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Machai posted:Are they really crunchy and electrocute you when you try to eat them? Robert Heinlein made them, so probably. And I hear they taste unexpectedly sour at the end. Arthur C. Clarke, the third member of the big three amigos, got into chalupa. Not chalupas. It's just one single, delicious, massive chalupa.
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Aug 30, 2013 01:56
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Count Chocula posted:Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News has put up a 2nd Kickstarter: The funniest part of such criticisms is that they're practically quoting what the guy himself and his closest friends have actually admitted about his work habits and past projects. So the comments in defense of Harry Knowles are basically saying "Yeah, the money will be wasted. Yeah, he's lazy. But quit bumming us out because we don't care." Man, I wish I had fans like that, who would throw money at me knowing full well that it'll get blown.
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Sep 3, 2013 12:48
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Death Himself posted:I don't really know much about that guy except that he's hiding a bunch of fat behind that hair. I guess that's one way to do it... A rare shot behind the beard: 
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Sep 3, 2013 14:21
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 God drat. God loving drat. Goddamn. drat you, god. God, these dogs, drat these are some goddamn dogs. Jesus, god almighty on a bun. Dogdamn.
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Sep 4, 2013 09:45
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Sigma-X posted:The funny thing is there's a sweet hotdog chain out here in California that actually does the boutique hotdog thing pretty well: At that place you linked, they at least cooked the dogs. I'm all for meager food done right. On further inspection, it's the nice red plate that makes me laugh. He's trying so hard. You can tell. All the ingredients are there, sure, but it's collectively terrible like the chef is an alien who doesn't understand even the basic concept of food. An unmelted square of Kroger american-style imitation cheeze food lays limp on an untoasted, ripped apart cheap-o white bun. The Dollar Tree yellow-as-all-hell mustard sits opposite and in contrast to two spoonfuls of lukewarm poo poo-brown Dollar General "Meatie's Chili." The hotdogs have no grill marks, no signs of plumpness or of ever being heated whatsoever. The entire meal, chips, plate and all, are meant to be microwaved excessively and served to someone who is either crying or drunk. Then there's this nice, red, square plate with a tasteful black rim. That kickstarter guy wants this so badly and I just... alright I confess. I kinda want this guy to succeed. It's like he has a dream to be a business owner and to make and serve stereotypical American food despite never having made anything more complex than Kraft Mac and Cheese. He quit his job in a huff one day at the duck whistle factory with a triumphant "gently caress you, Clyde!" Then he went home and announced to his wife that he's finally made the leap of faith that they supposedly always talked about. He's going start his own business, god drat it! "It's the American way, sweetiebeefs. You always said you love my dogs!" Then he posted the announcement proudly to his 29 friends on Facebook, "I'm starting a hot dog business from my van! Hey, does anyone have a hibachi I can borrow?" He wants this so badly that he tried to follow some foodnetwork.com recipe for the perfect American chili dog. Weeping after his first attempt at selling this poo poo to strangers, he yells, "All the ingredients in the perfect chili dog are right here! I just don't understand why nobody likes it. Unamerican is what all these goddamn people are. Unamerican!"
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Sep 4, 2013 23:30
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I don't get this BS about wallets. Nobody besides you gives a poo poo about your wallet. They only see yours for the second between when you take it out of your pants and when you put too little money onto the bar tab and dart your eyes about hoping nobody notices that you're $10 short. Seriously, everyone I know who owns a noticeable wallet has been a cheap loving bastard. Maybe I've been conditioned like one of Pavlov's dogs, but all these Kickstarter wallets might as well be labeled with giant red lettering that say "Massive Douchebag." There's 198 wallet Kickstarters right now. I don't understand it. Wallet design is not a problem that actually exists. Nobody but the spergiest of autistics is currently having a wallet issue that can only be solved by a completely new style of wallet. I would have to have my entire life in order, including career, wife, wealth, kids, house, car, hobbies, and every other mundane aspect of my own personal fashion sussed out before I started paying attention to the fashions of poo poo that nobody but me cares about, let alone sees. It would be like getting a tattoo on my ball sack before filling out all the other body parts.
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Sep 9, 2013 21:26
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Alan Smithee posted:Just once I wanna see a dude wearing women's underwear and lipstick holding a circular saw over his bound and struggling victim in a room covered in plastic Also he's blind.
