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I (32f) just saw my husbands (32m) of 6 years DM conversations with an Instagram model. They were flirty but I'd say innocent. Does he have a right to a "private" online life or do I need to confront him that I know? So how do I get into this...so my husband has an Instagram account where he follows mostly snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding related posters. I know he does follow some "cheeky" insta-models but for the most part it doesn't bother me. So yesterday he was showing me IG pictures that our favorite ski resort had posted of the new chairlift they are installing. I'm not quite sure what I did but however I touched his phone I got to his DMs. Right there on the top was "you replied to misssky_xxxxx…." (not her real Instagram handle). He didn't seem to notice but just sort of naturally took his phone back from me. My curiosity/jealousy was going crazy so while he was asleep last night I logged into his phone and read the messages back and forth between them. This girl has about 80k followers so I was totally surprised but by all means it seems that she was really messaging him. It started off when she had made a post that said "looking for someone to travel to Germany with in October, only qualification is not be a creep." He sent her a messages that if he could get permission from his wife he could be free and the fact that he had a wife meant that he wasn't a creep. She apparently thought that was cute and they've been exchanging maybe 3-4 DMs a day back and forth for the last few days. There's nothing explicit at all, in fact she even asked about me and our kids (4 and 2) in fact the worst thing he said was "I've just always wanted to travel Europe with a model. Sort of a bucket list thing." I would say the messages were flirty, but no indication that anything would ever happen if that makes sense. I honestly don't know how I feel about this. Part of me feels that if we have a trusting relationship, then he should be able to message whoever he wants even on Instagram and there's a world of difference between flirty and explicit. The other part of me feels like this could be opening the door to much worse things happening and I need to put the kaibash on it right now. I would love any advice. I'm not a big social media user so a lot of this stuff is foreign to me so I would love any advice and recommendations on how I could or should react in this specific situation. What do I do? tl;dr: found out my husband shared messages with a model on Instagram and I'm very torn as to what my reaction should be.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 08:11 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 05:41 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (32f) just saw my husbands (32m) of 6 years DM conversations with an Instagram model. They were flirty but I'd say innocent. Does he have a right to a "private" online life or do I need to confront him that I know?
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 08:16 |
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HELP!! Did I break the law?quote:Edited for location: Arizona
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 09:13 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My [24f] best friend [25f] got incredibly drunk at my coworker's wedding and blamed it on me. Why do people put up with this poo poo? It's not your job to fix lunatics. When I reached my late teens I realized one of my friends was a lying, manipulative, attention-whoring bitch who had done a great job of making my like pretty stressful and I dropped her like the hot sack of poo poo she is despite the fact that we had been friends for ten years. There should be a bolded, pinned post at the top of the subreddit that says "Stop putting up with assholes!"
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 10:35 |
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What is really supposed to be the best case scenario for her here? He makes a pass at her and she shuts it down and continues to milk him for a free vacation?
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 11:43 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I (32f) just saw my husbands (32m) of 6 years DM conversations with an Instagram model. They were flirty but I'd say innocent. Does he have a right to a "private" online life or do I need to confront him that I know? Divorce him for being a pathetic thirsty rear end in a top hat.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 13:59 |
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Shnag posted:What is really supposed to be the best case scenario for her here? He makes a pass at her and she shuts it down and continues to milk him for a free vacation? He'd better gently caress that model if he's spending their family's money on her.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 14:34 |
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Hello Ketene posted:HELP!! Did I break the law? This rear end in a top hat is leaving out all kinds of relevant detail, which leads me to think he’s probably a belligerent loud jerk even by Arizona standards and likely a risk to himself and everyone around.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 14:40 |
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My 17-year-old was cursing and screaming, which I can't stand, so I screamed louder and cursed more to make her shut up
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 14:48 |
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I [29f] am on vacation with my husband [32m] and I intend to tell him I want to seperate when we get back.quote:I initially posted this to beyond the bump, but I need some additional advice. E: My[23F] boyfriend[29M] has been posting my nudes on tumblr for a year quote:So yeah. My boyfriend of almost 5 years started a tumblr page a year ago as us(we're apparently a couple who are porn fans and horny...) and posted my nudes all without my knowledge. He even pretended to be ME while posting them. I'm just totally at a loss. He's been reposting porn every single day even though weeks ago we both promised each other we would stop looking at porn so we could have a healthier sex life. He's commented on other women's porn tumblrs about how much"we" love them and "we" think they are sexy. I just. My brain can't process this. I don't know what to do. I think this is finally the last straw, I've had issues with his lying since day one but I've been stupid enough to stick around. gently caress.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 14:52 |
