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Good-Natured Filth posted:Yeah, this sucks. We have neighbors who live next door to the wife's parents (also our neighbors). They're constantly on date nights / weekend getaways. And then they act like everyone in the world has that available to them. My brother-in-law is the same way. He and his wife love going to concerts and have even crashed in our spare bedroom a few times coming into town to do stuff near us (they live about 6 hours away by car). They've got a two year old and live a few miles away from the grandparents. Pretty much unlimited free daycare and they're able to take a weekend and go see a show at the drop of a hat. They also act like we're jerks for not being able to drop everything and go hang out with them when they're in town, or join them on their little adventures. What part of "we don't live right next to grandma and grandpa" don't you get? I'm super happy for you that you two are able to drop the kid off with grandma when you need a night to yourselves, but we live six hours away from them and can't unload ours on them that easily.
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Aug 23, 2023 16:16
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nachos posted:Especially when these little motherfuckers are sharting the entire day and getting hardcore diaper rashes on top of everything else. My MiL had the best tip for this: After you wipe the baby, put some aquaphor on a q-tip and spread some on all the areas that end up covered in poop. You end up with a baby with a greasy little butt, but when they're sitting in a shart diaper it keeps the poop off their skin and prevents a rash. Worked great, kiddo improved literally overnight and never had problems with rashes after that.
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Dec 29, 2023 19:47
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remigious posted:I wonder if the younger generation will be pissed that we shared their baby photos and intimate family moments so widely and publicly. Personally I keep all social media posts friends only and I would never share those photos with the entire world. I absolutely despise “family bloggers” that have their children’s entire lives on full display. This is a huge thing with me and it has caused friction with family. We don't put any pictures of our children online, and we ask family members not to either. If they want to throw their photos out all over the internet when they're older that's their business, but it's not my choice to make for them while they're in diapers. edit: We share photos with family of course. We just tell them to not make the grandma facebook blast of their last visit so that people from their church we've never met can click like.
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Jan 11, 2024 17:53
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morothar posted:That’s just a form of PTSD. Like WWI veterans that couldn’t sleep without constant artillery shelling. Make sure to check the country of origin of your rice and look up what the environmental situation is with farming over there. Not for global warming reasons but heavy metal reasons. There is some nasty things going on with rice agriculture. From what I recall Indonesian rice is the least bad right now. You want to stay well away from Chinse or Indian. I think Brazilian was OK? Look around, I've just got Indonesian slotted in my head as the one to buy. You'll find a lot of stuff about arsenic, but it's also cadmium, chromium, cobalt, and lead that you need to be concerned with. Those are all not great if you're an adult, but they're extra bad if you have a developing nervous system.
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Jan 13, 2024 04:56
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Renegret posted:
The bolded part is basically the attraction for adults too. The WWE comparison is very, very apt. It's a ton of schlocky, over the top, dramatic theater with a bunch of rule of cool stuff where the whole point is to be as  as possible. Kind of like going to a live action cheesy action movie. Plus beer. Lots of beer, ideally cheap fried food too. Some very college football tailgate vibes. Get a buzz going, eat some fatty foods, hoot like a moron for your favorite truck, watch some pyro and some cars getting crushed. It can be a pretty good time if you just roll with it and embrace the sillyness, and try not to over-think it or get judgmental about who you assume the target audience is. Sorry to hear about going with the soon-to-be-divorcees though. Rasputin on the Ritz fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Jan 14, 2024 |
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Jan 14, 2024 15:18
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RCarr posted:I love the difference in snow between the north and south. I'm a northerner who lived in the south long enough to see snow, and this is just a question of infrastructure. If you are in place that gets a lot of snow you have a lot of snow plows and sand trucks and other equipment for dealing with it, plus the county employs people to use it. This is a worthwhile expense when you can expect to get snow for many months of the year. If you are in the south that equipment just doesn't exist because it's not worth having the trucks and the piles of sand in DOT warehouses if you only ever see more than a pre-dawn dusting once every few years, and only see a serious snow once a decade or so. And even a half inch of snow can be treacherous as can be if the roads weren't prepared, and doubly so if the weather is hovering right around 30-35 degrees so that half inch is more like a quarter inch sitting on top of ice. People also just don't know how to drive in it. I've watched people in rural Minnesota drive pretty safely on hard packed snow and I've watched people in North Carolina spin out into a ditch because they think they can take that same 35mph turn at normal speeds despite it being covered in ice and slush.
