r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

He asked the chiropractor and the 2 ENT doctors out because he thinks they would all make better girlfriends.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:05

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:05

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

selec posted:

Guy who wants to exclude five specific people from drinking is the rear end in a top hat. Let�s game this out. First of all:

If this was true, you would either have a dry wedding, or one with booze but no �except for these five people� list

So what he�s got set up now is

-Bartenders who now have to be cops, and aren�t getting paid to do that. They�re paid to serve drinks and maybe card people. Policing OP�s family is not in any bartender�s job description. That�s what security is for, which it sounds like they have.

-So if these people are alcoholics, they will be drinking at this event. Whether that�s having someone else get their drinks for them or bringing their own, no alcoholic is just gonna white knuckle their way through it. It is not within the realm of reasonable expectations that this plan will prevent the potential problem guests from drinking.

-Again, if they are alcoholics, the act of excluding them is going to create as much or more drama when they�re sober, and then even more when they inevitably get drunk (and smug for outsmarting the world�s dumbest plan)

-everybody else is going to remember the rules, and the drama that came from them, more than they would the person being asked to leave or being escorted out if they overdrink.

Your wedding isn�t a kindergarten class. You are going to create a weird loving vibe for everyone with this plan!

bartenders do have to be cops because they can literally get in trouble if they over-serve, especially if that person drives home drunk and crashes, so knowing who not to serve in advance can really help. and the rest of that sounds like the problem of the alcholics, who can always say no to going to the wedding if they think they wont be able to not drink through the event, or would rather be drinking.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:05

mystes: May 31, 2006

John Wick of Dogs posted:

I guess the ENT may be able to detect sleep apnea

I mean unless he's tired all day or something, there's no reason to suspect sleep apnea based on his post. He has to get up really early so he goes to sleep early.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:13

ChairmanMauzer: Dec 30, 2004; It wears a human face.

Shanghaied posted:

And why are you going to ENT specialists of all people lol?

Maybe getting checked for sleep apnea, but I agree there's nothing abnormal about needing 8 - 9 hours of sleep a night.

efb

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:14

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

captainOrbital posted:

yta for the crimes of not using spaces before parentheses, for using spaces BEFORE PERIODS AND COMMAS, various misspellings, "alot," et cetera

GAVEL

I got major ESL vibes, it's possible that YTA here.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:14

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

The way it's written makes it sound like he's falling asleep involuntarily no matter what he tries to avoid it, so maybe he does have a real issue. Or he's doing strenuous labor for all of those 15 hours, I dunno

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:21

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

I didn't read anything in there that suggested that. He says "falling asleep early" but that's her that's thinking that. She wants him to go out and do a ton of stuff after work and he's tired because that's what happens to a human after 15 or so hours. She's a raging rear end in a top hat and he needs to dump her.

Also lol aren't chiropractics basically snake oil?

E: so in short either dump her or get amphetamines to stay unnaturally awake forever. Nothing can go wrong there!

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:27

mystes: May 31, 2006

quote:

Semi night shifts? I work 6:30am-4pm. I don�t see how that�s a night shift in any shape or form. She advocated for me to change to this shift instead of the 9am-6pm I was working. Her literal main issue is that I get home and am tired and falling asleep at 8pm while she�s wide awake until 10-11pm at night. I�m wondering if you misread somewhere. I own my own home, and for a year long relationship I�m not selling it to move closer especially when I�m not done with my renovations. I�m the sole bread-winner in our relationship. She pays for nothing except her bills such as; insurance/phone/and a small rent payment to me that she insisted on. I pay for literally everything else such as; dining, concerts, vehicle repairs, unexpected poo poo and all of my home bills. Monetarily, she has got it beyond easy.

So she's not working and she's unhappy that their his schedule (which he can't control because of work) doesn't match her schedule?

Edit: oh wait
In response to "Does she work?"

quote:

She does, 8am-4pm in person not WFH

I guess he just meant that he's paying for almost everything, not that she wasn't working

mystes fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Apr 4, 2024

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:27

captainOrbital: Jan 23, 2003; Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Modal Auxiliary posted:

I got major ESL vibes, it's possible that YTA here.

Well my first language was Spanish and I don't put spaces before my drat punctuation

ed: I know the french (at least -canadians) do before colons (and semicolons?) but

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:27

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Scathach posted:

Also lol aren't chiropractics basically snake oil?

I can not discuss this without wanting to rage til I sound insane so I will let someone else handle the explanation but yes and here is a dece article about it:

https://theoutline.com/post/1617/chiropractors-are-bullshit

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:29

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

In which a man contemplates staying with the worst human being imaginable: (bolding mine)

I (28m) highly considering ending my 7 year relationship with my (26f) gf. Looking for advice

quote:

I will try and make this one short, so it doesn't get removed this time.

