/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

HazCat: May 4, 2009

ArbitraryC posted:

Maybe I'm just inappropriately possessive but I can't understand how relationships can recover after a break like that. I'm okay with someone I'm dating having had a sex life before me, but I'm totally not okay with it happening during me. It's irrevocable, like spending the rest of your life whenever you see any media or hearing any friends talk about fidelity and you just have to sort of sit there like an incel pretending to find 40 year old virgin funny feels like such an unnecessary cross to bear. They found someone else at least once, why can't you?

I think this is the first time I've ever 100% agreed with an ArbitraryC post, and I'm not sure how to feel about it :ohdear:

But yeah, I had an ex who heard me say "I'm really not into casual relationships, so if you want to see other women we probably aren't a good match", decided to date me and then break up with me specifically to sleep with other women, and then was confused when I wasn't interested in getting back together a few months on.

Like, it's not the seeing other people that's the issue, it's the choosing other people over me. Breaking up with me to do that doesn't make it less unattractive :shrug:

# ? May 8, 2018 14:16

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:31

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Theophany posted:

My (21M) dad (37M) is sleeping with my ex girlfriend (26F). I don't want to speak to either of them at all. I just found out that my ex is pregnant by him, and that they are keeping the baby. Not sure how to feel.

His Dad is Richard Bates from Californication.

This dad sounds cool and rad.

# ? May 8, 2018 14:16

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

13Pandora13 posted:

Now that your dad is dead you can tell your brother what a piece of poo poo he is and that the whole family would be better off without him without upsetting your dad in his final moments.

Telling off a drug addict with a gun after the loss of their father is sound life advice.

# ? May 8, 2018 14:35

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Clark Nova posted:

I would suspect a Pnurtis� parents had read too many books. I�d suspect Moonlynne�s parents were functionally illiterate

Well Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo, I know you really liked that there Disney Mulan movie and all, but I don't want any daughter of ours to have some kinda ethnic name.

# ? May 8, 2018 14:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Gorilla Salad posted:

Well Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo, I know you really liked that there Disney Mulan movie and all, but I don't want any daughter of ours to have some kinda ethnic name.

This is just asking for her to have some bizarre adventure.

# ? May 8, 2018 14:57

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

This is just asking for her to have some bizarre adventure.

Gonna name my kid Dio and see how many people think anime first or metal first.

# ? May 8, 2018 15:09

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

A short, but fun one from /r/legaladvice

[Canada] Bought something intimate at a sex shop. Former high school classmate leaked my purchase

quote:

QC, Canada.

I bought a penis pump at a sex shop. It turns out that my ex classmate, someone who I really didn't get along with in high school (10+ years ago) is the manager there, and he pulled a security cam screenshot of me at the counter with the item (my face is visible) + a picture of the receipt (I guess they printed a copy) Edit: the pic of the receipt was just zoomed onto the product name, no personal info.

He posted it to Facebook, and tagged a bunch of mutual friends. (Maybe noteworthy: most comments were calling him a douche but there were some big laughs).

Question: This particular sex shop has a ton of "no photography/no cellphones/no cameras" signs posted everywhere. My assumption is that I've got no recourse but is there any chance those signs apply to the business as well?

This all happened on Saturday. But today in the office someone has already made an offhand joke about it and this is just so very reminiscent of high school when this rear end in a top hat was bullying me back then. I just want to know if there's anything I can do about this. Honestly I'm not a super sensitive guy but this is infuriating.

I plan to contact the corporate office (it's a franchise) but before I do so, I'd like to know my options.

And the update:

quote:

I'm posting the conclusion to the situation I asked about last week since it generated some interest.

Basically it all resolved itself pretty quickly (sorry for no juicy drama!).

On Tuesday afternoon (1 day after posting here) I called the main contact number for customer issues on their website. I spoke with a receptionist, who I briefly told my story to, and she transferred me to someone in customer service ("Steve").

