/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Barudak: May 7, 2007

Who What Now posted:

Was it a boy or a girl Pnurtis?

It was a bigolry

# ? May 2, 2017 21:06

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# ? May 29, 2024 05:27

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

I know a family whose kids all got conventional first names and eccentric middle names, and were allowed to formally choose which to go by on their thirteenth birthdays.

They're all in their thirties now. Four siblings, named Loki, Pluto, Jessica and Laura. Letting thirteen-year-old boys name themselves maybe not the best idea.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:08

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

This is how you make your kids become juggalos.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:16

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

WrenP-Complete posted:

We didn't know. (And in my religion/culture we wouldn't know until after the birth.)

I didn't know that. You're very educational, Wren.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:17

Barudak: May 7, 2007

WrenP-Complete posted:

We didn't know. (And in my religion/culture we wouldn't know until after the birth.)

In Korea you just need to start asking what color to paint the nursery to get around that legal problem.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:28

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Barudak posted:

In Korea you just need to start asking what color to paint the nursery to get around that legal problem.

black

# ? May 2, 2017 21:30

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pnurtis is almost an anagram for Rasputin. Maybe every time he reincarnates he gets one less letter in his name.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:42

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

Blue Train posted:

????

Using water balloons is environmentally damaging.

# ? May 2, 2017 21:43

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

# ? May 2, 2017 22:06

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [18 F] found videos of me in the bathroom on my brother's [16 M] computer

quote:

I hope this is the right place for this kind of a post.

My brother and I had been sharing one PC. He uses it often and I had little access to it for my school work, so recently I have bought myself a personal laptop with money I have gotten for my 18th birthday.

Yesterday my brother was out with his friends, so I turned on the old PC in order to copy my music I had there onto my new laptop. While I was copying the files onto my hard drive, I noticed a folder called something like �ppppp� in the list of the frequent folders. It was placed among one of his game�s files, so I thought he was just hiding porn or something. When I opened the folder, I was shocked. It contained maybe 50 videos of our mother and me naked in the bathroom, and a couple of videos of our aunt and her 13 year old daughter (our cousin) probably from when they were vising us for the weekend around Easter time. I did not look through all of the videos, but there were videos of us showering, shaving our private parts, and you can guess of what else us doing there�

I was so disgusted to find this. It seems the first video was taken about two months ago. There have been so many videos taken, so I assume it must be some sort of hidden camera, or else we would have noticed. I ran downstairs to the bathroom, but could not find a hidden camera. I don�t have much clue of what I should look for, all I can guess from the angle in the videos that it�s somewhere near the sink�

After my 18th birthday I went to open a bank account, and our parents gave the permission to open an account for my brother as well so he could start learning how to manage his finances better. If it is a hidden camera, my only guess is that my brother bought it online with his new card.

I took screenshots and photos with my phone for evidence, but left all the videos there as they were. I haven�t told our parents yet. I feel scared and don�t know what to do. I am afraid of what our parents might do to my brother if I tell them about this. He has always been a good brother to me. I don�t know why he would do such a thing.

tl;dr: What should I do? Should I tell about this to our parents, or should I try and talk about this to my brother directly?

# ? May 2, 2017 22:06

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] found videos of me in the bathroom on my brother's [16 M] computer

How is this even a question

# ? May 2, 2017 22:10

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] found videos of me in the bathroom on my brother's [16 M] computer

# ? May 2, 2017 22:11

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

Lol go into pyf and ask them about Enrique sometime

# ? May 2, 2017 22:19

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

Dunk a dill pickle, realdo

# ? May 2, 2017 22:26

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

You can be in the friend club too, don't be shy.

# ? May 2, 2017 22:28

Verdugo: Jan 5, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

Batterypowered7 posted:

I [29 F] am pregnant with twins, my fiance [26 M] wants to give them stupid names.

...

tl;dr: Should I let my fiance give our sons the middle names Batman and Spiderman?

Why not? It worked for this kid.

quote:

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

Agreed. Everyone knows Megbert is a way better name anyway.

