r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Make Paragraph Breaks Cool Again

# ? Apr 25, 2024 07:08

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:30

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

paragraph breaks? in THIS economy??

# ? Apr 25, 2024 07:12

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

�Paragraph break� to the tune of �Take a break� from Hamilton.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 07:57

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

ApplesandOranges posted:

�Paragraph break� to the tune of �Take a break� from Hamilton.

<TMNTjpg>goons are really bad at scansion</TMNTjpg>

# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:30

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Dude is also mad to find out that "best friend" isn't a permanent label you can slap on someone. It sucks to not have a best friend but you gotta put the work in as an adult. He's also mad that his "best friend" didn't take his side when he hosed over someone he had promised to care for. I've dumped best friends in the past when they showed me how quickly and totally they could turn on people when it suited them. It sucks at first but if they're lying to you then they're not even a good friend so you're better off without them.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:40

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Life hack: if you're ever on trial, tell the judge and prosecutor that you're best friends with them. They will then have to stick by you no matter what you do, cos that's what best friends are for. Live a life free of consequences, just as you deserve!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 08:48

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

Elissimpark posted:

I'm guessing they didn't live together before marriage - unless she was on depot injections, you'd think you'd notice the antipsychotic medications.

Do you look through partner's meds and know enough to recognize antipsychotic medications? I've dealt with a partner who had a psychotic break before, but I wouldn't recognize most of the meds they ended up taking by name. Pouring through someone's medications isn't something I usually do, and I'd accept a summary of 'this is the stuff I take' without trying to read all of the perscription bottles.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:01

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for not explaining to my sister why she was stupid for asking me to share my art supplies.

quote:

I babysit for my sister all the time. She pays me the same as anyone else. But she is a lot more entitled than anyone else.

My nephews are really good kids but spoiled. They eat when they are supposed to and a don't need to wrangle them much to get them to bed. However they are fascinated with my art supplies. I am not an artist. I just like to draw. I have a few apps on my iPad but I like my paper and pencils as well. I also have oil pastel crayons.

My nephews wanted to draw with them but I said no. They complained to my sister and she told me to let them draw with me.

The next time I came by I brought pencil crayons for them. Not good enough. They complained and she said I was being mean not sharing.

Time before last I just didn't bring anything except a book to read. She gave me poo poo for being immature.

Fine I gave up. I bought them them some cheap oil crayons. I gave them to her as I was leaving.

She called me today. She gave them the crayons but did not supervise them. She has spent the last two days trying to get the oil paint off her couch and carpet. She says my brother-in-law is pissed that I gave them art supplies that are so messy. I forwarded her the messages where she called me childish and mean for not sharing. I offered to send them to her husband so he could know whose idea it was.

She is mad and demanding that I watch them for free to pay her back for the cleaning. I just said I would not watch the kids any more. She tried to trick me by not having cash when I showed up. I said I was leaving since I didn't trust that she would pay me. Strangely she actually had the cash.

She did call our mom and tell on me for giving the kids oil paints without warning her.

My mom wants me to keep the peace and offered to pay me to watch the kids and let my sister think she won. I'm thinking about it. But my sister still thinks I did it on purpose.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:03

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not explaining to my sister why she was stupid for asking me to share my art supplies.

YTA for enabling her entitled behaviour with your mom

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:10

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

give the kids even more oil crayons as an apology

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:22

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Where exactly is she finding plastic duct tape on such extreme short notice

if you didn't hate capitalism, consumerism and the continued destruction of the planet for cheap plastic tat enough....

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:36

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

AceClown posted:

5 people I've witnessed using the restroom in 24 years of life

I'm 42 and I haven't witnessed 5 people on the bog. Certainly no-one in my family. Am I weird?

(I'm not American so even our military installations have real doors on toilet stalls. e: Well, the ones I saw. Just in case someone was going to make that point.)

e: And what does being fat have to do with using or not using (which doesn't happen) the seat ring? I'm Amerifat and I've never even considered it.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:45

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Kurieg posted:

Also a bridezilla

AITA for refusing to let my sister dress me up as a Disney princess for her wedding?

mulan is a disney princess, right?

AceClown posted:

if you didn't hate capitalism, consumerism and the continued destruction of the planet for cheap plastic tat enough....

these appeal to me for the same reason micro machines and model trains do. it is a tiny version of larger thing! brain release dopamine while viewing it.

but also yeah it's consumerism++

Kitfox88 fucked around with this message at 10:07 on Apr 25, 2024

# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:01

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

3D Megadoodoo posted:

I'm 42 and I haven't witnessed 5 people on the bog. Certainly no-one in my family. Am I weird?

