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HelmetCheese posted:Thanks, I've seen a couple big South Korean movies (Oldboy, can't remember what else) and have been meaning to check out more stuff. Any other good suggestions? My netflix queue could always use more titles. I tried to watch 'Triple Tap' but the setup was too stupid for me to get more than 30-40 minutes into. 'Antarctic Journal' is boring and has no payoff at the end. My roommate and I were both remarkably bored and then let down by it. There is no monster, everybody's just tripping balls for some stupid reason. I spoilered that for those who care to watch, but I really felt like it was a bait-and-switch - early in the movie there's a scene with some weird alien-or-something goop and a bizarre eyeball under the snow, which was then literally never mentioned or recalled for the rest of the movie and I was left wondering if that had been some 'Fear and Loathing in LAs Vegas' poo poo or what. I keep meaning to watch 'The Show Must Go On' (the same actor who portrayed the doofy hero in 'The Host') and I've forgotten the names of dozens of really great korean crime and action flicks, but their horror and crime is generally great. Once you watch a handful of Korean films on Netflix it will start recommending poo poo nonstop. Most of it is worthwhile. edit: I almost forgot. It's not Korean, but 'Muay Thai Warrior' is amazing, for the diapers and mohawks the tribal warriors sport if nothing else, alongside it being a samurai who learns muay thai to fight off ninjas. 'The Warrior's Way' is a similar plot but set in the old west, and I don't think it's Korean. It's pretty crazy though. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 21:39 on Jul 19, 2013 |
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Jul 19, 2013 06:39
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Last night I watched 'Day of the Falcon', which started a bit slow but ended up being just as good as it was rated. It's basically 'Dune' though, set in 1930's Arabia with Antonio Banderas as Baron Harkonnen. If you're willing to suspend disbelief at some of the casting, it's a fun movie full of battles and people dying to the elements in the desert.MacGowans Teeth posted:The mustaches are also fantastic, don't forget those. I just saw this and while the CGI blood was lame, everything else was pretty sweet and it was a lot of fun to watch.  . IIRC the blood was completely over the top ludicrous, which had to have been intentional, and I generally hate that but it was super hilarious for me.edit: 'Assassin's Blade' (terribly confusingly named, there is a dude who gets, uhh, I guess sort of assassinated, and the blade was just a knife you never see again, I thought it was gonna be a revenge flick with assassins) is an okay romantic kung-fu movie, very traditional, good production and no terribly obvious rubber weapons and poo poo during most of the action. I don't want to spoil it but it's a pretty formulaic re-hash of a classic (western) story, once you start connecting the archetypal characters. Pretty fun, decent chick flick plus several dozen people being killed by one angry dude. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 23:35 on Jul 19, 2013 |
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Jul 19, 2013 21:47
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Here goes... Special Michael Rapaport (that dorky redheaded guy you see as supporting cast in Irish crime movies) is a loser meter maid who joins a study for a new SSRI and gains super powers. Or not. Or does. Or not. I made my roommate watch this one recently because I remembered really loving it, and it was certainly just as good (and enigmatic) the second time around. It has some sort of "Kevin Smith" style stuff, but is mostly nothing like a Kevin Smith movie (outside of the comic book shop stoners.) It's sad and sweet and hilarious and painful and triumphant - I can't 5 star this movie hard enough. Dabangg 2 aka "Misogyny: the Movie", or "This is the culture where women are gang-raped on public buses. You might realize why after watching half of this." It is funny, bizarre, musical, stars a guy who seems to basically be the Schwarzennegar/Stallone of India, and I couldn't finish it because it was just utterly unapologetic about how loving terrible people act toward women and lower castes. It was just too loud and proud about how cool it is to be an entitled, misogynist asshat. I saw this one a couple years ago but it's still up and my roommate saw Shrooms recently. It's a british slasher-in-the-woods flick with a funny premise, and it's pretty intense, gory, and hilarious. Enjoyed the ending reveal, too. Red Scorpion. This is a very early Dolph Lundgren movie and it's WAAAAYYYY over the top. I sat my roommate down to watch it because I thought this was the Dolph Lundgren buddy cop movie - NO! This is Dolph Lundgren going native with the bushmen in Africa, and then killing everyone. It was remarkably over the top, gotta say. Elfie Jenkins: Cannibal Hunter sounded like a fun (I like stoner horror movies) movie about a stoner chick fighting monsters. Turns out it is "The 'Burbs" with a damaged-goods stoner chick as Tom Hanks, and the silliest pack of hipster cannibals ever as her antagonists who move in next door in view of her bedroom window. Entire plot can be summarised as Harry Potter wannabe is a Nice Guy, eventually gets the girl after doing lots of whippets instead of going to college. Was not impressed, wouldn't recommend to stoners, horror fans, or Nice Guys who always get friend-zoned. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 00:47 on Jul 26, 2013 |
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Jul 26, 2013 00:41
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insularis posted:Watched this on your recommendation, as it seemed like something I'd like. I couldn't 2 star it enough. It was just depressing and boring to me. I didn't see any ambiguity about his powers being anything other than mental illness. I think this is another love it or hate it movie.
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Jul 29, 2013 01:28
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The Human Centipede is pure comedy, anyone who can't handle that movie, takes themselves way too seriously. I actually fell off the couch laughing when the girl who was escaping fell into the pool, and the doctor cries out, "Now I know who will be in the middle because the experience will be TWICE AS INTENSE!"