Steve first and foremost was suuuuper apologetic. He was actually so apologetic because he already knew about the issue. Turns out that someone else at the store had already reported the incident! All he said was that it was another employee, but wouldn't tell me who. I'm guessing it was probably the cashier who handled my transaction, firstly because she was in the Facebook screenshot too (even if it was just the back of her head), and because she's friends with the shop manager ("Eric") on Facebook so she had to have seen the post. I don't know for sure though.

Steve told me that they had already terminated Eric effective immediately. He said it was the only time something like this had ever happened at any of their stores. He also offered me a $200 gift card. The call ended there after a total of no more than 5-10 mins and honestly I felt pretty good.

The reason I waited to post an update is because I was hoping to capture a screenshot of Eric's Facebook employment update. Previously it was "SexGod at $franchaiseName" and I was hoping for something equally arrogant but alas he simply deleted his employment info. Oh well, it's still the confirmation I was looking for.

I'm glad this one ended well. :unsmith:

# ? May 8, 2018 16:04

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

TheKennedys posted:

lede sticking a hand up out of the ground it's buried so shallow, but lol if you think anyone in a kitchen isn't eventually gonna do something harder than weed and kratom

dude sounds like my best friend except in this case he's not forced to PO meetings that make him stay reasonably clean. lifehack: get felony probation, stop doing heroin

Hoo yeah, I worked with a guy in a kitchen that had gotten out of rehab (is probation after rehab a thing? I can�t remember).

He�d been stealing his mother�s morphine when she was in end stages of cancer.

I didn�t do anything harder than smoking weed with the dishwashers out by the dumpsters.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:22

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Kuros posted:

A short, but fun one from /r/legaladvice

[Canada] Bought something intimate at a sex shop. Former high school classmate leaked my purchase

And the update:

I'm glad this one ended well.

The part that weirds me out after comment-diving:

OP posted:

I'm just shocked that this guy who I haven't spoken to since 2006 still has it out for me. Like, he hasn't changed at all, I guess. He's still passionate (for lack of a better word) about victimizing me.

Fingers crossed I get the last laugh.

I don't think I could pick any of my high school classmates out of a lineup after not seeing them for that long. How hosed up would you have to be to not only recognize them, but still give enough of a poo poo about harassing them to do something like that?

# ? May 8, 2018 16:40

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

SexGod at McDildos.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:40

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Haifisch posted:

The part that weirds me out after comment-diving:

I don't think I could pick any of my high school classmates out of a lineup after not seeing them for that long. How hosed up would you have to be to not only recognize them, but still give enough of a poo poo about harassing them to do something like that?

Some people peak in high school and stay there.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:44

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

Haifisch posted:

The part that weirds me out after comment-diving:

I don't think I could pick any of my high school classmates out of a lineup after not seeing them for that long. How hosed up would you have to be to not only recognize them, but still give enough of a poo poo about harassing them to do something like that?

Ten years isn't really THAT long after high school. I'm 25 years out, and that feels like a long time, where I've bumped into people and not recognized them right away.

# ? May 8, 2018 16:52

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Kuros posted:

Some people peak in high school and stay there.

yeah the guy's a shift manager at the dildo store who thinks buying a penis pump is incredibly shameful, it's not like he's got a lot post-highschool going on in his life

# ? May 8, 2018 17:04

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Kuros posted:

A short, but fun one from /r/legaladvice

[Canada] Bought something intimate at a sex shop. Former high school classmate leaked my purchase

one book, "Swedish Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing is My Bag, Baby"

# ? May 8, 2018 17:11

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

Yawgmoth posted:

Gonna name my kid Dio and see how many people think anime first or metal first.

HOLY DIVAHHHHHH UHHHHHH YEEEAAAAA

# ? May 8, 2018 17:32

Darkrenown: Jul 18, 2012; please give me anything to talk about besides the fact that democrats are allowing millions of americans to be evicted from their homes

Seems fake as hell, but still:

[UPDATE] Me[28M/F] with my 8mo gf[26M/F] wants me to get rid of my cat. I want to dump her.Updates

quote:

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1hc537/me28mf_with_my_8mo_gf26mf_wants_me_to_get_rid_of/

So, for the past 24hrs I've slowly been making sure my stuff is back in my apartment from her house, and even dropping off some of her crap in my backpack (very stealthy!).