(I'm not American so even our military installations have real doors on toilet stalls. e: Well, the ones I saw. Just in case someone was going to make that point.)

e: And what does being fat have to do with using or not using (which doesn't happen) the seat ring? I'm Amerifat and I've never even considered it.

Geez, do you demand your doctor explain the meaning and consequences of each result in your bloodwork? Or that your plumber justify the length and orientation of each pipe and fitting? Defer to the education and experience of the guy who has watched 5 other people take dumps and start sitting on the porcelain, you insufferable jerk!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:47

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

The Bramble posted:

Geez, do you demand your doctor explain the meaning and consequences of each result in your bloodwork?

Yes, of course I do?

# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:05

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Kitfox88 posted:

mulan is a disney princess, right?

And she wears a dress at one point. Which is how she's depicted in 99% of Disney merch (I live not far from Orlando in Florida, that poo poo is everywhere).

Three guesses whether the sister would let her wear anything but the fancy Chinese dress.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Imagine preparing for your wedding day when you'll be marrying the love of your life and what you're focused on the most is forcing your sibling to wear something they've been on record for years as finding extremely uncomfortable.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:51

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

cant relate, my sister would absolutely wear a seashell bra and be ariel for my wedding

# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:58

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Look, Wildwing Flashblade IS a Disney character, technically.

And Mira Nova is even also a princess!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:00

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Imagine preparing for your wedding day when you'll be marrying the love of your life and when you get to the altar there's just a miniature plastic figurine of your future spouse waiting for you and they're nowhere to be found.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:04

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day

quote:

So I'm absolutely loving obsessed with the Fruit Adventure flavor of Tic-Tacs. The flavor combined with the soft smush they make between your teeth when you chew them makes my brain very happy. I've been buying them in bulk, where each container has 200 candies each, and they come in bulk packs of 12 containers. I tend to eat them by the handful while I'm working or gaming, so in a day I can easily slam through 1-2 containers.

Now keep in mind that on the nutrition label, it says the serving size is 1 candy, and is listed as having 0 calories, which I thought was awesome because I could have as many as I want!

Over the past year, I found that I gained about 40lbs, and nothing about my eating habits had changed as far as I was aware. I told my doctor about it and she was a bit worried, so she had me do a bunch of bloodwork to see if there was a reason why I gained so much weight in a short period of time. Everything came back normal. She referred me to see a weight loss doctor who would also have me see a dietician.

I had been working with the dietician for a few months now, and we have me keep a food log. I had a virtual visit with her today and during it, I was fiddling around with an empty container to keep my hands busy. She saw it and asked where I got such a large container from, so I told her about it and how I eat 1-2 of those per day. She asked why those weren't on my food tracker and I said it was because they're 0 calories so they wouldn't count.

Apparently I was very, very wrong about this. She explained to me that food companies can label something as being "0 calories" if the food's serving size contains 5 or less calories. In reality, each individual Tic-Tac actully has about 2 calories. So essentially, since each container has 200 pieces and I typically have 1-2 of those, I've been eating 400-800+ calories per day of Tic-Tacs, in addition to all the other food I've been eating - which is very likely why I've gained so much weight.

TL;DR: Didn't realize that tic-tacs weren't actually 0 calories and gained a ton of weight because I eat so many a day.

Edit: Just wanted to clarify that I'm aware that sugar will in fact make you gain weight (I'm not that stupid), but I never actually read the product ingredients. I assumed they must have been made with something like Xylitol or some other artificial sweetener to make them "0 calories" so it never crossed my mind to check!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:10

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day

perfect post/AV combination

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:14

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day

seems like someone read the tic-tac factoid on TIL and made up a boring story about it

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:14

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day

Eating that much xylitol ( :finland:

) in a day would make itself known pretty darn quick like, big time stylee.

Anyway I was reminded of the time I saw a whole box of apple straps at a discount store (when I were a lad they cost 50 pennies a piece at a kiosk!) for like two euros and I bought it and I ate them all and then it was a very unpleasant time for Megadoodoo's momma's boy because all the acidity really gets you coming out. Thanks for reading.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:15

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day
Edit: Just wanted to clarify that I'm aware that sugar will in fact make you gain weight (I'm not that stupid), but I never actually read the product ingredients. I assumed they must have been made with something like Xylitol or some other artificial sweetener to make them "0 calories" so it never crossed my mind to check!

I'm not stupid, I just assumed that eating several hundred pieces of candy every single day is totally cool.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:17

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

boofhead posted:

Life hack: if you're ever on trial, tell the judge and prosecutor that you're best friends with them. They will then have to stick by you no matter what you do, cos that's what best friends are for. Live a life free of consequences, just as you deserve!

