GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

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MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I'm from the most churchy state in America and that interview sounds like it was put through google translate a few too many times. What country was it in?

Happy Hat posted:

Then I went and bought 4 kilos of nutella, for my youngest daughter - which is around 20% of her bodyweight when I come to think of it...

Next time I will buy her body weight in nutella.

My dad does this thing where every birthday in our family he makes a specific kind of cake we ask him for. And since he likes to cook we give him a challenge. Last year my sister asked him to make a nutella cake, and he tried two different recipes but they had a really muted flavor and tasted more like a bland spice bread. I told him to either make a hazlenut flavored chocolate cake or a chocolate flavored hazelnut cake, because dumping a bunch of nutella into it just killed it for some reason. Not enough contrasting flavors? In the end he gave up and we all had one slice each before letting it go stale

# ¿ Apr 8, 2016 20:28

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# ¿ May 8, 2024 22:13

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I first started to learn how to cook to subconsciously connect with my dad who always wanted to be a chef but had to settle for being a factory worker and single father. I started the journey by watching every episode of Good Eats and writing down the recipes that looked delicious and interesting. It was about 200 recipes big and I ended up getting to recipe 70~ I think before I started branching out to other cooking personalities and cookbooks.

If he is casually racist it doesn't bother me. Living in a red state you're going to have at least one friend/co-worker/family member with stupid opinions, and you just have to cringe and ignore it and love them anyway. What bothers me is that since Good Eats ended (possibly a little bit before) he comes off a little douch-y. When he was coming up with skits and wrangling puppets he came off as really humble and if he had an ego he was tounge-in-cheek about it.

But now that he's had a podcast and been a host/judge on somebody else's show for so long he has this aire of celebrity about him that really turns me off. Like he knows he's hot-poo poo now and this somehow makes him the ultimate authority on cooking. I decided I'd had enough when he came out with the most complicated grilled cheese sandwich in the universe.

Croatoan posted:

Yeah FGR's nailed it. I'd also like to add that there's a definite line where you're learning the science behind cooking and why you do it and AB was mind blowing but once you get past that hurdle, looking back it's all over complicated and silly.
Just look at this poo poo.

When I first started getting into cooking, I was so convinced I had to do everything by the book that I refused to make his hot-wings recipe until I could make one of those. Then a few years passed without that happening and I learned it wasn't that big a deal and I could just dump them all on top of one another.

MrSlam fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Apr 13, 2016

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 17:06

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Marta Velasquez posted:

He wanted a gimmick where he didn't have any tweets to exist over 24 hours. He wanted to have the "freshest" tweets, so he deleted everything over a day old every day.

An account was created called Good Retweets (genius name) with the Alton Brown puppet as its avatar. It retweeted everything AB tweeted. AB closed his account and melted down on his blog. A month or so later (I'm guessing Food Network made him), he reactivated his account. He also wiped his blog. He also "tweeted" by writing on a Post-It and taking a picture so it couldn't be indexed.

I think he still does the Post-It thing and deletes tweets, but I don't think he brings it up anymore. I'd check but I'm phone posting.

AB: "Jeremy, can you explain this to me?"
Intern: "This is the tweet you had me post yesterday, sir."
AB: "Yesterday? Interesting, interesting. Because you tweeted this at 9AM, which was 26 hours ago!"
Intern: "But at the meeting we all agreed-"
AB: "The cut-off time is 24 hours, Jeremy! You think celebrities stay celebrities forever? We need to have the freshest tweets! Fresher than a sustainable farm raised trout flopping around on the hook!"
Intern: "I'm sorry, Mr Brown!"
AB: "These tweets need to be so cutting edge that you'll bleed from typing them!"

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 15:28

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

The Midniter posted:

Saw this article posted in GBS of all places and it really irritated me.

There's a cheap Asian smorgasbord where I live called Lucky Buffet that serves typical "Chinese" food that's usually pretty yummy and costs $10 for all you can eat. It's one of those places that has a little ceramic cat and a gold buddha and they play oriental flavored muzak over the PA system. It's staffed by Asians with one or two people who speak English manning the cash register.

