r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

idiotsavant posted:

eh, if you are being scouted for D1 college sports then you are good enough to be part of a tiny fraction of high school students and giving up or limiting a lot of your social life is the tradeoff. this is a problem for a relatively small amount of kids, and a bunch of them are getting full or partial rides out of it

I knew a guy who didn't make the Olympics, but he was good enough that he got into the training program for potential Olympic athletes, and according to him a bunch of Olympic competitors are full-blown weirdos because you kind of have to be a super obsessive weirdo fully dedicated to the singular goal of being good at your sport to get to the Olympics. It's a similar thing, though not on the same level.

you really gotta wonder if its really worth all this effort to get good at sports no one cares about. its not like most of those kids chose to have that as their singular life goal in the first place

# ? May 8, 2024 15:28

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 16:41

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

AITA for proposing to my girlfriend at my uncle's funeral?

quote:

So my uncle was almost like my father. He pretty much raised me when my dad couldn't, (he got arrested and imprisoned in Columbia for some bullshit drug charges for a few years before the incompetent legal system realized he was innocent). My uncle rarely took things seriously which is what i loved about him. He took me to strip clubs when i was 15, took me on a road trip to sketchy places across eastern europe when i was 17. Together we hitchhiked across Chile and Argentina when i was 18. We went to wild parties near home too. I had the courage to ask out my girlfriend (now engaged) because he pretty much forced me to start talking to a rally hot girl that walked across us in the bar. If you guys ever played the Uncharted game series, my uncle is basically Sully. He looks similar and his voice is similar and his personality is too. My uncle was one of the greatest people I've ever met. I have so many good memories with him. He even joked about how his funeral should be a party and that we all should get completely wasted. He believed funerals shouldn't be so sad and gloomy, celebrate the life the dead lived not grieve over them being gone, be glad they existed. He even jokingly said that if he were to die soon (obviously he was hoping to live longer than this) he said he'd want me to propose to my gf during his funeral. I started dating her because of him and i should take it to the next step in honor with him. I honestly thought this was a loving hilarious idea but also a way of commerotaing him so i told him i'd do it if he were to die before we were married. Unfortunately he died a month ago from a stroke that was completely unexpected and i was devastated. I tried to get my family to throw a party in his honor as he requested but nobody wanted to do it no matter how much i tried so i decided to propose to my girlfriend during his funeral. My girlfriend knew my uncle for 5 years and saw him as a father figure as well ( she didn't have one and we both started dating when we were 16) and although she didn't have prior knowledge of my proposal, she wasn't shocked by it and thought it was cute.

SO the day of the funeral comes and we all speak kind words about him. They save me to make the last speech and i go on for probably 20 minutes about how much he meant to me. At the end i said, "in honor of my uncle, I'm proposing to my girlfriend, I had the courage to ask her out because of him and now I'm proposing to her in his honor as he requested." My girlfriend accepted my proposal and i gave her the ring my uncle gave to my aunt (she died previously). Most of the guests were like wtf are you doing and were pretty pissed off. Nobody was happy and people were screaming at us for being disrespectful and saying that we need to learn to be more respectful. The family kicked us out and barred us from entering the dinner and other activities we had planned. Im really bummed out i missed out on it and most of my family isn't on speaking terms with me.

# ? May 8, 2024 15:32

mystes: May 31, 2006

babypolis posted:

you really gotta wonder if its really worth all this effort to get good at sports no one cares about. its not like most of those kids chose to have that as their singular life goal in the first place

I would imagine that kids have to be somewhat focused on the sport to even be in a position where they have a chance of trying to train to potentially get into the olympics in the first place.

# ? May 8, 2024 15:38

Albino Broccoli: Aug 5, 2022

babypolis posted:

congrats to OP on finding a diamond tier wife, drat

Seriously, Yang is a far better person than I would have been in this situation

# ? May 8, 2024 15:50

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Nebrilos posted:

Of course they are accounting for OP in the equation when eating. There's no way that both of them would simply forget that she would need to eat too. This is probably their way of "helping her lose the pregnancy weight". Honestly, she should get a divorce.