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Sep 10, 2013 04:29
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Electric Bugaloo posted:I think that the fashion regarding men's pants has largely precipitated an increased demand for thinner wallets. Bigass wallets are uncomfortable in tighter pants and they jut out noticeably. That probably wasn't a big issue over a decade ago when young people were going around in sagged JNCOs or whatever. Okay. I'll accept your premise for a second about skinny jeans and ask why do we need 50 bajillion new designs of microwallets? There's already plenty of microwallets available elsewhere. Wal-Mart sells thin wallets, microwallets, and money clips. That's how available this poo poo is. It's not like people are sitting around with their credit cards and money wadded into a zip-lock bag, just waiting for the day when their Kickstarter microwallet finally ships. Hey that gives me an idea... *Buys a few boxes of zip-lock bags* *Registers a Kickstarter project for a "Waterproof femtowallet made of space-age soft plastic and flavor-seal technology! Fits all iPhones and Android smartphones. Made of food-safe chloroethylene polymers. 100% chemically organic and made in a completely radical and totally bitchin' chain reaction that actually removes dangerous, carcinogenic vinyl chloride from the local environment! Check out our Board Game Piece Wallet or our line of femto-thin Nintendo 3DS, Sony Vita, Ouya, and Playstation 4 soft cases!"* Did I hit all the kickstarter bases?
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Sep 10, 2013 06:37
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Tubgirl Cosplay posted:I'm selling rolling your bills up in a condom and keistering them, outmaneuvered bitch. Oh god. I could actually see a fake condom gag microwallet kickstarter being successful. How about fake condom iphone sleeve? It's hilarious and easy to retrieve from your pocket. Doubles as a real emergency condom! Attention PUAs: Use our sleeves for some subliminal hinting! Name the company, "Big Johnson" and target those assholes who funded the Man Bag and Man Card bullshit.
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Sep 10, 2013 20:54
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Kickstarter should just give in already and start doing official proposition betting. Then this fat dude could set up something like this: For every pound he has to lose, he gives $10 toward his Kickstarter campaign. Pledgers match his every dollar and Kickstarter holds all the money in escrow. If he reaches his goals by the allotted times, as proven by his doctor, he gets the money. If he doesn't reach a goal in time, all the money that remains goes to the pledgers. Then I can finally bet on people's failures. If they make it, great! I'll get some entertainment and the satisfaction of knowing that I helped a dude actually change his life. If they fail, also great because I'll make a profit and be smugly satisfied that I knew that this loser could never make it.
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Sep 13, 2013 02:29
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Hey, do you guys like jokes? Here's something from Microryza, the science crowdfunding website: Why are jokes funny? A well-credentialed grad student would like to analyze jokes using Amazon Mechanical Turk. She tells and fully explains a joke in the video. The first step of the project will be "Look through a bunch of jokes and see what is there to get." In the third step, they will use science to improve old jokes. I am a fan of jokes!
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Sep 14, 2013 09:09
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draconic posted:http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/datyanderegirl/love-me-or-die?ref=recently_launched quote:Why is there no video? He lives with one workaholic and one Snorlax and is physically trapped in a studio apartment with no walls. This is why there is no video.
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Sep 15, 2013 09:05
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senrath posted:I really should've explained better when I made that post, but I was tired and a little cranky. See, my big problem with how things turned out with Story War wasn't that I'm not getting everything I "paid" for (really, donated for). My problem is their apparent uncaring attitude towards these problems. I think people are giving you a hard time because it's an issue of relativism. In a traditional games thread, your complaints might be a big deal. Here, however, it's like you're sitting in an ER waiting room next to someone who just got half of his body blown off from a Kickstarter IED and you are explaining to the triage nurse your problem with inexplicably damp feet. This is a war, soldier. The enemy has 200 microwallets coming right for us.
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Sep 15, 2013 21:38
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Midnight Voyager posted:And then... things got weird. Well it's about drat time someone figured out how to turn real people into anime. Everyone who clicks this should keep scrolling until they see the guy. You'll know when you see the guy. He's right past the 500 sketches of fancy aliens.
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Sep 16, 2013 21:40
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Was Subutai open from the start that the Kickstarter campaign was only for first round fundraising, or was this something they announced after they blew half a million bucks on hookers and swords?
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Sep 20, 2013 07:46
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Zeether posted:I just heard that part 3 of the Atlas Shrugged movie is going to be funded by Kickstarter I like the FAQ. They do a little song and dance to explain how Ayn Rand would support begging for money in order to fund the third part of a twice-failed venture. And then there's this gem: quote:2. We're very aware that we have a built-in "anti-Atlas" audience as well. We know from our experience with the first two films that there is an incredible amount of vitriol out there and, we have every intention of capitalizing on it this time around. As we launch the Kickstarter campaign, those haters are going to come ALIVE. They're going to come after us in droves attacking us everywhere online. To them, we say thank you. Thank you for helping us spread the word. We're looking forward to the onslaught of all those negative blogs, facebook posts, and tweets. I don't think I've ever seen a preemptive puppetmaster defense. They are also ignoring the huge number of people who are pro-atlas but against lovely movies and massive wastes of money.
