, he plants himself on the couch in the living room and spends the day there trying to nap and rest. I ask him if he�s sick enough to not be able to help with child care (which he always claims to be) to please go to a different room that our kids are not located in. They are 1 and 2 and do not understand him being in the room but basically refusing to interact with them. It also makes me angry/annoyed every time I have to walk by him to deal with something kid-related that he can hear/see but is just �too unwell� for. He says he would feel guilty removing himself entirely.

This happens probably once a month. I�ve gotten to the point where I won�t step in to stop the kids from bothering him. Two-year-old wants to climb up on the couch, straddle you, and starting bouncing up and down? Wouldn�t be happening if you were in the guest bedroom on a different floor of the house! My friend weighed in on my side, but he said of course she�d support me, she�s my friend. So, person who knows us in no way: Who�s right here?

�If You Can�t Help, Go Away

quote:
Dear Go Away,

You are. Listen, I appreciate the value of a good old couch nap. I�m generally for it, and when I�m sick, I don�t always want to be cooped up in my room. But when you have asked him to leave and he won�t because he says he would feel guilty, what I hear is, �I know my illness is putting a logistical and emotional burden on you, but it�s more important to me that I get to pretend I�m being present than it is to actually be helpful.�

That might be uncharitable�maybe being around the kids does legitimately bring him joy and comfort and he�s lonely in the bedroom. If that�s the case, then you�re handling things just fine. He has made his bed�literally�and must lie in it. But I think no matter what, you can ask for a more in-depth explanation as to why he does this, because right now, he�s kind of just assuming you�ll roll with it, and that�s not cool.

Bottom line: If seeing him on the couch while you work double-time raises your blood pressure, he needs to go elsewhere. And if you don�t care where he is, so long as you don�t have to play referee, that�s fine too. But also tell him to go see a doctor. Getting this run down on a monthly basis is not normal.

quote:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My father-in-law insists on cooking for almost every holiday gathering. He�s very generous. But there�s one problem: He consistently undercooks food and makes it inedible and dangerous to consume. I�ve been served raw hamburger and pink chicken and he�s in shock when I don�t eat it or take it away from my young daughter, insisting that it�s done! My partner thinks I�m overreacting, but the food is visibly uncooked. Last night I finally vomited and had diarrhea from the raw burger but haven�t told my family yet. How can I tell him kindly and gently that he needs to cook food safely so we can eat it without offending him?

�Tummy Troubles

quote:
Dear Tummy Troubles,

Yikes, you don�t want to mess around with raw food. This is a hard one to definitively advise on because it�s so specific to individual personalities and relationship dynamics. I tend to think stuff like this is best coming from the child of the parents in question�so, in this case, your partner. You literally got sick, so this is no longer something that they can roll their eyes and blow off. They should be able to have a heart-to-heart with their dad, awkward though it might be.

How exactly to approach it can vary, but I think that any opportunity to point to a third party�rather than telling your FIL that he does a poor job cooking�helps. You or your partner can tell him about a neighbor�s daughter who got super sick from undercooked meat, or describe a serious directive about food safety that you received from your pediatrician, etc. Fiction? Maybe, but for an important reason. I also think you can consider swallowing your pride and just saying something self-deprecating like, �I know, I probably sound paranoid, but I am just really a stickler for food temperature, I appreciate you understanding.� You could even buy a fancy meat thermometer that you keep at your FIL�s place and use as food is being plated. Anything for you or your daughter that pings a number you don�t like goes in the microwave. Is this annoying? Yes. Should you have to throw yourself under the bus for something like this? No. But sometimes the ends justify the means.

�Allison

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:15

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

You should grovel before your FIL and kiss his boots in apology for not wanting to poison your daughter and poo poo yourself

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:33

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

hydroceramics posted:

Hopefully it means she got out ok and is laying low.

It's been three years, there's a nonzero chance Daddy dearest has carked it. For OP's sake, I hope he has.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:35

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

EightDeer posted:

I tried to help my girlfriend's estranged brother and it was a mistake. I don't know what to do now honestly

usually this kind of crazy "no you need to give your family another chance" is after marriage not before

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:35

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Lottery of Babylon posted:

You should grovel before your FIL and kiss his boots in apology for not wanting to poison your daughter and poo poo yourself

This is why you don't marry into the gurglespurts family

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:36

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

pentyne posted:

It's mentioned in the legal advice thread too, people get insane over property ownership and want everything split into equal shares, not realizing the share then has literally no value because it cannot be sold independently of the others.

that's not really true, courts will generally just order a partition by sale in cases like this and then split the proceeds

usually a partition in kind like you're talking about, where they split it into slivers, is only done for stuff like farmland where the little slivers are technically still usable for their main purpose and even then I don't think it's favored

I mean yes you're right in that the slivers would have no value but that's why if a party wants it partitioned it's just going to get sold by the court, it's not like it can't be partitioned

# ? Feb 26, 2024 20:50

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

trickybiscuits posted:

AITA for telling my wife it�s her fault that our sons now hate and ignore their sister?

My wife intervened and apparently took Anna�s side. I wasn�t there so I don�t know. My older son Alex intervened on behalf of his brother and told his mom that she is unfair.

My wife doubled down and told them to f_*kc off (again no idea)

When she enters a room, they leave (kitchen for example). It is heartbreaking to watch. My wife tried to mend things and talk to them but she gets aggressively ignored too.

It is my job now to help her the relationship between girls and boys in our home.

Edit 2: my wife will go to therapy with the boys ASAP. The boys agreed to this. My daughter and I will join if the therapist wants it.

Whoa careful there, dude. That's a slippery slope toward having to give a poo poo about your family and what goes on in your house!