There's a 110% chance that they're specifically going after her and eating her portion. I don't 100% know why but I'm guessing that it's about putting daughter-in-law in her place.

# ? May 8, 2024 16:13

metachronos: Sep 11, 2001; When I roll, baby I roll DEEP

The stories where people obviously favor their parents/siblings over their spouse drive me loving nuts. I love my parents and sister but I didn't choose them and wouldn't prioritize them over someone I actively chose to be in my life.

# ? May 8, 2024 16:17

Tobermory: Mar 31, 2011

Here's some wedding drama that doesn't involve the actual bride or groom.

AITA for calling off my wedding until my in-laws stop fighting

quote:

I (22F) and my fiance (26 M) had our wedding date set for October of next year. We announced it 3 months ago at a family barbecue, and everyone seemed excited. We�ve been engaged for a little over a year now, and we wanted to announce the date before we even sent out invitations so everyone could plan for it.

Our initial plan to pay for the wedding went as followed: we save $500 each month for a year. We are getting married at the small-town family church, so $6,000 is plenty to cover what we need.

A week after the announcement my parents (brides parents) gave a very generous $2,000 donation to the wedding. My parents and my partners have about the same finances. My parents decided to skip their spring break trip to donate.

My mother-in-law heard about the donation. (we thanked my parents publicly but didn�t specify the amount.) She decided at the next family gathering to ask my parents about it, where she learned the amount and how they afforded that. There was some conversation before I walked over, but this is what I heard my MIL say to my fianc�: �Don�t worry, I�ll pay for your next one.� (My MIL hasn�t ever liked me, she says I�m dramatic. She�s probably right tbh.) My fianc� told her firmly to shut up. My parents looked pissed off as well.

My mom said she didn�t think it was fair that the brides side (of 6 people, small family), donated more than my finances side (20 people). I don�t have any grandparents or aunts and uncles left, so my family is smaller.

I told them that I love their donation, but my MIL�s side does not need to donate. My MIL responded with a snappy, �I�m not giving up my vacation just because you two are broke.� I got pissed, and told her again that I don�t want any money from her.

Mid-April, my MIL posts on Facebook about her spontaneous New York 5-day Vacation with other members of my fianc�s side of the family. My parents got very offended, thinking that if they had enough for a spontaneous vacay, why don�t they help pay for the wedding. I think they exaggerated the trip out of spite, but I still kinda agree. BUT at the end of the day it�s their money.

Now it�s May and both sides of the family are posting sassy Facebook posts, messaging inappropriate comments, and some not even talking. I posted on Facebook that we�re putting the wedding off for now.

I posted �We are no longer planning our wedding for October. We want to be married and supported by loving family members, and we all know we�ve been lacking at that recently. We will replan the wedding at a later date.� I tagged everyone, and now everyone�s mad at me. I tried to stay out of the drama, but seriously- wtf!

AITA/ what do I do now??

metachronos posted:

The stories where people obviously favor their parents/siblings over their spouse drive me loving nuts. I love my parents and sister but I didn't choose them and wouldn't prioritize them over someone I actively chose to be in my life.

I love my family but if they ambushed me with my ex and told me not to marry someone because racism I would drippini them through a flaming table onto a chair wrapped in barbed wire.

# ? May 8, 2024 16:25

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Drippini means shower

# ? May 8, 2024 16:34

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Tobermory posted:

Here's some wedding drama that doesn't involve the actual bride or groom.

AITA for calling off my wedding until my in-laws stop fighting

This one is tough bc even though OP keeps saying they don't want money from MIL's side, they eventually admit they're judging about the NYC vacation so it is actually an issue for them, just not one they want to make a stink about. The MIL is truly an rear end in a top hat, but she doesn't have to match (or exceed) the donation of the bride's parents and it's weird it matters so much to the bride's parents whether MIL gives.

Then the tagging everyone in the family in a post about how they lack supportive loving family members, hooooly poo poo, how is that not going nuclear? What possible outcome was expected from that, the social media equivalent of hitting a hive of angry hornets with a baseball bat?

