r/relationships: it sounds like I'm having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

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Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Quackles posted:

It's a cat colony.

Cats have more functional social boundaries and structure.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 06:38

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# ? May 17, 2024 19:22

Sex Farm: Nov 17, 2017

Scathach posted:

r/relationships: he fingered her in the treehouse

Hahaha it's funny because the husband sexually assaulted a minor

Seriously, what the gently caress

# ? Apr 21, 2024 07:45

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Well the current thread title is also from a story that has abuse and other gross stuff in it so I guess it�s just keeping the theme going.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 07:52

Sex Farm: Nov 17, 2017

Nobody checks if the stories they post are literal abuse stories but it is okay because the people cracking jokes about them don't read the posts either so really you can't blame anyone for any of it, ever

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:03

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

gently caress yeah time for another of these god drat derails, lord knows we didn't already fuckin have one just the other week, to me my popcorn

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:04

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Yeah I didn�t catch that or read the comments, so I�ve deleted that. Mea culpa.

Have other content instead, let�s change the topic.

AITA For not lying to the police for my family?

quote:

Hey Reddit, I need some serious opinions on a situation that's tearing me apart. My family has always been close-knit, I'm talking great grandmother and below lives in the house, but lately, they've been swimming in deep waters.

The other day, the police showed up at their doorstep, asking questions about some seriously sketchy stuff my family is involved in. And let me tell you, it's not just a little white lie or a minor misunderstanding. We're talking about full-on criminal activity here.

So basically, my family got caught up in this business venture that turned out to be a front for all sorts of illegal activities. We're talking about fraud, money laundering, you name it. It's the kind of stuff that could make headlines and ruin lives.

Now, when the cops came knocking, my family immediately went into panic mode. They started Freaking out and my father answered the door in like a fake white suburban father act, acting like he had no idea what happened and agreed to get questioned, and he apparently had actual forged papers and passports in the house at the time. (that's all i know)

I know they were brought in and asked questions, but I don't know the details on that obviously.

Part of me understands where they're coming from. They're scared, desperate, and willing to do whatever it takes to stay out of prison. And yeah, they're my family, so I feel this sense of loyalty pulling me in their direction.

But on the other hand, I can't ignore my own safety. I believe that if I do this I might get brought into their problem. Lying to the police Would just put me in this crazy ordeal.

So now, I'm stuck in the middle of this mess, torn between loyalty to my family and staying true to myself. They see me as betraying them, abandoning them when they need me the most. And yeah, I feel guilty as hell for potentially throwing them under the bus.

They are making me feel like I'm betraying them by not helping.

But at the end of the day, I can't shake the feeling that maybe my family are not who I thought they were. I'm lost and could really use some outside opinions.

Yes, I understand this is a very easy decision, but I don't live with my family, and I haven't for a while. I have learned all of this within the past week or two and I'm just kind of lost at the moment, I believe they are already f'ed because of the forged papers so even if I do lie, I think I would just be equally as f'ed as them.

Edit: Wow this got a lot more attention than I thought it would.

Thank you all for the comments I was not originally aware that I can just choose to not say anything, me and my lawyer friend have both agreed that I should just wait it out and not say anything else, I won't be updating anything for a bit unless something crazy happens.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:08

Sex Farm: Nov 17, 2017

Malachite_Dragon posted:

gently caress yeah time for another of these god drat derails, lord knows we didn't already fuckin have one just the other week, to me my popcorn

Oh no a derail about how people shouldn't post abuse stories, cry me a loving river

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:16

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

ApplesandOranges posted:

Yeah I didn’t catch that or read the comments, so I’ve deleted that. Mea culpa.

Have other content instead, let’s change the topic.

AITA For not lying to the police for my family?

https://imgur.com/XgY1tX6.mp4

Sex Farm posted:

Oh no a derail about how people shouldn't post abuse stories, cry me a loving river

We've had this argument a thousand loving times. We *just had it*.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:20

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Weird how it only seems to happen when Corky is asleep too, what's up with that

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:22

Sex Farm: Nov 17, 2017

ApplesandOranges posted:

Yeah I didn�t catch that or read the comments, so I�ve deleted that. Mea culpa.

Have other content instead, let�s change the topic.

AITA For not lying to the police for my family?

Thank you for the deletion!

That story is confusing. What could the family possibly want the OP to say that would help them in any way? It doesn't even seem like the OP is involved in any of it?