Anyway, one day there was a tour bus that stopped by and I kid you not 30 or so Asian tourists (mostly old people) poured into the place and ate it dry. They couldn't serve everyone fast enough so we had to wait 15-20 minutes for the cooks to restock everything. I can't believe all those little old Asian grandmas and grandpas were so racist against the Asians at the Asian owned and operated cheapo Asian restaurant.

MrSlam fucked around with this message at 20:22 on Apr 27, 2016

# ¿ Apr 27, 2016 20:17

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

CommonShore posted:

So you don't clarify the butter?

Nuking butter technically clarifies it in a life-hacky kind of way. Just gotta scoop out the scum on top and be careful about tipping it out of the measuring cup.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 16:17

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Croatoan posted:

Make your mother sauces with this one cool trick! Chefs hate him!

The Top 5 things the CIA doesn't want you to know!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 17:20

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

CommonShore posted:

Is there/has there been any Indian food and/or curry (mega)thread? I looked up and down the first few pages a week or two ago but I didn't see anything.

Be the curry you want to see in the world

I believe in you

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 16:37

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

CommonShore posted:

Yeah I was prepared for this answer. I'm no expert but I'll start a thread once I get a bit of time.

I think it's a great idea. I pretty much only know one curry recipe and I'm interested to see more people's opinions on Indian food. I'd love for someone to talk about making spinach pakora for instance or simulating a tandoor using household items. I was tempted to try the Alton Brown "cheap" method but I didn't have enough money for a ceramic cutting buzzsaw so I think I should just use the broiler instead.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 16:47

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Croatoan posted:

One of my favorite things is reading recipes off places like cooks.com where the reviews are always "This is the best recipe, it's perfect! When I made it I substituted or changed everything! Would totally recommend this to anyone! A++!"

I had a Food Network lady get after me for suggesting changes to a few recipes in the review section. It was just a few modifications like using lemon extract or using alfredo sauce instead of tomatoes. The keyword section of every recipe has 'Modification' on it but she said we're supposed to be there to talk about the recipe not about how to change the recipe.

# ¿ May 12, 2016 15:30

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Love Stole the Day posted:

I have no idea where to post this in the GWS forum because I almost never visit this part of the forums, so here goes:

My girlfriend absolutely loves balsamic vinaigrette. So when I found one of those gif recipe things on Reddit (specifically this one) I decided to surprise her one evening.

It turned out really well and she loved it:

I've cooked it like 5 times in the past two weeks and nowadays we like cutting up the chicken and mixing it with rice. It's good.

That does look pretty tasty. I'll probably try this later. Normally I'm against those videos but like has been said, there's some good stuff out there.

It's unsurprising though that people prefer reading as little as possible and don't have time for extra frames. We need stupid fast cooking! No techniques! No food history or talking about your day! Just pour the banana pudding into the cupcake tray already!

# ¿ May 19, 2016 12:08

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

The Midniter posted:

One of my extended family's typical holiday finger foods are a jar of pimiento olives, diced, mixed with cream cheese and stuffed into celery stalks. Stuffed celery. They're tasty, but a garbage food from my garbage family.

I'm on a low sodium diet so I thought I'd fill up on celery stalks. Aside from making my tongue go numb for some reason the only way I'm enjoying them is with fat free cream cheese spread my dad bought. Calories are nothing but of course the sodium isn't great. 2tbs is 8% RDA of sodium and I've finished half the tub so I'm somewhere around 32% of my daily intake.

I'm tempted to go buy hummus or peanut butter later to see if that stacks up better.

# ¿ May 19, 2016 18:48

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

bartolimu posted:

About a teaspoon of cream cheese per pound of potatoes is one of my secrets to great mashed potatoes.

CommonShore posted:

Not so secret anymore

Drink and Fight posted:

This but 1tbsp of goat cheese.

Ancient Irish secret, huh?

# ¿ May 20, 2016 16:09

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I bought the lowest-calorie peanut butter powder I could find which is, oddly enough, chocolate flavored. Powder is weak compared to actual creamy ~~sensual orgasmic~~ peanut butter, but it makes for an okay substitute. I made up 9 tablespoons worth and that only amounted to 270~ calories, which is much lower than Jiffy and would've been 810~. I don't know if the Nutrition Facts are based around the powdered amount or the finished amount though.

# ¿ May 20, 2016 16:29

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

When you're a kid and you have a bagel for the first time you get really disappointed because it's just a weird stale donut with raisins in it.