# ? May 2, 2017 22:31

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Day # 735 where goons are trying to make Pnurtis a thing. Let's hope it goes as well as the docevil eggs challenge. I enjoy all contrived forms of humor where you gotta repeat the joke hundreds of times, and people slowly wander into the thread, repeating the dumb joke. "Am I doing it right" the goon says, repeating the formula he sees others repeating. There it is. The doors to comedy heaven open and the goon enters.

drat thats pretty insightful dude.. poo poo

# ? May 2, 2017 22:39

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] found videos of me in the bathroom on my brother's [16 M] computer

How many comments said she shouldn't have snooped?

# ? May 2, 2017 22:38

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

"bin" is a particle that indicates "son of/ descendant of" so the full name is "batman son of superman." THE OMEGAVERSE STRIKES AGAIN!

# ? May 2, 2017 22:40

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Look, it's weird to snoop in a folder where you're expecting to find someone else's porn, but that is so far down the list of concerns at this point

# ? May 2, 2017 22:55

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I like that they are so frequently accessed that it's at the top of the menu

# ? May 2, 2017 23:05

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Also that there are fifty videos in two months

# ? May 2, 2017 23:06

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Blue Train posted:

Nothing wrong with her not working if he's capable of providing for both of them and has been for however long

if she has something better to do maybe. if she just doesn't want to get a job because being an adult is too hard she needs daily therapy or :sever:

# ? May 2, 2017 23:19

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

Haifisch posted:

I [18 F] found videos of me in the bathroom on my brother's [16 M] computer

From the comments:

quote:

I feel guilty that it might be a bit of my fault. In the past year or so I have started going on dates, and was trying to learn how to be more attractive. I wanted to see if I could get my brother's attention, so I started changing clothes while he was in the room and let him see me wear a thong, or me in just my bra and underwear. I know this doesn't justify what he has done, but I feel guilty this might have encouraged him...

Bullllllshiiiiitttttttt

# ? May 2, 2017 23:22

Barudak: May 7, 2007

And the one handed post reveals itself, moist in the mornings Mountain Dew.

# ? May 2, 2017 23:24

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

spite house posted:

Bullllllshiiiiitttttttt

Oh, it's a guy jacking himself off

E: gently caress

# ? May 2, 2017 23:24

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 14 days!

EVERY MORNING I OPEN PALM SLAP MY PUSSY IN THE BATHROOM AFTER SHAVING IT BALD. I SLAP IT AND SLAP IT HARD MAKING ASIAN WHIMPERING NOISES THE WHOLE TIME. TWO HOURS EVERY MORNING BEFORE BREAKFAST. MY BROTHER HAS BEEN RECORDING ME THIS WHOLE TIME REDDIT, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

# ? May 2, 2017 23:30

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

*In an extremely Reddit voice*
Men are such pigs /sends private message asking for pics

# ? May 2, 2017 23:35

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Are we doing a theme?
Let's do a theme.

SIBLINGS

I (18F) just found out my brother (20M) has been catfishing me.

quote:

I'm not sure where to start. Honestly, I can't believe this is happening. It feels like a nightmare and all I want to do is wake up.

I will try to start from the beginning.

I've been home-schooled since I was 16 due to my social anxiety disorder. Before I switched to home school, I was having a panic attack nearly every day because I was so uncomfortable in social situations.

Home-schooling helped a lot, and I started going to therapy and taking medication to combat the effects. But even with all of that, I still rarely leave my home, and I haven't had a conversation with anyone outside of my immediately family and therapist in years.

Thank God for the internet though, right? I started using Tumblr and Reddit to work on my communication skills, slowly building up the courage to message people and to respond to comments. I even started a blog that was just about working through social anxiety.

A little less than a year ago, I received a message from a boy on Tumblr. He had social anxiety disorder too. His name was Brandon, he lived in Arizona, he liked playing video games and writing short stories. He was so cute, and almost immediately we hit it off.

Looking back on it now, it was probably obvious. Everything I loved, Brandon loved too, and everything I didn't like, Brandon was against as well. We never talked on the phone because he said his social anxiety disorder wouldn't let him, which was a relief for me at the time.

About 7 months ago, I asked Brandon to be my boyfriend. He turned me down, and I was crushed. But Brandon kept telling me how beautiful I was, how smart I was, and how any guy would be lucky to have me. It really seemed like he liked me.

We drifted apart for a little, but eventually started messaging again. A few weeks ago, I asked Brandon why he wasn't interested in me and he said I was "too special". I thought it was weird but shrugged it off.

