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Continuing on from the last thread. Kickstarter and Indigogo are crowdsourced funding platforms where you can pitch your fine business ideas and in the case of Indigogo, noble causes. This thread is for the terrible ones. The scams, the cons, the ridiculous and those too shameful to present to your bank manager without explaining what tentacle monsters are. So without further ado, let's pick up where we left off with this remarkable answer to mass shootings: Cockmaster posted:These people think they can put a stop to mass shootings by designing a rifle that won't fire when it's in a public place. Apparently, they also think they can get people to give them money when they haven't addressed any of the obvious complications with relying on a technological solution of that nature.
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Mar 5, 2013 01:29
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Rapdawg posted:Man, thats really sad that the creator has basically suffered a mental breakdown. Now there's a lot of people out of pocket due to Katalyka but they made a lousy investment. If you see a business venture attached to a topless photo of a gawky looking sperglord and think "this person is bound to be trustworthy and have good business acumen" then you honestly are better off without the money. Its pretty easy to guess the correlation betwen a person's proximity to fantasy worlds of their own design and the chances of them having their poo poo together but here's a chart and her location on that chart. 
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Mar 5, 2013 03:38
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Wandering Knitter posted:If only there was a way to look even more pretentious while writing at Starbucks!  You can't type like this! Or this! Or this!
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Dec 11, 2014 19:54
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You've already bought one haven't you?
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Dec 11, 2014 20:50
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Waffleman_ posted:"No, it's a common word! Just ignore the fact that we're mostly ex-S.T.A.L.K.E.R. developers and we write the name of the game as STALKER and the logo of the game says S.T.A.L.K.E.R.!" Hey, isn't this the exact same nerr-nerr-same-word-slight-difference-you-can't-catch-me bullshit that gets freeman tasered outside courtrooms? 
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Dec 12, 2014 18:14
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:I'm so glad to hear that the creator behind the project is a smug insecure idiot. I'll be cheering in a few days when the project fails. All of her previous stuff seems to be half art half design so if it fails at one, its probably the other. I don't think the creator is insecure so much as really used to being called a genius. If your product is art, its beyond scrutiny (but not above crowd-funder panhandling).
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Dec 12, 2014 19:51
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Sorry, I missed the actual quote:quote:I am the creator of the Minimal Nativity Set. According to my stats you help the campaign. People following your trash blog actually understand the concept of the piece (obviously cleverer people than you) bought sets. Use yr brain 2 seconds to get that the project is about colours and therefore races. It has a deep meaning. But probably hard to understand for you as you probably just want to eat donuts and watch poo poo tv. what have you done with your life so far? reply emilie.voirinatgmaildotcom
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Dec 12, 2014 20:52
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quote:To make the game that realistic I need to do a lot of interviews and physical tests with real soldiers, who have been in actual wars, and know what it's really like out there.
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Jan 8, 2015 16:28
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The Glumslinger posted:How did no one post this: I'm sorry, you're looking for the Awesome Kickstarters thread.  Its worth noting that you have to pledge $300 to even get one of these things. This totally could have just been an etsy project, its totally not a kickstarter, they're using the site as their store page. They've already sold to the 100 or so people on earth who want them and it'll never be something they ever have to make in bulk. I would totally pet a discodog.
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Apr 1, 2015 12:46
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quote:In time we plan to set up international warehouses to make shipping cheap for all.
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Apr 4, 2015 01:44
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Wedemeyer posted:The face of a vampire who's going to stir some corn syrup for you. This guy's strange face shape is very similar to another "internet famous" vampire who got trolled hard a few years back due to his post event psychic predictions (he'd see things that happened in the world then say he predicted them and totally made them happen). Possibly not the guy in question, but if phrenology is a dependable science (and it is) this guy has the correct skull dimension of a loving lunatic vampire. 
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Aug 16, 2015 22:12
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Collateral Damage posted:
 Not pictured: Anyone who has ever been to a an actual club other than chess club in high school.
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Aug 27, 2015 00:07
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Autechresaint posted:I am the carefully placed camera that makes sure to never show the whole device on the wrist in the shot. I've a sneaking suspicion the reason it can create dark is because the prototype is a loving huge wrist mounted obelisk that doubles as a sundial.
