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Would you agree that 111 in hobbit years is probably like 65 or 70 for humans? If it's 65, that means that the Old Took, the oldest hobbit ever to live other than Bilbo or Gollum, died at the human-adjusted age of 76.
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Apr 4, 2013 07:18
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The diet of hobbits seems pretty close to that of people who live in the American deep South. I mean it's all fried foods, booze, saturated fats, and smoked leaves. Does going to the Undying Lands cure your hobbit diabetes? Does it at least slow it down?
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Apr 4, 2013 07:23
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You can put me down as someone who wishes we had book-Pelennor in the movies. I totally get why it didn't happen, but it would have made for a much more apocalyptic feeling.
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Feb 14, 2015 01:05
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Some of us are so nerdy we're still mad at all the movie changes to LOTR. The Hobbit movies haven't sunk in yet.
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May 4, 2015 09:50
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Here's the best way to show LOTR: a tv series that's almost an anthology. As in, you'd have an episode showing the progression of the main characters once every three episodes or so, but in between you'd show all the things that were happening on the fringes, in self contained hour-long stories. The destruction of the Ring happens and then there's all these explosions, but next episode is just a very subdued standalone hour about a viewpoint slave toiling in the fields of Nurn, showing his journey from capture to eventual freedom after Sauron's destruction. A series that paints a very large picture of Middle-Earth very slowly, is what I'm trying to say.
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May 14, 2015 08:44
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I recently reread Derek Robinson's book War Story, which I've read about three times in the last eight years. It's about a squadron of fighter pilots in WWI, specifically before and during The Somme. It was only this reading when I really realized that the characters euphemistically refer to their fellow pilots getting killed as "going West".
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May 26, 2015 02:29
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It's actually mentioned in The Scouring of the Shire how "Sharkey" melted down the big bronze statue in the center of Hobbiton that depicted the hobbit who first invented the mars bar in batter.
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May 29, 2015 01:42
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I hate the movie's depiction of orcs as nasty victims of radiation poisoning. Way less subtle than the book. Same for the way they show the evil men and the ring wraiths.
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Jan 6, 2016 16:14
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Shiretalk: the only reason the Shire was safe was because of centuries of protection by the Rangers. It's not that it is a backwater with no evil, its safety is an artificial creation. Also it is kind of a post-apocalyptic wasteland: it's mentioned a few times that they used to have more machines and stuff but now all that is in a special museum.
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Nov 15, 2016 14:59
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I read pages of chat about the movies and nobody mentioned my personal problem with the movies, having the Pelennor be a flat featureless grassy plain. I mean also no Imrahil, no scouring of the Shire, and ghosts fixing everything.
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Feb 1, 2017 20:54
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Ravenfood posted:But the wolds, man! I must see the wolds! I wanted more to see the oasts actually.
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Feb 2, 2017 02:44
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But were the movies trying to represent the books, or just be their own things that simply used elements taken from the books?
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Feb 2, 2017 14:11
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PMush Perfect posted:I'm curious what does and doesn't work about it for you? Aside from your hateboner for Arwen, I mean. What if he really really really enjoys the prancing of Tom Bombadil?
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Feb 4, 2017 23:26
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Telcontar has appointed someone named Smeagol to be Secretary of Juicy-Sweet Fish.
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Feb 14, 2017 04:35
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I hope you mean dunadan.
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Feb 14, 2017 14:47
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Denethor is literally that person on your Facebook who reads too much news or "news" on the internet and has gone crazy because of it. Like that's really what happened to Denethor.
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Feb 14, 2017 15:08
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Literally = figuratively because language is fluid and ever-changing.
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Feb 14, 2017 16:07
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When Dunland sends its people, they're not sending their best.
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Feb 16, 2017 20:20
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Talking thrushes are fake news.
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Feb 17, 2017 22:41
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cptn_dr posted:She used a private mirror. This is so far my favorite one including mine.
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Feb 19, 2017 14:15
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There's an Uruk-Hai in Mordor who says "I'll have your number and report you!" So they had a pretty sophisticated record keeping system. Think of all the Uruk-Hai clerks keeping lists and ledgers and writing out reports. "We are the Accounting Uruk-Hai! We are the creeping death of the actuarial tables!" Teriyaki Hairpiece fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Jul 3, 2017 |
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Jul 3, 2017 19:29
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Also the hobbits did at one time have more advanced technology but had gone backwards and viewed most machines as useless mathoms to be stuck in a museum.
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Jul 7, 2017 19:34
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Bilbo totally didn't beat the Old Took's age record, he cheated by using a magical ring. I demand at least an asterisk.
