Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

I believe it's the big steel bar on the right that's pointing upwards.

holocaust bloopers posted:

On a piece of aerospace ground equipment, I believe the dash 60 power cart, the tow bar is spring-loaded for whatever reason. I'm not very familiar with it but I do know it has a big red warning on it that very well might say, "Fuckface, do not put your head anywhere near here because the tow bar will never let you forget your idiocy."

Well a rather dumb MX girl failed to heed this warning. So on this fateful day someone had asked her to go wrap up the long power cable that ran to the jet. Whatever the hell happened, she caught a large steel bar to the face. The hit was so devastating that, me on the jet, looked over after she had been pulled to the shade for treatment thought the large puddle of blood was actually a fluid leak from the cart. I radio'ed down to the crew chief wondering if the cart poo poo the bed after they unplugged us and the dude was like, "Nah man that loving retard Jessica took a tow bar right to the face."

I was flying with our deployed squadron DO that day and his response was like, "We have a takeoff time to make. Call for engine start. She'll be fine." Dude was cold-blooded.

Was it a Tinker guy? Right away I thought I knew who it was, but he was the deployed DO when I was at the CAOC a year later, so not the douche I thought it was.

# ¿ May 15, 2013 13:35

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 12:45

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Anyone who has a tire cage and doesn't use one is a loving idiot.

# ¿ May 16, 2013 16:34

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKlJJqHFfoQ

Tires exploding can be crazy.

# ¿ May 17, 2013 03:36

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Ikarus posted:

AWO DISCUSSING AGE

FYI some fighters (at least F-16's) don't have tire cages for on-aircraft tire servicing

A-not an AWO
B-I work on cars, and the same problems can happen there...that's actually where I learned about them.

# ¿ May 19, 2013 17:04

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Fart Sandwiches posted:

If you have any nerds that know perl or python you can pretty easily translate that into readable text, even down to making it so it's not all caps.

Adding extra steps to make up for previous extra steps doesn't fix the problem of having pointless extra steps.

# ¿ May 22, 2013 16:11

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Tents and heaters?

# ¿ May 23, 2013 14:44

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

vulturesrow posted:

The flight line stories made me think of a time (not the only time) where I was the idiot in question. I was in the back seat of a Prowler one night coming back for a night recovery. This usually involves about 20-30 minutes in the marshal stack before you start the approach. Its fairly common that the dudes in the backseat take a little power nap before starting the approach and I almost always availed myself of the opportunity. One night taking said nap my hand slipped off my leg and into the ejection seat handle which is basically just a loop. I had one of those moments when you sort of jerk when you come awake and I felt the loving handle actually move up. You have about a 1/2 inch of travel before you actually initiate the ejection sequence. I carefully took my hand out and pushed the block back down. I'm pretty sure I almost poo poo myself and my heart felt like it was about to come out of my chest. I can't even imagine standing in front of a board trying to explain exactly how I ejected myself from a perfectly good aircraft. Didnt stop the napping though, I just tucked my hands under the lap belts to avoid that particular occurrence from happening again.

Being in the back, would you have been the only one going for the ride, or would you be bringing all your friends with you?

# ¿ May 29, 2013 16:13

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:

Oops. Every time I went on leave I wrote New Jersey but almost always traveled. Once I went from NJ, to Boston, to Chicago, to Philly, to loving Miami and then back to Bragg.

You seem surprised someone could get in trouble for falsifying official documents.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2013 00:55

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

O vs E

# ¿ Jul 7, 2013 16:23

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

The weird thing is they actually did a good job with the air-to-air comms. That was a decent picture call, although they anchored the opposite group from what they wanted, and the flight lead that decided to have the escorts BEHIND the strikers is a moron.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2013 17:35

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Swedish war plan: Get our pilots killed. :tinfoil:

# ¿ Aug 4, 2013 18:18

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

What the gently caress was the credit limit on that GTC? :stare:

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 16:34

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

gleep gloop posted:

Did government travel cards used to be really easy scam and recently changed or something? I've personally witnessed about 4 people get in trouble with GTCs. From buying a ton of booze, to paying rent, making car payments and strip clubs. All four of these people thought they wouldn't get caught.

I never saw the rules change, really. I think people just don't understand how credit cards work.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 19:50

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Local Resident posted:

I understand that there's a lot of idiots evenly spread throughout the armed forces, but what about in really dangerous or critical jobs? If you watch those documentaries about nuclear subs, aircraft carriers, in-air refueling, or other really technical stuff they always make it look like everybody involved is a complete ace at their job.