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Jan 16, 2024 15:54
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Shifty Pony posted:Just requiring applications to be made eliminates every kid with a guardian or parent who cannot or will not take the time to learn about, fill out, and submit the application. Since parental involvement decisively correlates with basically every measure of academic performance, that passive filter is all it takes for a charter school to show significantly higher academic performance. There is also a lot to unpack about who, in a specific area, is choosing to remove themselves from the general public educational system and why. Sometimes it's people seeking higher educational attainment, but sometimes it basically ends up looking like a segregated school system. That might not even be entirely due to shithead parents, it could easily be a reflection of the local socio-economic reality and the general make up of the sort of parents who, as you said, care enough to actively seek out what they think is a better educational system. All that said, and fully recognizing how problematic charters can be, do the best you can for your kid. Individual parents are going to have the best read on what the educational realities are where they are, and as much as I want to take a principled stand on charter schools my daughter's education isn't the place to do that. Your kid only gets one swing at a quality education. If the reality is that the local charter school is going to provide the best opportunities, hold your nose and do that and then get involved advocating for better schools all around if you really want to make a positive impact.
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Jan 18, 2024 17:04
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RCarr posted:Yea man, there’s nothing like making your baby laugh or smile. Best feeling in the world. I really want to agree, but honestly if I'm being brutally honest I think the feeling of your kid finally going to sleep at 3 AM and you managing to put them in the bassinet without waking them up might be better.
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Jan 18, 2024 19:51
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Democratic Pirate posted:Our New Year’s resolution is going to bed before midnight. We’re about 50/50 on it. It’s all chores instead of fun stuff though. Something that works for us is at least once a week we try to give the other one a solid six hours of undisturbed me time. gently caress off to the mall, go hang out with a friend, read a book someplace the kid can't find you, sleep, sit in a dark room and stare at the wall, whatever floats your boat. It really, really helps to decompress. It also gives some solid one on one bonding time to the other parent. We've only got one, though, so YMMV if you're trying to wrangle 3 kids and it's all hands on deck 24/7.
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Jan 18, 2024 22:50
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Bi-la kaifa posted:Hey thread! Just became a dad last Sunday, looking for ways to support my wife through breastfeeding and I guess reassurance that we're doing ok at it. Milk came in yesterday and the kid has been cluster feeding the last two days. I'm making sure wife is getting enough sleep/food/water/emotional support but she's falling into bouts of hopelessness that things will not improve, we'll be feeding every 15 minutes forever, and the boob is the only way to have her stop fussing. We went 100% breast milk, but we very quickly moved to 100% pumping. From our standpoint the big thing that we were focusing on was getting the milk in the kid, so whether it came from breast or a bottle was kind of a moot point. This was originally out of necessity because she was a few weeks premature and was having trouble latching. Even after she got older, though, we stayed 100% bottle for a couple of big reasons: 1) it let us know how much she was eating, which as important because she had to pack on weight. 2) mom wasn't having to sit and nurse all day long. I was able to pick up a lot of that slack, especially when it came to the middle of the night feedings. 3) the pump was a hell of a lot more gentle on mom's nipples. No chapping or chafing, plus our daughter is apparently part piranha and ends up chewing extra holes in the nipples. With no teeth. Real enthusiastic about chomping the hell out of that nipple to increase flow. Which really doesn't seem like it would be fun on a person. edit: oh and 4) it's cheaper. This is kiiiiiinda a wash when you factor in pumping supplies and freezer bags etc but holy cow formula can get expensive where we are. and 5) we're lucky enough that mom produces a ton so the supply is regular. We were looking around going  when that big formula shortage happened a while ago. It feels dumb to say that you won't have to worry about getting mugged buying formula off a sketchy scalper in a parking lot but lol here we are. I'm 100% on team milk if it's possible for mom and baby, but don't listen to people who try to insist it has to be actual breast feeding. There are tons of opportunities for everyone to bond with the kid. Rasputin on the Ritz fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 16:59
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ExcessBLarg! posted:With all three of ours we supplemented during the first week while mom was getting her supply up, and then exclusively breastfeed/pumped for at least six months after. Honestly I'm not really sure how you would do it otherwise, babies are obviously hungry during the first three days of life and they're--not getting fed. Our hospital offered donor milk during that period. They even sent us home with some (iirc it was $60 for 20oz or something like that - basically two or three day's worth for a newborn) although we didn't end up needing it because mom's milk came fully online right when we got home.
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Jan 20, 2024 23:00
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Guildencrantz posted:Are there any recommended limits on audiobooks the way there are for screen time? My 4.5 year old fuckin loves them now, could listen to audiobooks for hours. But of course anything that keeps her occupied kinda feels like cheating, and we definitely had some behavioral issues when she first entered this phase as she got obsessed and wanted to do nothing else. I'm wondering if there are guidelines from professionals about this; couldn't find anything online. This isn't about audiobooks exactly, but everything we've read re: screens etc. has been emphasizing that it's the passivity that isn't great. If your kid is just sitting there gorked out and watching the pictures move they're not exercising the parts of their brain that they need to be working on, which isn't great for them developmentally. This is also why the recommendations change at different ages - the kind of mental stimulation that a 3 month old needs is very different from what a 7 year old needs, and at a certain point watching TV can actually be good if it's generating some conversation or making them think about things. My two cents would be that it's probably not a big deal unless she's sinking so much time into them that she's neglecting doing other things that give her a mental workout or work on her spatial acuity etc.
