ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrL5tqFczPE

Just saw this last week wonder if that's where they got the idea from.

I know some places have made it illegal to use boots, but I don't know all the specifics of it.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA I'm terminally ill and don't want to give closure to my sister?

Picnic Princess posted:

So wait, was he or wasn't he loving his teacher?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA I'm terminally ill and don't want to give closure to my sister?

Apologies in advance if this thread is a bit of a downer. This is a question I've been struggling with since I found out the extent of my condition, and it's honestly only gotten more stressful as time has gone on. By the way, please don't let my condition influence your judgement of me, I'm only including it here for context.

I'm a 29 years old woman and was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. So let me take this opportunity to remind everyone to get a mole map done at some point, it most likely would have saved my life. Anyway my condition has only gotten worse and my chances of survival are 10% at best according to those treating me. I've basically been told that I should prepare everything now for when I (most likely) pass away.

This leads me to a difficult situation regarding my sister. We've never really gotten along well, mostly living separate lives, and we completely stopped talking to each other several years ago. My sister was responsible for breaking up my first marriage after she told his parents something about me that they didn't approve of. His parents threatened to excommunicate him if he didn't divorce me, and he did. I haven't spoken to her since.

I've never forgiven her for this. And I never will forgive her. Ever.

However, my mother, father, and brother - while understanding my resentment - all want me to forgive my sister. They say that what she did was despicable and I'm completely right to despise her, but that if I don't forgive her before I pass she'll never get closure. Supposedly (all of this I've heard through my parents), she has been racked with guilt ever since she found out about my condition. She wants to apologise and seek forgiveness but I haven't given her the chance.

As I said, I cannot and will never forgive her. This post is not about whether I should forgive her.

This post is whether I should pretend to forgive her so that she can have closure. This is what my mother wants me to do. As it stands now, I have no intention of giving her closure and feel she doesn't deserve it. My family thinks I'm being vindictive (they haven't said this harshly due to my situation, but they really want me to forgive her).

Everyone in my family is extremely attached to this situation and I need some unbiased opinions here. So AITA for not wanting to give her closure?

therobit posted:

This one REALLY depends on what the sister told them. I can conceive of some things that would make OP the rear end in a top hat instead.

quote:

They say that what she did was despicable and I'm completely right to despise her, but that if I don't forgive her before I pass she'll never get closure

Haifisch posted:

My girlfriend (25f) moved in with me (30m) and she's been very rude and confrontational with my neighbors

Move out of your busybody hell neighborhood, OP.

Beachcomber posted:

In the thread she said the husband knew about it already.

Edit: also,

therobit posted:

This one REALLY depends on what the sister told them. I can conceive of some things that would make OP the rear end in a top hat instead.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Closure is a fake idea, and nobody owes their lovely family members anything. It's her life and her death and she can do it however she wants. Her sister ruined her marriage. gently caress her.

therobit posted:

I think it depends on what the sister told them and how that went down. Chances are it was something like a secret abortion, and if the sister did it on purpose then gently caress her. If it let slip on accident then maybe OP should forgive her. If the secret was about how OP was using meth and stealing to buy it, then the OP was the one in the wrong all along. I think the first scenario is more likely, and then it comes down to intent for me.

I think OP should forgive for her own good, not her sister's, and also I think that she is better off without a dude that would leave his wife because his parents told her to.

Midnight Voyager posted:

You better be prepared to loving fight for that disability rating, My cousin burned out his lungs from a gun backfire in Desert Storm and it took him until I was twenty to get his disability properly. For context, I'm 32. That was roughly 10-ish years and many legal battles. He can barely walk in from a parking lot, his lungs are shot.

Also as someone who's done medical reports from the VA, I would find it difficult to completely trust the VA because it is hell. It is actual hell. Just transcribing medical reports of people who go to the VA is soul-crushing in a way I cannot express. I don't see how it doesn't break everyone who works there. Literally every one of them harmed my mental health just knowing about it. I don't think functioning humans can work in that environment.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wanting to report my friend to all the stores he rips off?

Friend has clinical OCD which may play a factor in this but he still knows it's wrong and always says he'll stop. Never does.

Been going on for the 6 years I've known him, and who knows how long before that.

He's been banned from ordering from Amazon and now Boxed Lunch.

What he does is: 1) Order something online 2) Receive the item and call and complain you didn't get it to get a refund 3) Take the item to the actual store and return it with no receipt for store credit 4) Profit

I've been at the store when he ordered clothes, called and got his money back, took the clothes in and returned them but ALSO took stuff off the rack and returned them too. Store gave him a gift card. He just said it was a separate order and he didn't have the order information. Store doesn't care. They just process it.

