Tiggum posted:

Incorrect.

Alanis Morissette posted:

And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well, isn't this nice?"

Tiggum posted:

Incorrect.

90s Cringe Rock posted:

That's just being a millennial.

Peanut Butler posted:

so, *highly* ironic

RandomFerret posted:

It's dramatic irony, you dipshits. You know, the thing everybody actually means when they use the word "ironic"

Sunswipe posted:

Just typical of the double standard in the legal system. A major corporation has a Baby Nut and it's all fine, the lead singer of the Lost Prophets has one and goes to jail for it.

Plastik posted:

Re: Planters Nuts' new mascot, Baby Nut:

RandomFerret posted:

It's dramatic irony, you dipshits. You know, the thing everybody actually means when they use the word "ironic"

Jedit posted:

It will never not be too soon to make jokes about that.

Jedit posted:

It will never not be too soon to make jokes about that.

Pastry of the Year posted:

Yeah, I was sorely torn about a mild probation for that joke's sheer tastelessness, but in the end I just had to admire the timing and the loving audacity of it. o7

Plastik posted:

Re: Planters Nuts' new mascot, Baby Nut:

Jedit posted:

It will never not be too soon to make jokes about that.

JediTalentAgent posted:

A strange thing about Columbo: It had increasingly unrelated (literally) spin off.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs._Columbo

"Mrs. Columbo, later known as Kate Columbo, followed by Kate the Detective and then ultimately Kate Loves a Mystery is an American crime drama television series initially based on the wife of Lieutenant Columbo"

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

This thread brings up Columbo, like every 30 pages; inevitably followed by someone mentioning the existence of Mrs. Columbo and I'm not sure what I have to do to get the 1st part without the 2nd.

The Missing Link posted:

It's like anytime someone mentions Super Mario Bros 2 someone inevitably says "In japan, it's known as Doki Doki panic." You just have to accept that it's going to happen.

John Murdoch posted:

A strange thing about Doki Doki Panic, it had an increasingly unrelated spinoff called Mrs. Doki Doki Panic.

HelleSpud posted:

https://imgur.com/gallery/iW04kkR

16 image home inspection gallery with commentary. They're in LA.

babyeatingpsychopath posted:

The Hills Have Eyes of sistered joists. Cousined joists, perhaps. Brother-mothered joists?

HelleSpud posted:

Those joists can rule Spain or win the AKC

Samuringa posted:

https://twitter.com/avaritious/status/1230576597654261762

Amoeba102 posted:

He don't mind stealing bread, he's the mouse of decadence.

Rockbear posted:

When my ES Deklynne was 5, we were at a family gathering, and my sister suggested that we let all the kids play with crayons while the adults socialized. Innocent enough, I thought.

A half hour later, ES runs up to me and hands me a picture that he's drawn. It's a crude drawing of two persons, one peach colored and the other blue.

"Look, mommy, I drew you and Sonic!"

The words were like a dagger in my heart. It had been in the news all week. Sega had declared bankruptcy. And now, my ES was associating me with their mascot.

The message was obvious. "Mother, I see you as a failure. You will never be successful. Everything you do will fall to pieces. Shenmue is overrated."

The other adults in the room pretended not to notice this mortifying insult, out of politeness, but they all grew awkward and quiet. My ES looked at me, feigning confusion as my hot tears hit the paper.

I'll never forget the sinister look in his eyes as he said, "What's wrong, mommy? Don't you like Sonic?"

When ES ignores my texts and calls, when he sends back my gifts, I think back to that day. I should have known then that his heart was wicked. I should have had the strength to stand up for myself against his abusive, gaslighting behavior.

I know better now. I understand my worth. It's hard but I get better every day.

Thanks for listening, everyone. This message board has been such a good support system. Anyway, it's lent, so I gotta go fast.

Maya Fey posted:

is there a stream of stupid bullshit to get mad at i can watch like the msnbc one last week

Calibanibal posted:

yeah just click the '?' below your avatar

Tiggum posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

https://twitter.com/charkie/status/1233558521297408000

Admiral Joeslop posted:

No, no, the strap on goes on the OTHER side.

It's like you've never seen Gonzo porn.

Griefor posted:

I once read a text online about how the song Ironic doesn't contain a single example of actual irony. But that fact itself is ironic.

Pie Colony posted:

there's a presumably adult male in here that doesn't know how to pee. lmao

Fellatio del Toro posted:

its not hard lol, just poke a little hole in the balls and squeeze it out

Paladinus posted:

Okay. But what if the red piss just keeps coming out? Asking for a friend.

evobatman posted:

The pen test on our server room failed.

Sickening posted:

Is that an otter?

iospace posted:

Wondering that same thing.

evobatman posted:

It is indeed an otter.

Happy ending:



No idea how he got in, probably through a drain or the ventilation, the building is very close to the shore.

D. Ebdrup posted:

Would you now say you know one an otter?

nexxai posted:

booooooooooooooooo

Zamboni Rodeo posted:

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Platystemon posted:

Rookie mistake.

Poke a hole and the pee will go everywhere.

The superior technique is to snip a corner.

Krankenstyle posted:

look out here comes my balls

Senior Woodchuck posted:

It's as far removed from my daughter's birth as the Kennedy assassination was from mine.

Gripweed posted:

hosed up that two generations are so defined by the crimes of the Bush family

chitoryu12 posted:

I went to a taco festival that’s held in the parking lot at a driving range today. You need to walk half a mile from the event parking to get there. A huge group decided that they could just park in a field that the map said was closer.




Off-screen: the girls in dresses yelling at the guys for making them crawl through barbed wire to eat tacos.

Blue Moonlight posted:

Maybe if we made more Americans crawl through barbed wire for tacos, we’d have better immigration policy towards Mexico.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I wish everything in my life made me horny instead of just most things.

OwlFancier posted:

1. of course the french have parquet flooring in the bathroom
2. he turns german when he gets agitated.
3. how the gently caress does that soil pipe work???

Inceltown posted:

Point two is very normal in France and they have a long history of this happening.

Platystemon posted:

Rookie mistake.

Poke a hole and the pee will go everywhere.

The superior technique is to snip a corner.

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

This only works in Canada.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

This made me yell HA in what I can only describe as a Sexy Nelson voice.