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BullProofMonk posted:Hey Mr. IT guy, I need you to make a change to the production environment. You couldn't take a dump without scheduling it three weeks in advance and preparing a client business impact statement on the business units which would be affected by either your ten minute absence from your desk or your presence in the washroom. You would also need to attach a decision log explaining why you chose to use the more expensive two-ply tissue. Finally, you would have to wait three more weeks after the dump has been taken to enter that time into the billing system, because the original SOW with the client didn't cover bathroom breaks and so there was no appropriate billing code. Your client account rep now must get an amended SOW from the customer and file it with the revenue recognition department to get a billing code; meanwhile some other department is breathing down your back as to why you have time "parked" with no billing code.
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Apr 21, 2010 15:51
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I haven't heard "soup to nuts" in 20 years up until reading this threqd. Even that was in the context of a hardware store ad jingle saying they had everything "from scoop to nuts" (get it? clever). I pity those who have to hear this antiquated figure of speech daily.
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Apr 21, 2010 20:30
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Earwicker posted:never ever trust someone who prints out all their emails and stores the hardcopies. 
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Oct 19, 2012 02:08
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mobby_6kl posted:
Seat Safety Switch posted:I really hate corporate mandated signatures, especially when they have a huge logo and are effectively a business card pasted in there with a mishmash of HTML. I hated how the marketing department at a previous employer of mine would send around advertising messages that you would be required to copy/paste into your signature. There would be repercussions if you did not put it in your signature, but they'd never follow up about removing it later. So a third of the company would have crap in their signatures pushing a customer conference that had come and gone several months prior.
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Oct 23, 2012 06:11
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Hey, I read "The Goal" in business school, that should be all I need to know to totally turn this place into a JIT powerhouse.
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Oct 26, 2012 02:01
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NomNomNom posted:I've caught up on this thread. Read all of it. All at work. I used to work for a software company as a field consultant. I was based out of my home and was to go out to client sites every week. For the first eight months I worked there, I was busy as hell and accumulated around 350,000 air miles in a grueling travel schedule. My contract on that project ended, and the remaining ten months were spent "on the bench." I drew a full salary to sit at home and do nothing while waiting for the next assignment to come (it didn't). I would play Xbox games, do work around the house I had been putting off, go ride my bike around the neighborhood. I watched four seasons of Lost. My boss was 600 miles and a time zone away. I would go for a week or two on end without hearing from her, and sometimes the only thing she'd say is "just FYI, don't have anything in the pipeline for you." Despite my pathetic utilization percentage, there were actually people in the company somehow putting up even worse numbers than I did, as I successfully dodged two rounds of layoffs. The second layoff I didn't even hear anything about for two days afterward, because my boss was one of the people who got canned and nobody got around to telling the people who worked for her. It was fun for a while, but I used the last month or so to go look and interview for a new job. kitten smoothie fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Oct 30, 2012 |
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Oct 30, 2012 02:47
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fivre posted:IBM? Nope. I was at a big ERP software vendor and that's as specific as I'll get  Keetron posted:In the past, when a permanent employee for a consulting firm, I had a similar situation. After a long while I got a new assignment and nobody mentioned the 6 months of no productivity. In retrospect, you can go on training, get some certification and whatnot but in reality I just sat on my rear end doing nothing. Drove my gf up the wall as well. I was trying to get flown out for some decent training seminars and my boss kept torpedoing it, saying they were pretty sure they'd have me staffed by whenever the seminar would actually happen. I don't know if they legitimately believed that or they were just trying to avoid spending the money. I quit the job about three and a half years ago and went back into biotech, which is what I had been doing before that job. I decided I'd rather work on curing cancer than going through union contracts and implementing the rules in some payroll software.
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Oct 31, 2012 00:00
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Team lead: "Why aren't you doing 56?"
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Nov 9, 2012 03:27
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a shameful boehner posted:Quarterly meeting update: scheduled to start at 1:00 PM PST, now 2:37 PST, meeting has not started. Employees wandering aimlessly around office, bathrooms, supply closets, etc. Hey, at least everyone had brought good walking/hiking shoes to help with that wandering.
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Apr 8, 2015 17:19
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Star Man posted:That's my favorite part about what led Rob Rhinehart to create Soylent. The tech startup that he was running was going down in flames and they spent the last of their cash on developing Soylent because he thought that one of the reasons that the business was failing was because he was spending too much time acquiring, preparing, and eating food. Says the founder of the "poster child" startup here in town: quote:“When you go to lunch at 12, that’s a massive distraction,” says Lozano. He'd probably be down with forcing employees to eat a Soylent regimen if it kept them from making GBS threads, because that's also a massive distraction, and locking the washrooms just gets messy.
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Oct 30, 2017 19:44
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CitizenKain posted:They are a startup man! Producing high value things like uhh...ads? With how they talk about the importance of their work and the long hours, you'd think they're curing cancer. But their product is those fake news ad units you see all over, like "Citizens in <your city> learn this weird trick to not dying in fires" and "Residents of <your state> can get 38% mortgages." Incidentally, I used to work in cancer research. We all went home at 5 or 6 every day.