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:23

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

ApplesandOranges posted:

Yeah I didn’t catch that or read the comments, so I’ve deleted that. Mea culpa.

Have other content instead, let’s change the topic.

AITA For not lying to the police for my family?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:23

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

FMguru posted:

A story in three parts. Warning: contains (redacted) ableist slur

AIW for saying I'm not interested in helping my sister fix her relationship?

Is this a distinct subreddit for Am I Wrong?

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:23

Sex Farm: Nov 17, 2017

Malachite_Dragon posted:

We've had this argument a thousand loving times. We *just had it*.

Weird you have a bigger problem with people complaining about the abuse stories than with the stories themselves but whatever, you do you champ!

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:26

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Because I've got nothing to add that hasn't already been said. I agree they shouldn't be posted. Everyone has agreed they shouldn't be posted. It does not need to be relitigated for the fiftieth time.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:29

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

Get ready to get mad.

AITA for not inviting my mentally unstable cousin to my wedding

quote:

I (25F) am getting married this coming spring. I've got a cousin named Rose (also 25F) who was around a lot growing up. Her mother (my aunt) is my mother's sister and they've always been super close, and my mom adores Rose and her siblings for some reason and we spent a lot of holidays and summers together when we were growing up

The thing is, Rose is crazy. Her brothers are fine, but Rose is crazy. Every time we were together she would have a meltdown and throw a temper tantrum if things didn't go her way and never made any sense.(ex: She would throw fits if we went to the beach, but also if she didn't go to the beach) She even broke some of my stuff. She just seems like a very unstable girl. We stopped spending so much time together when Rose's dad got a job in a different state and they moved away and couldn't afford to fly back as frequently.

It's been a while, and I still follow her on social media. She posts a lot of about mental heath stuff. She goes by a new name, has a new look, and she's even dating some guy. But I don't think it's authentic. I think she's trying to reinvent herself because she used to be such a brat and is trying to make people forget how she use to treat them. I'm pretty sure she has BPD.

This Christmas was at my mom's house and my fianc� and I figured that we would hand out the wedding invites there and not risk them getting lost in the mail. Most people at Christmas got one, but Rose, naturally, wasn't invited. I don't want her ruining our special or anything. She was pretty mellow and was talking about her new job and stuff. She came up and told me that she noticed that her brothers had gotten an invite but I had forgotten to give her one. I told her I didn't think she would want to come, since when we used to get together nothing seemed right for her. She seemed really taken aback, apologized for how she used to act because she had "a lot of stuff" to deal with, and sad she was sorry that I didn't think she couldn't change from when she was a kid. I held firm because this is the first time she's EVER apologized to me for how she tried to ruin stuff and I think she was just trying to manipulate me into getting her way like she always used to.

Her family realized that she had never gotten an invite, and one of her brothers called and asked why his sister wasn't invited. I reiterated that I didn't feel comfortable with a mentally unstable woman at my wedding and he got angry and said that I was stupid for being mad at something that happened "so loving long ago" and that I was being ridiculous and bigoted and said he didn't want to come either and hung up. Then Rose's mom called my mom and said that if her daughter was the only family member not invited that she wasn't going to attend.

Now my mom is upset that her sister and "niblings" (her word) aren't coming and begged me to just invite Rose. But you can't fully cure mental illness, and I don't want her coming and smashing my cake or something. AITA?

redditor posted:

Are you a psychiatrist or mental health professional?If not, you are diagnosing her based on...I dunno? A mommy blog? An unsubstantiated web md post? A tv show?

OP posted:

She posts a lot about social and political issues and awareness on her Facebook and BPD is one she mentions a lot, so I think it's the one she has. Like, she posted a lot during "BPD awareness month"

redditor posted:

How old was Rose when the original stuff happened? It wasn't great behaviour however it doesn't necessarily mean she is mentally unwell. She may have been a troubled teen who has now grown up. She has apologised, you don't have to accept it but her family are not assholes for standing by her and not coming.

OP posted:

We were both 12 when she moved away and she didn't visit that often afterwards. Even when her brothers came my aunt and uncle would just say that Rose didn't want to go out and they didn't want to push her.

So what exactly did this 12-year-old hellion do?

OP posted:

Random things would set her off, like once she went into her room and pulled off the heads of all her barbies (and one of mine because we were playing together earlier) and another time at her birthday she was really happy opening presents and then she upwrapped a new dress my mom got her and started crying and wouldn't tell anyone why she didn't like it.

redditor posted:

Is Rose part of the LGTBQ community? Why did her brother call you a bigot?