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Sep 23, 2013 19:34
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Electric Bugaloo posted:I don't know if all of this fretting over Doobie's Dogs is proof that goons are good people at heart, terrible people at heart, or (most likely) some swirly combination of the two. I think we've all been there, jobless with nothing but a bucket of hotdogs, a block of processed cheese, a van, an American flag, and a goddamn dream. Or at least that was my initial impression. Since the campaign started, the guy has actually built his kitchen (look at the updates!), done some hotdog catering, set up his entire supply chain, and he appears to have his budget planned very well, albeit with the help of "How to Start a Hotdog Cart" eBooks. He's got a dream, man, and none of us and not even the devil himself is going to be able to stop him. Unlike a lot of crappy Kickstarters, I believe this is going to happen with or without our funding. This guy is Forrest Gump and his shrimping boat/hotdog stand might as well be built right next to the Field of Dreams. I don't mean to imply that he's an idiot, but that I admire his blind confidence and hotdog faith. I come from Hipsterville where we only eat hotdogs ironically, as a joke, so that other people can look at us and say "Haha. That's hilarious. Let me take an Instagram of that. Imagine if you ate hotdogs and actually liked them." So this campaign touches me in ways both mystical and nostalgic. It makes me yearn for the days when I could eat bad food unironically and wear plaid because it's warm and because lumberjacks are cool, not because I'm trying to convey some dumb hidden message. Every time you eat a hotdog, you get to become a kid again for two minutes. The hotdogs are hilarious, but I genuinely hate it when people get flak for "trying too hard." We badly need more people who try too hard. It's the most foolish insult to say, "I dislike you because I dislike effort." We are a generation of people who were told their entire lives by nurturing, caring, hippie parents they we are all geniuses. Every boy a wonderboy. Every child above average. But rare is a parent who doesn't care about test scores and IQs, but instead praises their kid only for trying and failing. Effort, man. Effort. That matters so much more than innate intelligence, than knowledge, than wit. You should try to do new things even when (hell, especially when) you think you will fail. This man is trying hard, with all his might, for an aspiration that isn't even lofty. It's humble man wanting for a reachable goal involving the most meager of foods in the tiniest of towns in the poorest of states. Yeah, I'll be damned if I'm going to dislike a guy for trying too hard. It's apparent that he has turned to crowdfunding only because he has already put every spare dollar he owns into this business. I might not believe in the superior deliciousness of Doobie's hotdogs, but I want to believe in them. And I would eat one. Another thing is that this appears to be a very small town where the median household income is 20 grand and the most prominent restaurant is a Subway. A hotdog stand, of all things, could affect real change there. It's a good story: The unfeeling internet hordes pulling together to fund a rural hotdog stand in Reform, Alabama. That is something I want to be part of. "Doobie's Dog House" is a name worthy of headlines. I want confused journalists to try to figure out what the gently caress happened, why it happened, and how they can possibly convey the idea of crowdfunding to their readers. It'll be like when CNN tries to explain memes. At the very least, this has the potential to make an entire town wonder about Something Awful. Someday, I would like to drive to Doobie's Dog House, eat a hotdog, and think of goons. To finally answer your question about our motivations, it's definitely the third option. We are good and bad meats processed together and extruded as 6 foot tall tubes, both cynical and kind, complicated and salty. Goons are actual hotdogs. I pledged $25 for both entertainment and charity. If this works and there's a hungry Alabama goon who wants my hotdogs, they can have them. Just please take pictures so it's like a child sponsorship charity, only for meat tubes instead of impoverished children. If the Kickstarter fails, then I will have paid nothing and told a guy that I admire his efforts and his gumption.
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Sep 25, 2013 03:32
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sporklift posted:Love that picture alongside all of the professional and artsy photos. Chili dogs #nofilter. Ha! Yeah, it does kinda stand out. I hope this spawns 50 copycat kickstarters from people wondering how they can possibly get in on this sweet, sweet Kickstarter hotdog action. 
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Sep 25, 2013 21:41
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:
I'm convinced that there's some kind of valley right next to the Uncanny Valley, except even more freakish, where the people from drawings like that one can live and frolic and play. Even the Uncanny Valley people think they're horrid. They hush their Uncanny children, quietly admonishing them, "We do not speak of the the Ungodly Valley."
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Sep 26, 2013 23:07
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Let's talk about awful kickstarters, guys. Don't worry about Doobie hotdogs or FYAD or frogs. 