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Oct 31, 2017 02:39
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I used to work for a place that gave great insurance, and was super transparent about it. Full family coverage with pretty much no deductible for $50/week. When I was at a doctor's appointment once, the doctor said he had a med in mind but he wanted me to grab my phone and look up the pharmacy coverage rules for it to decide for sure, because it can be really expensive. It said $10/month, to which he literally said "holy poo poo," because most plans charged $100 or more for it. When open enrollment time came around, they sent out a company wide email that said "everything is the same as last year, premiums and coverage." They went on in that email to say the insurance carrier wanted to add a $300 pharmacy deductible and a $500 general deductible in order for the premiums and coverage to otherwise be the same as the year prior. They said "that won't fly," and paid in over five million dollars to buy those back down to zero for us. Everything else about that job was poo poo and it put me into depressive burnout. But at least the antidepressants were only $10/month.
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Nov 10, 2017 17:31
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Palantir is pretty much about exactly what you'd expect from a Peter Thiel outfit. If he could just buy Palo Alto lock stock and barrel and turn it into his own private soverign libertopia he would.
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Nov 13, 2017 16:18
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Yeah that's essentially what's happening. Normally smaller startups are only in Palo Alto in their early stages, and move on to bigger office space elsewhere when they outgrow it. Palantir is refusing to leave and is renting up all the available office space as fast as they can get it. Which is loving stupid and way less convenient then just renting/building their own complex like everybody else, and has the wonderful side effect of ruining Palo Alto for other businesses and driving up rent/housing prices. From 2013-2016 I worked remotely for two different companies with offices in downtown Palo Alto. Every few months I'd fly in to spend a week or so in-person. Every time I went out there, I'd see more and more of the area by the Caltrain station taken over by Palantir. Even Facebook got the hell out of there when they got big enough. Omne posted:Purely hypothetical here.... The wrinkle on this, as I understand it, is where it comes to "unwinding" money that was withheld from that check and remitted to the IRS on your behalf. You can get that back when you file your taxes and it shows as an overpayment. I know this because I fought with an employer of mine who inadvertently, for one paycheck, had my work location as being in California, withheld CA state taxes, and paid it to CA. They would/could not roll it back. Come tax time I got a corrected W-2 for CA that showed $0 in applicable income, and I had to file a tax return in CA to get that money back. From a practical matter though, I would still be pissed, and I would tell them they can have their net amount back and they can like it.
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Nov 15, 2017 02:26
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Zauper posted:My company briefly withheld in both VA and DC -- something that isn't necessary because of reciprocity. Eventually -- and it was a pain in the rear end -- they amended and paid me the amount of extra taxes that they had withheld in one of the states. (Your situation sucks more because 1) they're forcing you to give CA an interest free loan, and 2) you have to pay to file usually, so you're out that money..) My boss couldn't help me with #1 -- the company's HR and payroll were completely outsourced and calling them for help felt like calling Comcast would be a step up. Getting the $0 W-2 was the only victory I really could get. But for #2 he told me to just go and submit my CA filing costs into the expense reporting system, and if it got kicked back he'd make noise to get it dealt with. It didn't get kicked back.
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Nov 16, 2017 04:55
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Keetron posted:It also leads to over estimation so that a task can always be finished in a day to prevent browbeating by the scrum master. Yep. Boss at a past job said something to this effect to the team: quote:As you know we're now reorg'ed under <VP of blah>, and they're really looking closely at our throughput. They're measuring this by number of tickets closed in jira. My current job sent everyone to certified scrum master training, primarily so we can call people on it when we see them doing fake agile.
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Nov 21, 2017 04:04
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Volmarias posted:This is good, but better is firing employees who consistently click the spam email every time even after training. My last job was at a bank, and they did the fake phishing mails. It wasn't exactly stated as such, but the policy heavily implied that clicking too many times would have an adverse effect on your continued employment with the company. In addition to that, if you clicked more than like three of them in a 90 day period, they'd put your network account in a penalty box. You could only visit approved websites, and if someone outside the company emailed you, any attachments would be stripped off before they got to you. I imagine if the policy violation didn't get you fired, the restrictions would probably make your job difficult enough to do that they could fire you for poor performance.
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Dec 1, 2017 06:56
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C-Euro posted:At my former employer you were required to complete a certain number of hours of continuing education every quarter/year. That sounds like a pain on-paper but they were pretty loose with their definition of "continuing education", and there were a number of ways you could game the system. They also provided a lot of on-site training and seminars and such that you could attend for those credits. My current company requires that everyone in the technology organization 40 hours a year of some sort of training. They were loose about the type of training, such that if you could make a reasonable case in a couple sentences how it'd help your job, then it's considered relevant training and they'd count it + reimburse you. They also paid up to $8,000 a year toward the costs.
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Dec 10, 2017 07:54
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The best part of working from home is that I never have to get into a twenty minute debate with coworkers over where to go eat for lunch.
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Dec 23, 2017 17:50
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Higgy posted:Why just flash cook the fish when you can slowly heat it up over an entire lunch hour and just saturate the entire building with fish smell? Why stop at an hour? We had a guy who kept a slow cooker in the breakroom and put his fish on at 9am
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Dec 23, 2017 21:14
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