I've been thinking about ending my 7 year relationship for the past year or so. I've been trying to stick through it and get over the problems I have with the relationship, but to no avail.

Some of the problems I've/we've been having is the lack of intimacy, uneven distribution of bills and chores, and I'm not sure if she gas lights and weaponizes incompetence (not too familiar with these terms.)

The sex (I know I am not owed her body and she has every right to say no) started out almost every time we saw each other, maybe once every 2 months. Not to mention head is almost non-existent where as she used to offer and now tells me to go to a massage parlor (never been.) It has also gotten stale. It seems like I'm doing all the work and she just lays there now. I've tried bringing up things to spice the bedroom up, but it gets dismissed and never acted upon. I think what bugs me the most about our sex life is that it is okay for her to say no (mostly because she likes to kiss me and be in my face while im asleep to wake me up even though i have to get up in an hour or 2 for work), but if I do I "don't love her", "don't find her attractive", "cheating."

I am gone from the house at least 12-13 hours everyday for work, while she works from home and only works 8 hours. She does feed the dogs on an almost daily basis, but as far as everything else it is up to me. I've stopped cooking for the most part (she mainly wants to eat highly processed foods and I want to eat healthy, so I accommodated and eat unhealthy and feel like poo poo everyday because of it) and I'm trying to get back into the habit of cleaning the house more (her friend's were living with us and I got tired working 60-70hrs a week to come home and having to clean up after them and do every other chore in the house) because I feel ashamed when she has people come over. I'm the one that will wake up early to do the several loads of laundry, go grocery shopping, do lawn care (including pulling weeds that she said she would take care of), and clean the house.

This leaves me to the financial department. This girl has so many subscriptions and will have anywhere between 2-10 Amazon packages a week. We had agreed to split the bills 50/50 because at the time I wasn't making much more than her and had the only car (I am making payments on.) Here lately it is me paying for all groceries, the water softener system she wanted, couches she wanted, security system, phone bill, on top of my car bill and most times the mortgage. This generally leaves me either negative for the week or just barely enough to scrape by the next week. Which honestly sucks because I have to save money for repairs to my house because of her friend's and her animals (probably looking at close to $20,000 in repairs between flooring, walls, doors, and blinds.) But she has all this money to spend on herself. Now, we split electric and water bills constantly. So, she pays about $145 (water bill being about 45 a person and electricity on the high side of $100 per person) a month while I'm paying close to $2k+ a month (not including the vehicles).

As far as gas lighting and weaponized incompetence I'm not sure where to start mainly because I'm not 100% sure on if what happens is what it is. For instance I was letting her know she was scraping the bottom of the teflon pot with the fork and she would say I'm hearing/imagining things. While she would be the one wearing headphones, which are normally at full volume. Stuff like that, which she does almost daily. She will say something I will repeat back and she will say that I'm hearing things or don't remember correctly, this I think is gaslighting? As for the incompetence, it pretty much stems from doing stuff around the house. Like I've shown her how to change the batteries on the door lock, remove and charge the front doorbell camera, or for the latest one.. removing tape from a string of lights (painters tape). I will show her how or offer to show her and she will either say she doesn't know how to do it the next time it needs to get done or will refuse me showing her how to do something.

I've been giving it time because in the almost 4 years we've been living together we have had several arguments about the stuff above, picking up after herself, and just showering and brushing her teeth more than once a week or less. Things have improved a little on some of it, but not all. For a while I had gotten better at communicating (which is why we had so many arguments), but I stopped expressing what bothers me when she would promise to work more on these things, but would take 2 steps forward and one step back and got tired of feeling like I just constantly complain end being a broken record. I have also been debating with myself and trying to justify staying this past year because I know I have a few resentments that I have been trying to let go. Stuff like giving an ultimatum about either marrying her (less than a year into the relationship) or breaking up, telling me I can't talk to my friends and family about our relationship and can only talk to her family, and then accusing me of being gay and cheating when I talked to someone she considered family. In this year I have been slowly realizing she isn't the person she made herself out to be or continues to tell other people. She is lazy and just like her father. She will do the bare minimum and (what seems) expects me to pick up the rest. There's a lot more stuff I could get into, but some of it I can spend some time and calm down and get over it. I just don't know if this relationship is worth it anymore. I know if I end up splitting from her she will accuse me of wasting her "good years" when I was just trying to make this relationship work. I still love her, but it feels more like a friend and this point because it just feels like we are roommates at this current time. Should I try and fight for and make this relationship work or should I just cut my losses and find someone more compatible and willing to help with everyday stuff rather than pushing it onto me?