Alternatively, marry the prosecutor and then they have to recuse themselves.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:28

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Cythereal posted:

And she wears a dress at one point. Which is how she's depicted in 99% of Disney merch (I live not far from Orlando in Florida, that poo poo is everywhere).

Three guesses whether the sister would let her wear anything but the fancy Chinese dress.

Leia is a Disney princess now, AND her Disney princess outfit is a white dress for maximum impact.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:33

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

R/relationships: I've been eating 400-800+ calories per day of Tic-Tacs

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:36

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Biplane posted:

Leia is a Disney princess now, AND her Disney princess outfit is a white dress for maximum impact.

Disney owns the Aliens franchise so the Xenomorph Queen is also an option.

vvv :hmmyes:

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 14:07 on Apr 25, 2024

# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:57

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Maxwell Q. Klinger is a Disney princess too, so olive drab pants and a dirty Toledo Mudhens jersey is valid too.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:01

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

I am informed that Disney also owns Rocky Horror Picture Show.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:10

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Biplane posted:

Leia is a Disney princess now, AND her Disney princess outfit is a white dress for maximum impact.

So is it okay to dress up as Leia for someone else�s Disney wedding?

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:24

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Halloween Jack posted:

So is it okay to dress up as Leia for someone else�s Disney wedding?

Yes, but only if you wear the gold bikini

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:37

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Batterypowered7 posted:

Imagine preparing for your wedding day when you'll be marrying the love of your life and when you get to the altar there's just a miniature plastic figurine of your future spouse waiting for you and they're nowhere to be found.

And when you turn tearfully to her parents, they just look confused and remark on how it's so strange that random things keep shrinking in this church.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:47

lifg: Dec 4, 2000; <this tag left blank>; Muldoon

Pope Corky the IX posted:

So from now on April 25th is Anniversary Day

Happy Anniversary!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:03

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for letting someone skip my bachelorette party and not telling them new details that would've changed their mind?

quote:

Apologies in advance as I had a hard time writing the situation in a single sentence. My brother has been trying to push me to get closer to his girlfriend "Mary" (together 3 months). I've done my best to get to know her (initiating dinners, trying her hobbies with her, etc.) but we honestly don't really get along.

I personally think she's a snob (she complimented my designer bag, but took the compliment back when she found out it was thrifted. As in literally said "yike, I take that back") while she thinks I lack "culture and sophistication" (also something she's mentioned when trying to convince me to do a "makeover" with her).

The issue is that I'm getting married this year, and my brother has been REALLY trying to get her involved. I put my foot down with the bridal party since they've only been dating for 3 months and I don't know her, but he insisted that I invite her to the bachelorette. It was originally supposed to be super lowkey and local. Mary tried to push for something more extravagant, but it really wasn't in my budget. When I wouldn't budge, she told us something came up that weekend and she couldn't go.

I was later surprised by my friends who had come together to organize a lavish weekend through favors and points (i.e. one of my friend's aunts works for a spa, so she was able to get discounted packages, another used her travel points to book a suite, etc.). I was not told about this, and was truly and happily surprised.

The issue is that Mary found out when we posted pictures and she was PISSED. My brother is now saying that I deliberately left her out, but she told me she was busy! Mary said that if she had known what the weekend was like though, she would have rearranged her schedule. I feel conflicted because I suspect that my friends didn't tell Mary on purpose, but they're claiming they made these plans after Mary bowed out and didn't reach back out since she was busy.

My brother still says I should have double checked and made more of an effort to let Mary know my plants, so I figured I'd ask the internet for their thoughts!

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:16

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

There's something obnoxious about Mary.

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:19

TengenNewsEditor: Apr 3, 2004

artsy fartsy posted:

TIFU by not telling my doctor how many Tic-Tacs I eat per day

they got this from /r/loopholestuffers along with the pickle lady

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:24

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Cythereal posted:

And she wears a dress at one point. Which is how she's depicted in 99% of Disney merch (I live not far from Orlando in Florida, that poo poo is everywhere).

Three guesses whether the sister would let her wear anything but the fancy Chinese dress.

Lol yeh a lot of Mulan merch is part of the Disney princess line (despite Mulan not being a princess, the Princesses line was born in 1999, one year after Mulan's release, and they wanted the line to be diverse) and since that merch is specifically geared at little girls, the Mulan versions they use are:

1) Her in her matchmaker outfit in full makeup from the beginning (the same makeup she wipes off in her big song number as not representing her)

2) the dress from the end of the film where she's in a dress bc their strategy for breaking into the palace was dressing as courtesans. The merch line even upgraded it to like, a sparkly fancy version of this dress where she's full courtesan :psyduck:

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Apr 25, 2024

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:45

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:30

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

But soldier mulan is the coolest mulan

# ? Apr 25, 2024 15:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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