r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

More of the most wholesome type of stories - clueless lesbians

How do I react when my gf shows me her boobs

quote:

She is my first gf, I stopped by her house to drop the flowers I got her off because she forgot them and she came out we hugged kissed etc and then she said �Want to see my boobs?� And then opened her jacket to reveal her bra and all I could get out was �hi are you okay� idk where that even came from I embarrassed myself😭

"Hi, are you okay?" has to be the funniest response to someone offering to show you their boobs I've ever heard.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:21

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 15:37

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

kakotheres posted:

This is literally my job lmao! I am organizing, rehousing and cataloging a collection of over half a million invertebrate fossils. However, now I wish they were all alive, that would be way better!!

I dunno, fossils seem a lot easier to keep track of and more clean and well behaved.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 15:26

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I dunno, fossils seem a lot easier to keep track of and more clean and well behaved.

Yeah, everybody decries opening the can of worms, but nobody ever stops to think about the poor schlub whose job it is to get the worms into the can in the first place. Truly, an unsung hero.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 15:29

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

artsy fartsy posted:

WIBTA for dumping my girlfriend after she ignored my calls and messages and went clubbing while I was undergoing emergency surgery.

This one got an update. tl;dr - OP is battling five years of sunk cost fallacy, and seems to be making some headway

quote:

First of all, I would like to clear up some misconceptions brewing in the comment section of my last Post.

No, I have never pulled any malicious pranks on my girlfriend to get her to come home early from a night out or anything, neither do I have an issue with her going out (as long as she doesn't come home at like 6 am). And no, I've never blown up her phone like that while she was out with friends. We usually go out together since we share the same friend groups.

Here are mine and her messages from WhatsApp in order since people thought I just texted her "my balls hurt" or something (translated)

Me: declined my first 2 calls (her name) please come home something is wrong.
Her: ??? can't talk rn. What is it 😒
Me: Tried calling her again. I need to go to the hospital.
Her: ???? What
Me: Again tried calling her twice. My Balls hurt. Please come NOW. Something is wrong
Her: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me: tried calling her again twice after calling emergency services.
Her: I swear don't bother me again or I'm blocking you. Let me loving enjoy my night out.
Me: Tried calling her again twice and got blocked. (At this point, the pain was too bad to try anything with her anymore and I just called an ambulance)
Her next message after unblocking me at 2 am: (my name) Why the gently caress is there vomit in the living room and where the gently caress are you? Why is the front door unlocked if you left somewhere?

She then went into a full mental breakdown as she realized I was being serious about going to the hospital (over 70 messages)

- Yes, it was stupid of me to expect her to drive me to the hospital since she was drinking, but again, In that type of pain, you don't think clearly. I think I needed her more for moral support and I did it out of pure instinct.
- Not immediately calling an ambulance was also stupid of me. I was in a lot of pain, but stupidly at the time thought that whatever I was going through would eventually calm down and driving to the hospital would be better than calling an ambulance. Also, in hindsight, me being embarrassed about calling an ambulance over "my balls" was definitely also really stupid.
- The amount of mental gymnastics some of you did in my comments to paint me as some sort of dweeb or "emotionally needy" person for bothering my gf was truly mind-blowing to me. I promise you if my gf was in my position and I ignored her, none of you would be defending me.

Now for the update. Thank for all those who wished me a speedy recovery. I'm doing much better now. Not being able to go to work for the next 3 weeks is definitely a bummer. I work for my dad's construction company, and my job requires lifting a lot of heavy weights. I'm also prohibited from having any sex for the next 2-3 weeks as well. I might have also developed some trauma due to the pain. I randomly get the same sensation again, and it's driving me nuts (see what I did there).

As for me and my gf. It's complicated. As so many of you and my mom told me, 5 years is definitely a long time to be just throwing away without having a proper conversation with her. So I did just that. I told her how hurt I felt by everything. I mentioned the following points.