If one store blocks him, he'll drive out of his way to another location to return stuff. As long as he can get a refund, along with getting his money back

He ordered a custom anime statue. It was delivered to an address he since moved from. He asked me to go grab it for him since I lived closer. I did. We unboxed it and everything. I log on Facebook a couple weeks later and a post happens on my timeline of him complaining to the artist that nobody called him back and he never received it. I'm like "wtf I know you got this one!" He just says to mind my own business.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to report this stuff? It's annoying that he rips everyone off, and also annoying that he lies when questioned. I've been there in person for this stuff far too often, and it's uncomfortable.

I've been at dinner where he's plucked his own hair out to put in the meal to get it comped...his dishonesty knows no bounds.

I ordered something for him from Boxed Lunch for store picked up, forwarded him the confirmation pickup email, he picked it up and then I got an email thanking me for calling customer service. It threw up some red flags. I'm like "is he calling claiming they we are damaged or something", "did they give him a gift card or something"...luckily there's just a week delay between someone calling (I did) and getting the thank you email

Am I an rear end in a top hat?

therobit posted:

I think it depends on what the sister told them and how that went down. Chances are it was something like a secret abortion, and if the sister did it on purpose then gently caress her. If it let slip on accident then maybe OP should forgive her. If the secret was about how OP was using meth and stealing to buy it, then the OP was the one in the wrong all along. I think the first scenario is more likely, and then it comes down to intent for me.

I think OP should forgive for her own good, not her sister's, and also I think that she is better off without a dude that would leave his wife because his parents told her to.

quote:

My wife had started a new job last year, and I had been honestly feeling weird about it. She's now the breadwinner, which didn't come as a surprise, and I guess I felt emasculated. Instead of taking to her about it, I took my brother's advice and started reading about PUA/RP tactics.

I've been attempting to be more masculine to bring out more of her feminine side, and it has backfired horribly. First, I stopped being emotional with her, and she kept complaining about a disconnect between us, but my brother told me to keep on doing it while assuring her everything was fine.

It wasn't working, so I decided to try dread game. I started going to the gym and working out more, going out with the guys more. I stopped making plans with her except occasionally, which forced her to cancel plans or go without me. I was flirting with women more, and I changed the way I talked to them entirely.

It came to a head last month. She asked me to go to a work event, I told her that I had plans with the guys, and she snapped. She told me she wasn't stupid, she knew that my brother was a PUA (she has him on facebook, and I don't have a facebook,) and that I was using his tactics on her, and that she had enough.

She moved out. I think she overreacted because I probably would've stopped had she confronted me, but she says she didn't realize that I'd become a "scumbag."

She's willing to start couples counseling to consider coming back, but she isn't sure she wants to.

I miss my wife. She was my best friend and I admit I reacted poorly to her becoming the breadwinner, and I should've just talked to her (which she has told me.) She says that my treatment of her, including ignoring her concerns, means that I didn't want to just talk to her, but I wanted all the things that the tactics brought. I disagree, I was just being stupid.

Can I fix this? What can I bring to therapy to fix my marriage?

tl;dr: Tried framing tactics on my wife. She knew them because she saw my brother post something about them (but not me) last year. She left, wants counseling. Can I fix this?

Haifisch posted:

Me [36M] with my wife [29F] of 6 years, I tried frame tactics on my brother's [30M] advice, she knew them, can I fix this?

Nuking my relationship by taking my scumbag brother's advice and turning into a scumbag myself. Can I fix this???

FactsAreUseless posted:

The reason people give you a hard time in this thread, as well as your red text, is that you are naive to the point of being a little delusional. You're clearly not dumb or evil, just try a little less hard to see everyone's idealized perspective.

therobit posted:

I am also a naturally suspicious person

therobit posted:

I think most people are good at heart, and I believe in trying to see the good in people most of the time. It seems to serve me pretty well in life, but I am also a naturally suspicious person to it is tempered by that when I meet people in person.

I also think that this particular post is WAY more interesting if I imagine all the ways that OP could be the rear end in a top hat. Like I said, I think probably the sister blew it and if that was intentional, which is likely as well, then gently caress her. But I enjoy imagining all the weird ways in which the narrator might be the rear end in a top hat instead. Also in the reddit thread she is very, very careful not to ever explain what happened, and refuses to give any additional details when asked. I find that interesting.

Haifisch posted:

Me [36M] with my wife [29F] of 6 years, I tried frame tactics on my brother's [30M] advice, she knew them, can I fix this?

Nuking my relationship by taking my scumbag brother's advice and turning into a scumbag myself. Can I fix this???