If she was going to address it on social media, it should've been to shut down any of the people needling MIL 'on her behalf' - that fact that she doesn't mention making any steps to stop them reads to an observer like she sorta agrees with her family members who are being intrusive and quietly using them as flying monkeys while claiming innocence. 'I didn't tell them to do it, but I also didn't stop them and secretly agreed with them, then eventually made an internet post claiming no one supports me' issssss not a good look.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:41 on May 8, 2024

# ? May 8, 2024 16:34

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Your family is important, but only important enough to attend the secondary "make-up" wedding

AITA for refusing to congratulate my aunt's child's wedding?

quote:

My family and I are from a culture where weddings are a very important milestone, and involve family quite heavily, at least traditionally. Obviously people shouldn't be forced to follow cultural traditions to a T or even at all, but I'm just stating this for context.

My aunt's son, my cousin, let's call him C, recently got married in a destination wedding. There were 100+ guests, and these guests had their flights, hotel, etc. all paid for. The guests included C's immediate family (parents and siblings) & a few cousins of C. The majority of the rest of the guests were business contacts of C or influencer-type people. The point is, these guests were not at all intimate close friends of C and his now-wife. It's worth noting that C and his side of the family are very financially well off.

The extended family was told for months by my aunt that only immediate family was invited (the parents and siblings of C). This was C's decision and not my aunt's. However, we saw that the cousins were invited after the wedding was over. We found out later that these cousins privately messaged C and argued with C, and then C relented.

Most of the extended family is offended that they weren't invited, including my mother, her siblings, my cousins, my grandmother, etc. If C had invited everyone in the extended family, it would have been about 11 additional people. My aunt and C have made comments that lead us to believe we weren't important or connected/rich enough to be invited.

My aunt has set up a 2nd event locally that we are all invited to. It will supposedly have more focus on cultural ceremonies, but essentially it is a reception. However, she's calling it a wedding. As she's invited us, in our culture, we are obligated to attend and bring relatively expensive gifts.

My aunt claims she tried and tried convincing C to invite family, but couldn't do anything about it. She says it was his decision. I believe her that she tried. I believe her that this was his C�s decision and that she would have wanted us there. However, my aunt and her husband paid for everything, so I don�t believe she tried as hard as she claims.

In the meantime, my aunt has sent photos of the destination wedding to group chats, and tried telling us how amazing the wedding was. My extended family hasn't responded or really acknowledged any of the messages. There was then some infighting over whether we were being too rude and/or harsh to my aunt, with some family on both sides. I personally don't want to acknowledge the destination wedding. AITA?

Nice transparent gift grab there, C.

# ? May 8, 2024 16:47

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Title only: AITAH for leaving mid-sex because it was so bad?

# ? May 8, 2024 16:48

mystes: May 31, 2006

FMguru posted:

Title only: AITAH for leaving mid-sex because it was so bad?

AITAH for leaving mid sex

# ? May 8, 2024 16:48

OneSizeFitsAll: Sep 13, 2010; Du bist mein Sofa

FMguru posted:

Title only: AITAH for leaving mid-sex because it was so bad?

I didn't think about this sort of thing happening until a friend of mine started telling me stories about her sex life. Once she was getting down with a guy, during which he slapped her on the behind. She literally noped out then and there and just left. I remember finding this very funny, but also a little harsh.

# ? May 8, 2024 16:58

don longjohns: Mar 2, 2012

OneSizeFitsAll posted:

I didn't think about this sort of thing happening until a friend of mine started telling me stories about her sex life. Once she was getting down with a guy, during which he slapped her on the behind. She literally noped out then and there and just left. I remember finding this very funny, but also a little harsh.

I think it's hosed up to hit someone, especially during sex, without checking they are into it first.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:03

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Consent can be revoked anytime, even mid-coitus, so yeh fully NTA

# ? May 8, 2024 17:07

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Consent can be revoked anytime, even mid-coitus, so yeh fully NTA

# ? May 8, 2024 17:09

OneSizeFitsAll: Sep 13, 2010; Du bist mein Sofa

don longjohns posted:

I think it's hosed up to hit someone, especially during sex, without checking they are into it first.

