Ask me about Bartending - The Revenge - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about Bartending - The Revenge

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Mr. Woods, making the same mistakes in new iterations is how we end up in this job in the first place.

I'll get back to ice-chat after breakfast.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2012 16:41

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:27

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

A mixologist serves drinks, a bartender serves people.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2012 22:08

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

I just spent the day sailing, I injured my back last night and now I'm gonna go work a huge private party and go close the bar. Pirate life, yo.

VegMel, neighborhood cocktail bar, freelance booze smith.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2012 20:45

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

navyjack posted:

I'm 38 and the young 'uns can't keep up with ME!

Also, Blueberry Stoli and diet Sprite! Don't you judge me!!

27, still feel like a kid at this job.

My guilty pleasure? I once truly, unironically, enjoyed a vodka soda.

And big love to EO. Alcohol can cause pregnancy.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2012 22:31

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

nrr posted:

Congrats on your first safety meeting

Burn the well. It sucks, but not nearly as hard as glass in your throat and a lawsuit sucks. Everybody has burned a well during a busy service and like falling off a bike, that is how you learn.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2012 08:23

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Nice. Where I'm from, those are staff meetings. Any team member not present gets saved a copy of the memo.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2012 17:41

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Daric posted:

$310 tonight, too bad I'm leaving for New Orleans in 9 hours and I'll probably blow it all

You missed us by like, two weeks.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2012 09:29

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Tom Rakewell posted:

My experience with cocktail contests is that they're more marketing shows for "mixologists" than drink contests for "bartenders." The people who focus on those and do well (a lot of the results really come down to whose bar moves the most of X product, whose bar has been cozy with the distributor, or which "well-known" bartender's turn it is to win something) are more the types who are chasing a brand ambassador/corporate mixologist route rather than people who are focused on the industry or the craft.

Nothing wrong with that, but I rarely bothered with contests because I was too busy managing the bar I worked at. The old joke we have is that the bartenders who would probably serve up the best drinks never make it to contests because they're too busy actually bartending to keep taking time off for events.

all of this, but it's a living. Wish me luck with the baron jäger, Cointreau, and Louis Royer competitions.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2012 20:27

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Oh man.

I did a private event for a whiskey company that was providing the open bar at the book launch party for some hipster band I've never heard of. We set up the bar, three bartenders, couple cases of whiskey and mixers at each station. Of course there's too little ice, but more is on the way. 15 minutes to go time, we are all set up but forbidden to serve until 7. We pre-make a few dozen drinks so we're ready to go at the buzzer. The line forms, five deep at each station, a wall of "No, we don't have any white wine. The beer is across the room. We have cocktails." The clock strikes and it's sling six drinks as fast as you can. We stay five deep. Thirty minutes in, guy on my right with slippery hands loses a glass (because the corporate mixologist who supplied us got untempered glass to make up the boston shakers) and it shatters against the back wall of the gallery. Keep going. An hour in, the call is just "cocktails, cocktails" and I make the first mistake; I look up. The wall of people hasn't moved. I'm pretty sure the girl in front of me hasn't moved in three rounds, she's just passing drinks back. We're not taking orders for the individual cocktails any more, we're just making rounds as fast as we can. We run out of Vermouth, so no more white Manhattans. We have a safety meeting as I tell the other bartenders that it's only been an hour. Laughter turns to the sound of ice crunching. The wall ebbs and flows but the people get drunker and drunker on the two finest words in the English language, "Open Bar". Goddamn gallery receptions.

61.5 liters of whiskey, gallons of mixers, four bottles of benedictine, three of vermouth. Two goddamn flats of tallboys. Several jars of luxardo cherries. All in 2.5 hours. We run out of product half an hour before the open bar closes. One by one, as we run out, we take our bows and go head to the loading dock to count the tips and smoke a cigarette. Those people were loving animals. We were told to expect 600, which is a reasonable figure for three bartenders, for three hours. What happened was they had a cap at 600, and a line around the block. Unsurprisingly, as we split a beer on the dock, the decision was made to go and get a proper drink, somewhere quiet.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2012 15:51

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Where I come from, straight is neat, up is a coupe/martini glass, and straight up is "I've already had dinner and I want to get my buzz on". YMMV.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2012 10:10

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

A night when the past five years have been real soft, and we crushed it. Tomorrow all the neighborhood herds back from the beach and we will flow cocktails like water. As it is written, so shall it be. Happy labor say, bitches.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2012 10:00

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Coldfire posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjn0Ni6g1kM
poo poo Brand Ambassadors say

Only found this video this week but had a great cackle at it.