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Oct 1, 2013 01:51
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 Hey, do you guys like it when lovely beer explodes in your face because some rear end in a top hat shook it up and threw it at you? If so, look no further than the Cooler Cannon, where that rear end in a top hat is now a robot trapped in a cooler. HOLY poo poo BRAH! If you pledge $10, you get a koozie! (Actual cooler costs $240 and will be delivered either next fall or never) They need $275,000 and will probably get it because it involves beer and was on TV. If they could somehow give that robot breasts, it would make a million dollars by tomorrow. I hate everyone.  In a similar vein, we have Super Dickman (Probably NWS), which is a platformer game about a dick-man. As shown by that screenshot, the game features epic quests such as "find my planks" and something that involves spraying urine all over walls.  Here's the video game equivalent of a feed bag. Do your arms get exhausted after playing video games for 16 hours straight? Well, let your neck bear the burden of that heavy controller. Now you can use your piss bottle and grab a ladlefull of mayonnaise at the same time without worrying about where to put that unwieldy controller. I know, some of you will buy this because it's somehow practical for gaming while standing or something, but it's still ridiculous if only because it reminds me of one of those prank gift boxes from The Onion:    Finally, here's TSA Survivor shirts, which are $35 T-shirts featuring clip-art. Noni has a new favorite as of 12:52 on Oct 3, 2013 |
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Oct 3, 2013 12:50
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I'm not sure how to feel about that oddly-specific choice of favorite colors.  Yep. Thanks, Google. That's exactly how I feel about this kickstarter. Noni has a new favorite as of 12:43 on Oct 6, 2013 |
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Oct 6, 2013 12:38
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Fatkraken posted:Honestly if the Tellspec people are actually planning to send out some kind of product not just running an outright cash grab scam, they need to be stopped. That's a good point and it looks like Indiegogo prohibits medical devices of this sort: quote:By way of example, and not limitation, your promise means you will not use the Service: Let's see if Indiegogo actually has a spine.
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Oct 6, 2013 13:30
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The Power of Rape is my least-favorite Deepak Chopra book.
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Oct 12, 2013 15:46
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pathetic little tramp posted:Pull up thread! There's nothing like a bank that costs ten times more than the change it holds.
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Oct 23, 2013 23:17
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hazatude posted:Heya Goons! Sorry dude. You can't solicit without mod permission first. Personal charity projects are unlikely to pass muster no matter how unfortunate we all think your condition is. It's not because goons are insensitive pricks, but because there would immediately be 50 threads in GBS with people asking for money, many of which would probably be good causes for people in difficult positions. Please edit your post to remove the links and I won't probate you.
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Oct 24, 2013 02:08
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Pomp posted:
I want to see how a dude with 400 Facebook friends somehow fails at raising a mere $1000.
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Oct 28, 2013 22:22
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Zybourne Clock posted:Do you love zombies, ham and cheese sandwiches, video games, or any combination of these three things? Then you might like Safe House, a zombie apocalypse themed cyber cafe/deli combination. They're going to have next-gen video games consoles in addition to a variety of meats and cheeses and Coca-Cola, and also hope to sell every flavor of Monster energy drink. Their stretch goal is to prepare and sell their own hamburgers, and should they reach it they're going to randomly give away games consoles as prizes. Fixed funding? Are these guys insane? That's not how you scam people on indiegogo. monster on a stick posted:
Hey, I recognize that guy (6923 results). The Stock Shirt Guy with the bracelet is really the best of all the stock shirt guys. You can't go wrong with using him in your crowdfunding project.
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Oct 30, 2013 08:10
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They didn't do anything about the TellSpec bullshit either. That was the fake food scanner that a bunch of goons and various anti-scam websites reported. Other than fake charities after disasters, has anyone ever seen Indiegogo remove a campaign?
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Oct 31, 2013 02:42
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skull wall posted:on account of -> Ooh, I see a sailboat in his shirt. Neat!
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Nov 14, 2013 06:20
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SupSuper posted:Hey look, it's all your favorite 90s sci-fi stars: Cliff Simon (Stargate), Claudia Christian (Babylon 5), Terry Molloy, Colin Baker and Lizzie Roper (Doctor Who)! They're coming back together! To do an all All Your Base Are Belong To Us parody! Hahaha what the hell?
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Nov 26, 2013 08:14
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Or you could ignore the bad parker and decide not to care about dumb things anymore and maybe then go home and rethink your life.
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Dec 8, 2013 14:17
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joedevola posted:Is there a tumblr name generator somewhere making all these terrible game titles? I would play HammerFork: Knife of the SpoonBowl but only if it's a sequel to Chex Quest.
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Dec 11, 2013 15:56
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