|
So many TLAs, so little time to google every single one of them.
|
#
¿
Nov 30, 2012 15:15
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:01 |
|
|
Some shitbird got rolled into* my division in basic. He was always talking poo poo about how his old division was a CNO division (they got a bunch of awards that mean jack poo poo after you graduate). Anyway, he got himself into trouble again, and our RDCs (Navyspeak for drill instructors) were yelling at him in their office. Navy basic keeps track of your fuckups on what they call a hard card (another thing that means jack poo poo after you graduate). Well, one RDC pulled out the dude's hard card, and the loving thing unrolled onto the floor like a prop from some 1930s comedy.  Speaking of hard cards, I just remembered another retard from basic. He got rolled out* of our division for some reason, and they somehow found his old hard card. That's right. He went through basic before and got poo poo-canned for being a gently caress up. I guess he tried to enlist again, probably with a fake name. Who knows? We never saw him again. *The acronym for that one is "ASMO" - Assignment Memorandum 
|
|
#
¿
Nov 30, 2012 21:22
|
|
|
GD_American posted:30 people reach for their cellphones at the same time. Photo opportunity?  The only dumb car story I have is the E-5 buying a Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 (this is when it was still a new ~$50k model) with his re-enlistment money. Eventually, he had to sell it, and he bought a Galant VR-4.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 1, 2012 06:27
|
|
|
old dog child posted:We don't have a smartest dude in the army thread so I'm posting here instead. You're going to post this book when you get it, right?
|
|
#
¿
Dec 22, 2012 05:11
|
|
|
KetTarma posted:Puggles Wait. Was he staff or student? 
|
|
#
¿
Dec 26, 2012 04:49
|
|
|
That's ok. He probably spits in the old man's soup. 
|
|
#
¿
Jan 14, 2013 20:28
|
|
|
Veins McGee posted:Deck, bulkhead, ladderwell, head, hatch, aye, overhead, port, starboard, aft, gaff, ladderwell, field day  GEDUNK, SCUTTLEBUTT, SKYLARKING!!! KEEP YOUR DICKSKINNERS OFF OF MY BRIGHTWORK, SHIPMATE!!
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2013 01:15
|
|
|
Booblord Zagats posted:"Warrior" Sky  warrior, because sailors are sea warriors. You don't want to get your warriors mixed up.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2013 02:31
|
|
|
Godholio posted:It's "Warrior Airmen" dipshits. The Navy has had Airmen longer than the Air Force.  I think.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2013 06:29
|
|
|
'sup, cubemate.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2013 08:47
|
|
|
Just use while, Jesus.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2013 08:40
|
|
|
Wasabi the J posted:MacBook
|
|
#
¿
Mar 9, 2013 05:12
|
|
|
Samu posted:CSM move to rip the guys weapon out of his hand, clear it, toss it on the ground and jack the ever living hell out of this guy. Then the OC comes in right after and gives just as bad a jacking. He spent the rest of the day just getting jacked up by various people. What the hell is a jacking? Did they make him do push ups until his arms really hurt? Did they take him behind the bike rack and beat him unmercifully with their fists? Did they jack him off? 
|
|
#
¿
Mar 22, 2013 03:05
|
|
|
KetTarma posted:I was in the pretend floating military. Does that mean he authorized a high explosive bombardment instead of an illumination flare? It's not fair, because all of our stupid acronyms are classified. 
|
|
#
¿
Mar 29, 2013 18:24
|
|
|
f@ck you, you f@cking @ssh@les
|
|
#
¿
Mar 31, 2013 18:59
|
|
|
Casimir Radon posted:Today a MSgt was trying to demonstrate to me that a radio in their truck was intermittent, but it was working fine when he was trying to show me the problem. During this he started the truck inside it's tiny little garage with the door closed. Trying to be diplomatic I questioned how well the garage is ventilated, and he told me he was only going to let it run for a minute. I was really close to storming out when he did turn it off. I don't know how long it would take to fill that garage up with carbon monoxide but I don't particularly feel like experimenting either. With a modern car, it would probably take a while to fill the garage with CO. Then again, it's probably a carburated leaded fuel engine with no emissions control equipment, so you're probably lucky to be alive. Enjoy your lung cancer, I guess. 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 2, 2013 02:01
|
|
|
This one time at boot camp some dude came out of the head with a black eye. Everyone was like "he totally fell, shipmate."