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Oct 12, 2015 21:45
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Noyemi K posted:Reputation hit, I imagine Exactly, the skim from $4mill is next to nothing for KS, but it would show that they wilfully let a snakeoil seller who had been called out pretty exhaustively by geeky neckbeards (the target demographic of these razors I'd assume) continue. If they were seen as a platform for letting blatant, intelligence insulting scams go unchecked the existing model of "pay this idiot and hope he learns business by the time they get to shipping" would come under massive scrutiny too. Nobody really wants to hear about kickstarter success stories, but boy does the world love a dramatic gently caress up.
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Oct 14, 2015 19:51
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quote:You like Beyoncé, right? Fierce lets you jazz around on a skateboard against hate, go go power rangers! Hey kids, you like pokemon, right? Fierce is the pokemon of saying no to haters. Memes? Fierce is that chuck norris guy, for haters. Da------d, stop marketing apps. e: also of the as of now $40 donations, I bet it was a troll who wanted a mask, just to troll this. wit has a new favorite as of 23:33 on Oct 14, 2015 |
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Oct 14, 2015 23:29
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Paul Zuvella posted:There is a difference between a scam and a bad product (Ouya) and star citizens problems came well after their kick starter campaign ended. Precisely this with the exhibits A and B you just gave. This is why I find Kickstarter loving fascinating. Its the hype and bad idea zone, but couldn't exist if it were just letting outright made-up bullshit happen. To get their cut they have to vet business ventures and decide if they're infeasible or blatantly abusing the model. A failed dipshit business that never got off the ground because you gave some deviant art guy a tonne of money but he has no idea how to conduct business is one thing. A wanker pretending to go through the motions of failure in a carefully contrived "The Producers" failure model like is another. If you think about it, would you want to mod KS? That's a loving tightrope walk.
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Oct 16, 2015 01:09
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Noyemi K posted:So is it bad because of breasts being in it, or is it actually bad because of poor writing. Was wondering this myself. Well, not caring but largely missing the "Awful Kickstarter" part of it. Seems more like a patreon job for the guy, but I guess if the model is working well for him why switch over? In other news, the horrible jerk that started this thread has a terrible OP and its 350+ pages in. If anyone wants to give a hand make a good digest of the story so far - or better yet - draft their version of the OP and send it via PM, it would be appreciated, appended and you might even get your name with thanks, in bold.
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Oct 31, 2015 02:01
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Alternate use for this material: Sex offenders must wear trousers made of it when walking through parks to give hi-vis alerts of their inappropriate erections. It'd make their dicks like one of those magic swords from lord of the rings; glows blue when kids are near.
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Nov 25, 2015 20:20
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 2016, Time for a new thread. PM me if you want to make the next one. Only qualifications are: can write an actual OP unlike me, likes kickstarter failures, isn't a shitposter.
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Jan 25, 2016 10:58
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Zaphod42 posted:Yeah okay the odds of this being a scam from the start have shot through the roof. Dude says he was under duress now, lol so this was like some kind of al qaeda hostage video for nerds. The lines were so badly spoken, I'd say they'd both have a good chance of lawyering up and putting the whole scam down as performance art on the dangers of awful kickstarters.
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May 11, 2016 21:23
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Please, PLEASE tell me this is a parody. Please.
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May 17, 2016 15:43
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After The War posted:
 This is still whitepeople.gif
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May 19, 2016 11:27
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: Hey, did you ever wonder why they're called "pants"? What if you only had, like... one pant?
We'll make millions! 
We'll call it... the
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Paul Zuvella posted:I like how people are continuing to respond to this kickstarter like its a real thing.
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May 19, 2016 14:32
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Germstore posted:You want to know what it takes to fund a kickstarter? It takes copper balls to fund a kickstarter. Go and do likewise gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you.
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May 20, 2016 22:19
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Alien Rope Burn posted:Yeah, there are plastic kids / trainer chopsticks with similar gripping notches. You don't understand man, they're made from advanced engineering material! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwdxIUeMrSM&t=152s
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May 26, 2016 17:04
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Tippis posted:I, for one, am glad to see the outdated technology of two sticks working kind of like extended fingers being replaced by the hyper-modern technology of two sticks working kind of like extended fingers with thimbles at the end. Nah, it works for pencils, that part is probably fine (so does being round). They certainly don't solve the problem of people who don't know how to use chopsticks, but they sure solved an imaginary one: people who can use chopsticks can't use chopsticks. So here are some training wheels for the bike you can already ride.
