Baronjutter posted:

Also no bar is that special, there's no establishment worth waiting more than 5-10 min to get into. Just go somewhere else if there's a big line. Clubs/bars with huge lines are rarely any good, they exist pretty much to make a certain type of person feel cool and special to be in the *exclusive* bar. Our monkey brain sees a big line and people being rejected and thinks that makes us special if we manage to get in. Inside the drinks are just more expensive, that's it. There's a loving brunch place by my house that always has a 45+ min line with huge crowds gathered out front. It used to be above average, but they earned a reputation and advertised heavily and now they coast on mediocre food and the huge line tricking people into thinking its surely the most fancy and exclusive brunch spot in town. There's way better bunch a block away for less money and no round-the-block lineup.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Yeah, at this point anyone trying to bring the thread back to the asinine discussion of what kinds of animal abuse stories should and should not be allowed is going to be taking the afternoon off.

quote:

A month into our relationship my boyfriend and I were drunkenly texting. He told me he wanted to tell me a secret but was really nervous to tell me. After some coaxing he admitted to me he liked wearing women's underwear. I was a little shocked initially, not because of the kink, but because I have never dated anyone with a different kind of fetish. He kept apologizing to me and telling me he was weird. I told him I didn't think it was weird, I've heard about this fetish before, that it was just different for me because I've never been with anyone with a fetish like that. It didn't change how I felt about him in the least bit. To the point where I completely forgot about the conversation. He didn't bring it up again after that weekend, and I'm ashamed to say it was in the back of my mind. I was at a music festival that weekend so there was a lot going on.

Fast forward 5 months later: This past Saturday we went out dancing and drinking. We had an amazing night, and he told me he falls in love with me more every day. I adore our relationship and everything about this man. We were pretty tipsy (him more than me) and when we got home I could tell something was on his mind. He kept looking at me and had this funny smile. He joked about us getting really freaky that night a couple times. Our sex life is amazing, and I am very open sexually. He then said he wanted to tell me his deepest secret. I could tell he was really nervous. He asked me a couple times not to judge him, and I ensured him that I never would. He told me he told me this secret before and I insisted that I didn't remember. When he told me it was the weekend I was at that festival I slightly remembered the conversation but still couldn't remember what was said. He told me he would show me.

We went into his bedroom and he asked me a couple times to promise not to judge him. He then pulled out a pillow case he had hidden in some boxes and gave it to me. I opened it up expecting a vibrator or something but ended up pulling out a handful of women's panties. He asked me if I thought it was weird. Again I told him, no, not weird just different. I told him i was excited to explore this with him. I asked him if he got these from previous girlfriends, he told me no, he bought them. I also asked why he likes wearing them and if he had a favorite pair. He told me its because they are sexy, and he didn't know if he had a favorite. I was trying to get him to open up more, and reassure him that i didn't find this kink weird. Finally I asked him if he would wear a pair for me. He smiled and said yes. He asked me not to look as he put them on (He kept telling me not to peek, he was so nervous!) and then jumped under the covers.

We kissed and touched and made love. It was just as amazing, if not better, as it always is. I felt us grow ridiculously closer. We had sex a couple more times that night without incorporating the panties.

Today I spent the day with him before work doing yard work and hanging out. When we had sex I really wanted to ask him to put the panties on for me. I was just nervous and didn't know how to approach the subject. I don't want to overwhelm him, but also at the same time I want him to know that I am completely comfortable with him and his preferences. I am planning to buy him a pair as a gift, but before I do that I really want to talk to him and ask him questions about his likes and dislikes.

This leaves me here: I changed into my work uniform at hs house and threw my clothes in a drawer that he has for me (i spend about 3 nights a week at his house, we see each other every day almost. we are ridiculously close). I also happened to leave the panties I was wearing today in there. I've been contemplating telling him something along the lines of "hey baby, I left my underwear in my drawer in your room. I'm not sure how this really works, but if you'd like to try them on you can do that. I'd even really like it if you snapped a photo to show me if you want."

I just really don't want to make him uncomfortable. This is new territory for me, but I am so curious and have so many questions for him. I know he will open up to me eventually, but my question is this; do i tell him about the panties i left for him, ask him to wear things for me when it's sexy time? or do i just wait and let him introduce this side of him to me at his own pace?

TL;DR boyfriend just confessed to me that he likes to wear women's underwear. Still seems nervous to open up to me. Do I encourage him by asking him if he wants to try on the panties I left at his house or do I let him come to me when he's ready?

Shanghaied posted:

metachronos posted:

This is purely anecdotal but I feel like the picky eaters I know can barely look at coleslaw let alone eat it.

trickybiscuits posted:

Two days ago I was at my dad's house and I hugged his cat who did not want to be hugged, please do not judge me for my brutal actions. I was a different person then.

A sweet one:

Me (27F) and my boyfriend (23M) of 6 months, he confessed that he likes to wear women's underwear.


The supportiveness is just

Hughlander posted:

I read fidgeting as stimming

OOP loses her best friend and husband over a DNA test (not what you think).