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2013 12:10
|
|
|
Not even subs are immune to spoiled food. One underway, one of our freezers stopped working. We had to toss a poo poo-ton of meat overboard. At least the sharks had a decent meal. 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 20, 2013 04:37
|
|
|
How the gently caress do you get a cleaning rod stuck in a barrel? Was he trying to use a 30-cal brush or something?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2013 05:04
|
|
|
If that monkey took a poo poo in its coveralls and plugged a hydraulic leak with it, we would be able to close this thread.
|
|
#
¿
May 4, 2013 18:05
|
|
|
dougdrums posted:Reading this thread, I don't have a whole lot of stories that match up or are particularly interesting. I guess I always have this though: One of our nukes got caught with a Grotopotamus on top of him. Luckily, the dude who caught him happened to have a Polaroid camera. Goddamn, that was a hilarious picture.
|
|
#
¿
May 7, 2013 17:29
|
|
|
Captain Amerikkka posted:Worked with an O-5 that did Electronic Warfare, had a masters in some IT-related field from a legit university, did 25 then got out and currently sells lovely financial products to people on a commission. Word was he whiffed on something like 20 interviews for government positions after he got out and the dude wasn't retarded or weird or anything. I talked to him after I ETSed because I thought he worked for a legit company but I wound up walking out of an "interview" with his regional manager. Later the O-5 called me asking if I wanted to get together and write down everyone I know so we could call them and offer them poo poo-rear end financial services. Long story short you should never bank on your military service meaning anything. "With your engineering background, you'd be perfect for selling our lovely insurance."
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2013 06:44
|
|
|
I'm not AF, so I had to google what a dash 60 was. Hopefully this image is one, since every other result was either 1960s automobile dashboards, Smith & Wesson revolvers, or loving MLP. Anyway, show me on the
|
|
#
¿
May 15, 2013 12:19
|
|
|
Yeah. I remember some a-ganger nub taking an extended vacation, but not long enough to get into any super-serious trouble.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2013 18:15
|
|
|
One of our chiefs bought a brand-new still in the crate Ducati. I think it was a 748. Anyway, he had it for a few years and decided to sell it. Some junior nub bought it, and the fucker laid it down the first time he rode it.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 9, 2013 23:11
|
|
|
Snowdens Secret posted:His roommate, a big old white guy, saw what he could do, decided he wanted a bike, buys a V-Max. Slides it off a curve into a rock, smashes it up, gets it fixed, sells it, never rides again.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 10, 2013 05:06
|
|
|
So, do the pretend gay dudes have to suck each other off? For authenticity.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 27, 2013 04:34
|
|
|
TheUnhorse posted:if you want to do expert/hardcore level of veins's game, do a shot for every 'literally' you see. let us know what getting your stomach pumped is like Don't forget Americans using whilst, amongst, or using the British spelling of words (colour).
|
|
#
¿
Jun 29, 2013 23:08
|
|
|
Snowdens Secret posted:I too did not purchase an airborne tab -a SOF Marine
|
|
#
¿
Dec 20, 2013 05:25
|
|
|
If you know anyone who had to study for the loving ASVAB, they probably belong in here.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 22, 2013 21:04
|
|
|
thehumandignity posted:Back in 2005 I took the ASVAB at the same time as some girl who came out of the office after getting her results and contract offer on the verge of tears. I bet she still managed to put the backwards flags on the wrong arms.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 23, 2013 06:43
|
|
|
I don't know how they score the test now, but when I took mine I swear the result sheet had a different score for each branch.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 25, 2013 04:29
|
|
|
Cenen posted:we should all just avoid women
|
|
#
¿
Dec 29, 2013 20:18
|
|
|
We had a couple of coners get busted for coke in the middle of a deployment (in South America, of all places  ). Both of them would have gotten out on honorable discharges if they had waited a month or two.
|
|
#
¿
Dec 31, 2013 04:32
|
|
|
too right
|
|
#
¿
Dec 31, 2013 08:11
|
|
|
well at least he got off base
|
|
#
¿
Jan 1, 2014 04:04
|
|
|
Guest2553 posted:To keep things on the idiot track...non-ironically posing with your rifle pointed at a wall wearing shades and a pink pop-collar shirt in your barrack room isn't cool. It's not cool on week 1 of basic, and it's especially not cool as an Lt. And if you do feel compelled to take one, don't put it on facebook. Because even if you decide to display judgement for the first time in your life and take it down, once it's on the internet it's out there for good so you really shouldn't be surprised when it shows up again in a very public manner.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 4, 2014 08:09
|
|
|
That's loving awesome.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 5, 2014 06:00
|
|
|
Bob A Feet posted:A guy I went to college with got drunk and beat up three disney land employees with a pvc pipe.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 7, 2014 03:39
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:01 |
|
|
Busket_in_Posket posted:Ignore that it's from "cheezburger.com," but here's a fun compilation video: Just link the youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1TJk2VneLw
|
|
#
¿
Jan 10, 2014 03:35
|
|