I spent the night over at her place, but I wasn't feeling great (i have a slightly pulled groin from work)... She was pretty intent on sex and it really got her very angry with me, anyways. Like it was aggressive and abusive. I was a 'stupid loving rear end in a top hat' and... yessssss the crazy you guys warned me about came out.

I told her "You know, its 100% fine with me when you're not interested in sex, right? Why can't you show the same respect to MY body when i'm loving hurt in my groin!?"

BOOM! The words "It's not only that..." came out. She unleashed a verbal tirade about minor things that she claimed was neglectful of her. Apparently I dont care because I didn't ask her what she wanted at the grocery store. I felt sort of bad until half-way through the tirade until I remembered something... Jokingly (while slightly frustrated) that she kept saying IDK to whatever food I asked her about, and teasing about how she couldn't tell me what type of juice she liked.

I finally stuck up to her. I unleashed into her about how she just fabricates things in her head. I asked her a million times what food she liked, or what she wanted in each freaking aisle, but instead she answered IDK.

"I don't know, I don't know! It's always I dont know, then you throw it in my face for not knowing? I'm asking because I wanted to loving know- in fact the only thing you seem to loving know is that you want me to kill my cat!? for what!? this happy little verbal tirade over me tearing a piece of tissue next to my balls, and not being able to have sex!?"

I picked up my back pack, unzipped it - and dumped her clothes and underwear all over her couch. "I've been thinking about this quite some time - you're dumped, bitch."

Her jaw dropped. "you can't do that".... "yes, yes, I can - and i'm doing it right now, you're acting insane. this is insane. and your demands are insane." (in the calmest voice I can), and I walk out of there peacefully, and gently close the door.

So - walking away from her apartment she's screaming and yelling crap at me. Keep walking. By the time i'm out the elevator and out front she's on the balcony screaming horrible crap at me in front of EVERYONE. I'm apparently dickless. then I had a dick, and it was small. Then I was a human being. Then she yelled "he tried to rape me!" - I HAD TO loving STOP AND SAY SOMETHING.

I turned around, walked back calmly (and slowly with my cane) - smiled and said "DId you just say a gay man with no dick tried to rape you!? That has got to be the dumbest poo poo i've ever heard? Its obvious to everyone staring why you were dumped. get over it!" walked-off and said nothing more.

I hard some laughter, saw some gawkers, and this group of students(?) (guys and girls) were cheering me on as i was walking off. Even the girls "yeah buddy! you're da man! don't take that crap off a girl like that! woo!" lol one girl even taunted her and yelled "Does that mean he's single now, hun!?"

craziest and best breakupstory ever!

tl;dr

dumped her. she went nuts. caused a scene. I walked off and was cheered by people staring.

EDIT -

I dedicate this song to her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG3ExHB133k

# ? May 8, 2018 18:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

nonathlon posted:

There should be a birding book for /r/relationships, except instead of birds, the entries should be "in my culture, this is okay" and "we were on a beak".

# ? May 8, 2018 18:17

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Yawgmoth posted:

Gonna name my kid Dio and see how many people think anime first or metal first.

You were expecting Pnurtis, but it was me, Holy Diver!

Have a spicy boi

Me [19M] with my mother [39F]. I haven�t seem her for my whole life, I re-connected with her and now we are attracted to each other and I need advice

quote:

I feel bad for being like this i�m 19, my mother is 39, I�ve known her for a few months that we met each other. My father always kept me away from my mother that he literally moved us out of the city so I wouldn�t have any contact with her. He always tried to fill my head with negativety about my mother and he always insulted her. I always gre up thinking she was the bad one, now I resent my father for doing this.