FactsAreUseless posted:

You're clearly not dumb

teen witch posted:

“I psychologically abused my wife because I’m a literal child and didn’t talk to her like a human - why won’t she come back I love her why”

Do men really get that bent out of shape because of women making more?

teen witch posted:

“I psychologically abused my wife because I’m a literal child and didn’t talk to her like a human - why won’t she come back I love her why”

Do men really get that bent out of shape because of women making more?

therobit posted:

I think most people are good at heart, and I believe in trying to see the good in people most of the time. It seems to serve me pretty well in life, but I am also a naturally suspicious person to it is tempered by that when I meet people in person.

Barudak posted:

Yes. The literal only role most men understand/are taught is masculine is that of "provider" so if thats not their function in the relationship they melt down because what else do they have to offer? Sure as poo poo not cooking, cleaning, planning, and emotional support.

FoolyCharged posted:

You uh, do realize they have to do all those things except the last while single, right? And that if they don't do the last they will be single.

QuarkJets posted:

One of your "what if" theories for justifying the sister's behavior was that maybe the OP used to steal poo poo to fund a drug addiction. What happened to this belief that all people are good when you were writing that?

Haifisch posted:

Me [36M] with my wife [29F] of 6 years, I tried frame tactics on my brother's [30M] advice, she knew them, can I fix this?

Nuking my relationship by taking my scumbag brother's advice and turning into a scumbag myself. Can I fix this???

QuarkJets posted:

After reading this thread, do you really believe what you wrote here?

Women are marrying men who literally can't wipe their asses.

FoolyCharged posted:

This thread's content is generated by idiots who think asking reddit for relationship advice is a type of decision other than horrible. I wouldn't exactly hold them up as the norm.

teen witch posted:

Do men really get that bent out of shape because of women making more?

therobit posted:

quote:

I was at the beach today and witnessed a dad trying to set up a 10x10 canopy for his family. They were struggling, it was father, mother and one daughter. They were not locking things down, pulling up opposite legs, going the wrong directions. A female companion of mine was with me under my perfectly constructed canopy.

Being an Eagle Scout I wanted to helped but stopped myself, this guy was trying to be a solid beach dad, do something great for his family. I didn’t want to interfere with his moment. My companion told me I should help, I stood my ground so this guy could have a dad moment..... then the canopy pole broke.

I was like drat I should have helped, but the in all his beach dad greatness he made it work. It took extra time, he probably got yelled at, but in the end his family was protected from harmful UV rays. AITA for not helping and letting this dad live his glory or should I have helped get it set up right the first time?

quote:

NAH - no self respecting Dad would even except/want/need your help and would be offended that you thought you even needed to ask. Mind your own business son.

quote:

NAH. You did the right thing. You let another man be a man.

quote:

YTA. Offering to help someone who is visibly struggling is just common courtesy. Instead of him reveling in beach dad glory, he could have been reveling in the spirit of cooperation AND had an intact tent.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

cultural appropriation is a goddamn crime because it results in depressed 30 something keyboard warlocks differentiating THOTs based on perceived fuckability. you pick that one up clubbing with Post Malone? how many times do you have to use it in casual conversation before it erases the stain of knowing what kind of RAM you use.

The White Dragon posted:

i hate thot because it doesn't parse grammatically

that that ho over there

MasBrillante posted:

My family hate that there is an age gap between me [31F] and my boyfriend [19M].
u/throwaway12345ss
I met someone 6 months ago and we have been together ever since.

He prefers older women, says he doesn't like immature girls (the irony of his age eh?).

I don't think he fetishes my age, we're both pretty silly as people, we spend our time together laughing a lot. We're very similar in many ways but obviously I have a lot more life experience. When I mention that, he gets a little annoyed as he thinks I'm sorta invalidating his life experience.

​

We're hopeless in love, I am aware that that it's the honeymoon period but I honestly feel like he's my soulmate. We even have matching tattoos, because hey we're pathetic like that.

​

Sexually, we're compatible - I know stereotypically its all about the mature woman being in charge but actually we're in a mild BDSM relationship, I'm the sub.

​

I have finally told my parents and best friends about the age gap. They are horrified and have stopped speaking to me. I am devastated. I don't see what the problem is, I didn't pursue him, I resisted his charms for a good two months. He's my best friend, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

​

They won't come round to the idea, my parents are strict Christians and were horrified when I got divorced (yeah there is that). My best friends think its gross and want me to find someone my own age. I know about power imbalances etc however honestly - he holds the power. Especially in the bedroom.

He's in his 2nd year at university, I make sure that we don't see each other if he has exams or assignments due. I refuse to compromise his education for my happiness. We live in the same country but not in the same place.

​

I just want to leave the country and start again where no one will know.

​

Am I in the wrong for this relationship?

​

TL;DR I am in an age gap relationship, everyone disapproves of it. Should I end it.