- Her ignoring my messages and declining my calls (yes clubs are loud but where I'm from there are smoking areas where you can definitely have a conversation over the phone.)
- Blocking me after I tried calling her.
- Her not checking on me once even though the club she went to is only a 5-minute walk from our apartment.
- Her being angry about the vomit instead of being concerned.

After hearing that she got defensive and told me that I could have conveyed my situation better and that she genuinely thought I was joking. She was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. She also told me that It couldn't have been THAT painful and I was over exaggerating. I then told her yes I could have phrased my messages better and I apologized for that but I then described the pain I was in and told her that I barely had the strength to text her, let alone send her a detailed description of what was happening to me and definitely couldn't think straight throughout everything.

After hearing what I said she started crying and apologizing for what she did. She told me if she knew how serious it was, we wouldn't have been having this conversation. She then also apologized for her being mad over the vomit. According to her she was drunk and tired and was just expressing frustration. I then asked her why she thought I was joking and if she was cheating on me because this was seriously out of character for her, hence why I immediately trusted her with this. She started crying harder and she looked like I just slapped her in the face. She told me that she just thought I was being insecure about her being in the club with a bunch of guys and no she wasn't cheating on me and would never do something like that. We then hugged for a solid 10 minutes after that.

The next part was really hard for me but I told her I need some space to gather my thoughts and told her she needs to stay with her parents for the time being. She immediately started having a mental breakdown and asked If I was breaking up with her. I told her I wasn't sure and needed time to see If I still trusted her after all of this and what she did was beyond disrespectful. How could I trust someone with my life after they pulled something like this? I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity, this entire situation was an important life lesson for the both of us regardless if we stayed together.

After begging a bit more she then put her head down and started packing a few essentials. Before leaving she told she would be willing to do anything to make up for this and that I could take as much time as I needed. She then gave me a big kiss and left. That was two days ago and this is where we currently stand. I still give her updates on my healing but besides that we don't contact each other.

I'm really torn right now. I still don't have that trust in her but her owning up to her mistake shows that she knows she hosed up and is remorseful. This is definitely something out of the ordinary for her, but there will have to be major boundaries and new rules set. I can think of the following.

- If she blocks me again for anything = blocking herself from ever seeing me again
- Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore
- If she goes out alone again, she has to pick up if I call regardless of the situation
- As many of you suggested having an emergency code like "hospital" or something would probably have to be implemented.

I'm not going to abuse any of these boundaries but I just want peace of mind knowing that my partner has my best interest at heart even when she is physically not around me but idk.

Again I just want to thank you guys for everything and this whole experience was definitely an eye-opener for me.

Should I get back together with her? If yes, would my demands be reasonable and could I add something more?

WIBTA if I dumped her over this whole saga?

Commenters are urging OP to just dump her rear end already.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:10

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

She was still denying that he was in extreme pain at all even after he puked everywhere and went through surgery so it doesn't SEEM like she quite got it

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:25

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

WIBTA if I put a lien against my parents' house and sued them for my college tuition?

quote:

I, 17F, am graduating high school next month and am set to attend my first-choice college with a partial scholarship in the fall. It's an instate school about an hour away, and because of my dual enrollment credits, I should only be 5 semesters from finishing my bachelor's degree and then going for the master's degree I need for the career I want.

Five years ago my Mamaw, (mom's mom) died, leaving behind a college fund for me and my siblings, Kyle (M25) and Kelsey (F22). Mom's Aunt Teresa was supposed to oversee it, but she died in 2020, and somehow my parents wound up in charge. I don't know all the details because I was 12 when Mamaw died and 14 when Aunt Teresa died. I'm not even sure exactly how it was structured or how much there was, except that it was supposed to be enough to cover a significant amount of our expenses if not everything.