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I'm gonna have to call bullshit on the Dan Savage bike bottle piss thing, unless there's a citation. A cursory set of google searches turned up nothing. LadyPictureShow posted:I [29f] am on vacation with my husband [32m] and I intend to tell him I want to seperate when we get back. Yeah, NGL, how is there even a question here. It'd be one thing if he was just like, looking at nudes, but posting yours and pretending to be you is p. loving creepy.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:11 |
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She's not asking whether to break up, she's asking what to do. Like she says it's the final straw, so hopefully she's getting some good advice about DMCA complaints and killer lawyers
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:13 |
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Double post. I [37M] think my friend [37M] has given up on life and is making poor choices quote:Me and L met up at college where we were roommates and have been best friends ever since. Even bought houses close to each other to continue the friendship. We've had no serious relationships and we often go out to clubs together chasing chicks and having fun. When asked about the tattoo: quote:regular_chest
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:15 |
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[CA] Accidentally Brought Weed to Military Base. My car was almost out of gas, so I looked for a gas station on Google Maps which directed my weed filled (1/4 OZ) car to a military base. By the time I saw the gate and realized where I was it was already too late to turn around. I told the officers at the gate that I was looking for a gas station and requested to turn around, at which point the officer asked for my ID and said he smelled marijuana in the car. Next thing I knew I was was being searched and subject to a field sobriety test. I passed the test and the other officers that showed up took my weed and pipe and charged me with federal simple possession, a misdemeanor. I contacted my public defender who told me the best case scenario is getting this thrown out before it goes to court by negotiating with the D.A. The second best case scenario is going to court and having the judge throw it out. The two worst case scenarios involve paying the several hundred dollar fine and having a misdemeanor on my record or being placed on probation for a year and having the charge thrown out after the duration of that year, so long as I don't smoke weed for the entirety of the year. My public defender says he's waiting on a probable cause statement from the prosecutor so he can begin negotiating with the government, but I feel pretty uneasy about the situation and want to be as proactive as I possibly can. I wasn't trying to sell weed to anyone on the base, have no connections to anyone on the base, and seriously came on to the base completely by accident looking for gas. I also have no prior arrests or any record related to drugs of any kind. I used to have a medicinal marijuana card but didn't renew it as California's weed legalization had just gone into effect. And I don't mean the law was just passed, this was after dispensaries became open to the public. This feels like the most ridiculous happenstance fuckup I could have possibly gotten myself into without purposely trying to break the law. Is there anything I can do to mount a better legal defense other than wait for my public defender? And which of these outcomes realistically seems the most likely? Public defender seems like he knows what he’s talking about, but it never hurts to ask the reddit hive mind.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:16 |
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LadyPictureShow posted:I [37M] think my friend [37M] has given up on life and is making poor choices These guys really need to step out of the closet.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:21 |
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phasmid posted:My first exposure to him was in the mid-aughts, watching him weigh in on panel shows and the like. He grew up in the evangelical right and had a lot of keen observations. I only became familiar with his column much later and I'm afraid I'm unacquainted with the "Santorum thing". Although knowing Santorum, it's most likely as embarrassing as it is vile. Dude, are you sure you aren’t thinking of someone else? DS grew up middle of the road Chicago Catholic, is still regularly on political shows, writes political columns and is a weekly contributor to the Strangers political podcast (he’s the Editor in Chief of the paper, if I remember correctly.) but yeah, he’s been writing the column for like 25 years. Also, lol a gay man said he thinks vaginas are icky and ~bi erasure~ omg!!! Oh no!! (I’m a bi vagina-haver.)
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:31 |
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His column used to be called Hey human being. I'd say I agree with him 90% of the time. His stance on cheating is a little out there. He basically thinks that if your partner isn't indulging your kinks, feel free to cheat on them with someone that is ggg.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:32 |
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Poor little cumslut is about to lose his friend, which is really gonna be a downer when he's clubbing in his 40s.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 15:37 |
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Me [32F] with my husband [33F] Husband accused of having profile on dating site, says profile is a fake, how do we handle this?quote:I'm 32, husband's 33, been married for 2 years now, met when I was 26 and he was 27, were a couple for 2 years, engaged for nearly 2 years and married in December 2012, our anniversary's coming up in a fortnight. No honey, an evil Chinese man who I cannot be sure I will ever see again took pictures of me in water polo gear and photoshopped them. I wasn’t trying to (badly) seduce your friend with underwear pics. They were water polo pics. I got hackedby the Chinese! Like crooked Hillary!