Apparently he got full custody because my mother used to abuse alcohol and couldn�t support me growing up. When I hit my teenage years, I made a Facebook account with all my real information. I added all my uncles and aunts and my grandparents from my fathers side since I didn�t know anything about my mother�s side. A woman added me on Facebook, she only had 1 mutual friend with me and shared the same last name that I did, my father saw that I had her as a friend and urged me to block her and he told me to never ever contact her. My step mother, she raised me and I love her like family and she got sad and asked me if I didn�t find her as a good enough mother since my father told her I was trying to find my real mother.

I went along with it, I always listened to him until I was 17, I saw things differently and started to resent him for keeping me away from my biological mother. I unblocked that woman, sent her a request again and we started talking, we only talked and she told me everything, she�s my aunt from my mother�s side and asked me if I wanted to meet with my real mother. I got decided and at 18 I decided I had enough and I wanted to meet her. I met her, she cried a lot with tears of joy when she met me and she even celebrated my return.

A few months fast forward now and we are attracted to each other- not as family, as lovers. I feel like part of this had to do because we went out alone, just us 2 to restaraunts and places and they felt like dates. The farthest we ever took it was holding hands and making out but nothing really sexual. I moved in with my mother and my father was angry but I still visit him and his wife regularly. What do I do? It�s like I�m extremelly attracted to her and I don�t know why? Please guys I need help.

TL:DR My mother and I are attracted to each other and I don�t know what to do about it or reverse it or what

# ? May 8, 2018 18:25

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

well probably don't move in with her but I guess that's done already

# ? May 8, 2018 18:26

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Darkrenown posted:

Seems fake as hell, but still:

quote:
DId you just say a gay man with no dick tried to rape you!?

fakeposter don't doxx me

# ? May 8, 2018 18:34

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [19M] with my mother [39F]. I haven�t seem her for my whole life, I re-connected with her and now we are attracted to each other and I need advice

I'm gonna give you the same advice Doc Brown gave Marty:

Don't gently caress Your Mom!

# ? May 8, 2018 18:47

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

fruit on the bottom posted:

You were expecting Pnurtis, but it was me, Holy Diver!

Have a spicy boi

Me [19M] with my mother [39F]. I haven�t seem her for my whole life, I re-connected with her and now we are attracted to each other and I need advice

Lately I've been toying with the idea of doing a reversal of the cinematic release -> porno business model where I will create serious, big budget films based on pornography. Thank you for this, it's got a whole Les Cousins Dangereux vibe.

# ? May 8, 2018 18:50

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

fruit on the bottom posted:

You were expecting Pnurtis, but it was me, Holy Diver!

Have a spicy boi

Me [19M] with my mother [39F]. I haven�t seem her for my whole life, I re-connected with her and now we are attracted to each other and I need advice

quote:

The farthest we ever took it was holding hands and making out but nothing really sexual.

Making out w/ my mom, nbd.

# ? May 8, 2018 18:55

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

Admiral Ray posted:

Making out w/ my mom, nbd.

Genetic sexual attraction a thing that happens when biological relatives meet as adulta. I read up on it last time Reddit came up with a "met my dad for the first time and im in love with him" post.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:09

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

what happens when people read Oedipus Rex and miss the moral entirely

# ? May 8, 2018 19:11

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

cumshitter posted:

Lately I've been toying with the idea of doing a reversal of the cinematic release -> porno business model where I will create serious, big budget films based on pornography. Thank you for this, it's got a whole Les Cousins Dangereux vibe.

Looking forward to your adaption of Backdoor Anal Sluts VII set in gangland Chicago.

Girl [18 F] that I like [18 M] is talking to someone else and tells me that if it doesnt work out she�ll go with me.

quote:

A few weeks ago, I asked a girl that I have known for a while to prom. We�ve always been close friends and I wanted to use prom as a way to finally escalate and take her out. She ended up saying yes. We continue to talk for a few weeks after, and I planned on taking her out and telling her my feelings.