Kelsey is a fine arts major and her first year of college was derailed by lockdowns, and she wound up losing an entire year. She was supposed to go back for her final year next fall just as I am starting college, but last night at our Grandpa's birthday dinner (Dad's dad) she announced that she had been invited to participate in a Junior Artist in Residence study program and was deferring her last year of college. Everyone congratulated her and my grandparents asked about what sort of stipend she was getting. She said there wasn't one, but Mamaw's money would cover her living expenses.

My uncle said that between me starting college and them covering that, the fund would be empty soon, and would her share be enough to pay for her final year after? That's when my dad said that since I had scholarships and my sister needed it more, I wouldn't be getting any of the money Mamaw left for us. Everyone was shocked and started asking questions, but my parents insisted that it was important to support my sister's artistic goals "the way we never were", and that I'd be fine.

When my grandparents argued with them, Mom said I could take out loans for what my scholarship didn't cover and live at home to save money. I was in tears and my sister was upset that people weren't happier for her. When my uncle asked if there was even going to be money left for my sister to go back and graduate, my parents said they would take out a loan against the house to cover it.

Everyone got in a huge argument and my parents and sister left. My grandparents, uncle, and aunt got to talking and my uncle, who is a lawyer, says he's going to look into it and that we may have to sue them for my share of the college money because he believes they mismanaged it. My grandparents are worried about them mortgaging the house and losing it, and suggested we take out a lien against the house for my tuition money so they can't use it to get a loan to pay for my sister's expenses.

WIBTA if I sued my parents for my college tuition and put a lien against their house like my grandparents suggested?

Wonder who the golden child is. Love the idea of them wanting her to live at home and commute an hour each way for college.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:36

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 28 days!

FMguru posted:

This one got an update. tl;dr - OP is battling five years of sunk cost fallacy, and seems to be making some headway

quote:

I then told her that we are young and this mess was mostly caused by our immaturity

I mean yeah, drunk 22 year olds have made stupider mistakes than this. She sounds extremely remorseful. They could probably move on from it, but this relationship also started in high school, so lol at it surviving much longer.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:39

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Brawnfire posted:

She was still denying that he was in extreme pain at all even after he puked everywhere and went through surgery so it doesn't SEEM like she quite got it

lol yeah, �sorry I got mad at you for puking on the carpet� doesn�t quite cover the issue at hand

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:51

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

FMguru posted:

This one got an update. tl;dr - OP is battling five years of sunk cost fallacy, and seems to be making some headway

Commenters are urging OP to just dump her rear end already.

Seriously, just break up already. You don't want to become the person that asks for this:

quote:

- If she blocks me again for anything = blocking herself from ever seeing me again
- Ignoring my messages will not be tolerated anymore
- If she goes out alone again, she has to pick up if I call regardless of the situation

I guess I'm still mostly on his side in this, but jfc next time just text and say that you have a medical emergency (which he did not do once, btw) and call the loving ambulance. It obviously doesn't apply in this case because the GF was at a club, but adults often end up in situations where they can't look at their phones. Call the loving ambulance!

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Apr 28, 2024

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:54

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

idiotsavant posted:

Solution: don't go do coke and "hang out" at your apartment for an hour with guys you "sort of know" from the bar. If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, everyone's gonna think it's a duck, dumbass

I just watched a true crime video about a guy who went to party with some people he met at a bar in a hotel room and they argued, beat him up, and then killed him. Couldn't find the name but it's a good reason not to do drugs with people you "sort of know." It could be dangerous.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Reddit stories involving apartment locks always weird me out with how open everyone leaves their places. I remember multiple unrelated stories involving people randomly entering someone's apartment, and the discussion goes "well have you tried locking the door?" "no, I don't want to do that"

There was some story shared a while back about someone who kept leaving their apartment/dorm suite door unlocked so one of their roommates faked a robbery, messing stuff up and taking valuables from the shared area and the OP's room into their own room. I couldn't find the story but found something else. This is just the title because the story is long and the title sums it up perfectly: TIFU by forgetting to lock my apartment door and getting robbed, but ultimately the thief just did my dishes and stole some weed.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:58

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

FMguru posted:

This one got an update. tl;dr - OP is battling five years of sunk cost fallacy, and seems to be making some headway

Commenters are urging OP to just dump her rear end already.

quote:

- As many of you suggested having an emergency code like "hospital" or something would probably have to be implemented.