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:11 |
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I don't know, if you were cheating on a dating site, choosing your wife's friend is a bad idea.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:14 |
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My (17F) boyfriend (18M) did something that has made me scared of him. I am considering leaving him because of it. A couple weeks back, my family received the devastating news that my cousin (17M) committed suicide. Whilst never close to me, this still hit hard. A family member the same age as me, dead. Since then, a series of medical issues in my family have put serious strain on both of my parents. And obviously, I feel a degree of stress from this too. I decided to confide in my boyfriend of eight months, let's call him Josh. So I tell Josh about what's been going on, and about how my mental health has been suffering from this (I'm my early teens I was anorexic and had a history of self harm, I know shits hosed) Josh stated he would have my back and that he loved and cared for me deeply. I believed all was well, until I saw his arms. He came to me today, all happy his usual self. Wearing a short sleeve t-shirt that showed his forearm where he had carved the word "HELP" deeply into his flesh. I was shocked, although retained my composure until I was in class away from him. I text him then, asking what the hell that was. He responded with "It was going to say "HELP HER" as a reminder to keep you safe. I did it for us." I freaked out, saying how that couldn't really be much more innapropriate and that I was horrified by what he did. He responded in confusion asking me what was so bad about it all. I told him that I didn't want to see him for the rest of the day. I needed time to think. He told me that wasn't possible that he needed to see me. My friends, let's call them Em and Ben, decided to take me outside as I was visibly upset. As soon as Em hugged me I burst into tears. Here's where the plot thickens. My father is abusive. Not to me, but to my mother. He used to hit her. Now he cuts, stabs, hits himself to stop it. As if that's really much better. So this outburst from my boyfriend shocked and horrified me. Josh gave me the space I asked for after Ben and Em removed me from the school bounds. Josh text multiple times apologising and trying to explain his behavior as "to help you". Near the end of the evening when I finally decided I had enough, I text him explaining why I was so upset, about my father, about it all. He said sorry again, then goodnight. I spent the day with Ben and Em, they talked me through what I should do. They believe the relationship is toxic and this is a massive red flag. I am inclined to agree, but I don't know. Maybe I'm jumping the gun because I'm upset. I am worried as to where the line blurs. When does doing things like carving "Help her" into ones skin become hitting me or someone else 'for us' apparently? What do I do? Should I try make things work? Is this a sign of a sociopath? TL;DR : Cousin committed suicide recently, and family is going through alot. Stress is getting to me, I opened upto my boyfriend and he decided to carve 'help her' into his forearm and tell me it was to remind himself to look after me. Should I leave him for this type of behaviour?
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:16 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (17F) boyfriend (18M) did something that has made me scared of him. I am considering leaving him because of it. RUN
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:19 |
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I dunno, I carve my grocery list into my abdomen before going shopping. It's the most efficient way. Well except when I carve it the wrong direction so I can't read it, but that only happens most of the time.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:26 |
Smirking_Serpent posted:He came to me today, all happy his usual self. Wearing a short sleeve t-shirt that showed his forearm where he had carved the word "HELP" deeply into his flesh. I was shocked, although retained my composure until I was in class away from him. I text him then, asking what the hell that was. He responded with "It was going to say "HELP HER" as a reminder to keep you safe. I did it for us." I freaked out, saying how that couldn't really be much more innapropriate and that I was horrified by what he did. He responded in confusion asking me what was so bad about it all. If you're going to carve reminders into your arm, don't wimp out halfway through. That's just wasted effort.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:37 |
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dudeness posted:I dunno, I carve my grocery list into my abdomen before going shopping. It's the most efficient way. Well except when I carve it the wrong direction so I can't read it, but that only happens most of the time. "Do you want to know how I got these scars?"
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:41 |
Chaosfirev posted:"Do you want to know how I got these scars?" "I kept misspelling 'Worcestershire sauce'".
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:45 |
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Xenocides posted:Me [32F] with my husband [33F] Husband accused of having profile on dating site, says profile is a fake, how do we handle this? When I politely asked the Chinese man to stop shoving his iPhone into my underwear all he did was flick his Fu Manchu and say noooooooooo. It was fairly rude of him, but I didn't want to cause a scene at the gym. But now I wonder: is that evil Mandarin trying to destroy my life for some inscrutable reason?