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Aug 1, 2013 21:33
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The other day I watched Deathstalker, which was a hilariously trashy Conan-wannabe film about some big muscled guy who roams around kicking rear end and gets a magic sword to fight an evil wizard. There's some really unintentionally hilarious stuff in it, like the evil servant who gets transformed into a hot woman by the wizard, and then the barbarian Deathstalker tries to rape him. I expected it to be terrible and unwatchable shlock that I could read a book to, but I ended up riveted. Then I watched Dinosaur Island, which is a low-budget titty flick with a story that is pretty much The Land That Time Forgot. With topless women everywhere, doing inexplicably topless things. It was really terrible and a lot of fun, I am generally not into trashy exploitation films but this one was really kind of amazingly bad. And did I mention that there are boobs? Lots of breasts? And topless women wrestling, and running, and fighting green-screen dinosaurs by jabbing spears in (usually) the right direction? I loved this.
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Aug 23, 2013 18:15
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wormil posted:Just pretend it's a Tom & Jerry cartoon... turn your brain off and watch. The minute you start wondering why the cat doesn't just eat the mouse it all breaks down. And where the hell did they get that many machetes with brass knucks, anyway? Was the first order of business when the lights went out, "hey bro, let's go break into the import store and nab some sweet Klingon steel!" coyo7e has a new favorite as of 18:36 on Aug 25, 2013 |
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Aug 25, 2013 18:31
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Stand Off Brendan Fraser, comedy mix-up movie set in Ireland or something. The cover art makes it looks like a more hardcore crime/caper film, but it's really more of a family comedy. Pretty good, although I was expecting more bullet wounds and angry criminals. The Rundown The Rock is a bounty hunter who doesn't like shooting people so he uses Jackie Chan-style tricks to fight everybody who gets in the way of him catching Stiffler, so The Rock can start up his dream restaurant. There're a lot of little South American dudes doing rope tricks, and monkeys humping The Rock's head. Also there's an ancient gold cat because Stiffler thinks he's Indiana Jones. And Christopher Walken for no explicable reason, spouting off a bunch of Walken-isms which rarely make any sense. Blue Summer two high school guys slap flower power stickers all over their van, fill the van with cheap beer, and go on a road trip of drunken driving, loving underage hitchikers and bored housewives, and being creeped out by a biker who only speaks in monosyllables. The guys get laid about 6 times each and mostly get ripped off by anyone they have sex with, and then at the end they have a big fight with a hilarious twist. Lots of gratuitous hippy music and naked hippy chicks.
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Aug 26, 2013 17:43
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Dredd was okay, my roommate says it was pretty true to the comics. It was mostly forgettable for me. There is a licensed free phone game for android and probably iOS as well, that he says is pretty cool if you're into the comics. I guess the big thing about that particular rookie cop chick is that she's psychic and can scan the city for crimes or some poo poo, which is also in the phone game. Solomon Kane was decent shlock but I haven't read more than a couple of the original stories so I can't make a judgement on its veracity. I don't know the genesis of the character, but it seemed a bit unlike the actual content that I have read before, which is Solomon Kane with a badass juju staff and brace of pistols and rapier, generally being such a weirdly direct dude who beats evil by being a badass who doesn't believe ghosts can hurt him, etc. Max von Sidow is generally fun, though. wormil posted:Completely agree. The Pagan Queen was rated as a rough-seeming 3/5 when I checked it out, but it turned out to be a fairly interesting and touching drama about the founding of the city of Prague. I would recommend it, but can't summarise why without giving away the story I guess. It's dark and there was some weird rapeyness going on at one point, following (and followed by) a really sad failure of communication. I thought it was a very solid medieval drama, but it was not a happy movie in any way. I'd be interested to find out more about Prague's true history, now. The 3/5 may be reactions to how unrelentingly dark it is, it's not cheaply done or poorly acted in any way, it's just not a happy romantic movie. Bartleby is fun, I've been beating around the bush about watching it for a long time. The set design and costuming are really something, as are the actors' performances. It is a weird and dreary movie, and wonderful. I think I need to go back and check out some Melville, no., besides Moby Dick I've never read anything of his. Fuckin' Crispin Glover.  Neo Helbeast posted:Watched Spykids 4 today. It rotates between being pretty funny and one of the worst movies I've ever seen pretty consistently. The villains backstory is a little depressing too, he got frozen in time as a kid and watched his dad spend the rest of his life trying to save him and then dying before he could. All the villain wants to do is just go back in time and tell his dad he loves him.  Also what the gently caress are you doing watching Spykids!? 