"Hospital" already is an emergency code!

# ? Apr 28, 2024 17:59

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Shanghaied posted:

but jfc next time just text and say that you have a medical emergency (which he did not do once, btw)

At the risk of starting a pedantic argument over semantics, I would think that texting "[needing] to go to the hospital" qualifies as saying that he has a medical emergency.

But yes, treating pain is more important than any shame, and next time he should call 911 immediately.

AITA for calling my brothers girlfriend ridiculous when she said my brother painting my nails was "creepy"?

quote:

I (33F) met my brother (30M)'s girlfriend (29F) at a family dinner last night, they've been dating for six months and now things are getting slightly more serious he wanted her to meet me and our parents. Things were going well and we were all having a nice time, after dinner when we were all having drinks my brother told me my nails were driving him nuts and jokingly asked me if i'd painted them blindfolded. Now I felt i'd done a good job with them but I have shaky hands and of the two of us he's always been better at painting nails as he was a goth in Highschool.

He stated he couldn't take staring at them and went to our parent room to raid our Mums makeup. Then at the dining table he removed my polish and began to paint them afresh, this is nothing new to our family and basically summed up our teenage years. Our parents laughed and joked about it and all the times we'd gotten nail polish on various tables. My Brothers girlfriend seemed uncomfortable and was quiet and just drinking her wine, I asked her if she was ok and she mumbled she was fine but as my brother kept painting my nails she seemed more and more uncomfortable. He picked up on it and checked if she was ok pausing in painting my nails.

His girlfriend then shrugged and said it was just odd to her and honestly seemed creepy to her, as it was just so strange. This had us all a bit baffled and we laughed a little uncomfortably unsure what to say about this, she seemed to get upset by this though and and stressed it was creepy and normal families aren't like this. I got a touch annoyed at this and told her she was being ridiculous and there is nothing at all creepy about painting nails.

The mood dipped a lot after this and she asked my brother to take her home, he complied but clearly wasn't happy. In hindsight i'm worried maybe I took it too far calling her ridiculous, I just didn't like her calling what was a bonding moment for me and my brother in our youth "creepy" but I perhaps should have read into her thinking it's not normal for families to be like this, perhaps her home life wasn't as nice as ours growing up. I just worry I was too harsh considering it was our first meeting. Maybe I should reach out to her to try and apologise? I texted my brother today to see if things were ok on the drive home and he said it'd been mostly silent and she hasn't talked to him today and he's just honestly confused by her reaction.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:10

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for calling my brothers girlfriend ridiculous when she said my brother painting my nails was "creepy"?

quote:
I just worry I was too harsh considering it was our first meeting.

I mean sure, it's a little harsh, but she started it by calling the entire family "creepy" on their first meeting, so I feel it's mostly on her.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:20

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Kurieg posted:

Love the idea of them wanting her to live at home and commute an hour each way for college.

All other dumb stuff aside, I did that for a couple years and it suuuucked. Highlights including staying there all day in the summer when I had a morning and evening class with nothing in between (because who wants to add another two hours of driving), and spinning off the road and totaling a car after a bad snowstorm (because 98% of students don't have a big commute, and they won't excuse absences if the school's open). I get really stressed living with roommates, but even with that, switching to dorm life was just so much better.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:26

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Shanghaied posted:

I mean sure, it's a little harsh, but she started it by calling the entire family "creepy" on their first meeting, so I feel it's mostly on her.