# ¿ May 22, 2016 09:37

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Salt was also one of the earlier forms of preservation going back to at least the Egyptians. Fun Fact: British towns that end in -wich were probably built up around sources of salt.

# ¿ May 22, 2016 17:48

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I tried making shortbread tonight but it turned disastrous. The butter in the dough was starting to melt, parts of the dough were still crumbly, and when I pulled them out of the oven ten minutes early they were all melted together and almost burnt.

Is it just too hot for shortbread? Should I have frozen the dough first or something?

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 05:40

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Drink and Fight posted:

Yes you should have. What recipe?

I used this one http://allrecipes.com/recipe/242463/chef-johns-rosemary-shortbread-cookies/

I tried doing it again after chilling the dough, shaping the cookies, and then rechilling the dough. I even pulled them after 35 minutes and they still melted and were on the verge of burning. I'm thinking I could just press them into a pie plate or something.

Maybe I should've weighed the flour? Maybe the flour butter ratio was off? Maybe my oven's going senile? I don't know.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2016 06:22

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Oldsrocket_27 posted:

Try this one, it's my mother's recipe, and it's always turned out really well for me:

Preheat oven to 300 degrees

In a food processor, cream 1/2 cup chilled european style butter and 1/3 cup caster sugar/ superfine cane sugar

Then add 1/4 cup rice flour, 3/4 cup all purpose flour (Eagle Mills ultragrain all-purpose unbleached flour gave us the best texture), and if you're using unsalted butter, 1/4 tsp salt and process until just blended.

Form it into a disk and pat into an 8" cast iron skillet, and poke a handful of holes on the surface with a toothpick.

Bake fro 40-45 min, and cut into wedges immediately, then allow it to cool in the pan.

Thanks, I'll give this a try later on. Couldn't find rice flour at the generic market but the natural food store might have it. I have powdered sugar, but I hear that's cut with cornstarch? It shouldn't matter too much right? What's the worst that could happen? Everyone dies.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2016 18:24

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Well poo poo, if anyone has Publix's recipe I'd love to give it a shot.

edit: They have a lot of recipes on their website but none for fried chicken

MrSlam fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Jun 12, 2016

# ¿ Jun 12, 2016 15:23

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

When I went to Youtube my eyes glossed over a thumbnail and I thought it was a headless enemy mini-boss from a new game or something.

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# ¿ Jun 13, 2016 20:38

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

You guys are making me Hungary

I'm so sorry

# ¿ Jun 16, 2016 23:49

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I made peanut butter once for a recipe. It came out burnt and too thick for human consumption. Drying cement with a hint of burning is not a good taste or texture for peanut butter.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2016 15:31

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Esme posted:

How? Isn't it just ground peanuts? How did it get burned?

I roasted the peanuts ahead of time. They were fine when they were just peanuts but somewhere along the line roasted peanut butter turned into dark tarry peanut butter.

I think either it was too much flavor for one recipe or I wasn't diligent enough in removing all the skins which added the burned flavor.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2016 16:08

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

AnonSpore posted:

Yes but chemicals

Watch out for those toxins! Don't worry, I got electrically charged super-water that'll reverse the ionization of those toxins lickety split. And the best part is that it's all natural. But you gotta pay for the recurring 6-month supply or I can't ship it.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2016 23:04

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

therattle posted:

I enjoy peanut butter with MSG chunks.

You have discovered the secret to Thai cuisine

# ¿ Jun 23, 2016 15:34

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

The Midniter posted:

Xenoestrogens
Phytoestrogens
Pthalates
Parabens
BPA

Raise your hand if you hear these SCARY WORDS on a regular basis from your significant other

I hear those words from my boss and coworkers at least once a month in an unsolicited hour long one-sided lecture about GMOs :shepicide:

But it's better than the conversations with my other coworker who goes over detailed histories of the Knights Templars' secret American treasure hordes

# ¿ Jun 23, 2016 17:23

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Manuel Calavera posted:

The last surviving prop of Double Dare will be dubbed the Dagwood Crown

# ¿ Jun 24, 2016 15:43

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Waci posted:

-Navajo Taco with pizza sauce
-Fries
-Eviscerated Gyro
-Hush Puppies
Being a carny must be the most magical job in the world

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 20:07

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

I know there's no substitute for Saffron.