OP posted:

I don't think her sexuality is relevant to this.

One Month Later ...

AITA for wanting security to accompany my mentally ill cousin at my wedding?

quote:

I (25F) am getting married in several months. Sorry if this sounds convoluted. I'm really stressed over this whole thing and it's sometimes hard to keep my thoughts together.

It's a long story, but there has been some drama about me not inviting my cousin (also 25F) that's spiraled into family drama, and now her parents and brothers are threatening to pull out if I don't invite her. I don't want my cousin there because she is mentally ill (I believe BPD) and I have had very bad experiences with her when we grew up together, and I don't believe she has truly improved the way she acts like she has.

I feel like she could be a potential threat to my wedding, and I don't want all the attention to be on her having a breakdown, or her trying to smash my cake or interrupt my vows. But my mother (who is very close with her mother and her) is also threatening to pull funding because I'm acting "ridiculous" for not inviting all of her "niblings." It's causing so much drama, and with my aunt and my mother deciding to take back the offer of money, I wouldn't be able to fully pay for the venue we already have booked. The invites were given out about a month ago, and I'm surprised and disappointed that the drama hasn't blown over since then.

I got advice on Reddit before that suggested extra security to shadow my cousin specifically. It looked like that was the only way to keep this venue, so I brought it up with my fianc� and he said he was fine with hiring someone, or even having one of his relatives shadow her the entire time and make sure she didn't try anything.

So I mentioned it to my mother, but she didn't like the idea. She says my cousin isn't a threat, and I'm being awful towards her. I tried to explain that, rationally, it was the best option. My cousin is a mentally ill woman, and I doubt the venue would appreciate us inviting someone with a known history of destruction and meltdowns. This way, she can have her nieces and nephews and sister at the wedding and I can have slightly more peace of mind.

I'm trying to maintain this boundary, but my mom still insists that I'm being awful for some reason. I'm just trying to maintain the peace while feeling safe at my own wedding. AITA?

edit: This post is getting brigaded. I would like it if you would stop baselessly speculating on my cousin's sexuality and implying that I'm a bad person because of it

edit 2: For everyone implying that my mother is fully funding my wedding, that isn't true. She is contributing a significant amount but I did not ask her to. She offered. If I had known that the money came with strings attached I would have chosen a cheaper venue when planning. Pulling out now would lose my deposit (which I paid for) and cause me to have to do a lot of rescheduling and replanning. I'm not going to give in and let some psycho ruin me and my fiance's day.

To those recommending I go low or no contact with my mother, that isn't an option. I love her and she loves me, and I'm not going to destroy our relationship because of some psycho.

OP posted:

I don't want to cancel or downgrade, because I love this venue. She used to ruin things for me when we were kids, and I feel like cancelling now is just letting her win again. But also, financially, I don't want to take out a loan.

OP posted:

My mother thinks that she has changed, but I think she's too easily trusting. I last saw my cousin at Christmas, and my mom pointed out that my cousin had apologized then, but she only apologized after she realized she had not been invited to the wedding. She never apologized before about how she used to treat me.

She also seems to have had some sort of breakdown a year ago. She had a radical change in her appearance, shaved her head, and changed her name. Our family thinks it's fine and "brave" or whatever, but it just reminded me of Brittney Spears doing the same thing during her breakdown.

24 hours later ...

OP posted:

I stopped replying to my AITAH post because it was clear that it was being brigaded and people even linked the subreddit that was brigading. I keep getting harassing messages on my other post and through private messages so I see that people are stalking my profile as well.

People are making assumptions about me and my feelings towards the LGBT community and transgenderism that are irrelevant to my post about my cousin. My cousin is female and mentally ill. My cousin is not a man and has never told me that she thinks she's a man. I think that a woman is allowed to want to feel safe and secure at her own wedding without misogynistic slurs being thrown at her and being forced to accommodate mental illness at a celebration that is NOT FOR THE MENTALLY ILL WOMAN.

I am not going to elope and I am not going to cancel. I know my mother loves me, even if she also likes my cousins, and would not abandon me. My fianc� stands by me no matter what and agrees with my stance on the whole thing.