coyo7e has a new favorite as of 06:54 on Aug 30, 2013 |
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Aug 30, 2013 06:30
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The Core I am pretty sure I saw this one before and forgot, but it's super formulaic and predictable so maybe not. A scientist finds out the world got knocked off its axis, and then conveniently there's a dude who's spent 20 years building the world's biggest black dickship. They drill into the center of the earth and play Snake, there are tribulations, some people die who you expected to, the world is saved. I gave it 3 stars mostly due to the actors, otherwise less. Fun movie for kids. Dachimawa Lee Austin Powers: Korean style. This is a surprisingly sly movie that pokes fun at a lot of genre tropes. It's also terribly dumb, like Austin Powers, so it may not be for everyone. I can't really remember the plot, except that Lee is a secret agent who's trying to rescue a golden buddha statue. Worth a watch. Who is Harry Nillson? (And Why is Everybody Talkin' 'bout him?) Biography of Harry Nillson, the "Lime & the Coconut song" guy. Turns out I knew jack poo poo about this guy's work, and he actually wrote and sang most of the songs I thought were my favorite Beatles songs, as a kid. A real rock and roll tragedy story about being too wrapped up in one's own head, there's a great deal of in-depth discussion of the circumstances and backstories to his songs and what was going on during the times when he was recording certain albums. This is a tear-jerker, the part with his first son where the kid says, "It's ironic that the story of his dad in '1941', that's exactly what he did to my mom and me," absolutely killed me. G-Men From Hell There are some feds. They get killed. They come back and do some stuff. I lasted about 10 minutes, it was really terribly low budget, and I couldn't sit through it even though I was totally zombified at 4am. Dog Pound for some reason I thought this was a British juvvie drama, but it's set in like Montana or Colorado. Pretty standard kids fighting kids in juvvie hall, it starts off brutal and graphic, and some of the beatings are on the level of (a personal favorite) "Bad Boys'" cokes-in-a-pillowcase scene. The circumstances behind what goes wrong later in the movie are really tragic, yet there is not any closure on the matter. Very good movie, although there's a :trigger: rape scene, a guy gets an eye gouged out, and your standard bullying fare from prison-type movies. Dawn of the Dragon Slayer a farm boy is real dumb. His dad dies, he goes off and continues to act dumb. There's a bad CGI dragon, a gorgeous female lead, a noble rear end in a top hat as a foil, and a suprisingly nasty mean old man. Standard training montage swords and sorcery with light romance, but darker than most stuff you see these days. Pretty solid if almost entirely predictable. The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption Ron Perlman is a king who hires a disappointingly-skinny replacement for The Rock's previous character role. The Scorpion King mostly makes a lot of lousy wisecracks, befriends a big drunken fat guy, goes on an adventure, is double-crossed, makes wisecracks, then is triple-crossed, then ninjas (and more wisecracking), then hot chick ninjas, some awkward romantic scenes, wisecracking, and then undead hot chick ninja witches. Finally there's a climactic scene with a very saucy Billy Zane mostly keeping the movie to a watchably entertaining level. If not for Billy Zane I'd deem it unwatchable, since the usually show-saving Ron Perlman has maybe 5-10 minutes of screen-time, total, and since most of the quips are very much on the level of  .Retro42 posted:Don't know if they have been mentioned yet but Tai Chi Zero and it's sequel Tai Chi Hero are both on instant. Good films if you want a fun martial arts flick. Deadite posted:It has been a while, but in the book doesn't the man watch other travelers roast and eat a baby? I personally didn't bother trying to finish watching The Road, the entire thing with like Charlize Theron or whoever, was really dumb, and turned the whole movie into a sob story flashback romance. Which was weird because The Woman was barely even a character in the novel, and was written very purposefully to be that way. I stopped watching after like 40 minutes, and have little interest in seeing the rest. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 19:36 on Sep 4, 2013 |
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Sep 4, 2013 19:31
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Kraps posted:Thanks, I'll watch this now. Great movie though. Prof. Numbers posted:Parker is up. It's better than the typical Jason Statham vehicle, even though it costars Jennifer Lopez.
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Sep 9, 2013 23:31
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Twitch posted:I just watched Event Horizon for the first time. Not a great movie, but worth watching for the scenes when poo poo starts going bananas. Basically, I feel like it's a movie that's been done better, and for the most part it was strangely boring, but I'll still give it a recommend based on crazy demonic Sam Neill and a lot of the gorier scenes are over the top in that Paul W.S. Anderson way that's usually entertaining. 
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Sep 10, 2013 17:28
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SuitcoatAvenger posted:Skyfall just went up. I'm a huge James Bond fan, so despite its various quirks, I was greatly pleased with it. It's basically a big love letter to the franchise's history, and pretty effectively gives the modern-day Daniel Craig "Pitbull" Bond a bit of old school Connery-era swagger. Big action, secret lairs, over-the-top villain. Lots of fun. ...of SCIENCE! posted:It's not from a movie, those are legitimate things that actual wine people believe in/have fallen prey to. They're like the audiophiles of the food world. mr. mephistopheles posted:Mythbusters did an episode with a professional vodka taster and he was able to rank them all by quality (price) perfectly. Identifying year is totally bullshit though.
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Nov 13, 2013 00:42
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I saw City Under Siege last night and have no idea why it was rated to me as 2.5-3 stars. It's the touching story of a good-looking-but-retarded guy who can't perform his family's martial arts, who gets left for dead by the other performers of the (low-down dirty robbin' banks kind of) circus he cleans toilets for, after they try to rob some (long-dead, fictitious, and entirely unexplained BUT still rich) gold miners which they inexplicably find while hanging out in some hangout of theirs which happens to be near a military testing facility for FEV to create supermutants. Luckily the FEV mutagens give Forrest Gump enough superpowers to be decent at his kung fu (you'll  when he gets angry), and it gives a shot of life into a washed-up April O'Neil's career. Bebop, Rocksteady and the rest of the foot clan blow poo poo up, there's some kung fu cops who hunt mutants, and some really hamhanded Way higher production values and more entertaining than I expected, and I think that April O'Neil has been in a lot of stuff I've seen, she's usually pretty entertaining.. (Didn't she play a blind girl in a Yun-Fat Chow movie or something?) Ending continuity weirdness: Forrest takes TWO knives completely through his chest/shoulder and out the back, and never bleeds a drop, even while April is bleeding to death form the exact same kind of wound? coyo7e has a new favorite as of 17:53 on Nov 13, 2013 |
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Nov 13, 2013 17:46
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showbiz_liz posted:I watched the first 15ish minutes of that movie and just felt like I was shrugging continuously so I turned it off. Does it get better? Because I wanted to smack the one guy about 5 minutes into it. Oh you're tormented and dislike Bruges? Fascinating.