My brother (I'll call him E) just got home from college for the summer, and is staying with us. We've never been that close, just kind of a normal brother-sister dynamic. Two nights ago, I knocked on E's door to ask if I could go ahead and take a shower (we share a bathroom). There was no answer, so I just shouted "HEY, I want to take a shower". Still no answer, but I was pretty sure he was in there.

I opened the door. He wasn't there, but his laptop was open to my Tumblr.

I guess in that moment I knew Brandon was actually E, but I had to be sure. I clicked the back arrow on his computer and there it was- his Tumblr dashboard, which confirmed that he was definitely Brandon.

I am so confused. I don't know what to do now. I've been avoiding him for two days, haven't been on my computer. I'm barely eating or sleeping at night.

Please, Reddit. What do I do?

TL;DR: Met a boy on Tumblr while trying to combat severe social anxiety disorder. Turned out the boy was my brother, catfishing me.

# ? May 2, 2017 23:43

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

fruit on the bottom posted:

Are we doing a theme?
Let's do a theme.

SIBLINGS

I (18F) just found out my brother (20M) has been catfishing me.

Gonna say the brother was misguidedly trying to build her self confidence assuming he didn't get nudes or anything

# ? May 2, 2017 23:44

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Blue Train posted:

Gonna say the brother was misguidedly trying to build her self confidence assuming he didn't get nudes or anything

My idea, too.

# ? May 2, 2017 23:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Yeah, I didn't bring a side order of incest. Sorry?

# ? May 2, 2017 23:55

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Sorry, but there's no way that camera story isn't entirely fake. If I've ever read something that was written one handed, that would definitely be it. I know we say it's more fun to believe things are true but come the gently caress on

# ? May 2, 2017 23:55

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

It's the 16 yr old brother

# ? May 3, 2017 00:09

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Pick posted:

Good move, he is afraid of light and most forms of goodness.

He's kinda like Dracula's fat awkward brother who gets sustenance from double-chins

# ? May 3, 2017 00:09

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

we need a palette cleanser, have a story with at least one genuinely good human being in it

I [27M] have practically raising my landlords [60sF] grandchildren [13F/9F], I want to move to a different city

quote:

4 years ago I moved out of a toxic living environment, half way across the country, with about $800 cash and no job, but a great education and credentials in an in demand field, I just needed to get on my feet.

I moved into a semi attached studio owned by a woman (60s) caring for her grandchildren (13F/9F now, 9F/5F at the time). The landlords daughter / the girls mother had died a year before and their father walked out not long after because he couldn't cope.

I managed to get work to pay expenses while freelancing in my spare time, built up a client list and got some consistent consulting gigs in my field, working from a home office. After about 6 months I was back on my feet, but I decided not to move into my own place at the time because I was anxious my work could dry up any second and I'd be back on the ropes again. I stopped being worried about running out of work years ago, but couldn't move out then because of my relationship with the girls.

I can't pinpoint how or when but the girls started spending more and more time with me. When I got a bit of money I used it to buy nice furniture and set up a decent entertainment system, the girls started coming in to watch tv and play games.

I use the kitchen in the main house to cook, and I cook in big batches to freeze. The girls started taking my prepped meals when they were watching tv, so I started making extra. This turned into feeding them every meal. Which turned into making sure they had lunch at school, which turned into getting them ready for school in the morning.

Their grandmother asked me to watch them during school break while she was still working, so I did. They started coming to me when they needed something, even when the grandmother was home. Their grandmother could be home and they would come into the studio to tell me they were hungry, for example.

I get them ready for school every day, I make or buy everything they eat, I buy them new clothes, I take them to school, they come directly into my studio after school, and stay there until they go to bed. They only time they go into the main house is to sleep and help me cook. I have an oversized futon that they will occasionally sleep on, so 50% of the time they sleep in here anyway.

I take them to martial arts classes meant for parents and kids to do together, take them to dance lessons, I take them hiking with me, taught the youngest how to swim, go to school events, the oldest came to me when she had her first period (which let me tell you was pretty far out of my comfort zone, but I did my best).

About 2 years ago I bought and fixed up a camper van to do a cross country tour, when I told their grandmother I'd be gone for several weeks, she asked me to wait until summer break and take the girls. I said I wasn't prepared to take two kids on a road trip cross country (They were 11/7 at the time). She said she understood, but then told the girls that I was going and if they were really good maybe I'd take them with me, and they begged me for weeks. In the end I took them and it was stressful and difficult but I had the time of my life. But it made me realize how weird the relationship had become.

