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Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


morestuff posted:

They work in professional sports, so they're completely oblivious to politics and major public figures?

Why would I, a multi-millionaire, care about politics? How could petty things like taxes, financial controls, and regulation of investments affect me!

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Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


*I* want to watch football. ME. I don't care what you owners or players think because they're greedy!


That's what I read there.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


So dominant that their hockey has won once in like forty years!

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


No Safe Word posted:

No one can convince me that Randall Cunningham wasn't the greatest quarterback of all time, I know what I saw.

Cunningham was QB Eagles and, well, I know what I saw too.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


What sort of competitive advantage could a long distance cell phone still image give a professional football team?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


leokitty posted:

When I was flying back from Pittsburgh they had a statue of Franco Harris next to a statue of George Washington in the terminal. That sums up the way the city feels about the Steelers, I think.

The side of the Heinz Regional History Museum has three pictures:

1) George Washington at the Forks the Ohio
2) A steel mill
3) Franco Harris

That's all you need to know to get the full Pittsburgh experience.



Maybe put a sandwich with fries and an egg and coleslaw on it in Washington's hand.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


seiferguy posted:

Why would Nintendo care about Seattle fans

Does this guy know that Nintendo of America is in Redmond WA?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Groucho Marxist posted:

To be fair, hockey fans, SAS knows that little about all sports.

I guess if McNabb didn't know you could have a tie in the sport that was literally his job, I guess anything is possible.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Peanut President posted:

(That's because there are no rich old black people :ssh:)

According to what I've heard on the internet, they undergo a transformation and turn into old white people.

It happened to Michael Jackson.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


FuzzySkinner posted:

ESPN with access to the bullhorn, rights to major bowl games, and the playoff could makes me feel a little uneasy as a fan of a mid-major and major conference that is not the SEC.

I've already felt this way for years. Its already directly affected the national championship game. Remember when #1 Ohio State #2 Michigan was going to ruin football forever, but then an SEC rematch was the greatest thing in the history of ever? Big Ten had already aligned itself with Fox by then.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Ribsauce posted:

I don't watch ESPN outside of actual sports (and 30/30 sometimes) but did Leach's Washington State behavior receive anywhere near the same coverage?

Given that I have the vaguest recollections of Leach even being a WSU in the first place, I'm with "nowhere near the same coverage."

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


MourningView posted:

Please don't watch Around the Horn.

Really you should only watch the actual games themselves and nothing else.

And if you're tempted to listen to a call in sports radio show, you should probably throw yourself out a window. Oh, and if you're in Pittsburgh and its Mark Madden, try to find a way to take him with you.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Fox made the bad call of using NFL guys. I couldn't believe the commentators. Terry Bradshaw is too busy sleeping or watching NFL games to believably say "all season I've seen X from Texas."

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


NHL on the Fly is practically the only non-game sports I watch.

And that's like 80% live game anyhow!

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Ribsauce posted:

The biggest stars still only play about 1/3rd of the game.

Aside from QBs, this is almost true of football too. How many plays is Star Runningback actually on the field?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Benne posted:

If only this were actually true.

I know the radio station that tells me the traffic and weather also occasionally forces me to hear WNBA scores.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Peanut President posted:

You know that's how hitler came to power, right?

:hist101: Hitler only won 43% of the vote in 1933.

This still made him more popular than pro hockey, open wheel racing, and the WNBA combined

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


On the plus side, it may be the only thing on the internet, ever, that virtually all the comments are full of logic and reason.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


The B_36 posted:

Yeah, reading the stock market ticker off a teleprompter doesnt seem Mich different than reading the out of town scores off a teleprompter.

I'm reasonably sure any one of us could do it, after a couple of fear pukes and crying over the restroom sink for a while.

In the future, they'll be computer generated people like those singers they have in Japan.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


vikingstrike posted:

God what a bullshit rule. This isn't golf. Also, I had no idea it existed until that post. Has it been called more recently?

Golf and tennis would be greatly improved by screaming fans.

Also there would be snipers strategically scattered about to pick off anyone that yells "get in the hole" at golf.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


morestuff posted:

I can't even hate Rovell, he seems like a single-minded robot focused on the most banal goal possible.



He should get an award for least relevant fact ever posted on the internet

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Someone should confirm that you can't study to be a barber at UNC. I mean, maybe you can! Like it's one of those weird things no one knows about.