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Nov 16, 2013 18:48
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Empire State is a surprisingly high-quality caper/crime drama with The Rock. I guess it's based on some actual crime back in the 80s or something. Starts out funny and gets pretty serious toward the end.Goon posted:Grabbers is very funny. Good monsters too.
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Nov 17, 2013 19:51
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SuitcoatAvenger posted:I'd write a lot of it up to bad marketing. The trailer certainly had no qualms about painting it as an actiony, Tarantino-in-Thailand kind of story. I can see some parallels with Valhalla Rising, but Valhalla Rising is pretty action-packed and focused, compared to Only God Forgives. Twitch posted:I guess I'll just have to be content with adding that I thought Kristin Scott Thomas was amazing in Only God Forgives, and steals every scene she's in. She was either really hot in the movie, or the creepiest person ever, and I can't really decide. the entire time.For really hot:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4457335/?ref_=tt_cl_t5
coyo7e has a new favorite as of 20:21 on Nov 19, 2013 |
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Nov 19, 2013 20:18
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So I watched a few movies over the last couple weeks and somehow, my luck was excellent and almost every random movie I chose turned out to be good in one manner or another, topped off with a couple of frankly amazing ones.. Dead Man Down - Colin Farrell is a goon and the lead guy from "Hustle & Flow" is his boss. There's a (really, really hot) chick with terrible scars across half her face, they start a romance by waving at each other through their apartment windows. Then the gloves come off and people start telling the truth. She blackmails him, and then things get strange, sexy, and ugly as they plot a course for the Isle of Bloody Revenge. I am kind of "meh" on Colin Farrel for some reason however, I almost always like his movies. Hammer of the Gods - is some average vikings on a quest fare, featuring Broody Leader, Crazy Berserker, Ugly Guy, etc. The story is pretty predictable, Broody Leader's father (the king) is dying, and there's no suitable heirs. So the king sends Broody off to find his brother, who everyone thought dead (and everybody's be better off if he was.) It then becomes Heart of Darkness. They brave many adversities to finally find Broody's brother, Colonel Kurtz. There're a lot of blue woad tattoos and mud and bones and stuff near the end, a pit fight, and Ophelia makes a cameo. It was shlocky, but not terribly so, and a lot stranger than I expected going in. Burke and Hare (2010) - Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis, with a (very drunk and gorgeous) Isla Fisher. Simon Pegg's wife (Jessica Hynes) steals a lot of the scenes however, it's a pretty funny romp about graverobbers, drunk prostitutes wearing pants and badly reciting Shakespeare, and people getting in over their heads. Simon Pegg's sex scenes with his wife are pure gold and possibly make the movie worth watching on its own. There's an older movie of the same title which I definitely want to watch, now. Battleground - bunch of dudes rob a bank in Flint, MI, but poo poo hits the fan and they hide in a shack out in the woods. Unfortunately, there's a scrawny old dude (who's somehow strong enough to push a blunt+square-fronted machete through someone's spine and out through their chest in one thrust). There's a thick guy who never takes off his sunglasses or body armor, in the crew, who reminded me of a character from "Heat" so I called him "Chubby Heat" the entire movie. Chubby Heat don't have patience for loving around. Booby traps abound, as do stressed-out hoodlums running into punji stick traps and stuff, in the woods. The old guy is really, really pissed off. If they'd been able to land someone like Christopher Walken to play the crazy Veteran it would have been a helluva lot more fun, he doesn't have a ton of lines but a scene-stealing actor would really have made this one potentially shine, especially with the little "Deer Hunter" homage thrown in toward the end. Worth watching if you like people dying in the woods. King of the Streets - fairly standard but quality, kung fu fare. A kid with a chip on his shoulder tries to become the best fighter on the streets, and eventually takes on like 20 guys who're wielding lead pipes, in a tennis court. Multiple, multiple, MULTIPLE flashbacks to this fight throughout the movie (the big fight scenes reminded me of some of the cinematography in "Attack the Gas Station 2" which is a must-watch also available on netflix instant!). He kills someone (completely in self defense, too!) and goes to prison, then gets out and tries to be a regular joe. Bad guys hate orphans (and they also hate the hot chicks who take care of orphans,) though, so he has to bust a lot of heads. Good acting, good fight scenes, the chubby guy is suitably humorous for his limited roles. It helps if you don't spend half the movie thinking that someone ELSE was "The Street Fighter" who everybody keeps mentioning, since they don't recognize the guy when he gets out of the joint. Capitalists hate orphans, but good kung fu can stop capitalism! Myn Bala: Warriors of the Steppe - historical-ish