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:22

Tijuana-A-Go-Go: Aug 2, 2019; Doggles Aficionado

pentyne posted:

I assuming you're joking but debt is not inheritable and there's an entire industry that tries to convince people otherwise.

Cremating people ain�t cheap and that money�s gotta come from somewhere, certainly not my empty bank account!

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:27

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Mx. posted:

ahhhhh this is making me fantastically angry

e: it's possible i know this guy. small fuckin world

You know someone who secretly hunted down, housed & employed, and subsequently got scammed by his girlfriend�s estranged brother?

:allears:

How�s he doing?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:31

Coucho Marx: Mar 2, 2009; kick back and relax

AceClown posted:

Zoom call from a dying grandpa sounds like a middle of the album Radiohead track that everyone initially hates but turns out to be an actual banger

i opened the laptop and what did i see?
dying grandpa frowns at me

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:34

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

wheatpuppy posted:

What if those trinkets were mint in box?

Would it sweeten the seal if they were mint in box in a go bag?

gently caress beaten on the next page.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:35

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Stefan Prodan posted:

that's not really true, courts will generally just order a partition by sale in cases like this and then split the proceeds

usually a partition in kind like you're talking about, where they split it into slivers, is only done for stuff like farmland where the little slivers are technically still usable for their main purpose and even then I don't think it's favored

I mean yes you're right in that the slivers would have no value but that's why if a party wants it partitioned it's just going to get sold by the court, it's not like it can't be partitioned

I worked for surveyors who had to do this stuff. If all the people involved agree in it, who's bringing it to a court?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:36

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Only if they're mint in box in a go bag buried in the woods

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:36

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

beans, mint in can

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:38

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

for sale, canned beans, never jeopardized

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:40

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

I'm not sure I want to eat minty beans.

Content:

AITA For not telling my (ex) girlfriend that I was breastfed until I was five?

quote:

This is so loving insane. Can't believe I'm even making this post but my brother has basically begged me to.

Anyway, I was with my ex for over two years and it was my brothers birthday on Sat. She asked to come home with me to celebrate. While down here my mom, in pure mom fashion, brought out the baby pictures.

My mom was a camera obsessed mother. Like, I'm glad she didn't have social media. She photographed everything.

She has a "breastfeeding book". Basically just like a personal journal with the occasional photo detailing her breastfeeding journey.

My girlfriend found it and flicked to pne of the pages which was a photo my dad took of my mom nursing me & my brother (aged 3 & newborn). She got instantly uncomfortable and the rest of the evening was weird.

We went up to bed later on and she asked, very seriously, how old I was when she stopped breastfeeding me. I told her - I was five, right around the time I started school. I'd like to reiterate that I do not care and I don't think it hurt me or whatever.

She looked like she was going to vomit. It woul have been comical if I weren't so concerned.

She started talking about trust and respect and asked why I didn't tell her. I told her that I didn't think it was important. She then said it was uncomfortable and made her feel like me and my mom would end up weird and codependent.

I told her she was being dramatic and to go to sleep. At like 3am she decided we were over and left. She can't take the lack of communication or the "cult vibes".

My mom apologised to her in a text the next morning and then my ex blocked her.

We have texted minimally but she just can't get over how "gross" it is. I'm not sure how to feel atm but birthday boy wanted me on aita so here I am lol.

AITA?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:46

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

Midnight Voyager posted:

I worked for surveyors who had to do this stuff. If all the people involved agree in it, who's bringing it to a court?

Oh if everyone agrees I guess you can do whatever you want, I thought they meant like if say four people hold a property as tenants in common and just one of them wants it partitioned, they can legally get it split up and sold no matter what the other ones want to do, if the parties can't come to some agreement as to how to use the property

But yeah I mean if the parties all agree to chop it up in some way that makes no sense then you can certainly do that, but I don't know why someone would agree to that unless it was just empty land where there's at least enough to build a house on or it's farmable or something

My point was just the shares of a property will always have value if the property has value because you can petition to get it split up and sold and you get your % of whatever your designated ownership was. I might have misinterpreted what the person I was replying to meant by "shares" though and they might be saying they same thing as me, that no one is going to chop it up into different parcels because that makes no sense

Stefan Prodan fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Feb 26, 2024

# ? Feb 26, 2024 21:59

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Stefan Prodan posted:

Oh if everyone agrees I guess you can do whatever you want, I thought they meant like if say four people hold a property as tenants in common and just one of them wants it partitioned, they can legally get it split up and sold no matter what the other ones want to do, if the parties can't come to some agreement as to how to use the property

But yeah I mean if the parties all agree to chop it up in some way that makes no sense then you can certainly do that, but I don't know why someone would agree to that unless it was just empty land where there's at least enough to build a house on or it's farmable or something

Because it's THEIR LAND. It happens all the time, everyone wants THEIR PIECE of the parcel. It'll be unsellable, but it's theirs. I guess developers know this is a thing, because if the land sells, it's always one of them snapping up all the pieces at once. But it's such a waste when they could have not had to hire a surveyor to subdivide it first! It drove me crazy.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 22:01

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:03

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

Midnight Voyager posted:

Because it's THEIR LAND. It happens all the time, everyone wants THEIR PIECE of the parcel. It'll be unsellable, but it's theirs. I guess developers know this is a thing, because if the land sells, it's always one of them snapping up all the pieces at once. But it's such a waste when they could have not had to hire a surveyor to subdivide it first! It drove me crazy.

Oh haha they literally just want their little unusable piece of land instead of a % of a sale? That's nuts

# ? Feb 26, 2024 22:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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