The day before I was suppossd to take her out, it somehow gets brought up about whether we were going as friends or not. I wanted to wait until I saw her in real life to tell her my feelings, but I had no choice so I Facetimed her and told her everything. She felt bad which confused me at first, but then she then tells me that she thought we were going to prom as just friends, and that she has been talking to another guy that one of her friends hooked her up with. After she told me this, I called off going to prom with her.

What hurt the most is that apparently this other guy told her his feelings for her only a week before I did, so to me I was just one week late.

She tells me to just give it a little bit of time, and if it doesn�t work out, she�ll go with me for sure. At first I was alright with playing backup just because I liked her so much, but 2 weeks pass and it was absolutely killing me.

To give a little insight on what kind of person she is, she is pretty self conscious and doesn�t have a lot of confidence. All her friends get attention from lots of guys but she usually doesn�t, which is where that lack if confidence comes from. She has been complaining to her friends about not having a boyfriend for a while now.

I told her that we needed to talk, so we met up and I explained how i wasn�t happy with the whole backup sitution. I then ask her if she was dating this guy just out of pity, or if this guy actually made her happy. She told me that the guy actually makes her happy, so that was the end of that.

What made me even angrier was that literally a day after we met, I found out through one of her friends that she doesn�t feel any better about herself because this guy never compliments or makes her feel good about herself, even though whenever we talked, I always made sure to.

My question is what exactly should I do now, a lot of people have told me to just move on, but I haven�t lost feelings for her. I still talk to her and she always apologizes for leading me on. Just knowing the kind of person she is, I know she didn�t mean for this to happen.

TL;DR: Asked girl out to prom. Girl says yes. Later tells me she thought we were going as friends and that has been talking to another guy. I call prom off. Girl tells me to give it time and if it doesn�t work out, she�ll hit me up next.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

fruit on the bottom posted:

Girl [18 F] that I like [18 M] is talking to someone else and tells me that if it doesnt work out she’ll go with me.

An extremely teenager-rear end thing to think would actually work

# ? May 8, 2018 19:16

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

fruit on the bottom posted:

Looking forward to your adaption of Backdoor Anal Sluts VII set in gangland Chicago.

Girl [18 F] that I like [18 M] is talking to someone else and tells me that if it doesnt work out she�ll go with me.

The answer is to stop being a teenager

# ? May 8, 2018 19:16

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Girl [18 F] that I like [18 M] is talking to someone else and tells me that if it doesnt work out she�ll go with me.

A.K.A.: She's stringing you along. Ignore her and go stag or with someone else.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:17

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

dudeness posted:

I'm gonna give you the same advice Doc Brown gave Marty:

Don't gently caress Your Mom!

Oh, a lesson in not changing the past from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!

# ? May 8, 2018 19:19

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I (21M) am terrified that if I lose weight, people will find out I am gay. Is this a reasonable fear to have?

quote:

I live in a pretty homophobic country and region, pretty much everyone I know is homophobic. The option to come out is simply not there honestly. Not only that but people in my country tend to be extremely promiscuous, you are considered a weirdo if you aren't sleeping with a lot of people. Or worse, you're seen as gay.

I have been 100 or so lbs overweight since I was 14 years old. And in a way, it has helped me. No girl has really tried to do anything with me because of that. I've had sex with a girl once, and it wasn't like terrible or anything, but I very obviously wasn't into it and in order to prepare for it I had to take viagra.

Now, I am losing weight for health reasons and I've come to the realization that the sort of 'fat shield' I had against women is going to go away. I know how I am going to look. I remember people constantly saying how handsome I was even at 14 years old when I was skinny, both of my parents are also ridiculously good looking. This would be a blessing except for the fact that I am now going to be a huge target for women, and that is terrifying to me. I mean at bars and clubs when we all go out with my friends and cousins women are typically pretty promiscuous and flirt with all the guys, even the ones who are relatively ugly. How am I supposed to deal with that? Just reject them? Make excuses as to why I can't sleep with them? The pressure to sleep with these girls is overwhelming. All of my friends have been talking about how I am going to be drowning in girls when I lose weight and its just scary to think about. Eventually one girl is going to try and sleep with me and realize how uninterested I am or that I can't get hard for them and connect the dots that I am gay. I feel like it is inevitable.