drama about the Kazakh people and their fight against one of the other ethnic groups which hated and picked on them a lot. Kazakh village is killed, two siblings and a boy escape with an old man and a woman, so they immediately go into the hills and start up a special forces training camp for steppe horse warriors. The kids get into their teens and get cocky, and talk a lot of poo poo at other Kazakhs who won't go off and steal horses and slit Dzungar (you may as well call them "Orcs," since they only wear black armor,) throats through kind of underhanded means. Eventually the bros have a difference of opinion based on one guy's ego, the Kazakhs decide to fight back, and then a big climactic battle scene to determine who gets to survive and own the steppes. I gave it 4 stars. (Now we get to the really good stuff..!) Dragon Knight -I picked this one because it had "Dragon" in the title, which is generally a gaurantee of something to be pretty crappy fantasy sword-and-sorcery fare. This was not what I was expecting at all- it's very very french art-house, especially if you expected some dragonslaying to be coming! The Dragon (Knight) is a dude who got horribly burned, there's a kid with a book which tells the story of how the Dragon Knight became the truest and most valiant knight in the land, who wants to find the DK and squire for him. The DK is not a very nice person though, and he's on a mission to capture a renegade poet who ran away from the pope's court (or who insulted the pope? Not entirely sure,) to run away with a woman. Bringing the poet back alive is optional, BUT he's the same guy who wrote the book about the Dragon Knight! Then there's a were-boar, and some of the most bizarrely anti-papist rituals (including nuns with ridiculous gags incorporated into their habits so they can't talk, an aboriginal mudman drum line, a gold incan-style effigy which seems to be of the pope and which needs to be baptized, and a guy in a metal tutu) I've seen in a movie that wasn't an Italian Western. Did I mention the were-boar? That was pretty hosed up. The ending was very satisfying, and if you enjoy art-house fare this may be pretty fun for you. I spent most of the movie going  Wild Bill Bill gets out of prison, where he got sent for getting caught with drugs, weapons, the whole shebang. Andy Serkis makes a (very greasy!) cameo, while Bill tries to figure out how to get back into his family's apartment, and thus back into the lives of his two estranged sons. Mom left, she never comes back. This is mostly an emotional drama about family friction and making bad or difficult decisions, with a surprisingly strong cast and excellent acting all around. Totally 4 or 5 stars, and if you were falling asleep from the emotional drama late in the movie, Bill takes on 7 or 8 guys at once to keep you going. A very satisfying film, probably will make some of you dudes sniffle. Finally, la piece de resistance: Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! A woman and her autistic son (who also has cerebral palsey for good measure) are celebrating Easter with her new boyfriend. Or it's Easter every day, because the kid's retarded and he loving LOOOOVES EASTER! The boyfriend is not a nice guy, and he's actually kind of hilariously greasy and sloppy. A strange homeless man gives the kid a pet rabbit as a secret present, and then the boyfriend decides to turn things into "The House on the Edge of the Park" once mom goes to work (after their first date when he sleeps over, apparently he just moves in!) Boyfriend doesn't like rabbits. Or retards. But he does like money, hookers, and doing really really dangerous lines of coke while driving around high as gently caress with a carload of hookers. Cheech and Chong show up to settle a score after they get fired from their housekeeping/landscaping/babysitting gig or whatever they were doing (painting? there's a gratuitous amount of plastic sheeting taped to everything!) and then the Easter Bunny gets out of the cage and starts killing people, and everything goes WAY Dario Argento for most of the rest of the film. I can't even describe it, they even throw in a gratuitous pedophile and one of the most bizarre happy! endings I've seen since "Let the Right One In." This movie first comes off as really low budget, but the camera-work seems to be intentionally primitive and is often framed in exactly the style of some of the weirder 70s Italian horror films, and it only has a cast of like, 8 to 10 total and maybe 2 sets which aren't inside the house, BUT it's just a nonstop pastiche of foreign exploitation horror/revenge films which was actually kind of amazingly well-done. Both myself and my (italian movie buff) roommate spent the entire movie after the first 10 minutes going , and when we watched the credits, almost everyone involved in the music, cinematography, and set design was Italian..!-Watch this movie if you're a movie buff, or if you like really ludicrous horror movie premises which work amazingly well! ...If you've seen "House on the Edge of the Park", you might be able to guess how things eventually play out, but the ending will kill you anyway Turfahurf posted:I don't know if it's been up for a while, but I just noticed that they have all four seasons of Farscape up which is a great scifi show if anybody hasn't seen it. Less serious than say Star Trek and lots of cool aliens from Jim Henson Co.