I appreciate all the ACTUAL advice I've received. My cousin will be invited to placate my mother, and I've told her that I will invite her and not hire security. My fianc�'s cousin will shadow her the entire time if she makes it into the venue. She will not be allowed to bring a plus one and invite her boyfriend/girlfriend. If she does not stick to the dress code she will not be allowed in. The dress code is simple and already established: a formal or semi-formal dress for female guests and a suit for male guests, all within my wedding colors. It's pretty standard for weddings, so if she can't manage that then oh well I can tell my mother I tried to accommodate her 🥰

Two weeks later ...

How to get my (25F) cousin (25F) to attend my wedding to keep the peace?

quote:

I'll try to keep the summary short.

Background:

I'm getting married this spring. Around Christmas I sent out the invites to the family I wanted there, but did not invite a female cousin of mine (Rose) because I did not get along with her when we were growing up together and I haven't seen her in a long time. I didn't want her there, and I didn't think she would want to attend anyway. (She's a bit of a tomboy, and I doubt she'd want to put on a dress and spend the day at a fancy party with us)

But my mother is very close to her mother (they're really close in age) and both of them were contributing money to help fund my wedding for the venue I wanted and already have booked. Because I didn't invite her daughter, my aunt said she was not attending along with Rose's brothers and would not help pay for the wedding. It wasn't alot of money, so I could eat the cost for that, but then my mom got upset that her sister and niece and nephews wouldn't attend, and is threatening to not pay unless I invite Rose and apologize for snubbing her.

At first I was really stubborn, but I don't want to switch venues and catering this late into the planning because it would delay so I bit the bullet and sent Rose an invite. But I never got a response from her, and I wanted to check if she at least received the invite. I wanted to show my mom that she was choosing not to go, so I reached out to one of her brothers. But he was very verbally abusive and immediately he blew up at me and wouldn't even consider listening to me or trying to help me out. He also went into unprovoked and classist attacks on my fianc�. (edit: I originally had the texts on my profile to show you how he insulted me, but I just realized I didn't censor private information clearly enough. He just called me a bunch of gendered slurs and called my fianc� a "redneck" while implying that his family takes part in incest.)

How can I convince my mother to stay on my side, and how can I get Rose to respond to me? I really do want to repair our relationship and have a smooth wedding day. I just feel like everything has been going so well and now this year it's all crumbling at the last minute.

Apparently the texts that OP posted show that, surprise surprise, the cousin goes by "they/them" pronouns and a new name and considers "Rose" to be a deadname. Wow, who could have possibly seen that coming?

redditor posted:

Hey OP, did you really think that posting texts of your deadnaming and misgendering your cousin were going to help your case??? I can clearly see the names you tried to block out.

OP posted:

It makes it sound worse when phrased like that.

Two days later ...

Update on my wedding

quote:

This was autoremoved from RA but I wanted to post it to thank everyone who tried to help so I'm going to copy and past it

I appreciate all the people who gave advice on my last post even if they were unnecessarily rude about it.

The day after I made my post Rose finally called me that she had gotten and rejected my invite. She was nasty about it, but she's always been a bit of a brat. She said she didn't care about my wedding and didn't want to be part of more "stupid loving family drama" (Which I think is hypocritical because SHE always starts the drama)

So she and her brothers and parents aren't attending, and my mom and some other guests are upset at that but it's all manageable.

I went to breakfast with my mom this morning and we sat down and spoke about the wedding. I took advice from my last post and told her that if she continued to favor a cousin over her DAUGHTER then I would never speak to her again and she would not be invited to the rescheduled wedding. A lot was said, but she broke down and admitted that she was bluffing and didn't actually want to ruin my big day, she was just upset with how I had acted back around the holidays and hoped that her threat would be a wake up call. I apologized and acknowledged that I didn't realize how hurtful my actions would have been perceived. She essentially raised me by myself and I have always tried to live by the values she instilled in me, even if they aren't always popular with others and I told her this.

So the wedding should still be on course. I still have to find the money to make up for what my aunt would have paid, but I don't think its alot and my fiance will probably be able to cover it.

Thank you again for all the advice ❤️

And the grand finale ...

Two months later ...

I was supposed to get married today, but my cousin sabotaged my wedding and my fiance called it off

quote:

I can't really blame him for calling it off, because it was for financial reasons. But I feel like I can't talk to him about it because I'll start saying things that I regret.