TLDR: Thinking of breaking up with a 7 yr relationship with my gf because of a dead bedroom, uneven distribution of bills and chores, gaslighting/weaponized incompetence, and some resentment on my end. Is it worth saving or should I cut ties and find someone more compatible when I am almost 30.

WHAT ARE HER BAD YEARS GOING TO BE LIKE??? :psyduck:

Larry Cum Free fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Apr 4, 2024

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:29

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

haveblue posted:

The way it's written makes it sound like he's falling asleep involuntarily no matter what he tries to avoid it, so maybe he does have a real issue. Or he's doing strenuous labor for all of those 15 hours, I dunno

There's nothing weird about falling asleep at 8-9 if you're getting up at 5 each day? The girlfriend sleeps for 8 hours a night but expects the OP to get by on 6:

quote:

She goes to sleep around 11pm or later and has to get up for work around 7-7:30.

GF is just extremely needy. When asked when was the last time the OP wasn't working and wasn't with the GF:

quote:

Well we’ve been together for a year so about a year. If I want to do something with my friends she has to tag along

They have lived together for all of two months lol

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:32

mystes: May 31, 2006

Shanghaied posted:

There's nothing weird about falling asleep at 8-9 if you're getting up at 5 each day? The girlfriend sleeps for 8 hours a night but expects the OP to get by on 6:

GF is just extremely needy. When asked when was the last time the OP wasn't working and wasn't with the GF:

They have lived together for all of two months lol

That sounds completely exhausting

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:33

Pyroi: Aug 17, 2013; gay elf noises

Larry Cum Free posted:

In which a man contemplates staying with the worst human being imaginable: (bolding mine)

I (28m) highly considering ending my 7 year relationship with my (26f) gf. Looking for advice

WHAT ARE HER BAD YEARS GOING TO BE LIKE???

My dude, why did you not leave earlier

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:35

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Shanghaied posted:

There's nothing weird about falling asleep at 8-9 if you're getting up at 5 each day? The girlfriend sleeps for 8 hours a night but expects the OP to get by on 6:

GF is just extremely needy. When asked when was the last time the OP wasn't working and wasn't with the GF:

They have lived together for all of two months lol

that's another one where you have to ask if the girlfriend is a cat

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:35

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Larry Cum Free posted:

In which a man contemplates staying with the worst human being imaginable: (bolding mine)

I (28m) highly considering ending my 7 year relationship with my (26f) gf. Looking for advice

WHAT ARE HER BAD YEARS GOING TO BE LIKE???

need to go find one of those magical dicks for that magical pussy

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:44

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Larry Cum Free posted:

In which a man contemplates staying with the worst human being imaginable: (bolding mine)

I (28m) highly considering ending my 7 year relationship with my (26f) gf. Looking for advice

WHAT ARE HER BAD YEARS GOING TO BE LIKE???

Here's your advice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23FjDtbVIkY

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:45

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Desert Bus posted:

I can not discuss this without wanting to rage til I sound insane so I will let someone else handle the explanation but yes and here is a dece article about it:

https://theoutline.com/post/1617/chiropractors-are-bullshit

Yeah, that's what I thought. Anytime someone says, "I went to the chiropractor!" I trust their judgement a bit less.

That's like saying "Oh yeah, just went to the witchdoctor."

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:49

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Larry Cum Free posted:

In which a man contemplates staying with the worst human being imaginable: (bolding mine)

I (28m) highly considering ending my 7 year relationship with my (26f) gf. Looking for advice

WHAT ARE HER BAD YEARS GOING TO BE LIKE???

Exhibit A for why AITA needs a �what does this person actually bring to the table?� rule, that�s an awfully long wall of text to not contain a single positive thing about her

# ? Apr 4, 2024 21:51

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

Well she may be abusive, physically repellant, lazy, and overall a total drain on my physical, mental and financial resources....where was I going with this??

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:10

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

idiotsavant posted:

He should buy a good set of calipers & take careful measurements of his grandfathers skull so he can find out if he comes from superior genetic stock

Put it on the mantle & see if the Headless Horseman comes round

Pyroi posted:

My dude, why did you not leave earlier

Because he�s a spineless weenie

commenter posted:

You need to stop bending over backwards to make this relationship work, and start accepting the reality of the situation - that you have a partner who does not treat you that well and a relationship that is deeply unsatisfying to you.

OP posted:

I've come to that conclusion over the past year, but I wanted to make this work. Also the logistics of breaking up is going to be hard since she lives in my house and none of her family members are willing to take her back in especially since she has 4 dogs, 2 cats, and no vehicle/license.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:23

carrionman: Oct 30, 2010

Scathach posted:

Yeah, that's what I thought. Anytime someone says, "I went to the chiropractor!" I trust their judgement a bit less.

That's like saying "Oh yeah, just went to the witchdoctor."