I do wonder if her issue is the closeness between siblings or the brother doing something stereotypically feminine

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:44

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Captain Hygiene posted:

All other dumb stuff aside, I did that for a couple years and it suuuucked. Highlights including staying there all day in the summer when I had a morning and evening class with nothing in between (because who wants to add another two hours of driving), and spinning off the road and totaling a car after a bad snowstorm (because 98% of students don't have a big commute, and they won't excuse absences if the school's open). I get really stressed living with roommates, but even with that, switching to dorm life was just so much better.

I did it my first year of uni (also about an hour each way) and I wish I'd gone and stayed in halls instead. I moved in with some friends for my second year and never moved back with my parents again.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:47

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

trickybiscuits posted:

I just watched a true crime video about a guy who went to party with some people he met at a bar in a hotel room and they argued, beat him up, and then killed him. Couldn't find the name but it's a good reason not to do drugs with people you "sort of know." It could be dangerous.
[/b]

But the people I know well won't share their drugs with me anymore.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:55

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Shanghaied posted:

Seriously, just break up already. You don't want to become the person that asks for this:

I still feel for the girlfriend. It wasn't like she believed he was in pain and told him to man up or some bullshit like that, she really thought he was joking. I think she'll be extra cautious about this kind of thing from now on.

I say this having been in the guy's place, sort of. I once fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night in horrible pain, and it only got worse. I couldn't even stand up without passing out, and I just ended up on the hallway floor, writhing and barely able to form sentences. I managed to yell for my then-husband who was asleep in the bedroom, who finally got up and handed me some Tylenol or something then went back to bed, leaving me on the floor alone for the rest of the night in so much agony I couldn't even cry.

Logically I know he wasn't an uncaring person, and that he didn't even fully wake up or later remember what happened. I was too far gone to get him to come back out or explain what was going on. Sometimes I'd remember what happened and I'd get so pissed off. But again, I knew this guy pretty well, and if he'd been fully awake I'm sure he would have handled things differently.

So I hope they can work it out, but I also get why that feeling of being neglected and abandoned during a time of extreme pain and stress might may be too overwhelming to get over.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:00

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Part 1

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITAH for throwing out my SIL and her family.

Part 2

caterpillaropera posted:

UPDATE AITAH for throwing out my SIL and her family

Part 3:
UPDATE 2 AITAH for throwing out my SIL and her family.

quote:

Yesterday was a long day at my in laws.

We went early to get it over and done with. My in laws started with the guilt trip first. They mentioned that they would take them in until they found a place, but due to FIL diabetese it wouldn't be good for his health. I told them to tell their daughter to parent her children so they wouldn't run around amok like monkeys. That way they could stay with them as they have spare bedrooms.

That didn't land well with SIL. She went on a tirade of how I have always been jealous of her and that I was trying to drive a wedge between her and her brother. I told her she didn't like her own life so me being jealous of her and her life was a stretch that required suspenion of reality.

She asked my husband if he was okay with me telling him what to do with his family as he always stays out of my family's business. She told him to lay down the law and tell me that his siter and her family would stay AS LONG AS IT TOOK THEM to find a new place to stay. My husband was having none of that. He told her that the house was mine just as much his and it was a two yes and one no deal. Just because I was stay at home now didn't mean that I didn't contribute to buying the house when I was working.

The younger brother and his wife said they wouldn't be able to host them as they had his MIL staying due to the baby.

The older ones mentioned the refurbishments.

Both the younger and the older ones wives said that I was making it up about the cleanliness as she always kept her own house clean and kept their places clean. They told me to suck it up and act like family.

I told them I wasn't there to argue about her cleanliness as I saw what I saw and her brother was witness to it and had to clean it up. He confirmed that he did and that I wasn't making it up. My SIL slipped up and said, why did you clean it up to her brother, because according to her I was meant to clean it up. Either she is the dumbest bitch alive to admit it or she knows she has the whole family in her pocket. Either way I made it clear she wasn't going to stay with me and because she got along much better with everyone else in the family they would figure out something around their own lives.