I was set to get married today. It was great, I had everything planned out perfectly. My venue was on the pricey side, but both my mother and aunt said they would help pay for it to make my wedding perfect. I sent invites months ahead to make sure everyone had time to plan stuff if they needed to travel and the drama started when I didn't invite my cousin. I grew up with her because our mothers are close and she is very mentally ill and would always have meltdowns and stuff. Around last year she had a breakdown that everyone seems to ignore now. I'm pretty sure she has BPD and anyone who knows someone with that will tell you how unstable and unpredictable those people are. So I decided that I didn't want a severely mentally ill woman at my wedding to risk ruining it and also we weren't that close to begin with and hadn't seen each other for years. I thought everyone would understand that and it's not like she and I were very close to begin with.

It caused a lot of drama and family fighting. My aunt said that if I didn't invite her daughter then she wasn't going to contribute money, and my female cousin's brothers also said that they weren't coming. Then my mom got angry and said that she wasn't going to contribute money if I was going to discriminate against my female cousin. And then other relatives heard that I hadn't invited her because of her mental illness (I didn't even tell anyone it was because of that, just that we weren't close. But I guess she was telling them that I was being bigoted against her because of her illness)

I settled things with my mom who agreed to pay, and I even offered my cousin an invite and apologized for excluding her when I initially sent out the invites. But she brushed my off and said she didn't want to go to my wedding.

But my aunt never accepted the apology and still refused to pay. I thought that that was fine because my fianc� could make up the difference and asked my dad if he was willing to contribute more (he divorced my mom when I was a kid and we're not super close any more because of it, but he still offered some money.) But neither of them were able to pitch in any more, and my savings also aren't enough unless I wanted to completely wipe them out or take out a loan, and I don't think that's a very good financial choice. I want the perfect wedding but I don't want to go into debt for it.

I finally decided to fold and look for another venue, but all of the ones I wanted were booked for the rest of the year. Last month my fianc� told me that we should postpone the wedding for a year so that we find the perfect venue that we can afford. I had to call all my friends and the family members who still wanted to go and basically tell them I was too poor to get married this year. It was humiliating.

All of this is because of my cousin who got pissy that I didn't want her at my wedding (and she doesn't even want to GO to the wedding anyway) and did her best to turn my family against me.

OP posted:

I would have been fine with a smaller wedding, but it was my aunt and mother who offered to help pay in the first place during the earlier planning stages. This venue was actually one where I had first only shown it to my mom as the type that I was looking for but cheaper (I don't want to give too many personal details and give away where I live, but it's really nice and outdoors with a beautiful garden and big historical building for the reception) It was perfect but I was fine for settling with a different one that had the same aesthetics. My mother was the one to encourage me booking it because she said I should have my dream wedding, and my aunt also said I should book it and she would help make sure I could afford it.

Now, there's nothing that conclusively proves they had booked a former plantation, but ...

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:37

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

A couple good ones here:

r/relationships: I tried to explain that, rationally,
r/relationships: Our family thinks it's fine and "brave" or whatever
r/relationships: It makes it sound worse when phrased like that

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:43

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

OP is amazing, just continually sideshow bob-ing into the countless rakes she herself has set out

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:49

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Moon Slayer posted:

Get ready to get mad.

AITA for not inviting my mentally unstable cousin to my wedding

So what exactly did this 12-year-old hellion do?

One Month Later ...

AITA for wanting security to accompany my mentally ill cousin at my wedding?

24 hours later ...

Two weeks later ...

How to get my (25F) cousin (25F) to attend my wedding to keep the peace?

Apparently the texts that OP posted show that, surprise surprise, the cousin goes by "they/them" pronouns and a new name and considers "Rose" to be a deadname. Wow, who could have possibly seen that coming?

Two days later ...

Update on my wedding

And the grand finale ...

Two months later ...

I was supposed to get married today, but my cousin sabotaged my wedding and my fiance called it off

Now, there's nothing that conclusively proves they had booked a former plantation, but ...