I also don't want to like, abandon my friends and family or anything like that. Despite the homophobia I do love them very much as people and the idea of them finding out terrifies me. The worst part is that some of them might not really care deep down inside but the social pressure to not be seen with me or anything like that would be too much. Gangs often literally kill gay people here, and target those associated with them. Not like I would be a target, we don't live in a particularly dangerous part of the country, but either way just to show the social stigma of being associated with a homosexual... I almost wouldn't blame them for not wanting to be associated with me.

What am I supposed to do? Just slowly stop being friends with them? Somehow deal with the attention from girls? Fake sleeping with them?

TL;DR - - I am gay, live in a homophobic country in the closet. I am losing weight and am not sure how I would deal with attention from girls.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:20

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a lovely situation that happens sometimes, asking a friend you've had an interest in out only for them to say "well, I sort of just started going out with a guy..." But the answer is to stop being a teen

Like, she's been going out with the dude for a loving week, if she wanted to go out with you instead then she would. The truth is she has low self esteem, like you said, and is probably stringing you along because of that; it's probably unintentional, too. The only solution is to just find someone who actually wants to be with you.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:23

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Darkrenown posted:

Seems fake as hell, but still:

[UPDATE] Me[28M/F] with my 8mo gf[26M/F] wants me to get rid of my cat. I want to dump her.Updates

I've updated my probability estimate on Bar Cat.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:24

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Haifisch posted:

I (21M) am terrified that if I lose weight, people will find out I am gay. Is this a reasonable fear to have?

Find a lesbian, be each other's beards

# ? May 8, 2018 19:25

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Haifisch posted:

I (21M) am terrified that if I lose weight, people will find out I am gay. Is this a reasonable fear to have?

Don't worry, eastern Europe closeted dude, there are tons and tons of ways to make yourself unfuckable :unsmith:

# ? May 8, 2018 19:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Blade Runner posted:

Find a lesbian, be each other's beards

This is a lot of Chinese peoples plan and it lasts well approximately a week before the pressure to have kids comes out full bore.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

writing a post to make the forum spit out Barudak's post which it had been hiding in its mouth like a naughty puppy

e: I guess I can put some content in it

Barudak posted:

This is a lot of Chinese peoples plan and it lasts well approximately a week before the pressure to have kids comes out full bore.

oh no looks like we're infertile, too bad but Dr Leonard J Crabs says it's incurable how sad

# ? May 8, 2018 19:37

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Haifisch posted:

I (21M) am terrified that if I lose weight, people will find out I am gay. Is this a reasonable fear to have?

Don't know the country and don't care: there are already gay guys there, figure out what they do.

# ? May 8, 2018 19:39

Scruff McGruff: Feb 13, 2007; Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives.

Darkrenown posted:

Seems fake as hell, but still:

[UPDATE] Me[28M/F] with my 8mo gf[26M/F] wants me to get rid of my cat. I want to dump her.Updates

And that girlfriend was Albert Einstein

Like, I'm sure he did have a successful breakup and is feeling good about it but I agree, this feels very stdh.txt as much as I want it to be real. It sounds more like something you'd write when you're still in that sort of euphoric/manic state after accomplishing something difficult. Good on him for choosing the super cool cat _{that I'm refusing to believe is fake because I want to believe dammit!}

Scruff McGruff fucked around with this message at 19:45 on May 8, 2018

# ? May 8, 2018 19:42

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Doc Hawkins posted:

Don't know the country and don't care: there are already gay guys there, figure out what they do.

Not talk to fatties, clearly

# ? May 8, 2018 19:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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