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Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

This is what it all boils down to

In other news, I have been voluntold that, as part of their orientation, I am to give our fresh-faced young babby associates a presentation on how to keep time properly. I literally get yelled at every single month about my failure to properly enter time, which of course means I am qualified to do this.

Seriouspost: dont you lose time left and right delaying entering time? i do mine daily, am on pace to bill just over 2000 this year, and do NOT work 50 hours per week like you do (although occasionally i do work weeks of unending pain/rage). do you think changing your habits in this regard could make your life at least a little less miserable

if u want to talk please let me know btw, worried about you man

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Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

We still have both, but we recently took a vote of all firm timekeepers who had used Lexis in the past year (there were only about 20, and I was apparently one of them) if we wanted to keep Lexis. We unanimously voted no. So far nothing has come of that, but yes, Lexis is the absolute worst.

gently caress YOU *screamed so loud droplets of blood spurt from tattered throat walls and exit mouth*

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

I handle mostly labor and employment work, and I do independent contractor agreements all the time. I'd be happy to help, assuming no preexisting conflicts.

And good news -- no need to worry about your cash shortfall. We accept credit cards. My billing rate is $275 an hour, and firm policy requires at least a ten hour retainer.

wait dawg you do l&e

dawg plz get lunch w me

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

I'm so glad WJ has a new topic to backdoor brag about

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon
3) He tries to put an 11 year old on the stand to testify in her own custody case, then when the judge refuses, demands to read into the record what he thinks her testimony might be.

Isn't this just an offer of proof? I mean it's insane given that 1) that evidentiary ruling is obviously correct and 2) that ain't getting appealed but still

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Mr. Nice! posted:

You know, even if you're right, you don't always have to be right.


I received some divine wisdom 8 years ago when I started bringing up silly things like facts and numbers while arguing with someone. He stopped me and said "man, never argue with an idiot. I'm just going to say something stupid that pisses you off and then I win." Taking that to heart has helped me a lot in life to smile and nod and just move on.

But, I mean, if you do have to be right, carry on.

V.I.Post, especially for lawyers

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon
HE'S ON FIRE

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon
MY FIRM HAS A 1800 HOUR REQUIREMENT BUT I BILLED 2100 LAST YEAR BUT I GOT AN ENORMOUS BONUS BUT I CAN NO LONGER ACHIEVE AN ERECTION BUT I AM NEVER NOT AT WORK SO THAT DOESNT MATTER DOES THAT HELP YOU WITH YOUR DECISION "NM" THE FORUMS POSTEr

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

huehue


huehuehuehuehuehue


huehuehueuhuehuehuehuehueHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

can i realtalk tho? this is the best i could ever do

i was born to work. i'm sure my shitass shrieking william burroughs kid will do the living for me

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

olylifter posted:

My buddy works at a prison as a CO. He made 114k last year.

However he also faces the daily threat of having poo poo, blood, piss, and other unidentified fluids thrown on him while doing his job.

What I'm saying is that he doesn't get paid enough because gently caress that.

Uh what state does this insanity occur in

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

olylifter posted:

He works in Ontario but that's a common thing: its called gassing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gassing_%28prison_slang%29

I was remarking about the money. Not the poopspash

But now I see that Canada and pretend money

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon
We have kids appear all the time during labor arbitrations. Why?

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

ActusRhesus posted:

Shhhhh! That's valid advice that will start him on the road to success.

Speaking of which...this term you just heard..."Gunner"

it is the highest praise a 1L can get. Make sure it's being applied to you as early as possible. (Or it's regional variant "springbutt")

will u post boob pix already GOSH

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

Clients hate their former lawyer

OUT THE FIRM

Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Soothing Vapors posted:

proof i used to be nice

suck a butt, losers

*Feces Starship, now but a cruel deformed husk of himself, stirs slightly in a darkened corner visible through your peripheral vision*

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Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

ActusRhesus posted:

Generally when I have OC state poo poo that is objectively false I just file an obnoxiously polite motion to strike. Get your point made without looking like a douche.

This is like a microcosm of my entire philosophy of practice

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