My husband told his niece that she was old enough to clean up the remaining mess, but she said no. Her father jumped in and said she is your niece, but my daughter don't you dare tell her what to do. It got heated between them so they both had to walk it off.

I told her and her husband that the only reason me and my husband where there was to get money back for the bin we had to throw out due to her sprinkling biohazards around the house. She laughed in my face and said it would never happen. I said fine. I hope you realise that when I threw you out I didn't pack all your belongings. I still had her daughters Switch, her husbands and her two younger ones tablets and some of her jewellery, and a few other bit and pieces as it all happened so quickly that day. It would all be sold to recuperate my cost.

We left, but she was yelling loudly about what she would do to me if I dared to sell anyhing. My husband has my back and he said go ahead and sell whatever you need to.

Later on they kept texting my husband to do them one last favor by putting up with her for a few months until she got back on her feet. I told him that no matter what I wouldn't agree to let her, her slobby husband and her hoard of children back in.

They texted me too, guilting me about his nieces education. With no place to stay close to her school she might have to start at another school if they get a rental which isn't in the school zone.

I texted back tough luck and blocked them. My husband won't block his parents but was pissed at his brothers for telling him that he was selfish to not take them in as they were in a hard place in their lives. They did admit it was gross but excused her behavior by texting that maybe I did something to aggravate it.

To top this off, the oldest wife left a voice message through her husband's number to my husbands whatsapp. She said, I kid you not...."you are still ok to watch ***** (her 6 year old) on Tuesdays and Wednesdays like usual". I told him to say, "figure out what the answer to that request is".

So that is where we are at now.

Commentor posted:

I now need to know why they ended up homeless in the first place.

OP posted:

That one is easy, let me fill you in. If anyone gets anything new in the family, she has to have it too even though they don't need it or can't afford it on his salary. She quit working after her fourth. It was cheaper for her to look after their horde of children than sending them to daycare.

We bought two new cars, guess what they did?

The older brother and his wife paid for vacation to Japan for their older two and guess who went to Japan with all of their children.

Youngest was gifted an emerald ring by her husband when she found out she was pregnant when she had struggled with getting pregnant. Guess who bought a similar ring?

Older sis in law had a baby, so she had one too. I had one, she decided to have one too. When the youngest wife had one she started for pregnancy again, saying that if I could be an old mother so can she (I am only a year and a few months older than her, and my son is a toddler). Yet, I am the one jealous of her according to her.

They are both financially irresponsible. FIL and MIL have bailed them out on more than one occasion. Considering all of that, they are planning on more children even though they can't afford the eight that they already have.

Mordiceius fucked around with this message at 19:06 on Apr 28, 2024

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:01

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

artsy fartsy posted:

I still feel for the girlfriend. It wasn't like she believed he was in pain and told him to man up or some bullshit like that, she really thought he was joking. I think she'll be extra cautious about this kind of thing from now on.

So I hope they can work it out, but I also get why that feeling of being neglected and abandoned during a time of extreme pain and stress might may be too overwhelming to get over.

Yah, no.

quote:

She also told me that It couldn't have been THAT painful and I was over exaggerating.

Even days later after emergency surgery and a hospital stay, during a come to Jesus talk, she is still minimizing it.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:05

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Hughlander posted:

Yah, no.

Even days later after emergency surgery and a hospital stay, during a come to Jesus talk, she is still minimizing it.

Yeah, sounds like a dumb and embarrassed 22-year-old to me.

She can learn!!

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:09

mystes: May 31, 2006

artsy fartsy posted:

Yeah, sounds like a dumb and embarrassed 22-year-old to me.

She can learn!!