coyo7e has a new favorite as of 19:45 on Dec 5, 2013 |
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Dec 5, 2013 19:27
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Saint Sputnik posted:Gallowalkers with Wesley Snipes is a passable avant-garde western. The plot is pretty goofy and all the characters are out of an anime or something but it has all the right ingredients for a western, from the set pieces to the music. The gunplay is only so-so. I guess it's basically Blade: The Western. RightClickSaveAs posted:Yeah it's usually pretty nuanced, which is nice. There's a guy who holes up in a hospital with hostages because his daughter, who was in need of a heart transplant, got skipped over,
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Dec 16, 2013 21:17
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Zombie Hunters - Crazy drunk guy with a klingon knife gets in a wreck, and everybody except for (in the movie for for no real reason at all) Danny Trejo wants a piece of his  . Zombies get a little bit Resident Evil powered up, and there's a lot of softcore TnA and jokes about wanking and/or loving. Completely mindless fluff that's aware of itself, and suitably ridiculous. I liked it a good deal.The American - George Clooney is super paranoid, and then he starts to worry about everybody else, too! He really gets hooked on this hooker in a quaint Italian (or something) town while he's waiting to build a custom gun for some anonymous contract hitman. Occasionally, he goes all Jason Bourne and kinda gets the hots for an assassin chick. There are a lot of picnics involved. This is a decent keep-the-girlfriend-happy flick, with tons of slow scenery shots and romantic fluff between the ominous stalking scenes in medieval townscapes. Stranded - spaceship horror movie with Christian Slater pulling a solid role as the security officer dude. Most of the movie is held up by Michael Therriault (who I mistook for Michael Rappaport for half the movie). There's a lot of not being sure if everybody is hallucinating or if there is some creepy-baby stuff going on, and I was pleasantly surprised overall. Olympus Has Fallen - North Korea is evil, and they can somehow sneak hundreds of armed soldiers into Washington, D.C. with assault rifles and sweet skull bandanas. Gerard Butler kills (regrettably, because she's gorgeous and not in enough movies) Ashley Judd - early in, in front of her son - before going on to depopulate half of Asia. The Secretary of State looks remarkably like someone's secretary which cracked me up a bit, and then gerard Butler kills more evil asians, and his wife is totally gonna gently caress him after being the ice queen, after the end of this movie. This one is pretty great, I have to admit. It's like one of the old, good Steven Seagal movies, except with way more MMA and headshots. The knife in brain denouement is true, that was super dumb and great, and it wasn't even the best knife in brain of the movie! Hypothermia - is a movie containing some hidden gems (including the inestimable Michael Rooker aka Merle from Walking Dead, and "Henry", in all his curly-haired glory) despite its rather small cast and setpieces. The monster is totally a dude in a latex gimp suit with some poo poo glued to it however, it really doesn't matter because the movie is fun for all of its dumbness. I suspect that most of the cast joined in just so they could have a vacay and hang out on a snowy lake and do a halfass job on a silly monster movie with bad costumes, but it's a good time overall despite some hamfisted writing (the monster makes the movie). The Frozen - decent creepy lost-in-the-snow flick about a strained romantic couple, with some rather clumsy (spoiler for the first 3 minutes of the movie) "Oh god I'm newly pregnant and possibly injured and lost my babby :baw:" moments thrown in to artificially enhance the tension of being stuck in the woods with occasionally creepy faerie-zombies wandering around with torches, and stalked by scary rednecks. Ruined by its own ending (don't click this if you plan to watch the movie ever) but it's actually The Sixth Sense and boyfriend was a lovely driver. Run around shouting at other people but they can't hear you oh noes! The End. I rated it 2 simply because the ending was lovely and lazy after I felt like I'd waited for something better.  Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End - I started this one randomly, assuming it was some post-apoc dross/satire - and it is! With extra   JESUS! This is still a completely over the top and hilarious joyride and I really hope there is another one because it was fun as hell. Mild-mannered gun salesman just so happens to have a checkered past and bad memories, and then someone tries to rob him while he's trying to sell armored vests to a bible-thumping gun store owner! Hilarity ensues, along with a token biker gang led by Thor (who might be a werewolf to boot, not quite sure.) Strong recommends to pretty much everyone (except for Christians with good taste in film, sorry! v  v ) I kind of felt like I was being sold insurance or as if I was being told to vote for Mike Huckabee by a handful of vaguely recognizable actors for half the movie, but it was silly enough that it more than made up. Bounty Killer - some Grindhouse level post-apoc shlock about a hot chick in a cheerleader/waitress outfit, and the enigmatic dude she loves and keeps trying to kill. Rich people ruined the world and bounty hunters kick rear end, there's a cameo by a total Galafinakis wannabe and terrible lines thrown everywhere, very "Sin City"-esque. I think I remember a team of midgets showing up somewhere but that might have been a commercial for that pit bull "reality show" that popped up when I'd paused the movie... It all runs together in a slew of awesome, along the same level as Zombie Hunter but with worse acting. Black Forest - kind of like that "Once Upon a Time" TV series, except civilians tend to get eaten by trolls and stuff. Everybody's an archetype but eventually they reveal what was going on and it turns out pretty solid. Douchebags and Their Girls Lost in the Woods, except it's all fractures fairy tales. Kind of forgettable for all that. Devil's Pass - I'd been skipping this one over for a bit until the new XBox Netflix App updates which give multiple teaser shots for each movie - and I realized there were skeezy "The Descent" style monsters in