That is the handiwork of a friend for the spirited awards. The other vids in the ceremony were almost as genius, worth checking out.

People think cocktail bartending is all disapproving looks and vests, but we have fun (liquor).

# ¿ Sep 2, 2012 10:05

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

PT6A posted:

And Maraschino liqueur, surely?

and grapefruit juice?

Also I've slung a few batches of various fruity blender drinks for parties this year, admit it, that poo poo rules.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2012 23:23

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Labor day weekend. It wasnt two of the three.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2012 09:50

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Took big hits Sat/Sun while understaffed (read: $$$) and then spent Monday getting lit on mezcal and dope tacos before endless fernet and oysters. I love industry parties.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2012 19:13

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Also I only recently hit the point where people are trying to poach me away from my job, and it was a doozie; a client, heavy into PR/Event Production, asking me what it would take to open my own place. "Cash, Real Estate, PR, what?"

I said all that, and more. And if he's talking, I'm listening.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2012 22:11

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Tom Rakewell posted:

Aww, it's cute watching idiots try to throw money at would be cocktail bar owners. Of course, only if "owner" entails giving up all but 15%-20% of your say to whatever frat boy(s) with money wants to try to back you in exchange for party house rights.

Oh, believe me, I've seen disasters happen. I know people who had a couple investors pull out at the 5yr mark. Even when it's going well, it's hell. I do have a role model in the guys I used to work for, who are aggressively turning out the restaurants (but then, food is a lot less fashionable than booze, so you have to think). Never hurts to have a conversation or six.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2012 17:19

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

It's partially dairy, so you'll know when it turns. That said, I object to your assertion that is is "drinkable".

# ¿ Sep 7, 2012 01:23

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Halloween Jack posted:

Senor Curacao of Curacao makes a blue-coloured version of the real stuff, though I've never had it. I'm sure it's nothing like Bols and DeKuyper.

It's not disgusting, and nobody's too old for a frozen blue margarita. Once or twice this summer, I'd go down to my local "fancy cocktail bar" and ask for someone to blue me.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2012 16:48

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

If you can't hack Campari, that's fine, more for me. I see a girl order a Negroni, I get an erection, it's some pavlov poo poo.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2012 20:58

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Hoops posted:

You people that drink Campari are just biological mutations, my good god.

You put that stuff in your mouth?

I've heard people say the same about your dilz. Now get you a proper made Negroni and consider yourself learned.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2012 03:58

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

25 people walked out at midnight complaining that the dj sucked. What are the grounds for justifiable homicide, again? We went from slammed to polishing glasses on a Saturday night.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2012 07:01

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

I did a party last week where sidecars were ordered as henny margaritas. For $12, you can call it whatever you want. I blame the hip hops.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2012 07:58

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Old Man Pants posted:

Can someone explain to me where the "beergarita" came from? It looks and sounds terrible, and I cant imagine ordering one but I have seen it popping up everywhere, and I am kind of curious.

For those that dont know, a beergarita is exactly what it sounds like, a beer put neck down into a margarita.

It's actually fairly tasty, despite the fact that it makes an rear end in a top hat out of everybody who sees it.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2012 16:28

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Der Luftwaffle posted:

Coincidentally I had about 5 young nouveau-riche banker types try that last night. The best part was that we ran out of armagnac and cognac after their first round because our bar manager is useless, so these guys just asked for bourbon in snifters so that the barflies would stick around.

To which I acceded, and promptly pushed forward the glasses with a loud "Your Jack Daniels, gentlemen". Didn't even care that they tipped lovely.

Don't ever tell them about Calvados.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2012 19:38

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

I just took a lowboy door to the dome. Careful out there.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2012 05:52

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Don't buy anything; let them bathe you in swag and samples. If they push Voli vodka, they'd better do it with sexual favors and a big bag o'blow.

e: Also, I just submitted a cocktail to Garden and Gun magazine, but to be certain my flavors blended I made one about an hour after I woke up. At 230. On a Monday. And I have the USBG meeting this afternoon before I haul off to have absinthe and oysters. Might be a real short day.

bloody ghost titty fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Sep 17, 2012

# ¿ Sep 17, 2012 19:42

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

JawKnee posted:

Here's a quick question for everyone (but especially those of you who take part in hiring) - how do you react to/deal with resume's (and the individuals behind them) who have post-secondary degrees listed?