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Feb 14, 2024 14:20
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Sundae posted:The other thing, though, is that all the schools near us are either Spanish bilingual alternative programs or dual-language immersion with focus on getting Spanish speakers capable in English. She speaks English only currently. Sure, it'd be kind of cool if she got an early head start on Spanish, but I'm a little nervous about her socialization outside of the core classroom element. Based on the provided demographics for the school across the street, a 30 person TK classroom would have 1-3 total English-primary kids, with rest being Spanish-primary, and a >50% being English-insufficient. I would be less worried about socialization and more worried about the quality of her education. If the teachers are working in that heavy of an ESL environment they are going to have a lot of things to focus on just trying to get their students up to an acceptable level of English fluency.
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Feb 15, 2024 03:04
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For what it's worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to curate what your kid watches a bit so that they're getting better stuff. I didn't turn into a serial killer or drop out of high school because I watched too much Ninja Turtles, but there's also a pretty clear difference between some of the really weird YT crap out there and something like Daniel Tiger. Wanting to pump the brakes a little bit on your kid drinking from the algorithm's firehose and trying to steer them towards something that at a bare minimum has a nice, positive message is just being a concerned, involved parent. Hippie Hedgehog posted:
A TV also has the benefit (and down side) of being non-portable. It can help to make TV something that is done in a specific place, rather than something that is potentially always on tap, no matter where you are.
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Feb 15, 2024 15:05
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Do they have car seats designed for airplane seats? Because I can't imagine getting our carseat into an airplane seat just based on the available space. I'm also not sure how the hookups would work to secure it.
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Feb 19, 2024 16:57
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space uncle posted:to swab your breast milk for explosives cuz your wife must have bomb titties I mean, yeah, my wife does have pretty bomb titties.
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Feb 20, 2024 16:16
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Renegret posted:Man I dunno how you parents without a village to rely on do it. Yeah, it can be really rough. I don't want to say I'm resentful of my sister-in-law who lives within 15 minutes of two sets of grandparents, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit envious. She's got a 1.5 year old and her and her husband are constantly going out to dinner, taking long weekend mini-vacations to go see a concert of go to the beach for some adult time, and generally living a pretty normal life in large part because they have two grandmothers (they're boomers: the grandfathers are loving worthless when it comes to small children) right there to drop the kids off with at a moment's notice. Heck her husband went on a week-long ski trip with some old fraternity brothers last month and it was no biggie because she just went to her mom's house with the kid and slept there while he was gone. And good for them! Like I said, I don't want to be lovely about someone having something I don't but drat. loving jealous. We, meanwhile, have a 6 month old, live no where near any relatives or friends who can babysit, and haven't so much as gone out to a restaurant since last summer. And we've got it significantly easier than a lot of people because I'm full time WFH and have a flexible enough schedule that I can do a lot of baby stuff during the day. But jesus do I ever miss eating out or just having a few hours with only adults and no kid stuff to take care of. That said the full time WFH can have disadvantages. There was a period right after Christmas where I realized I hadn't left the house - not so much as gone outside to get the newspaper - for a month because my non-WFH spouse was taking care of that stuff when they went to / came back from work.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:34
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:My wife and I made it a daily top priority goal to go outside every day. It's pretty easy to lose sight of it if you're at home with the baby. Ever since we realized I hadn't been outside for that long we've made a walk around the block a requirement.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:40
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One of our problems is that we had kids late. It's just a lot harder to click with someone in their 30s or god help you mid-20s when you're in your early 40s. Having kids late was a huge mistake in a whole bunch of respects. Do not recommend. It's what we had to do for career reasons, but it still sucks.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:53
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I have taken my pacifier out, thrown it across the floor, and now I am screaming like a banshee because I do not have a pacifier.
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Feb 26, 2024 01:26
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Cowslips Warren posted:
I'm just a person on the internet who doesn't know your friend so ignore me or call me wrong and that's fine. But, if there is a problem here, a lot of this sounds like more an issue with your friend than the kid. The part where she insists the child is a certifiable genius at 4 in particular reminds me of some people I've known who had some questionable parenting techniques because they were sure their child was basically super-human and needed special care. I wouldn't engage with it if you value the friendship. There are very few ways it works out well, and a lot of ways where she becomes resentful or thinks you're being insulting.