Well you weren't wrong, this is utterly infuriating.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:51

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

There's this interesting dissonance where on one hand, OP makes it incredibly clear that she considers her cousin a woman because they were AFAB, but also very carefully avoids actually mentioning that her cousin is non-binary. So on one hand, she doesn't consider their identity valid enough to use the correct pronouns and new name, but she's aware that this is a bad thing, so she's trying to obfuscate it as much as possible.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 08:57

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I'm glad it hosed up her wedding. I'm also glad she's still with her fiance, because he sounds as lovely as she does. Keep them out of the dating pool.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 09:03

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Just a poo poo person all round - "you acted up as a child therefore you have a mental disorder and I can use this "fact" to treat you like something I scraped off my shoe". Even if you take ignoring their gender identity out of the story, this person is a poo poo.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 09:03

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Just so many loving awful phrases. "You know how those people are." The insistence on saying female cousin over and over and over and over again. Absolute garbage person.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 09:05

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Mr. Lobe posted:

I'd probably not go to that funeral, personally

They often have free food.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 10:02

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

WIBTA for taking a bribe?

quote:

I (F18) live at home with my mum, dad and brother.

I'm trying to be brief, but my parents are very religious and horrifically homophobic. I am not out to anyone and it isn't safe to be in this house. Other than that they have always been really loving and caring parents.

I want to move out, but I live in a bit of a financially abusive situation. I don't have a car, can't get a job to buy one because they don't want to drive me (I live in a regional area so public transport does not exist).

I finish school this year, but am struggling to figure out how I'm going to go about this.

A week ago, I quite literally caught my dad in the act of cheating on my mother. I am being begged to keep quiet and dad is offering to buy me a brand new car if I don't say anything.

WIBTA if I milked this and took as much as I could?

Step 1: get the car in your name.
Step 2: "Hey mom, dad is cheating. I'm gay and moving out. My stuff is already gone. Gotta go, bye!"

# ? Apr 21, 2024 10:55

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Moon Slayer posted:

AITA for not inviting my mentally unstable cousin to my wedding

The "I am not a bigot, sexuality is not relevant" post has Reddit asking lots of questions which are already answered by the post.

Sex Farm posted:

That story is confusing. What could the family possibly want the OP to say that would help them in any way? It doesn't even seem like the OP is involved in any of it?

Two potential options:
1.) OP, we're going to lie about how we had no idea this involved money laundering for the Soprano family, we need you to back up our lie by telling the police you've never met Tony before in your life.
2.) Who wants to play a fun game of "taking the fall to keep the rest of the family clean"? OP, we're going to pin this on you and we'd appreciate if you just went with it because family.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 10:56

Cureall: Jan 12, 2022

Fil5000 posted:

Just a poo poo person all round - "you acted up as a child therefore you have a mental disorder and I can use this "fact" to treat you like something I scraped off my shoe". Even if you take ignoring their gender identity out of the story, this person is a poo poo.

Yeah OP is trying to make her cousin out to be an incurable psychopath but her only evidence seems to be a couple Facebook posts and some meltdowns at age 12, an age when kids are obviously perfectly rational and mature.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 11:42

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Fil5000 posted:

Just a poo poo person all round - "you acted up as a child therefore you have a mental disorder and I can use this "fact" to treat you like something I scraped off my shoe". Even if you take ignoring their gender identity out of the story, this person is a poo poo.

Even if you ignore both the mental health and the LGBTQ angles, it's still "my aunt is helping to pay for my wedding, but I'm not inviting her daughter because I don't like her".

Even if you ignore all of the above, it still sounds like a plantation wedding.

I would call OP a lovely person, but it's art at this point.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 12:16

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

extremely dumb hot take: while OP is incredibly awful the mother and aunt also dropped the ball, both in the past and more recently

# ? Apr 21, 2024 12:22

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

No you're right, the mum and the aunt should have had the cousin committed for pulling heads off dolls and crying occasionally.

Edit: No, better yet, they should've just Old Yeller'd the cousin, because "you can't fully cure mental illness."

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 12:29 on Apr 21, 2024

# ? Apr 21, 2024 12:26

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

I think the OP and cousin's relationship was damaged in the past (for understandable reasons) and I think none of the responsible adults did anything to try to repair or maintain that relationship. further, come the wedding, they escalated the situation with threats even when the cousin had decided they would prefer not to attend anyway

# ? Apr 21, 2024 12:36

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Or there was no indication to anyone other than the OP that their relationship was damaged? Everyone seemed taken aback by the OP's decision to not invite the cousin.The OP, who has a vested interest in making her cousin look crazy, couldn't think of anything worse than 1) complained about going to the beach, 2) pulled heads off dolls one time, 3) crying one time. All of this before either of them turned twelve, after which the cousin moved away. I've always been known as the calm, well-behaved, and studious one among the six kids of my generation of the family, and I'm pretty sure I've thrown far more than three temper tantrums up to the age of twelve.