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Jul 10, 2017 00:07
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All the stuff a page or two ago about Aragorn being a canny politician ignores the way he sets things up at the end. He gives Faramir Ithilien and command of an elite group of troops but he also says that Faramir and his descendants will continue to hold the office of Steward of Gondor. That's loving stupid. It's a recipe for terrible instability in the future if you have a King who is the boss of Gondor and Arnor but then directly under him somebody who gets an inherited title to all of Gondor, a private army of elite troops, and their own little country where they can plot and scheme and build whatever they want.
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Aug 2, 2017 22:21
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You're not going to ruin the gritty fanfiction novel I write set decades after the main LOTR books where a hard-drinking private detective on the streets of Minas Tirith is asked to investigate a strange murder and he slowly finds all these mysterious ties between the murdered man and shadowy figures/organizations based in Ithilien and it turns out there's this huge conspiracy to bring Faramir's son back to the city and crown him King of Gondor.
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Aug 3, 2017 01:30
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elise the great posted:I.... would unironically read this It's a ripoff of several very good books.
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Aug 3, 2017 03:11
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Gandalf isn't a person though he's a magical spirit who exists only to manipulate people into fighting Sauron and he doesn't give a poo poo about you or your family or anything except in how they can help him get that done.
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Aug 3, 2017 18:09
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I think I've just been reading too much Sarumax.com on my palantir.
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Aug 3, 2017 21:44
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Bongo Bill posted:I deeply appreciate how this thread consists mostly of bullshitting about subversive readings. I like thinking about LOTR from the point of view of one of the thousands of Gondorian peasants living in one of those western parts of Gondor directly south of the White Mountains. "Well so I guess the Evil One arose in Mordor and came out with a huge army of monsters? Or something? And we won? I dunno, I was busy fixing the barn roof and drinking homebrew and having sex with my wife."
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Aug 4, 2017 21:14
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The main character of the books, Sam, would have willingly destroyed the ring.
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Apr 15, 2018 05:53
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Now I wish some modern day Diego Rivera would paint an epic mural, "Sam at the Crossroads".
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Apr 18, 2018 16:28
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The Thane definitely has all the real power in the Shire and is not appointed in any democratic way at all.
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Jul 2, 2018 05:27
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The Mouth discussion reminds me of something I hate about the movies: almost all the evil creatures being portrayed as complete monstars when there were plenty in the book who just looked like normal dudes.
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Aug 3, 2018 15:42
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skasion posted:As you might expect of a guy his age, Gandalf’s memory is kind of suspect on occasion. He basically completely forgot about Thrain’s map and key for what, like 100 years? And those were in his pockets! Granted he had other business to take care of and not much to go on. Except Gandalf is not a human being! He takes the form of an old human specifically to manipulate humans into doing what he wants. I wish the movies addressed this. He's not an old man who has the occupation of wizard, he's a weird almost immortal being who people call a wizard.
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Sep 25, 2018 04:59
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There's lots of places in the world where you can fight giant spiders with a big knife and a glowstick some lady gave you.
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Oct 16, 2018 06:55
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Nessus posted:Hey dol! Merry dol! Tom Bombadillo! The only time Tom Bombadil was ever seen on film or TV was in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Survivors". Tom Bombadil and Goldberry were the inspiration for Kevin and Rishon Uxbridge.
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Oct 27, 2018 04:24
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Electric Bugaloo posted:Really?!? That’s amazing. If you listen to the podcast The Greatest Generation then you know why Kevin is the best one-off character. No, I was making a joke. There are undeniable parallels, however!
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Oct 27, 2018 14:47
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cheetah7071 posted:Where do all the people populating the new Arnor even come from? The north seems close to uninhabited from what we see in the books, and I didn't see much evidence that Gondor was bursting at the seams with people eager to make a new life for themselves somewhere else Something like the magic dirt from Lorien that makes stuff grow fast, except instead of dirt it's semen. Freed slaves from Mordor's plantations. Boromir took a long time to get to Rivendell because he was fuckin his way across Middle Earth and that produced tons of kids. The call goes out across all Gondor: new settlers to Arnor guaranteed a free keg of dwarven ale and butt stuff.
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Nov 19, 2018 07:33
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sweet geek swag posted:They end up getting hobbit beer and handjobs, which all in all is a pretty good outcome to answering an ad like that. Just as long as they aren't hobbit hand jobs because nobody wants those little rat claws near them.
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Nov 19, 2018 17:11
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Only good fantasy other than Tolkien is The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King which is good for the same reasons: it was written by an author who doesn't give a poo poo about the fantasy genre, the world feels well lived-in, and it doesn't hold your hand.
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Nov 26, 2018 06:58
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