The fuckwits that come crawling out of the woodwork to recommend this voodoo poo poo whenever they think you have a sore back.
No mate, I don't need a loving crank trying to break my neck, yesterday was leg day that's why I don't want to get in and out of my goddamn chair

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:24

Rain Brain: Dec 15, 2006; in ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds

Yeah I have a cousin who is severely physically impaired after having a stroke at 25 when an adjustment by a chiropractor tore a major blood vessel in her neck. Turns out that type of injury isn't that an uncommon result of going to see them.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:28

mystes: May 31, 2006

So many people believe in it unfortunately, and you can't really go around telling them that it's pseudoscience or they'll get mad

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:31

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I got in trouble because I was talking to a coworker and saying I can't believe insurance pays for chiropractor visits it's a dangerous scam, and turns out she used to work as a chiropractic nurse and was offended and complained.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:34

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Rain Brain posted:

Yeah I have a cousin who is severely physically impaired after having a stroke at 25 when an adjustment by a chiropractor tore a major blood vessel in her neck. Turns out that type of injury isn't that an uncommon result of going to see them.

Jesus.

I'm still not sure why they're covered by insurance. Seems like a liability more than anything.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:35

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

So seems like my practice of going "woohoo wooooo!" while waving hands over my "patients" is both safer and more effective than chiro.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:37

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Scathach posted:

Jesus.

I'm still not sure why they're covered by insurance. Seems like a liability more than anything.

Probably because it's cheaper than actual medicine and if you die, the insurance company probably will not be on the hook for it.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:38

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

mystes posted:

So many people believe in it unfortunately, and you can't really go around telling them that it's pseudoscience or they'll get mad

They get real mad. Sunk-cost fallacy. And when you ask them what the chiro did that ACTUALLY helped it's like the most basic rear end physical therapy type stuff that any decent actual doctor or physical therapist would recommend.

There is a 100% legit medical discipline that includes some of the chrio quackery and if you think you need a chiro you should just go see a DO:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Osteopathic_Medicine

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:38

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Desert Bus posted:

There is a 100% legit medical discipline that includes some of the chrio quackery and if you think you need a chiro you should just go see a DO:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Osteopathic_Medicine

Be sure to ask for Dr. Ronnie James (D.O.).

:regd10:

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:40

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

DeeplyConcerned posted:

So seems like my practice of going "woohoo wooooo!" while waving hands over my "patients" is both safer and more effective than chiro.

Ah, so you're a Reiki healer?

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:41

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

John Wick of Dogs posted:

I got in trouble because I was talking to a coworker and saying I can't believe insurance pays for chiropractor visits it's a dangerous scam, and turns out she used to work as a chiropractic nurse and was offended and complained.

What�s a chiropractic nurse?

# ? Apr 4, 2024 22:57

Barking Gecko: Apr 10, 2016; Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

Larry Cum Free posted:

What�s a chiropractic nurse?

an accessory to fraud and reckless endangerment.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:01

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

God there's a scene in The Curse where Emma Stone sends a chiropractor to take care of a poor guy they've basically made their project, and it's the most horrifying tv scene I've ever seen.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:25

Magic Hate Ball: May 6, 2007; ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this

DeeplyConcerned posted:

So seems like my practice of going "woohoo wooooo!" while waving hands over my "patients" is both safer and more effective than chiro.

I take it you studied under Dr Briner?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR08bMCrPaA

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:27

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Scathach posted:

Yeah, that's what I thought. Anytime someone says, "I went to the chiropractor!" I trust their judgement a bit less.

That's like saying "Oh yeah, just went to the witchdoctor."

Wait, witchdoctors are as bad as chiropractors?! Dammit, now how am I going to have curses laid on my enemies?

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:34

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Elissimpark posted:

Wait, witchdoctors are as bad as chiropractors?! Dammit, now how am I going to have curses laid on my enemies?

A forums account is like :10bux:

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:36

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

AnoHito posted:

That sounds like the worst of both worlds, since having to pay won't really stop the alcoholics, but will inconvenience everyone else.

I bet the OP could make up the $1800 they spent on security on just those 5's bar tab though.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 23:58

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Breetai posted:

A forums account is like .

Is Jeffrey of YOSPOS going to walk through fire and fly through smoke? Will I, as a result, see my enemies on the end of a rope?

# ? Apr 5, 2024 00:27

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:05

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

DoubleNegative posted:

AITA For telling my girlfriend I�m done because she expects me to stay awake 18+ hours a day?

Get a load of this guy, needing (checks notes) 8-9 hours of sleep a night. What an inconsiderate rear end in a top hat!

I mean the easy answer is wake the GF up at 5am so they can spend a quality morning together before he leaves for work!

# ? Apr 5, 2024 00:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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