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I'm not an expert but I think Arties secretly gay because he lost at fantasy football to a woman. Again, I'm not an expert.
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Apr 5, 2024 14:54
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Ether Frenzy posted:"I want to punch her 'til she shits out her bones" The first time I heard this song, my first thought was, how would this even happen? Like, punching bones until they break is one thing, but punching someone so hard that their bone shards would shred their colon AND go through their rear end in a top hat without killing them & thereby rendering them incapable of making GBS threads would be a hell of a feat. quote:No, he just can't find the right woman despite being a super macho rich famous guy who knows a ton about sports, especially the really manly ones, who hates himself and only visits sex workers. He makes Liberace look like he wasn't even trying to find a wife!! Whether or not Artie's gay, he is (was?) very, very, very, very picky. I don't think he was necessarily unpopular with women during his time on the show, I just think that he wanted more than they could/wanted to handle, which drove Dana away. He wanted a submissive, very physically attractive girlfriend-mom hybrid, someone to coddle him, someone to just treat however, someone who would tolerate everything he did with a smile on her face, etc. Lifespan posted:Artie's not gay, he was just so desperate for laughs/approval along with the faux machismo stuff from his father and being a "Jersey longshoreman" that he would take any chance he could to make any gay joke that came to mind. 
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Apr 5, 2024 16:18
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The only thing Artie ever truly loved was pancakes. And heroin.
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Apr 5, 2024 17:50
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Now I'm just remembering Artie arguing with Howard that having Hawaiian Punch every morning is not bad for you because it is juice.
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Apr 5, 2024 17:58
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lol I went looking for one of the Artie songs and found this. Jesus it's brutal. funny but, man... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vffknT4kk44 This is what I was looking for. Cuddly Muffin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVuZw6T6gBg
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Apr 5, 2024 18:39
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What else could Dana want? Artie said, "The dog can live with us. I'll build him a separate house he can live in next to our house."
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Apr 5, 2024 21:13
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It’s hosed up that living with a dog he could pet whenever and presumably not have to lift a finger to care for was for Artie a relationship deal breaker.
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Apr 5, 2024 21:24
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It diverts attention from Artie. He wants a woman that is 100% devoted to him.
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Apr 5, 2024 21:36
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Ralph Hurley posted:It’s hosed up that living with a dog he could pet whenever and presumably not have to lift a finger to care for was for Artie a relationship deal breaker. What I never knew this I thought Dana just got tired of his problems & addiction Was this a dog she already had or was she wanting to get a dog?
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Apr 5, 2024 21:40
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beep by grandpa posted:What She had it. I always thought it was because dogs would smell his heroin lol
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Apr 5, 2024 21:48
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I'm sure the dog was only part of it. Artie totally didn't want her to move in because it would mean he couldn't be as much of a degenerate. He wanted a relationship like with his mom where he can do whatever he wants and someone comes by to check on him and tell him he is a good boy. As mentioned many times in this thread, he was a total child and I hope he is getting his poo poo together.
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Apr 5, 2024 21:55
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Was this before or after the Sopranos episode where Christopher nods off and sits on the dog? "She musta been tryin to get warm"
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Apr 5, 2024 22:21
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question: who were they making fun of that had the idea to put a fishtank in a casino somewhere, or maybe it was a strip club? and they played that sal goof where he was like "wow honey, look, they have a fishtank! let's stay a little longer" i heard this in a compilation a few months ago on youtube and it popped into my head today and i want to listen to it again lol
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Apr 5, 2024 23:11
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Bonzo posted:Let's not shall we? It was a joke, thought it seemed fairly obvious. GodspeedYou!Witchy posted:I'm not an expert but I think Arties secretly gay because he lost at fantasy football to a woman. Again, I'm not an expert. If you listened to the show, you'd know that Crazy Alice called him "Gay Artie". Good post otherwise.
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Apr 5, 2024 23:42
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barnold posted:question: who were they making fun of that had the idea to put a fishtank in a casino somewhere, or maybe it was a strip club? and they played that sal goof where he was like "wow honey, look, they have a fishtank! let's stay a little longer" Ronnie's "Scoresman" persona.