And if you single a friend or family member out and openly refuse to invite them to some event where everyone else was invited to for some lovely reason, double down, then only begrudgingly invite them later out of social pressure, get snubbed and then say "see, they didn't want to come anyway!", like yeah, it's not the moral victory you think it is. Like gee, I wonder why they don't want to come now. You must be so prescient.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

OP is having a traditional lava volcano wedding and the relative is tragically virginal and thus poses a safety hazard.

Barudak fucked around with this message at 14:32 on Apr 21, 2024

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:10

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Barudak posted:

OP is having a traditional lava volcano wedding and aunts daughter is tragically virginal and thus poses a safety hazard.

It�s the bride�s special day so the unicorn has got to stay focused on her at all costs

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:12

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Sex Farm posted:

Nobody checks if the stories they post are literal abuse stories but it is okay because the people cracking jokes about them don't read the posts either so really you can't blame anyone for any of it, ever

Maybe Reddit was a mistake

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:15

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

The Alchemist posted:

Maybe Reddit was a mistake

I think that has already been firmly established at this point :reddit:

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:19

mystes: May 31, 2006

Moon Slayer posted:

Get ready to get mad.

AITA for not inviting my mentally unstable cousin to my wedding

So what exactly did this 12-year-old hellion do?

One Month Later ...

AITA for wanting security to accompany my mentally ill cousin at my wedding?

24 hours later ...

Two weeks later ...

How to get my (25F) cousin (25F) to attend my wedding to keep the peace?

Apparently the texts that OP posted show that, surprise surprise, the cousin goes by "they/them" pronouns and a new name and considers "Rose" to be a deadname. Wow, who could have possibly seen that coming?

Two days later ...

Update on my wedding

And the grand finale ...

Two months later ...

I was supposed to get married today, but my cousin sabotaged my wedding and my fiance called it off

Now, there's nothing that conclusively proves they had booked a former plantation, but ...

This is the probably the most "unreliable narrator"-ish series of reddit posts I've ever seen. gently caress this lying bigot.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:24

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Brother and I got into a fight about the 7th Harry Potter Book. Should I un-invite him to my wedding?

quote:

Last week I (F 35) was talking with my brother John (M 42) on the phone and he said he just saw a movie that I have been wanting to see. I told him "no spoilers." He said "I never spoil anything intentionally." I said: "haha, remember that one time when you spoiled the 7th Harry Potter book for me by telling me who dies after I told you not to." (I had read all the previous books and was excited to read the last one at launch. John didn't read any of them and a co-worker revealed to him which characters die. In one conversation he just blurted out who dies out of the blue after I sternly told him not to tell me). After I mentioned that he totally freaked out. He was like "oh my god why do you have a grudge," "this has been haunting you for 17 years," "you just had to get this off your chest and prove a point." I was like "holly poo poo, I just brought up a memory, because, a thing you said reminded me of it." I didn't say I felt angry or have a grudge or anything like that. After this he sent me a text apologizing. I was like "it's really no big deal and thank you, that means a lot." I wake up the next day to a huge text saying that he can't believe I have a grudge against him after 17 years and that he is not coming to my wedding! It's incredibly hurtful to hear that someone doesn't want to go to your wedding because of you. I call him and he still insists I have a grudge no matter how many times I tell him I don't and and I'm sorry if it came off as vindictive. He says that he is really pissed off I said "thank you" to his apology, because, there was nothing he needed to apologize for. I explain that when someone apologizes, you say "thank you."

After this happened I made up my mind to make the executive decision to agree with him that he can't come. I told my mom about this too and she was supportive. I didn't tell him, because, I didn't want to talk to him; I was afraid of another fight. Last Saturday I get texts from my mom and John saying that he is coming and they bought plane tickets together. I should have told him my decision. Last time we talked I said he had till Monday to decide if he was coming, because, he kept on changing his mind and the up and down was really hard. I didn't expect him to buy a plane ticket. I reminded my mom that I told her I didn't want him to come and asked if she told him that. She said she mentioned to him that she doesn't think he is invited; they got the tickets anyways. She's in a wheel chair and thinks he is the only person who can help her travel. She may be able to find another option, but, just accepting his help is the easiest route.