She can work on it in her next relationship

Her behavior in this one has been awful and OP has absolutely no need to stay with her so he can treat this as some sort of teachable moment to help her suck less just because you remember also being dumb when you were 22

mystes fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Apr 28, 2024

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:16

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

mystes posted:

She can work on it in her next relationship

Her behavior in this one has been awful and OP has absolutely no need to stay with her so he can treat this as some sort of teachable moment to help her suck less just because you remember also being dumb when you were 22

Yeah, OP is about 80% of the way out the door

OP in comments (emphasis his) posted:

Ok thank you for bringing that up to my attention. I love her to death. Weve been best friends for 12 years and have been together for 5. Ill try everything to make this work. Edit: If I choose to get back together with her, wich as it stands now is unlikely.

Also, it's revealed that OP has been covering both their rent and utilities and groceries. It's no wonder she's so desperate to stay together.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:22

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

mystes posted:

She can work on it in her next relationship

Her behavior in this one has been awful and OP has absolutely no need to stay with her so he can treat this as some sort of teachable moment to help her suck less just because you remember also being dumb when you were 22

Unless he wants to, which it sounds like he doesn't, so that's fine; but some people are acting like she committed a heinous crime. And you probably weren't any smarter or more experienced at that age.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:42

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

artsy fartsy posted:

And you probably weren't any smarter or more experienced at that age.

I was, I have the Benjamin Button syndrome except it's for dumbness

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:52

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Admiral Joeslop posted:

AITAH for telling my parents to keep all the money they stole from me while I was in university and shove it up their rear end.

Got an update. tl;dr - OP cooled down enough to go back and take the money, then blocked his parents (again) on everything and started his new life

UPDATE on telling my parents to shove their money. (self.AITAH)

quote:

I took a lot of what you guys had to say to heart. I unblocked my family and spoke with my parents.

I agreed to meet with them for lunch today. We went to The Keg and talked. They said they didn't realize how I felt for those four years. My mom cried and said she was very sorry that I felt like they didn't care about me. I guess they read my post from before it got taken down and they are disturbed by what I wrote. They are also upset that my "girlfriend" is a single mom 14 years older than me. They asked if they could meet her and I said no.

They offered me the cheque again and this time I took it and thanked them. I said I would come home later.

After lunch I went to the bank and deposited it. Since we all bank at the same branch it was easy to cash it. I made sure that the money was in my account.

Then I blocked them again.

I just wrote my "girlfriend" a cheque for $4,312 to help her out. It was the interest on the money more or less. She is a decent person and she taught me a lot. She works her rear end off loading trucks and she deserves something good in her life. I know that isn't me.

I am seeing my grandfather tomorrow. I am going to make sure he knows what I did and why. I am also going to invite him out to see my new place once I move our West.

I'm spending the weekend at my "girlfriend's" house since her ex has the kids.

Thank you all for your help and advice.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:04

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Okay this has to be a joke:

WIBTAH For Throwing out my Boyfriend�s �Poop Spear''?

quote:

I�ve been dating this guy, let�s call him Mark, for 2 years, and on the first of May in a few days we�re moving into an apartment together. This weekend I was at his current place helping him pack his things, and I noticed a weird looking item in one of his boxes. It was a brass rod about 2 feet long, with a black plastic handle at the end. I asked him about it, and he told me that it was his �poop spear�.

He then explained that he uses it to move the poop around the toilet bowl before he flushes, to make sure that the toilet doesn�t clog. I told him that�s disgusting, and I don�t want it in our apartment, but he said that it�s a very useful tool, and he uses it frequently. Mark reassured me that the reason he used brass was because it�s naturally antibacterial, so the spear is perfectly safe to touch. He also said that he�s had it for years, but he kept it out of sight because he didn�t want me to be grossed out by it.

Our new apartment has only one bathroom, and I really don�t want to look at Mark�s poop spear whenever I�m in the bathroom, and I also don�t want to have to explain to guests what it is. So tell me, Reddit, would I be the rear end in a top hat for just throwing the thing in the garbage?