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Feb 27, 2024 03:28
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Cowslips Warren posted:She said her kid tested as a genius IQ when she got her autism diagnosis, and she's in the top percent of some other intelligence category (not Mensa, but wouldn't surprise me if there was a kid Mensa), and the evidence besides the test was that her kid knew all kinds of dinosaurs by their "real" name, IE Brachiosaurus instead of Long-neck. This is a whole can of worms on its own, but trying to measure intelligence in adults is already incredibly fraught. Trying to do so with someone who is, developmentally speaking, still very immature and growing by the day? You very quickly veer into what is basically pseudoscience. You can also train kids at that age to repeat stuff. My nephew knows who George Washington is at 3, but that's not because he's a genius, it's because his grandfather is a weirdo. Frankly, everyone also wants to hear that their kid is the next Einstein. Who wouldn't? So there's also entire industries built up around telling you just that. Maybe the kid is a genius and I'm just a jerk. But I get very skeptical whenever I hear someone talking about how their pre-K child has a chart-topping IQ. Cowslips Warren posted:
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Feb 27, 2024 03:44
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His Divine Shadow posted:I think we're all getting ADHD to some degree, even the adults, mainly because of phones. I certainly have lost a lot of concentration ability, don't know if I could read a book anymore... I have to disagree with this. I agree that phones are destructive to focus, but there's a huge difference between a habit or even an addiction to constant digital stimulation and something like ADHD with a clear biological component. I've gone cold turkey on digital stuff in the past and forced myself to get back into reading. It's a matter of habit and putting yourself in a position where you're not going to be constantly distracted. Things aren't as easy for my friends with ADHD if they can't get their medication. It's not as simple as locking the phone in a drawer and re-learning how to focus on one task.
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Mar 15, 2024 18:24
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bolind posted:I'll be darned, we JUST had this issue. This can also depend a lot on the border in question. When I was about 7 or 8 (mid 80s) my mother, sister, and myself were detained at the border to Mexico for close to five hours while they got in contact with my dad. Happily married parents, no last name difficulties, etc. This was in the 80s so getting him on the phone basically involved waiting for him to get home from work and answer the phone.
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Mar 23, 2024 15:11
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Renegret posted:
I'm in a similar boat re: heavy sleeping and what really, really helped us was establishing a schedule. Feeding on a set schedule helped us a lot as far as making sure kiddo got all her milk, and it also helped with our sleep since we could just set an alarm for the middle of the night feedings.
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Apr 1, 2024 18:00
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:I'm in a similar boat re: heavy sleeping and what really, really helped us was establishing a schedule. Feeding on a set schedule helped us a lot as far as making sure kiddo got all her milk, and it also helped with our sleep since we could just set an alarm for the middle of the night feedings. Oh, and if you have another adult in the picture absolutely tag team the nighttime feedings. If you're feeding every 3 hours there's a HUGE difference between waking up every three hours and getting a solid six because someone else picks up that middle feed. I can not emphasize enough just how much better my life got when I started getting six solid rather than 9 broken up into 2 hour chunks.
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Apr 1, 2024 18:37
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Olanphonia posted:It's hard to remember while you're listening to them wail, but they are just fine! They are full, they have a clean diaper, and they are warm and safe in their bed. They don't need you to come to get them, they are just used to doing it one way and the change makes them furious. I bolded the important part. We very quickly figured out our kid's hungry cry, but it wasn't until one of us accidentally pinched a little bit of her arm between a chair and a table while holding her (she was fine, just a pinch) that we understood what her scared/hurt cry was and how different it was from what she was doing when she wanted to be picked up. Once we realized that she was just cranky that she wasn't being held it became a lot easier to let her chill until she figured out self soothing.
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Apr 2, 2024 13:55
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From PYF:Liquid Chicken posted:Child care circa 1969. Is it bad if I look at that and go  My main reaction is ew public park trash cans have got to be super gross, but if I lysol it first . . . . .
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Apr 11, 2024 14:55
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Be careful how you phrase it though. A buddy has the noble goal of being absolutely frank and open about body stuff with his kids. After he got his vasectomy his 4 year old daughter was going around telling everyone she met how they had to be nice because daddy hurt his pee pee. From my perspective it was hilarious, though.
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Apr 18, 2024 21:16
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The way it was explained to me is that it isn't about strangulation, it's about positional suffocation. Our daughter was a little under a month early and it's especially a concern with preemies, so we got a pretty in-depth briefing on it. The hospital put her through a little stress test where they had her on all the various monitors and the had her sit in her car seat for an hour to make sure she was good in that position for at least that long. The nurse working with us said that it's standard for preemies but they're rolling it out to the full term kids too, because some kids just stop breathing if they're in that position for too long. I'm forgetting the details now, but it has to do with them being a little compressed in there and not having the muscle mass to really push back against the position if they're having difficulty breathing.
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Apr 19, 2024 17:35
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