Now I feel sick to my stomach about him coming. I felt at peace when I decided that he couldn't come and now I'm dreading my wedding. I am so torn. On one hand I want him there, because, he is my bother and I have some nice memories with him, on the other hand I feel like the calls we had were abusive and I don't want that energy at my wedding. I wish he would just decide again to not to come. I don't want to tell him he can't come after he bought a plane ticket and is now excited for it.

Advice Needed:

I need advice on if I should forgive him and let him come or un-invite him. If I forgive him how should I do that and if I un-invite him how do I do that?

TL;DR: I got into a huge fight with my brother, because, he thought I had a grudge over him spoiling the 7th Harry Potter Book; I didn't. He told me he didn't want to go to my wedding and I made up my mind that he wasn't coming. He bought a plane ticket to come down for my wedding and now I'm feeling incredibly anxious. Need help on deciding how to handle this situation.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:47

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

A heartwarming story in which a POC and a racist POS is brought together by the sheer stupidity of woman who doesn't believe in the concept of poison.

AITA for calling my mom's husband a piece of poo poo?

quote:

My(18m) mom and dad separated two years ago.

I live with my dad and have never visited my mom at her new house since her new husband doesn't want me there. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't like Chinese people and that because I'm part Chinese on my dad's side I'm not allowed over at his house. Doesn't matter to him that I'm anti-CCP. Dude still called me commie and said all Chinese people are the same.

So my mom and I face-timed over the years. Never had another conversation with her husband after that one, until yesterday.

He called me using my mom's phone, so I was surprised to hear his voice. He said they adopted a dog and mom now wants to feed the dog some of her favourite things, including coffee. She wants to share it with her new pet. He already told her it's dangerous but she wouldn't listen so he called to ask me for my help. Wanted me to convince her it's a bad idea.

At first I was amused but then I realized it's an important matter so I told him to put my mom on the phone and told her that caffeine is poisonous for dogs. That as much as I hate admitting it her husband's right.

She sounded frustrated and said that just a little bit won't hurt, and that her dog should get to try some delicious stuff instead of just dog food and treats. That reminded me of the time she tried to give my little cousin cake containing peanuts which she was allergic to, but I didn't bring it up. I just told her not to call me complaining when she has to take her dog to the vet and gets a massive bill.

Mom asked if I was really serious, so I told her yes. She called me an alarmist, so I told my mom that 'If your piece of poo poo husband and I can agree on something, you should know it's serious.' I just couldn't stop myself from taking a shot at him.

My mom snapped at me, telling me that that attitude was uncalled for and that I should act my age instead of using insults.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 13:53

an expert: Jul 18, 2011

Shanghaied posted:

The OP, who has a vested interest in making her cousin look crazy, couldn't think of anything worse than 1) complained about going to the beach, 2) pulled heads off dolls one time, 3) crying one time. All of this before either of them turned twelve, after which the cousin moved away.

It's even ""better"" because with the cousin being NB and a tween at the time those examples actually are:
1) cried about having to choose between going to the beach (and likely wearing form-fitting highly gendered clothing) or being left out because of it
2) took apart a highly gendered toy (in a way that is easily fixable and extremely common to do even among cis kids)
3) cried when given gendered clothing while being unable/uncomfortable explaining it to people

And those are the best examples OP had, too, I bet any other examples she could come up with were cousin being even more obviously uncomfortable with labeled a girl/participating in "girlhood"

# ? Apr 21, 2024 14:03

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# ? May 17, 2024 19:22

mystes: May 31, 2006

an expert posted:

It's even ""better"" because with the cousin being NB and a tween at the time those examples actually are:
1) cried about having to choose between going to the beach (and likely wearing form-fitting highly gendered clothing) or being left out because of it
2) took apart a highly gendered toy (in a way that is easily fixable and extremely common to do even among cis kids)
3) cried when given gendered clothing while being unable/uncomfortable explaining it to people

And those are the best examples OP had, too, I bet any other examples she could come up with were cousin being even more obviously uncomfortable with labeled a girl/participating in "girlhood"

OP's actual belief is "being nonbinary/trans is a mental illness" and she doesn't want the cousin to go to the wedding because they will wear the "wrong" clothing for their AGAB so that is why the examples are specifically examples of gender dysphoria. She was just saying "BPD" because she knew people would be mad at her if she said what she actually believed. The good part is that everyone around her figured it out by the end, including her fiance.

mystes fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Apr 21, 2024

# ? Apr 21, 2024 14:07

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: it sounds like I'm having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

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