it. Turned out to be found footage (which I hate,) and remarkably well-done. The premise for the scary poo poo caught me off guard, it continued to pile on really creepy little details which kept giving me shivers, and the ending twist was bordering on and  A great movie despite it being primarily found-footage, don't walk off and leave it playing or you'll probably miss some great details which would otherwise make it seem flat. Extra bonus technical points for the kids who get lost in the snow, supposedly being college students from the town I live in (they totally had a U of O pennant in a couple of early shots of a "dorm room", and then the kids all stood in deep snow in front of a building which doesn't exist on that college campus. But still, yay city-name and/or sports team!) "Silly children, you don't really believe what the media tells you..?!" Alien Uprising - aliens start rolling in to London or something, and the hungover dudes who like to jump bouncers bring their girlfriends (and the token American chick, which is rad because she knows how to use a gun!) and try to make it out of town to Uncle Van Damme's Farm since all the power is down and people are nuts. Jean Claude Van Damme is the safest place on the block! One of the girlfriends is super hot and looks kinda like Katy Perry, and there are alien spies inexplicably trying to kill people - women and children first! It gets kind of supernatural, then kind of monster movie-ish, then zombie movie-ish, and then the ending gets really crazy. I liked it however, I wasn't very satisfied with the ending (except for the News Anchor.) Too many clumsy flashbacks early in yet they don't hurt the movie too much. Jean Claude couldn't kick his way out of this one  The Iceman - 60s-70s crime drama about a polish dude who made it big killing people for organised crime and was a successful family man. Lots of roles filled by recognizable actors (David Schwimmer has an extremely regrettable mustache/ponytail combo going on,) doing solid crime drama work, with Winona Ryder playing the frightened housewife. There's an ice cream man with a van full of frozen bodyparts, which ought to be enough to get you to check it out and also Captain America is the long-haired sociopath driving the van! coyo7e has a new favorite as of 03:44 on Dec 23, 2013 |
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Dec 23, 2013 03:25
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Spuckuk posted:I got about three minutes into this before me and the missus quite accurately described it as the worst thing either of us have ever seen. You have had some kind of sheltered life, then. Try Aberration (just watched it last night, one of the most inexplicably included romances I've ever seen in a movie about people fighting killer lizards in a snowstorm, probably only included for the "keep me warm" jokes,) and then tell me that a low budget Christian Slater flick is "quite accurately the worst thing you've ever seen". Or hell just go straight to the bottom and try G-Men From Hell, or Zombies Vs. Strippers. Or even that Deathstalker one I posted about a month or few back, the swords and sorcery movie chock full o' misogyny and jokes about the protagonist forcefully attempting to rape a man who's been ensorcelled to look like a woman.. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 16:05 on Dec 23, 2013 |
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Dec 23, 2013 16:00
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Opopanax posted:A guy on the radio. Hence the unsubstantiated thing. One of them was crowing how great it was that Amelie was added to Netflix... I'm pretty sure it's been there for at least the 5 years I've had a netflix instant account, it was on my instant queue for a year or two but I never got around to watching it.
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Jan 6, 2014 23:59
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I'm well aware that it's excellent, I just haven't been in the right frame of mind for that kind of movie for a while. I'd way rather see people in latex monster suits chase bad actors around the woods, I guess.
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Jan 7, 2014 01:46
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I was about to recommend Severed Ways but they took it off Netflix. But forget netflix, find that movie and watch it anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGEyxTSDImc (trailer is not indicative of the Death Metal Soundtrack )
coyo7e has a new favorite as of 15:52 on Jan 8, 2014 |
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Jan 8, 2014 15:50
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Ragequit posted:Is The Last Stand as terrible as I imagine? I could do with a dumb action movie with a bottle of whiskey nearby. Continuity problem and inconsequential spoiler (since they never mention it again basically) But why did they never follow up on that gut shot?
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Jan 14, 2014 20:25
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I just figured those napkins he threw on the desk had magically healed it up. Happily ever after, The End.
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Jan 14, 2014 20:48
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Okay I need a second opinion. Someone who's familair with DC Cab, watch Knight Club and tell me that it's not making fun of Gary Busey. Also Lou Diamond Philips is Mr. T. I think I've found the meta-Busey 
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Jan 29, 2014 06:48
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Inzombiac posted:I can't check now but if you like Shaolin Soccer, you NEED to watch Kung-Fu Hustle. It's my favorite martial Arts movie.
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Feb 18, 2014 21:38
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crowfeathers posted:Ninja II Shadow of a Tear is now on Netflix Ninja II was hilariously bad, I loved the secret weapon cache he gets at the end.
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Feb 19, 2014 20:24
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Iron Crowned posted:But Wiis aren't HD. For a netflix appliance though, I'd definitely consider quality above power consumption - especially since any of the big three consoles will go into low power mode after being idle for long enough.
