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Speaking of the death of German culture, Udo Jürgens died two hours ago. 2014 has been such a poo poo year, it boggles the mind.
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# ¿ Dec 21, 2014 19:00 |
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# ¿ May 17, 2024 12:05 |
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... Bärgida? This is getting dumber and dumber. I mean I'm thinking and talking about it, so mission accomplished from a marketing point of view, but that name is pretty loving dumb (unlike all the others haha).
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2015 19:11 |
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Bears don't care about Islam or immigrants. I will go out on a limb here and say that bears (yes all bears) do not care about politics whatsoever.
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2015 19:57 |
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'Er soll sich in sein stinkisches "Land" verpissen.' Uhh, I believe the correct term is 'Ländle'. In lighter news: hoooly poo poo quote:Alkohol und Drogen waren bei Zwischenfällen im Landkreis Ostprignitz-Ruppin im Spiel, in deren Mittelpunkt vier junge Männer aus Dänemark stehen. Das meldete die Brandenburger Polizei am Mittwoch auf ihrer Internetseite unter der Überschrift "Dänen – Außer Rand und Band". Am Dienstag war die Polizei kurz vor 20 Uhr wegen einer Randale zu einem Supermarkt nach Kyritz gerufen worden. Ein Mann hatte sich laut Polizei dabei sogar im Verkaufsraum erleichtert und anschließend aus einem Regal verpackte Bettwäsche genommen, um sich zu reinigen. Danach warf er weitere Waren aus den Regalen. Als die Beamten eintrafen, fuhr gerade ein Auto mit dänischem Kennzeichen davon – allerdings hatten die beiden Insassen offensichtlich zwei Freunde vergessen, die noch vor dem Supermarkt standen; beide waren angetrunken. Is northern Schleswig-Holstein like this all of the time?
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# ¿ Jan 15, 2015 10:57 |
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botany posted:I have to admit for once I actually did laugh out loud once I got to the "Heil Hitler, and have a nice day" line. Same here, the comedic timing is perfect. One of the best things Titanic's done in a while.
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2015 20:31 |
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I'm not gonna lie, I'm actually somewhat happy that plucky little FDP stayed in. Their brand of political satire is really unique, and I kind of miss them in the federal cabaret. Also, holy poo poo at ~54% turnout.
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# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 18:47 |
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This will be really hard to beat in the running for news story of the year:quote:Unbekannte stehlen im Neubau der BND-Zentrale Wasserhähne für 100 Euro - und richten damit Wasserschäden in Millionenhöhe an. [...] Unbemerkt vom Wachschutz schraubten der oder die Täter mehrere Wasserhähne in den oberen Etagen des Gebäudes in der Chausseestraße in Mitte ab. In der Folge sickerten große Mengen Wasser in die darunter liegenden Etagen und richteten erhebliche Schäden an. It's the best. Godspeed, noble tap thieves (I hope saying this doesn't get me The Visit).
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# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 19:20 |
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Honj Steak posted:I like Böhmermann as a tv moderator, but he's even better on radio imo. Yeah, there's nothing better than zoning out to Sanft & Sorgfältig.
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 22:13 |
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You could say his rear end is grass, now. R.I.P.
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# ¿ Apr 13, 2015 11:38 |
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Because you were thinking of Mann Butts. Happens to the best of us
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# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 00:00 |
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True story, the one cop I used to know for a long time would, in the run-up to every election, threaten to vote for the NPD. "This time I'm really going to do it, someone needs to wake up the guys up there." I don't know if he ever followed through, though. Anyway, nowadays I know two cops because that guy's son became a cop too. He doesn't threaten to vote NPD, but he DOES say things like "In die Gegend würde ich nicht gehen, da gibt es sehr viele Südländer" and "Wir wissen ja alle, wie unsere türkischen Freunde so drauf sind". When you tried to argue with either of them it was always "you don't know what it's like out there, man". That phone leak is literally the least surprising thing in the world. Also, Moderatoren, please rename me „Fein fein deutscher vater deutsches kind 88", thanks in advance
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# ¿ May 19, 2015 19:39 |
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*in an extremely Riso voice* "Bis zu 1000 Missbrauchsopfer bei den Grünen in den 80er und 90er Jahren" http://www.tagesspiegel.de/berlin/p...n/11798992.html quote:Nach Informationen des Tagesspiegels beleuchtet die Untersuchung ein Missbrauchs-Netzwerk innerhalb der damaligen Alternativen Liste. Mindestens drei Täter, mehrfach verurteilt wegen Missbrauchs, waren damals im Berliner Verband aktiv. Sie gründeten eine eigene Arbeitsgemeinschaft „Jung & Alt“ innerhalb der Partei und richteten in Kreuzberg einen Freizeitladen namens „Falckenstein“-Keller ein. Dort missbrauchten sie nach Zeugenaussagen zahlreiche Jungen, die sie vorher in Grundschulen angeworben hatten. Good work, great job. Can't let the Catholic church have the monopoly on flippant pedophilia jokes.