But if a peasant like me wanted to anyway, what would I use? The closest I've heard is blending turmeric and paprika together.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2016 17:14

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

SymmetryrtemmyS posted:

If you're going for color, achiote (or paprika if you don't have achiote) and a bit of turmeric will almost get you there, but there's nothing that tastes like saffron. I had assumed he wanted to make a flavor substitute but I guess some people just like the color (which is understandable).

Don't care too much about color. I was hoping for a flavor substitute. I guess if there were a flavor substitute though nobody'd go to the trouble of buying saffron.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2016 20:17

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

mindphlux posted:

foods are mostly better when they're ancient

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OepMwUZCQZc

# ¿ Jul 1, 2016 04:56

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Maybe it's the salt water in my veins or the nitrogen bubbles in my brain, but I had a thought over the weekend.

Pineapple Cider + Heaping Tablespoon of Cayenne

Y/N?

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 15:52

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Ben Nevis posted:

Throw corn in husks into a very hot oven for like 40 minutes. Then shuck, butter, and salt.

Alternatively, remove the cornsilk, rewrap in husks, soak corn in water for 10 minutes, then grill. According to this guy it steams and grills the corn at the same time

# ¿ Jul 8, 2016 18:51

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Trebuchet King posted:

i overdid it on tomato paste in a sauce, what's something relatively easy to cut that taste with?

I've had that problem before. Someone suggested I use sugar. Haven't had an opportunity to try it yet.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2016 05:42

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Discendo Vox posted:

The pizza is Processed and Unnatural. Red meat, cheese, and bread, are Unprocessed and Organic.

This is why I plant hot-dogs every year. Maybe our climate is just too hot for hot-dogs?

# ¿ Jul 10, 2016 22:09

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

bartolimu posted:

Atomic is my favorite bar in town and I'd be there a lot more often if it wasn't a 25 minute drive home.
If you have normal kidney function and are not extremely dehydrated, it's hard to get enough salt for it to be actually bad. Studies linking salt consumption to negative health results are in general poorly controlled or have such a small sample size as to be useless. That's true of almost all food "health" studies, which has led to the Amazing Miracle Food of the Decade that comes around every three days and makes a portion of the population get stupid about eating acai berries or chia seed or whatever.
If you're a normal healthy adult, eat as much salt as you want..

exquisite tea posted:

Salt is like the biggest food boogeyman out there right now for how harmless and poorly understood its negative effects are, if there even are any. I love my family but I blame their ignorance for why our dinners growing up always sucked, because they thought salt was bad for you and never added it to anything. Salt makes things taste good and is a cooking necessity for enjoying life, not an option, my friends. And you know what also typically contains large amounts of salt? Pizza, which is pretty much nature's most perfect food.

Is there no correlation then between obesity, salt, and blood pressure? I heard the low-salt low-BP connection is true if you're overweight. Then again I read that on a website that won't shut up about superfoods.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2016 15:17

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Sorry for the lovely quality, but does anyone else make lists of stuff to cook like this?

PS. I know I put down hushpuppies twice.

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# ¿ Jul 11, 2016 16:47

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Speaking of organization, our spice cabinet is so drat cluttered. We have zero counter space so we use the spot any normal person would use for plates and glasses for our spices instead and somehow we've managed to fill up all three shelves. We keep telling ourselves we're going toss out the old and useless ones, but what if we really need to use those marjoram leaves we've never managed to find a recipe for? What if we need three whole canisters of dried parsley?

What do you guys do for spice organization? Which spices do you prioritize?

poop dood posted:

I'm the Fried Cards.

Oh poop dood you curd

# ¿ Jul 12, 2016 20:37

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

exquisite tea posted:

We grow mint, basil, thyme and rosemary in a little garden outside, it makes a world of difference.

I really want to start doing this. Any idea if they can grow as indoor plants during the winter? I'd grow them all indoors all the time but the lighting in our house is pretty poo poo. Also, any tips?

# ¿ Jul 13, 2016 23:20

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# ¿ May 8, 2024 22:13

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Just made chicken biryani and holy poo poo, is it supposed to have this much salt?

# ¿ Jul 16, 2016 03:15

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