She made it sound like a high-spirited, fairly vanilla, spur-of-the-moment light smack, rather than a "right BDSM time - have some pain!" moment, to be fair - but I don't disagree with you.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:11

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Boyfriend refers to black people using the n word, I'm half black

quote:

Hi Reddit

I've (24F) been having issues with my partner (30M) since he openly referred to a black man as "this black n*****". He didn't know the man in question, he was just looking out the window and saw the guy, presumably loving around, and then said that.

I was stunned. For context, I'm half black. I told him off and he immediately apologised and I asked, "is this how you view black people" and he vehemently denied it but why would he even have that on his mind in the first place?

I spoke to my sister who said to forgive it if I feel comfortable to do so and that as my partner's Italian, this may just be how he is. I'm struggling to forgive it because it plays on my mind, I feel less than human in my relationship and home. I don't want a partner that views myself or anyone else in such a derogatory way. This happened about a month ago.

Since then I've been depressed and distant. When he's asked why, I told him I don't feel comfortable in his company. He doesn't say anything to that and we continue life. This has happened atleast 5 times since the incident.

Yesterday however, he asked why I'm so uncomfortable and I said it's partly because of what he said. He exploded at me saying he apologised and that he didn't mean it and it's bullshit for me to be upset about it. I didn't have anything to say to that, again, I was stunned into silence.

Today however, we spoke again about it. He said he can't stand to see me miserable and that me saying I was uncomfortable was like a punch to his heart. I asked if he wants me to lie and hide my emotions, he said no. So I said, "well you don't like that I'm uncomfortable but you don't do anything to change that, you don't even acknowledge the problem in the first place" to which he responded, "what can I do? There's nothing I can do".

My problem is that I don't know if there is anything he can do. I'd like for him to not hold such hate in his heart especially for a skin colour, but that shits ingrained in some cultures and people.

I'd want him to educate himself on black culture, racism and prejudice as a whole but that seems like an impossible ask and, more importantly, if he genuinely felt sorry, surely educating himself as to why what he did was a problem would've already been underway by now?

I don't know, I'm at a loss and could really use some advice moving forward.

Tl:dr boyfriend referred to black man as the n word, said sorry but hasn't shown sorry, can't help but feel poo poo, can't see the resolution to this issue

He just had a Heated Genoa Moment

# ? May 8, 2024 17:16

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; Can't post for 23 days!

FMguru posted:

Title only: AITAH for leaving mid-sex because it was so bad?

I think this deserves to be posted, but I'll eat a probe if not

quote:

I�m a single 30ish year old woman who is dating and considers herself kinky (I enjoy some light D/s play). I started talking with a man I met on a dating app about six weeks ago who also identified as being kinky and mentioned he enjoys being called �Daddy� during sex. At the time, I thought he meant he enjoyed it being sprinkled in a few times during sex so I didn�t really think it would be an issue. We have this really great connection, he�s emotionally available� it�s our third date today and I�m ready to have sex with him.

What happens next is probably one of the most bizarre sexual encounters I�ve ever had, to the point where I almost started laughing a couple of times because it was so fcking unhinged. I learn quickly that not only does he like being called Daddy, which I normally don�t mind, but he essentially demands that I call him Daddy the entire time we are having sex� we can�t go more than 10 seconds without this guy asking �Does my little girl enjoy fcking her daddy?! Tell me you love f*cking your daddy�. On top of that, he also keeps saying over and over again �YOU�RE SO HOT WITH YOUR TINY LITTLE WAIST AND BIG FAT rear end�. Between these two things, it sounds like I�m having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot. Because he keeps saying it over and over� and over again. At least 20 times. I used to think I was a big dirty talker, but this man made me feel quiet. It was so intense I had him stop and told him I had to leave because I felt uncomfortable and there was a miscommunication about our kinks. He then said �Are you okay? You seem a little traumatized.� I don�t know how I held it together and didn�t start laughing then, but reassured him I was not traumatized, just caught off guard. He said he was sorry, that he felt bad that I didn�t enjoy the sex, and that he was �lost for words�. I feel bad about hurting his ego; I tried to be delicate about it while also honoring my boundaries. I try to be open minded about what constitutes as �good sex�, but good lord I couldn�t take another minute of whatever that was... AITAH?