There are idiots out there. Fortunately, they're usually identified as such and everyone around them is able to compensate for their stupidity.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2013 16:37

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

MC Hawking posted:

someone who sells alcohol to servicemen

You're now one of GiP's favorites.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2013 16:29

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Holy poo poo. I just...

:stare:

# ¿ Sep 17, 2013 16:36

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

You guys remember when anne frank fanfic was funny and/or witty? Yeah, me either.

Keeps posting, though.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2013 20:02

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Major Dad

# ¿ Sep 18, 2013 22:51

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

atomicthumbs posted:

Please tell me the secret is boring so it will stop driving me nuts.

Almost certainly. The "boring poo poo:awesome" ratio is like a billion to one.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2013 17:21

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

And generally believable, which is depressing.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 23:21

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

holocaust bloopers posted:

Ya I got a taxi one night from a bar in OKC which is an AWACS town if there ever was any and the driver swore he flew on the E-3 as a radar tech which is totally believable but then he went on about how part of his job was to clamber up the struts and into the dome for maintenance during flight. So......probably not true. Fakers need to get their poo poo straight. Just lie and say you were a cop.

That's one of the stories techs tell to gently caress with people, so now I'm actually convinced that dude was actually an ART.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 06:32

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

ZappDash posted:

I would assume most people could tell you what an 11B was, but civilians in Colorado Springs could give you the duty description of a 92A3L7 well after a few Fat Tires or Coors light had been pumped into them.

Most people in Colorado Springs will tell you 11B is a bomber pilot.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2013 21:26

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Popeyes you fuckwits.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2013 22:44

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Cojawfee posted:

Do you guys love diarrhea and food poisoning? Popeyes is loving gross. Charleys is amazing. It makes me sad there's only one place not on a military base that I know of.

Yeah, let's get sandwiches that are worse than Subway and cost more.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2013 04:40

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

friend of the family DEATH TURBO posted:

oh gently caress no. charley's is fantastic and subway is terrible, like bottom tier sandwich place if you're gonna poo poo on charley's at least choose a decent sandwich place

Why? That's not really necessary.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2013 06:29

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

gleep gloop posted:

All of your opinions are bad and dumb.

Thank you for your service.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2013 17:15

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

That's what I always thought. Firehouse is awesome though. I know they're all over in the SE, we used to hit the one in Panama City quite a bit.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 16:09

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Dammit I figured duffleblog as soon as I posted that.

I was hoping duffelblog, but half the time I can't tell.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2013 19:47

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Kavak posted:

Pain by nerve induction?

An ADSC extension.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2013 02:20

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Casimir Radon posted:

Remember now, anyone who dares to criticize drug use is a raving alcoholic.

In this forum that's probably true.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2013 03:59

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

holocaust bloopers posted:

Ya my last squadron had the superintendent get away with an on-base DUI. Dunno if the cop was his buddy or what.

Dude AWACS had a guy make O-5 with three active duty DUIs.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 23:32

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Vasudus posted:

Depending on your command and the year, one and done.

This is the general trend in the Air Force...the guy I mentioned was a Weapons School grad (AF version of Top Gun) and had friends with rank.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2013 04:03

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

friend of the family DEATH TURBO posted:

let's see your bentley before you talk poo poo on dude

One of my peers paid off his house in 5 loving years doing the same thing. He was still driving a piece of poo poo 1980-gently caress K-car the whole time.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2013 17:31

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

GD_American posted:

Not in 2002 it wasn't (new, anyway). I knew it was a new model because that was the year they went from pop-ups to fixed headlights.

I mean, maybe his family was rich. Who knows. But it sure looked weird.

It's the awesome USAA new LT loan.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2013 05:33

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Cojawfee posted:

I guess I should say he came into the shop and was talking himself up as really good at video games and didn't deliver. Then when he was supposed to be a copy of my goonyness, he was way worse at it.

That's what that mess was?

# ¿ Oct 31, 2013 05:01

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

That needs to be in the OP for the stupid questions and recruiting threads.

He nailed it.

:stare:

# ¿ Nov 2, 2013 01:44

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Casimir Radon posted:

Idiot Boy got himself sentenced to 12 years today.

And he's got an even more severe trial yet to come.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 02:20

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

You should probably edit in a quote there.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 02:24

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

iyaayas01 posted:

Yeah, I'm surprised as well...I figured the Asian American Female Employment Service had a lock on that.

I just saw a FB post from a friend stationed in Japan looking for a good tailor shop. About a thousand possible responses ran through my mind in the first half-second.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2013 16:57

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 12:45

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

99 practice ASVAB, fuckers. :collaradjust:

# ¿ Dec 25, 2013 07:44

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

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