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# ¿ May 20, 2015 08:35 |
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Riso posted:Do tell me, who do I sound like in your mind? I meant more that I was muscling in on your turf thematically. I don't really have a specific voice in mind for you, but if you were to press me on the issue I would go with the voice I use for all internet Austrians: Falco. Also, I should have gone with the GaussianCopula voice, holy poo poo
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# ¿ May 20, 2015 17:32 |
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Randler posted:Frechheit. Da wird man einmal ins Kätzchenkittchen geschickt und schon klaut einem jemand das "Die Grünen sind Pädophile"-Gimmick. Mea culpa Updating deutschgoons.xls as we speak
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# ¿ May 20, 2015 19:03 |
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System Metternich posted:http://www.zeit.de/2015/20/gleichberechtigung-politik-aussehen-schoenheit You're not dreaming. It's stunningly incoherent to the point that I want to believe that someone somewhere made a bet that they could get this published.
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# ¿ May 30, 2015 23:47 |
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Randler posted:Which Hamm? Today I learned that there is way, WAY more than one Hamm in this country. And I thought one was already too much
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# ¿ Jul 6, 2015 21:09 |
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One of my favorite things to to when I am forced to interact with Bavarians (Franconians included) is ask them their opinion of that whole area, Kronach, Coburg, Hof etc., and watch them recoil in horror. The last time it was a guy from Nürnberg and he made the entirety of Oberfranken sound like the darkest depths of the Congo, except more expensive to Germans.
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# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 16:26 |
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bronin posted:Please explain to someone from southern Bavaria what's going on up there It's basically an area that used to be 100% industry (meaning that it was ugly to begin with), which then spent 45 years in the shadow of the iron curtain, and now it's 50% industry and 50% falling-apart shithole. Here's an image from Wikipedia to illustrate: The area is also called 'Bayrisch Sibirien', incidentally. People claim it's because of the weather.
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# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 19:35 |
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http://www.der-postillon.com/2015/08/alles-wieder-gut-osterreich-versenkt.html Alles wieder gut: Österreich versenkt Lastwagen mit 71 toten Flüchtlingen im Mittelmeer holy sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit
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# ¿ Aug 28, 2015 12:43 |
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Boner Slam posted:Dude, in Südbayern the Haupschüler take their shoes off before entering the classroom and they do Graffiti with CHALK. I am not even kidding. Reminds me of the time I was going down the stairs to a Netto in Munich, and this professional drinker hits me up for a Euro, and I look at him, and he's drinking beer from a wheat beer glass. Hate to play the "you're not poor if..." card but you're not poor if you own a wheat beer glass.
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# ¿ Sep 5, 2015 10:15 |
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# ¿ Sep 12, 2015 09:51 |
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You guys, I found the text equivalent of a .gif that slowly morphs into goatse:quote:Deutschland wurde unter Gerhard Schröder erwachsen edited to add: lmfao quote:Natürlich gab es massive Kritik an der Agenda 2010. Doch hatten nicht gerade die Grünen zwischen 1998 und 2002 nach Kosovo und Afghanistan bewiesen, dass man selbst den Verlust der Hälfte der eigenen Wählerschaft durch Beharrlichkeit und Überzeugen zurückgewinnen kann? Smirr fucked around with this message at 11:04 on Sep 22, 2015 |
# ¿ Sep 22, 2015 11:02 |
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So you can't visit bild.de with an adblocker anymore (well technically you can if you pay them money to upgrade to 'BILDsmart' (lol)). That's interesting enough, but check out this rad reader comment from an article in the Tagesspiegel about this: I religiously read comments sections but even I feel like I'm gonna OD on that bad boy. There's at least one person out there who has wanted to let that leftist rag BILD know what's what but was defeated by their draconian comments policy. Everything owns
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# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 20:22 |
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waitwhatno posted:Lol, I totally forgot about the Problembärproblematik Your post reminded me of a picture I took last year in the Alps: Bruno. Gone, but not forgotten
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# ¿ Nov 1, 2015 21:12 |
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http://www.tagesspiegel.de/berlin/polizei-justiz/berlin-neukoelln-reichsbuerger-und-shishabar-gaeste-attackieren-polizisten/12562534.htmlquote:Berlin-Neukölln *bangs fork and knife on table* Querfront! QUERFRONT! QUERFRONT!