I managed to get a picture of the spear for everyone to see. I hope this website allows pictures, but if not then feel free to send me a message and I�ll send you an imgur link.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:08

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

FMguru posted:

Got an update. tl;dr - OP cooled down enough to go back and take the money, then blocked his parents (again) on everything and started his new life

UPDATE on telling my parents to shove their money. (self.AITAH)

What's the "girlfriend" supposed to be? He said he never had time for a relationship. Is that a check to himself?

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:21

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

FMguru posted:

This one got an update. tl;dr - OP is battling five years of sunk cost fallacy, and seems to be making some headway

Commenters are urging OP to just dump her rear end already.

I'm curious if countries with healthcare still have ambulance costs passed onto the patient? It's unfortunate the OP didn't feel comfortable calling for the ambulance at the first severe sign. And it could be a shithole country like the US, I suppose.

kimbo305 fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Apr 28, 2024

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:26

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

greazeball posted:

What's the "girlfriend" supposed to be? He said he never had time for a relationship. Is that a check to himself?

From the original post:

quote:

I didn't even have time for a girlfriend. My entire university romantic life was hooking up with a woman I work with when her ex husband had the kids for the weekend.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:26

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

greazeball posted:

What's the "girlfriend" supposed to be? He said he never had time for a relationship. Is that a check to himself?

He mentioned having an occasional hookup with a coworker. I had to go back through to catch that.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:29

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

The parents taking OP out to The Keg for the apology dinner is such a loving funny little touch.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:31

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Shanghaied posted:

Okay this has to be a joke:

WIBTAH For Throwing out my Boyfriend’s “Poop Spear''?

theres no way its not. clanging brass around the inside of porcelain is just asking for it to break, especially with a hard edge like that alleged poop spear has.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:34

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Shanghaied posted:

Okay this has to be a joke:

WIBTAH For Throwing out my Boyfriend�s �Poop Spear''?

What does he think everybody else is doing? Does he think we all just live with constantly clogged toilets in the absence of his amazing life hack?

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:39

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Pleads posted:

The parents taking OP out to The Keg for the apology dinner is such a loving funny little touch.

I laughed out loud at that part. There's just something intrinsically funny about The Keg.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:45

Shellception: Oct 12, 2016; "I'm made up of the memories of my parents and my grandparents, all my ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the colour of my hair. And I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think"

kimbo305 posted:

I'm curious if countries with healthcare still have ambulance costs passed onto the patient? It's unfortunate the OP didn't feel comfortable calling for the ambulance at the first severe sign. And it could be a shithole country like the US, I suppose.

Country with "socialized" healthcare resident: no, we don't. Unless you're for some reason going private, ambulance costs are fully covered.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:46

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

At my job one of the bathrooms has a poop stick hanging in the pipe chase. The toilets are those metal prison style ones and instead of using a plunger you jab at the clog with this stick (and they are always clogged.)

It's not brass, it's wood. You can tell it's a poop stick.

My job is gross pretty often

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:47

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Millenials and their fancy rear end poop spears, just use a poop knife like the rest of us! It was good enough for Great-Grandpa, it's good enough for you!

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:52

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

AKA Pseudonym posted:

What does he think everybody else is doing? Does he think we all just live with constantly clogged toilets in the absence of his amazing life hack?

He thinks we're all elbow-deep in the bowl with our poop knives, like animals.

He probably felt like the person who came up with the idea of extra long shoehorns: "just make it longer, stupid!"

# ? Apr 28, 2024 20:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 15:37

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

Kurieg posted:

WIBTA if I put a lien against my parents' house and sued them for my college tuition?

Wonder who the golden child is. Love the idea of them wanting her to live at home and commute an hour each way for college.

I did living at home and commuting an hour plus each way for university, but at that point literally all my classes were between 10 and 4, and only three days a week, and it still loving sucked, so I can't imagine what it would be like for someone who did actually get a reasonable amount of contact hours, and wasn't a weirdo who had internet forums rather than actual friends and hobbies.

# ? Apr 28, 2024 21:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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