Although I do suspect the ambition of a guy that has all sorts of options and picks barber.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


They should let athletes major in being athletes.

poo poo, is that really any different than being a dance major or something

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


My concept would basically still have all the same coursework as any other B.A. The only difference is that you'd have football or whatever count for more than the 1.5 credit hours of physical education that it does now. I don't know what classes they'd be taking for "football" to get it up there to make it have enough credits. Maybe classes that help with learning how to coach or even breaking down position skills into a class.

Still gotta have your nine credits of arts or whatever too. Obvviously players wouldn't be required to major in football and I think that the hard part would be keeping coaches from forcing players into it when they really do want something else out of their education.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Also, let's be realistic: they give way more of a poo poo about the athletes (even if they're hosing them) than they ever gave about any of us. It's not like they're trying to cover up my poo poo grades or that I loved sleeping way more than going to class.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


The Goog posted:

White male sports fans, so...yes.

Its racist to suggest only white male sports fans are morons.

Kinda sexist too.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


John Steigerwald's biggest achievement was being born Paul Steigerwald's brother.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Frackie Robinson posted:

I thought a Cavalier was the same as a cavalryman, which invokes American heroes like Jeb Stuart and Kit Carson.

Royalists during the English Civil Wars.

They'd have probably worn badass plate armor into battle though.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


MourningView posted:

Golfing is fun as heck to actually do (and when I say "golfing" I of course mean "getting super drunk and driving recklessly in golf carts"). My issue is only with watching it on television, which is the worst sort of old man thing to do.

The only glimmer of pleasure in my joyless, bland existence is going to an awesome driving range that has a full menu and bar, and they bring the food and beer right to your tee. The balls have microchips in them and there's "greens" all over the range with sensors tracking your distance and accuracy. It is literally the best.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Declan MacManus posted:

My dad took me golfing this weekend because he's old and rich and that's just what we do now I guess but I had way more fun getting lovely at the driving range afterwards so I think if golf switched to some sort of home run derby format but with drives and heckling they could capture that elusive 18-49 demo

You are definitely in the target audience of this place:



I can beat people pretty badly because they go for the long drives that get more points, whereas I am reliable enough with a pitching wedge to employ a death by paper cuts strategy.

Sash! fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Apr 13, 2014

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


morestuff posted:

It's called Top Golf. They've got a few locations nationwide.

It is the best and its a shame that they're almost all in Texas. I have to move because they're tearing down my building and one of the places I'm looking at has the plus of being walking distance of the one in VA. This is also a negative because I will spend all my money at Top Golf.

MourningView posted:

goddammit, sash, is there no aspect of your life where you are not as lame as possible

Winning is winning :colbert:

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Vertical Lime posted:

Not to be outdone, SB Nation did an oral history of the XFL:

http://www.sbnation.com/longform/2014/5/7/5683742/xfl-oral-history

If someone doesn't get Beer Record Guy as a custom title, we, as a group, have failed.

Man, that's a good read. The XFL seems like something out of a dream or a half remembered fantasy.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Weebly posted:

Yes but when will the athletes be executed after the Illuminati is done with them?

How many years now has Bolt been on borrowed time?

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Hey you, guy that spreads pine bark at Lebron's house, what INSIDER KNOWLEDGE do you have????!?!

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Mark Madden is the worst because he doesn't know how to mute his mic and you hear his fat rear end wheezing to death while his guest or whatever is talking.

Also refers to himself as a supergenius, which automatically means he is not.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


ElwoodCuse posted:

This and pretty much everything else he does is a put-on and should not be taken seriously

I just hate him so much. I'll be driving back into Western PA and as soon as I emerge from the Allegheny Mountain Tunnel on the Turnpike, I can pick up Pittsburgh radio stations, so I flip it over to the X and BAM Mark Madden and then I run someone off the road in a fit of rage as a result.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Mornacale posted:

I kind of like Mark Madden's act but I don't like how much time he gets on air on stations where I expect to find music.

This is pretty much 100% of my beef

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


morestuff posted:

How do this many people actually listen to sports radio?

Only when I'm in Pittsburgh because like every male born between 1978 and 1984 that grew up in or near that city I had a blue and black THE X sticker on my car and that's my go-to radio station and you're sitting there like "hey I remember this Smashing Pumpkins song" and trying to forget that the X is what DVE was 20 years ago and your tastes are rapidly turning into dad rock and then pow Mark Madden's fat rear end out of nowhere like a lion bursting through the bush to shriek about hockey

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


I've always been suspicious that Barney beat Betty though

Guy has no neck. Never trust someone without a neck.

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Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


The Cleveland-Pittsburgh rivalry was actually the Republic Steel-US Steel rivalry.

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