I was talking to a co-worker recently who says she always leaves her BFA off of her resume as she gets fewer call backs and worse interviews with it on there.

I've only recently graduated (and am pursuing a second degree) but I've always listed my University, faculty, and recently my completed degree on my resume - is this a bad idea?

It's not a bad idea, per se, because a lot of places are interested in retaining staff, and service jobs can be a stopgap for people while they look for work more relevant to their degree/original interests. If that's the case, definitely leave it off, because if it's entirely possible to be overqualified to sling drank.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2012 19:50

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

JawKnee posted:

Better than my Philosophy/CS

Give up/Die young.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2012 00:54

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Acc 101: not giving away the bar
Acc 105: counting the money when your BAC exceeds .5.

Choom, I hate you a little and hope you got glitter bombed. I was supposed to meet reserve at maison but got trashed on Mezcal instead.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2012 07:47

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Last couple of places I've worked, I showed up dressed like the employees, whether that's vest, or tie tucked in, basically look like you could step behind the bar and start killing it. For management, different story, but confidence is everything, and for me that's being all go-time from the get-go.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2012 17:49

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Training a new bartender so I'm working the floor; forgot how much I hate the hand motions and Disney smile. Popped across the street to have a shot at another bar, found one of my old regulars now bartends there. Nothing like a safety meeting in someone else's bar during your shift.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2012 04:46

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Choom Gangster posted:

Melange, are you going to PDX? Also, where do you work?

no run amok or PDX for me, but I trust you know and/or have been glitter bombed by my friends. Come say hello when you are bound for the east coast again. It's a small drunk after all.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2012 09:41

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Choom Gangster posted:

You still haven't said where you work. Are you in NYC? For some reason I thought that's where you were. I didn't get glitter bombed, because I'm not Jason Littrell, but I do have friends in the city. Payman from PDT is a very good friend, and Polsky and Chris from Amor and Proletariat are friends, almost everyone that now works at Maison Priemere is from Tucson, including Maxwell the bar manager. Oh, and Yael, she's all over the place.

So yeah, there is a decent chance we share friends of acquaintances.

PM me for more details since this is a public forum, but yes, we know the same folks. Had oysters and drinks from Maison's new royal menu the other night, good poo poo.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2012 19:16

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Sheep-Goats posted:

Be thankful those are your customers. The I CAINT TASTE DA LIKKER crowd is far worse to deal with and doesn't tip worth a gently caress.

being a cocktail bar, I can usually get away with saying "that's the point" to those cats, unless it's Saturday and I can't hear them over the dj, at which point welp.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2012 18:47

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Sheep-Goats posted:

I once watched a non tipping British fellow consume an apple martini that was 1/4 Apple Pucker and 3/4 sour mix out of the gun.

He had that coming.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2012 17:47

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

I worked an event for Fernet last night, and got one of the first 15 fernet challenge coins in New York. Our general response to the whole challenge concept was "it's not like we pay for our fernet rounds anyway". Yes, I swagged a bunch of bottles.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2012 20:59

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Choom Gangster posted:

Do you have a picture of the New York ones? I got my Arizona one a few months ago, with basically the same reaction. My Chartreuse coin on the other hand...

It has the Manhattan skyline on the back, black enamel on bronze. Now, what is this Chartreuse nonsense?

Oh, and I verbally agreed to be the head bartender of a new project opening in a few weeks in Alphabet City, as part of a restaurant group by a very successful restaurant a street away. Time to start building my brand.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2012 21:28

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

FISHMANPET posted:

I celebrated my family Christmas in March tyvm

My wedding is on Nov 3, and my fiancee and I want to go out and party with some friends the weekend before, but if it's going to be all Haloweened up, then, gently caress, I don't know.

I hate Haloween.

I'm guessing before, as after people will have paid rent.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2012 21:29

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 09:27

bloody ghost titty: Oct 23, 2008; tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Our theme for the party is "Playboy Mansion 1967 Zombie" and I may have to get that shift covered out of self-respect.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2012 18:56

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