Kenshin posted:

Did I miss something explicit, because there was nothing in there that gave me the impression the kid was neurodiverse, just sounded like a normal bright 11 year old

Snow Cone Capone posted:

y'all need to try some German Slaw or equivalent non-mayo based shredded cabbage/vinegar side

quote:

I (32) have been married to my soon to be ex-wife (30), Madison, for four years. We are currently in counseling but it is not going to work.

About a year ago I found out she was having an affair by coming home to their clothes in our living room and sounds coming from our bedroom.

I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I did not want to go to jail.

Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can.

I turned off my phone and got shitfaced with my buddy. His wife hosted us off in the morning.

After I turned my phone back on I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First scared because she got my updated flight information. Then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early. Then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged.

The guy she was with is five inches shorter than me and about 60 pounds lighter. So if he had taken my clothes it would be obvious.

He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare keys from his house. Unfortunately for him his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house. Where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes.

Long story short she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity. Which caused their prenup to be cancelled. Which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant poo poo show.

It took a couple of months but my wife convinced me to try and forgive her. We started going to counseling and we were working our way through it. Until recently.

In a counseling session she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it was my fault.

I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care.

I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced. And that I hope his ex takes everything.

I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce. Now that I know how she feels it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

Rather than throw them in the garbage can at McDonald's maybe he could have left them on the porch or in mailbox of the guys house(address probably in his wallet)

Bifner McDoogle posted:

I think people are just looking for an explanation for why the bride would be so weird about that kid and it kind of fits. That said, I can't see an neurodivergent person voluntarily eating coleslaw, so he may have just been the only non-white kid at the wedding for all I know.

Not dissing slaw, I just can't think of something that would turn away someone with texture preferences faster than soggy marinating cabbage. Of all the virtues it has, the mouthfeel isn't good.

limp_cheese posted:

That's a great idea, although I would suggest knocking on the door first and seeing if the wife is home so you can tell her where you found the clothes.

quote:

Hey everyone,

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for 2 years, and things have generally been great between us. However, a recent incident has left her feeling quite sad, and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it.

So, here's what happened: my dad recently saw my brother's boyfriend, and as any good host would, he offered him a glass of water and asked how school was. Now, this seemingly innocent gesture has made my gf feel replaced. She's expressed to me that she feels like she's not as special to my family anymore now that she's not the only daughter/son-in-law prospect.

I can understand where she's coming from to some extent but its not like my family forgot about her and stopped caring. She's always been quite close to my family, and I know she values her relationship with them a lot. But I never imagined that something as trivial as offering someone a glass of water could make her feel so sidelined.

How could I go about this?

Thanks for listening.

Crocobile posted:

Similar in theme to the “rejected” 40 year olds:

My (19M) Girlfriend (19F) is Upset That She's Not the Only Daughter-in-Law Anymore. How do I reassure her?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

A glass of water

AKA Pseudonym posted:

r/relationships: he offered him a glass of water and asked how school was

Shanghaied posted:

Nocheez posted:

I don't think the relationship can survive a "test" like this. All scenarios wind up in failure.

Cloacamazing! posted:

Fidgeting and picky eater might be clues towards neurodiversity, but also what kind of unnatural 11 year old wouldn't fidget during a boring wedding ceremony and stuff themselves with their favorite food at a buffet instead of trying new stuff? Could go either way, none of us are equipped to diagnose a random kid online based on the testimonial of their crazy aunt who thinks this counts as terrible behavior.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

He's lucky he never said anything confirming it was him cause he absolutely would go to jail for that even if the guy deserved it.

Rather than throw them in the garbage can at McDonald's maybe he could have left them on the porch or in mailbox of the guys house(address probably in his wallet)

FMguru posted:

Mmmm, delicious hand.

AITA for not giving my relatives back home a dime after staying over at their house for two weeks?

It turns out that hard manual labor sometimes strengthens the muscles around the spine.

Skilled labor, union benefits, civil service protections and pension, zero student loan debt - I'll bet this guy is doing better than most of my college graduate peers (and myself, if I'm being perfectly honest).

LOL at mom and dad trying to play the ~*~wE'rE a FaMiLy~*~ card.

Shanghaied posted:

quote:

she had her first sexual experience on a horse.

Pantaloon Pontiff posted:

I like how other weddings have problems like 'we had an open bar and my uncle got wasted and wouldn't stop feeling up the bridesmaids until we had security escort him out' and this guy's amazing tale of misbehavior is 'kid picked 4 items that he liked from the buffet to eat, and I harassed him to get other stuff he didn't like, and he didn't like it". If the stuff you picked for your buffet isn't grown-up enough for your wedding, that's really on you.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Hey, dont forget that an 11yo fodgeted and was tapping his feet during the vows ... like a monster

Kurieg posted:

AITA for gatekeeping my recipes from my one upper DIL

quote:

One day DIL ( I’ll call her Kelly)

quote:

I (27M) have two stepbrothers, Justin (30M) and Evan (27M), our parents have been married for 15 years. I was close to be both throughout my teen years, however Evan and I no longer speak since we were 22. This is entirely my fault as I slept with his recent ex-girlfriend. I hosed up and ruined our relationship, and he will likely never speak to me again. I deserve it, and do not blame Evan at all. Justin and my stepmother also didn't speak to me for a couple years.