# ? May 8, 2024 17:19

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

r/relationships: it sounds like I’m having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

# ? May 8, 2024 17:22

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

quote:

He wants to put the icecream in his mouth, enjoy the flavour and then spit it out into a bowl. Then put all the icecream spit in the bin and not eat it.

He says this let's him enjoy the icecream flavour without the negative health benefits. He is trying to eat in a healthy, clean well-balanced way without denying his sweet tooth. He reckons it will be just like wine tasting.

I say it's a disgusting idea and I don't want him doing it. When we buy icecream he usually eats it all immediately in one sitting. So it's not like I would get to eat the icecream anyway. I just think that icecream spit is gross and I don't want it happening in my house.

He said the idea felt liberating and he is sad I have rained on his parade.

We are both convinced we are right and the other wrong
So in the spirit of friendly competition we are asking reddit to adjudicate this

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? May 8, 2024 17:25

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

do NOT tell that lady about how Markiplier eats takis

# ? May 8, 2024 17:25

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Captain Hygiene posted:

r/relationships: it sounds like I’m having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

# ? May 8, 2024 17:26

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

AceClown posted:

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

I try to live my life by the idea that everyone should be allowed to do what they want as long as it isn't harming someone else, and I still don't think you should be allowed to do this.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:28

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Comments point out that that is 100% an eating disorder and he needs help, badly.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:33

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I feel like proposing at another person's wedding is a loving stupid and inconsiderate thing to do, but also if it happens at your wedding, get over it, no one cares, the day is still about you and not worth losing your poo poo over.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:34

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

AceClown posted:

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

This sounds like an eating disorder.

Edit: gently caress, beaten

# ? May 8, 2024 17:37

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

AceClown posted:

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

Why doesn't he just spit the ice cream into her mouth? Win-win.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:39

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Why doesn't he just spit the ice cream into her mouth? Win-win.

Do parrots feed their baby birds like that?

# ? May 8, 2024 17:49

CoffeeBoofer: Dec 10, 2023; by Pragmatica

Malachite_Dragon posted:

You could just loving not and save your wanking for when you're off the clock, you dumb motherfucker.

# ? May 8, 2024 17:53

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Ross masturbating in the back of the truck: I WAS ON A FIFTEEN MINUTE BREAK

# ? May 8, 2024 17:59

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

oh jay posted:

Do parrots feed their baby birds like that?

Not just their babies.

# ? May 8, 2024 18:04

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

RoboRodent posted:

This sounds like an eating disorder.

Edit: gently caress, beaten

Technically its a swallowing disorder

# ? May 8, 2024 18:06

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

AceClown posted:

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

is he Roman or something

# ? May 8, 2024 18:13

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Lol at sex daddy. I once had a ONS with a guy who also couldn't shut up, but his thing was calling his penis pretty. Oh, do you like my pretty penis? Do you want this pretty penis? Isn't this penis so pretty?

To be honest it wasn't that pretty

# ? May 8, 2024 18:18

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

He should have put a little bow on it.

# ? May 8, 2024 18:27

Kibayasu: Mar 28, 2010

No sex organs are pretty but my brain keeps telling me they are and I just go with it.

# ? May 8, 2024 18:40

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

AceClown posted:

AITA (25F) for vetoing my partners (26M) gross icecream idea?

They do this at wine tastings, but that's so you can sample several without getting drunk. Doing this with ice cream is just weird.

# ? May 8, 2024 18:58

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 16:41

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Ensign Expendable posted:

How dare you propose during my birthday month, you selfish monster?

Somewhere, way back in a previous version of this thread, there was a story about a woman dating a widower. He would get upset if she suggested doing anything on the day or in the week of the anniversary of his wife dying, of him marrying his wife, his wife's birthday, Mother's Day, their first date ... to the point that he'd excluded about half the year. I think he also was hanging on to the exact furniture and decorations in the exact locations his wife had put them, years ago. Anytime remember that one?

# ? May 8, 2024 19:03

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