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Apr 5, 2024 23:52
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Sand Monster posted:Ronnie's "Scoresman" persona. Yo Ronnie whatchya wearing? You wearin' a full suit? I bet you get yo suits at the mens warehouse. Ronnie you got a flip phone? What kinda sneakers are them Ronnie? NIKES!! Yo, you wearin' Nikes dog? I mean those fine if you like in high school or some poo poo.
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Apr 6, 2024 00:45
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GodspeedYou!Witchy posted:I'm not an expert but I think Arties secretly gay because he lost at fantasy football to a woman. Again, I'm not an expert. That gives the name Awddy Asswamma a whole new meaning.
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Apr 6, 2024 00:49
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Ether Frenzy posted:It was a joke, thought it seemed fairly obvious. Yeah sorry. I posted that before coffee. Gimme traction
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Apr 6, 2024 01:18
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Mr Lance Murdock posted:Yo Ronnie whatchya wearing? You wearin' a full suit? I bet you get yo suits at the mens warehouse. Ronnie you got a flip phone? What kinda sneakers are them Ronnie? NIKES!! Yo, you wearin' Nikes dog? I mean those fine if you like in high school or some poo poo. That’s probably the second hardest I’ve ever laughed out loud after “get that poison out of your system “
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Apr 6, 2024 01:57
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I love a mah Artie I gaht him a beautiful birthday Goobalini
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Apr 6, 2024 13:09
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Ether Frenzy posted:It was a joke, thought it seemed fairly obvious. hi fred
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Apr 7, 2024 00:54
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 I think the funniest random sound drop is OJ saying "I'd like to have two more."
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Apr 7, 2024 01:03
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“Look Out!”
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Apr 7, 2024 01:20
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"It happens"
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Apr 7, 2024 01:37
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This is just art. You can't do anything like this anymore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqKjhzRDUhA
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Apr 7, 2024 01:53
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Ether Frenzy posted:If you listened to the show, you'd know that Crazy Alice called him "Gay Artie". Good post otherwise. Ok, Gay Howah!
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Apr 7, 2024 03:14
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I really wish he used that cover & title for his second book. Hilarious. Way better than the cringey miss america stuff he was going for as a joke, though it gave him the excuse to be able to dress as “Helen Stern” throughout so of course he pushed it hard
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Apr 7, 2024 04:21
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Bonzo posted:This is just art. You can't do anything like this anymore. I want it put on my headstone that I was watching the right channel and heard this call live. it was the highlight of a tumultuous year.
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Apr 7, 2024 11:58
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Now that there’s a Taylor Swift station on Sirius I’ll never be allowed to cancel it.
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Apr 7, 2024 17:53
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Hello my Debbie
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Apr 7, 2024 22:04
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(actually I’d like to touch)
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Apr 7, 2024 22:17
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I’m not biting my nails anymore…
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Apr 7, 2024 22:45
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Szyznyk posted:Now that there’s a Taylor Swift station on Sirius I’ll never be allowed to cancel it. Does Howard think his show has more listeners than she does?
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Apr 7, 2024 22:53
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Szyznyk posted:Now that there’s a Taylor Swift station on Sirius I’ll never be allowed to cancel it. I wonder how many times Gary has begged to have her on the show.
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Apr 7, 2024 23:50
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Two Kings posted:I wonder how many times Gary has begged to have her on the show. To be a fly on the wall for those calls....
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Apr 8, 2024 00:19
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She's the hottest chick we've had up here.
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Apr 8, 2024 00:58
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It’s very sad that Ralph isn’t here to call her a bit of a butterface.
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Apr 8, 2024 02:00
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HICKERY DICKERY DOCK AAAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!
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Apr 8, 2024 02:31
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I remember Ralph saying Natalie Portman wasn't good looking, and this was probably twenty years ago when she would have been 22 years old and particularly gorgeous. I don't think Ralph was gay, but he enjoyed being a heel and saying dumb hot takes like that to get attention.
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Apr 8, 2024 02:32
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Didn't Taylor Swift come up to Sirius one day and the main bathroom was closed to taking a poo poo or something along those lines?
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Apr 8, 2024 02:46
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