Evan doesn't want to see me, and so we havent been in the same room since we were 22 either. how this works is basically Evan getting invited first to anything that Justin or our parents are planning, and I am invited if he can't make it. I know it's awkward, and that I've cause this situation, I am just glad to see them at all, so it isn't my place to complain.

Justin is getting married on Monday, and Evan is his best man. Justin and I haven't really talked about the wedding at all, since I'm obviously not invited it would be awkward to do so. I booked a trip overseas during the time of his wedding, to get away instead of being home and sad not to be there. I didn't tell Justin or our parents, because there was no need to bring it up. we all know I wasn't going to be there, and why.

on Friday night Justin tried to call me but I was sleep (middle of the night where I am right now). I got his message this morning asking me to call him, and saying Evan has agreed I could come to the wedding and that he really wants me there. if I was home the wedding would be 45mins away and I'd go in a heartbeat, but im in Europe with a friend from college.

I told Justin that unfortunately I can't make it because I'm away. now he's mad at me for not telling him I was going away, and for all the effort he spent in convincing Evan to let me come. but I never asked him to do that, and I would have told him not to because I don't think its fair to Evan who has sat a boundary. I'm not trying to cause him more pain.

Justin is pissed at me, and blocked me. one of cousins said he's furious, and said like Evan he's through with me. my dad called me later and told me if it's about money he'd buy my ticket home, but I explained its not just about money (although a lot of the trip is unrefundable). if it was just me I'd consider going home, but im traveling with a friend who didn't sign up to be in Europe for 10 days by himself.

My cousins and my dad think I'm being an rear end in a top hat not coming to the wedding. but I think it's unfair when the wedding is in two days. I know that the situation exists because of my actions, but AITA for not flying back tomorrow to attend the wedding?

edit: i know the majority said im NTA, but i spoke with my friend and im catching a flight home today (Monday) and coming back on Tuesday. I cant lose another brother or the opportunity to see evan. i dont think it was fair to ask, but i cant risk it.

quote:

firstly, I would say that I really did take into consideration a lot of the comments that said I've been punished by the family enough. Evan has the right to still be mad but after this length of time I think it's time the rest of my family start treating me as an equal member again.

I did fly home for the wedding. the friend who I was on vacation with was very agreeable to me going. I know the judgement was that I would not be TA for skipping, but I was just too scared to lose Justin too. Yes, I wanted to have the conversation about him treating me equally now, but to do that I first needed him to be speaking with me.

Unexpectedly, Justin actually picked me up from the airport. he was immediately apologetic for how he talked to me and the position he put me in in forcing me to fly home, and recognized it wasn't right or fair. he even offered to pay the cost of my tickets. I accepted his apology, but told him we could talk about it more later, it was his wedding day and the focus should be on him and that.

we drove to the hotel where he and my parents and the other groomsmen, including Evan where you staying. Evan came to my room shortly after I checked in. It wasn't a happy movie scene where we hugged and all was forgiven, it was really awkward, two people on eggshells. we just sorta agreed to have a good day for Justin, and talk at some later point. in the end I am glad I went to the wedding, as unfair as Justin asking was, it was pretty clear that having both me and Evan there that day meant a lot to him. I flew back out the next day to meet my friend.

since I've been back Evan and I have been talking and have met up. I've apologized again, but also he has forcing me out. he was (understandably) mad at me, and said he just could never seem to move past being mad, and it became easier to stay mad. but he missed me, he's wanted to call and then backed off doing so. we are slowly working on things. it's awkward, but getting better. I've met his gf and been to his apartment.

I did talk to Justin more about how unfair it was, and he agreed. as Evan is no longer demanding it be a 'him-or-i' choice, the conversation with Justin was easier. I would say that I was planning to man up and tell him I would no longer agree to that situation, and I hope I would have actually done so. but the situation no longer exists. he also did try to pay for my ticket again when I came back, but I didn't accept his offer.

hopefully the year continues on this positive direction.

Mordiceius posted:

AITA for not going to my brother's wedding after a late invite

Update: AITA for not going to my brother's wedding after a late invite

John Wick of Dogs posted:

You know one would assume, but it is not entirely clear if he slept with his brother's girlfriend and that's why she's his recent ex. Or if he slept with his brother's recent ex-girlfriend. Which is insane to me of his entire family threatening to go no contact.

quote:

they had dated for 5 years and had been broken up for a month, and he hadn't wanted the relationship to end. it was absolutely wrong of me, and I completely understand why he wants nothing to do with me. he was still in love with her and I knew that, because he was my brother and my best friend. I hosed up, and so I can't be defended for what I did 5 years ago. it was bad, it was wrong. if I could take it back I would. I don't think Evan is overreacting by cutting me out of his life, as much as I miss him and wish I could change it.