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:45 |
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That dude was way too big a fan of Looper
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:46 |
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No honey, I don't know why there's a human corpse covered in bite marks hanging from meat hooks in our basement. But now that I think about it, it might have had something to do with that Chinese man who sold me the strange plant on the day of the eclipse.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:48 |
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (17F) boyfriend (18M) did something that has made me scared of him. I am considering leaving him because of it. haha, being young was a trip
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 16:50 |
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Anne Whateley posted:I've never heard about the bike piss thing, but he's said various gross poo poo about bi people and about vaginas. There's also a lot of pressure to be GGG, past what some people would consider reasonable, that ends up with people being pressured to do things they don't like and/or greenlights the fetishist's cheating. I mean... people say he's bi-phobic because he's acknowledged that *some* gay people come out as bi first to test the waters. I get bi erasure is a thing (I'm bi myself) but cmon. This is a true thing that happens. They say he's transphobic I think because they're digging up super old columns before proper terms had been hashed out. He's never actually said anything bad about trans people and I would argue he has done a lot for them. Worst case he's said "if you don't wanna someone who is trans, don't, but make sure you're really examining where that comes from because society influences us more than we think." He said vaginas are gross like 8 years ago and so apparently he's misogynistic now. He refuses to call anyone a pussy because pussys are badass and can take a pounding. He calls people ballsacks instead. Seems pro vagina to me! I'm not like part of the Dan Savage fan club, and I don't agree with some of his advice, but the go-to list of problems people trot out are pretty bullshit.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:01 |
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The real issues with Dan Savage are things that aren't cool and woke to critique now, like pointing out that cheating is for assholes and that sex isn't the driving force of a relationship and you can make compromises about how sexually fulfilled you are in exchange for other types of fulfillment and indeed you may have to.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:05 |
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cumshitter posted:No honey, I don't know why there's a human corpse covered in bite marks hanging from meat hooks in our basement. But now that I think about it, it might have had something to do with that Chinese man who sold me the strange plant on the day of the eclipse. Ba-doo. So like are we only supposed to trawl /r/relationships here for sweet candy, or is it broader than that? I barely know anything about reddit, being that I hardly even used this forum after regging.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:13 |
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Pick posted:The real issues with Dan Savage are things that aren't cool and woke to critique now, like pointing out that cheating is for assholes and that sex isn't the driving force of a relationship and you can make compromises about how sexually fulfilled you are in exchange for other types of fulfillment and indeed you may have to. Shoo, shoo, back to the convent with you
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:15 |
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Pelvic Floor Wax posted:I mean... people say he's bi-phobic because he's acknowledged that *some* gay people come out as bi first to test the waters. I get bi erasure is a thing (I'm bi myself) but cmon. This is a true thing that happens. I obv don't hate the guy at all, but it's appropriate to acknowledge that he's said and done stuff that's less than stellar. But agreed my main issue with him is Pick posted:The real issues with Dan Savage are things that aren't cool and woke to critique now, like pointing out that cheating is for assholes and that sex isn't the driving force of a relationship and you can make compromises about how sexually fulfilled you are in exchange for other types of fulfillment and indeed you may have to.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:18 |
Mushmouth posted:Ba-doo. There's stuff that fits into this thread from other places on Reddit. It doesn't have to be explicitly from /r/relationships. There are also other threads which have other topics but frequently pull Reddit stuff like the bad with money thread in BFC.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:23 |
Pick posted:The real issues with Dan Savage are things that aren't cool and woke to critique now, like pointing out that cheating is for assholes and that sex isn't the driving force of a relationship and you can make compromises about how sexually fulfilled you are in exchange for other types of fulfillment and indeed you may have to. Umm the modern term for cheating is intuitive loving.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:24 |
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Hello Ketene posted:HELP!! Did I break the law? Also he's a Freeman on the land in larval stage. 'Sir who has a case against me? There was no crime here as no property was damaged. I do not create joinder with you!' While the judge is lining him up for a proper screwing.
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:26 |
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As an aside, I was talking with a friend who writes fanfiction, and apparently there's an entire subgenre dedicated to characters getting married and then aging such that the husband isn't quite so demanding and entitled about the wife's sexual availability and that just struck me as the saddest thing I'd ever heard What a fantasy, can't wait to dig into some dampened libido fiction about Squidward
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:28 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 05:41 |
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Pick posted:As an aside, I was talking with a friend who writes fanfiction, and apparently there's an entire subgenre dedicated to characters getting married and then aging such that the husband isn't quite so demanding and entitled about the wife's sexual availability and that just struck me as the saddest thing I'd ever heard the most depressing possible way for erotic-fanfic aficionados to "grow up"
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# ? Aug 30, 2018 17:32 |