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Feb 26, 2014 16:41
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So to try and get this thread back on track and interesting, I'm going to try and post some more poo poo about movies. Force of Execution - The fattest Steven Seagal ever works for Ving Rhames. The movie begins with a mostly inexplicable scene where an assassin gets himself sent to prison (Seagal is his sensei, so he does the legwork as the fat man obviously can barely get out of a chair by himself) to kill a snitch or something, and Ving Rhames directs him to the wrong target. People get upset, the assassin gets hosed over, there's a lot of bad drama, and the most original use of creative camera angles and holding guns across the midriff to avoid showing that Steven Seagal is pregnant with twins. Danny Trejo is a loving Mexican Witch Doctor line cook who saves the day, and Stella gets his groove back just in time to kill everybody remaining. I've seen worse Seagal movies I think, but this one is worth watching just to see how he carefully poses with machine guns over his belly to obscure his beer gut, and his carefulyl constructed fight scenes which only require him to move his arms for about 3 seconds. None of the recognizable actors in this movie put in much effort - aside from Trejo, who clearly loves his job, no matter what he's doing. A Case of Honor - Stripes: the POW years. A bunch of goofy archetypes are stuck in a POW camp, and they decide to escape because it sucks, and the war is over or something so thir captors are just being assholes. They immediately go to a brothel and then try to escape through the jungle with a bevvy of hookers (who tag along, hoping to get to America.) There's a crazy guy. He's crazy, but he talks to god so they do what he says. Like repair a downed and years-old crashed airplane, with green lumber and vines. The Vietnamese prison warden is really stressing because the Russians are coming, and they want to stop the American GIs from escaping because <reasons>. There are some jungle pygmies who show up, they sure do like hookers. Everybody flies off into the sunset - thanks Jesus! This movie was kind of dumbfoundingly stupid, yet remained fun. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 19:44 on Feb 27, 2014 |
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Feb 27, 2014 19:42
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^^^ Dude you're gonna LOVE Europa Report! Okay, so I've never heard of Bad Milo! before however, it's got Stormare, Warburton, and the guy from Everybody oves Raymond or something. Then, the baby from Dinosaurs shows up, Oedipal issues ensue, and everybody starts sharting out monsters. This movie was amazing and a good commentary on society - except that I never realized that Indian dudes steal everybody's cougar mom. edit: This movie is really amazingly funny and insightful, and it has an amazing cast. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 05:20 on Mar 7, 2014 |
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Mar 7, 2014 05:15
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Watched Frogs last night, a 1972 environmental-themed creature feature, starring Sam Elliot with no mustache! Other than the lack of mustache and ten gallon hat, he hasn't aged a day! The story itself is so thin as to be almost invisible however, there's a rich old dude, his insufferable rich family, and Sam Elliot likes to canoe around taking photos. There are a lot of menacing close-ups of bullfrogs (although nobody was killed by frogs at any point in the movie?!) and some of the most inexplicable movie behaviors I've seen in a long time. Bonus points for this movie being from before characters were killed off in order of whomever indulges their vices first (instead, they just kill all the black people  . This movie was really fun to watch, despite being terrible on most levels. That said, it was a masterpiece compared toMutant Species, a military creature feature involving a troupe of special forces archetypes on a mission to retrieve a biological weapon. Of course things go bad, and one guy gets turned into one of the dumber-looking monster suits I've seen in quite a while. Then the last survivor runs into some squatters in a shack in the woods (a woman and her blind little brother,) and then evil black suited soldiers show up to decontaminate the area. Suddenly, the writer wakes up a couple days after his coke-and-gin-fueled screenwriting binge and totally forgets that he'd written in the little kid to be blind, so the kid sudenly quits doing his best Stevie Wonder impression and then for the rest of the movie he is leading people through the woods, up into tree houses, kicking bad guys in the nuts, hitting people in the head with thrown rocks, and finally giving General Wilfred "Silk Hawaiian Shirt" Brimley a thousand-yard-stare as they drive off into the ending credits. This movie was really bad, but charming in the way of a liger - so ugly it's cute, yet still inbred and retarded. wormil posted:I remember watching an episode of Red Dwarf and not getting why the show is popular because it seemed awful. Maybe I didn't give it a fair chance. What is appealing about it? coyo7e has a new favorite as of 22:38 on Mar 17, 2014 |
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Mar 17, 2014 22:35
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fork bomb posted:Anyone like stand up?
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Mar 21, 2014 15:55
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Watched Mud yesterday, it was a really good movie in my opinion, sort of along the lines of Stand By Me. It's essentially Huck Finn rewritten with McConaghey as Jim but the entire film is done in an almost surreal, understated fashion as the two boys stumble through puberty and right and wrong in this impoverished town where almost all the adults are sad failures of people who're just barely scraping by.
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Apr 7, 2014 15:56
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Vagon posted:Has anyone watched some of the series Supernatural? Apparently it gets good a few seasons in but i'm struggling with the first. A friend of mine desperately wants me in on it, however. Their car is really cool though, I read an interview with someone who laid out the process of choosing their big black Impala rather than some hot poo poo sports car that they could have used as advertising revenue or something.
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Apr 7, 2014 20:36
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Just to break up the stand-up chat going on for a while there, Iron SKy: director's cut is up. If you haven't watched Iron Sky do yourself a favor and grab some friends and make them watch it with you. It's amazing. And funny as gently caress.
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Apr 23, 2014 15:12
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Malloreon posted:For a couple years I was super psyched for iron sky, until the first trailer came out and made it clear it was a comedy. Iron Sky is an excellent movie, highly self-aware.
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Apr 23, 2014 20:35
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...of SCIENCE! posted:Half the jokes are ______ Movie-level
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Apr 24, 2014 01:53
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^^^^ Pretty sure it is, sounds way familiar. Was Hitler a head in a jar with terrible emoting?The Vosgian Beast posted:Well usually people mean movies made by two men named Seltzer and Friedberg which consist heavily of simply referencing other movies and pretending that constitutes a joke. You may know them from Date Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, and probably other stuff I'm forgetting. They often confuse the work of these two gentlemen with the (blank) Movie franchise as a whole. In fact, Scary, Not Another Teen, and Superhero movies were not their projects, and while being of variable quality, do make non-reference jokes. I personally agree that referential comedy is crap intended to make idiots feel smug that they can tie the high points of their wasted media upbringing together. But I also consider Family Guy and ton of other stuff to be in the same boat as Meet the Spartans, just that some are smugger about it. They sure aren't parody. coyo7e has a new favorite as of 14:34 on Apr 24, 2014 |
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Apr 24, 2014 14:29
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