Then last year, their grandmother announced she was going on a cruise with her partner (he doesn't live here) for a month. And our daily lives didn't really change at all.

And since then she's gotten less and less interested in the girls. She probably spends less than a few hours with them a week now. The main house is a pig sty, the only rooms that isn't caked in grime and littered with junk is the kitchen and the girls rooms, because I clean them.

Financially I'm rock solid as well, and am now the main provider for the girls. I've been living wellbelow my means for 4 years. I have no debt, spend less than 25% of my income, save the rest. The money I do spend is mostly on the girls. I know their grandmother lives weeks to week, because she regularly asks for me to pay rent early because she�s broke. She spends nothing on the girls anymore.

In the last 6 months I've started travelling for work when clients want me on site, which has been incredible. It's never been for more than a week at a time, but I didn't realise how much I was missing out on working remotely, not just with colleagues, but socially as well. But it's also been tough, I have to leave instructions and money for their grandmother, and the girls skype me every night.

Their grandmother is pretty pissed about it, and has been telling the girls that I'm not at home because I don't care and I'm not their family, and I don't really want anything to do with them, that it'd rather be away, etc. Which has upset them a lot, particularly the youngest.

A colleague has been floating the idea of co-founding a consulting firm. It is verycompelling. So compelling I know I will regret it if I don't follow through. The big catch is, she wants to set up an office in the city where we have a client base and network, and wants me to move there.

This is something I desperately want to do. But like I said before, I could have moved away at any point, but don't know what to do about the girls.

It's hard to get advice about the situation because I'm paranoid about the optics of a man my age looking after children that aren't his. I've caught heat over the years in public from mothers, for example, especially at kids classes, and most of my friends have been telling me to bail for years, that it's not my problem.

But I believe their home life would be a catastrophe if I left.

What do I do and how do I do it?

tl;dr I've been effectively raising my landlords grandchildren, I have a business opportunity I don't want to pass up but I'd need to move, don't know how to proceed.

# ? May 3, 2017 00:12

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Coming at you from r/legaladvice

[Pennsylvania] Husband is divorcing me over sons asthma. He only wants to see our daughter and not our son.

quote:

This is the post I posted on Relationships explaining what Happened.

I'm a little in shock. I've stayed up all night and I can't believe it. It completely blind sided me. I thought we had a good relationship. I guess my soon to be ex husband and I have 2 children. A three year old son and 1 year old daughter.

I got home from work last night and he had a suitcase with him. He flat out told me to not fight this. He's done with the marriage. He told me it's nothing to do with me. This part is disgusting, but he said he never wanted a child with any type of disability. Our children are perfectly healthy. The only real issue we have is my sons Asthma. Nothing else. You'd never know when he's playing with his friends or when you see him in the mall with me. He told the Asthma is to much for him to mentally deal with, and he's leaving me. He left with his suitcase.

He told me I can have sole custody of our son, but he wants to see our Daughter. I have no idea what to do. How do I even explain this to our son if he get's what he wants? Will the court grant this? What he's proposing has to be some sort of Mental abuse. It's going to drive a huge wedge between the kids. I don't know what to do.

The Question

Can he actually do this? He wants me to have Sole Custody of our son and only have visitation to our daughter.

# ? May 3, 2017 00:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Batterypowered7 posted:

Pnurtis is almost an anagram for Rasputin. Maybe every time he reincarnates he gets one less letter in his name.

It seems the 4th iteration has control over russia again.

# ? May 3, 2017 00:36

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

fruit on the bottom posted:

Coming at you from r/legaladvice

[Pennsylvania] Husband is divorcing me over sons asthma. He only wants to see our daughter and not our son.

Ice cold

# ? May 3, 2017 00:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 05:27

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

fruit on the bottom posted:

Coming at you from r/legaladvice

[Pennsylvania] Husband is divorcing me over sons asthma. He only wants to see our daughter and not our son.

No judge in the world would allow this, right?

Like, for sure, the first question would be "Why are you only seeking custody of your son?" and if the dad says the actual reason, he'd be turbofucked?

# ? May 3, 2017 00:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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