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# ¿ Nov 10, 2015 12:30 |
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That last panel, hahaha. Gonna have to keep a printout of that thing on me so I can read it to any Mecklenburgers I might come across
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# ¿ Nov 13, 2015 15:23 |
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I know this is not about Germany, and I don't really have anything to discuss, but:quote:Die neue Blasonierung lautet: lol quote:Wegen der Gemeindezusammenlegung verlor das Wappen mit 1. Jänner 2015 seine offizielle Gültigkeit. Die Wiederverleihung erfolgte mit Wirkung vom 15. November 2015.
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# ¿ Nov 20, 2015 17:47 |
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Currently making this face :I at the Zschäpe statement. Although I don't know what I expected
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2015 10:52 |
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Si(e)gmar Gabriel just got re-elected as head of the SPD with 74,2% of the vote. He literally just said, and I quote, "So is Läbben in der Demokratie". Next elections are going to loving own
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# ¿ Dec 11, 2015 15:28 |
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I can't be assed to look it up but der Postillon of all Lügenpresseorgane asked a translator about the "töte dich ficken/küssen" stuff yesterday and apparently the Arabic means "ich besorg's dir richtig"/"I'm really going to give it to you"(??? I don't know how to sound like a lecherous 50 year old in English). And the German stuff's just a literal translation of the Arabic because apparently "I'm going to kiss/gently caress you in a way that you will die" is sexy talk in arabic, idk. I lied, heres the link https://twitter.com/Der_Postillon/status/685479444392337412
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# ¿ Jan 9, 2016 23:19 |
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http://www.spiegel.de/politik/deutschland/volker-beck-gibt-aemter-ab-offenbar-mit-drogen-erwischt-a-1080289.htmlquote:Vorwurf des Drogenbesitzes: Grünen-Politiker Volker Beck legt Ämter nieder lol quote:Laut "Bild" solle es sich bei der Substanz vermutlich um Crystal Meth handeln.
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# ¿ Mar 2, 2016 16:37 |
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JaucheCharly posted:Drei Worte, die in seiner Verteidigungsstrategie fallen sollten: Reenactment, Führerbunker und Pervitin.
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# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 08:34 |
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There was a thing on Spiegel Online yesterday that sort of answers the question for February 2016, at least on a per-state basis. If you take the total number of 1091894 and run it through the percentages given in the first graph, plus the differences from the quota that are also given in the first graph, you get absolute numbers of refugees in a given state. But I don't think there's a case where the differences are large enough to change anything, so you could just look at the Königssteiner Schlüssel directly. I'm not sure whether anyone's going to be able to find better information than this and the Zeit map, considering that the situation is a huge clusterfuck. Like, "not being able to find concrete information" presupposes that anyone HAS that concrete information in the first place.
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# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 16:47 |
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System Metternich posted:
our long national nightmare is finally over quote:Lieber Volker Beck, It's a shame this letter and the Hitlerdroge-headline weren't in the same issue
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# ¿ Mar 4, 2016 12:27 |
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lmfao sachsen-anhalt. l m f a o
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# ¿ Mar 13, 2016 18:04 |
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Those are some nasty-rear end results. I can't even get properly schadenfreudey about the CDU getting wrecked in RP and BaWü. Speaking of which: GC, you switched CDU and Grüne in Baden-Württemberg
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# ¿ Mar 13, 2016 18:12 |
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Wengy posted:Welcome, dear Germans, to the political reality that I, a Swiss citizen, have inhabited for many years. Prepare for unabated right-wing idiocy and (even more) existential despair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mxitw5DjwE
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# ¿ Mar 14, 2016 00:33 |
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That's terrible. I guess we had plenty of advance warning, but still. Cancer is the worst
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# ¿ Mar 18, 2016 15:00 |
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I don't know if CSU voters really care all that much about the ECB.
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# ¿ Apr 10, 2016 09:38 |
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# ¿ May 17, 2024 12:05 |
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# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 13:59 |