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May 26, 2016 17:55
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Great Rumbler posted:As it turns out, these guys already got beat to market by General Mills, of all things: Installing a feeding trough on a lazy bastard device for people who can still be bothered standing makes these look like a starter kit for those fatty scooters.
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May 28, 2016 13:41
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SpaceGoatFarts posted:It's the future Used to work in a supermarket, literally watched a guy drive around it eating food, opening the crisps and sandwiches and mars bar multipacks and eating out of his basket like it was his lunchbox as he sped around the store. Followed him up to the registers, he slings them the wrappers so they can swipe the now greasy plastic of empty wrappers and charge him. I did not mind parents doing that occasionally just to stop a toddler having a fit on the floor, but when you see a fat middle aged man do it, eugh.
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May 28, 2016 14:15
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lorn Wayne posted:Sure are some...interesting gifs on that page.
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May 30, 2016 21:30
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Fauxtool posted:hey you called the teenager sexy not me
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May 30, 2016 21:48
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Tiberius Thyben posted:A traveling bus that sells shoes for obnoxious atheists. "Back in 2012, Kickstarter helped us launch ATHEIST Shoes: handmade, super comfy, minimalist, retro sneakers, with the words "ICH BIN ATHEIST" on the soles." I hope that stupid woman years ago who cut a backwards B for obama in her face and said the evil blacks did it makes a comeback and hits herself in the face with these repeatedly. Its the only valid function of this device.
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May 30, 2016 22:27
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Guy Mann posted:Hen House Hustle is a wild, zany, sexy live action anime parody. Join us, and let's make Magica! Jesus loving making GBS threads christ, I'm dying here. Its like shrek and some crack whores. What the christ? Good find man, I'm in hysterics! e: I can't. stop. loving. laughing. e2: 10 minutes later tears still tripping me, I have honestly had the longest laugh at a bad kickstarter ever. I wish them well. This just made my week. wit has a new favorite as of 22:37 on Jun 4, 2016 |
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Jun 4, 2016 22:23
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I like the idea that he has tonnes of tshirts already printed out and will spend the rest of his life trying to give them to people and describing lemon glass. They're so bad, I'd rather bleed out than have one used as a tourniquet on a severed limb.
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Jun 16, 2016 22:31
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Once more, please shut the gently caress up about anime and your favourite anime and bad anime. Moving along. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1509439930/ant-plat-former Oh lets see what this is. Hmm, no mockups, no video and this is the only image...  *squints* *squints harder*  Ah, Its just something some 8 year old scribbled. *squints*   What an ugly, hairy 8 year old!
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Jun 24, 2016 16:15
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Cheez posted:If this guy can give me the ghoast slug, he has my money.
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Jun 25, 2016 03:19
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Doggles posted:It's a (Hero) Trap! I asked for a fraction of the money I really need so that I could totally pocket that. Then I didn't make the game because I didn't have the other 3/4s of it because I never asked anyone for it. But hey, if you're going to be a whiny bitch about it and feel cheated, take a number and a seat, I'll refund you....never. Hows never for you?
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Jun 27, 2016 21:42
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senrath posted:He would be about $80k richer right now if the project had failed to fund, ironically enough. I am not sure that I believe it, because of the way he dropped it in the same breath as "oh yeah the refunds for the money I took from you all that was never going to make the game happen anyway". Sounded more like he was verbally filing for bankruptcy to his backers. I can't imagine someone savvy enough to pull a trick like that would sink much of his own money into Springtime_For_Hitler.exe
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Jun 28, 2016 11:11
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Everyone posted:Anime. 
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Jun 30, 2016 16:14
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Donald is an rear end in a top hat!quote:A Kickstarter aimed at the person who tried to ruin my life--in the form of a card game. Take THAT, Donald! 
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Jul 1, 2016 13:42
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Xandu posted:The cards aren't even funny. They're just bad insults. That's my favourite thing about them. This is probably the kickstarter guy's greatest l'esprit d'escalier compilation built up over a number of years and Donald would tear each of them to shreds. Donald is baller.
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Jul 5, 2016 15:50
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