The Resume and Interview ULTRATHREAD: they saw Amazonian attributes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > The Resume and Interview ULTRATHREAD: they saw Amazonian attributes

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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This is a great thread, and I am definitely going to make some adjustments to my r�sum� based on that original post!

That said, is there any way to get hired by a "normal" company when you have, oh, say, two master's degrees and are within a year of finishing your doctorate, and even temp agencies do not find you work anymore? Some people say to just list my master's degrees but leave off my doctoral program entirely, but then I have "mostly-unpaid freelance editor and researcher" as my only employment since 2008. That would not exactly inspire confidence in me if I were hiring for Random Job X.

Hopefully this will all be moot as I have applied for hundreds of academic and federal government jobs over the last several months (and obviously was glad to see both of them listed as exceptions in the post, haha), but if my upcoming semester university teaching gig ends and I still have nothing, I have no choice but to take whatever I can get (which, as I mentioned, is currently "nothing at all"). And I understand that supposedly call centers are easy employment, but all of the temp agencies I am signed up for work with call centers yet have given me nothing, not to mention that even my wife would rather see me on welfare than work at a call center.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2013 02:44

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:41

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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GreenCard78 posted:

What did you get two master's and a PhD in?

Apologies for not mentioning this, but they are not in any field where you magically get a job just by having a degree or anything--the masters are in two different but related social sciences, the doctorate will be in the same field as the second master's. Obviously I am hoping that I just get an academic or federal job and this is all irrelevant--but between academia being always-hard-and-just-getting-harder to get into and the government being prone to cancelling huge swaths of job postings, I am hoping to figure something better out for January when I am unemployed again.

My IT director friend says that every field he has ever worked in would never hire someone like me, no matter my skill level, because it would be obvious I am just biding my time until I get a job as a professor at which point I would quit my other job immediately, haha. Hard to argue with that, since the what-I-would-do part is actually true.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2013 22:26

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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hitension posted:

I don't think the questions are stupid, but PLEASE drop the phrase "big girl job". The Ask a Manager blog does a better job explaining why it is bad than I ever could:

I am literally stunned that someone would use a phrase like that in a cover letter. Literally stunned. I am unable to move or speak or type.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2013 07:17

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Jet Ready Go posted:

For the record I knew you were only making reference to yourself in a silly manner on the forums. I don't know why these people thought you wrote it on your r�sum� but didn't have time to post a reply because I was at work.

Oh, I did not think she wrote it in her r�sum� or cover letter, but that article suggested that, in fact, people really do this, which was the thing I was astounded by.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2013 07:56

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Stultus Maximus posted:

It's usually a required field in the application form.

I would also be interested to hear what people have to say on this subject, as I have also been stymied by "mandatory salary requirement field" aspects of questionnaires.

I have the educational/skill requirements to land $100k+ government jobs, but despite ostensibly 7 years of "work experience," my highest-paying job ever was either $12/hour or $4,000/summer project (depending on which of those sounds less pathetic). So when I get to the parts of these forms like WHAT ARE YOUR SALARY EXPECTATIONS I expect that no matter what number I put down the employers will be like "ahahah U WISH" because they assume I am obviously not worth paying any amount of money.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2013 00:29

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Bisty Q. posted:

Graduate school GPAs are literally worthless, however, which is what the guy I was responding to was asking about.

I am not the sort of person who was going to list it on his r�sum� anyway, but this advice still sounds contradictory for graduate students who have never had real-world experience (I worked for a few years between undergraduate and graduate school, but most of my cohort did not). I imagine someone getting a first job after graduate school would be just as well advised as a recent undergraduate in listing it?

(Also I know this is not the government jobs thread, but keep in mind that the federal government requires you to list it on your r�sum� when applying for any job through USAJobs.gov, and I imagine they are not the only ones)

# ¿ Jun 25, 2013 20:56

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Bisty Q. posted:

Basically everyone in graduate school leaves with a 3.9 or higher. To me, graduate school GPA is not a worthwhile piece of data.

That said, if it is your only accomplishment (you didn't TA or RA or anything relevant in grad school), then of course you should list it, and I don't think it will *hurt* -- I just don't think it will help as much people think it might.

I see what you are saying, and that makes sense. Though if I told people in my graduate program that everyone leaves with a 3.9, they would laugh at me. And I am hardly in some sort of top program. Maybe the more elite the program, the more profound the grade inflation? Several of my classmates are jealous of my 3.8, haha.

Regardless, as I filled out yet another online application that had a mandatory "minimum salary requested" field, I thought of this thread and smiled. Or is that cried? I am not sure.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2013 07:11

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Mondlicht posted:

It's a lot of pressure, but yeah, gotta put it aside for the interview as hard as it can be sometimes.

While this might not make you feel better, hopefully it will do something for you--keep in mind that people who interview well but whose qualifications never get them interviews are have it harder

If you are good enough for the interview, you are good enough for the job. Or at least you can tell yourself that, as it very well may be true.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2013 04:09

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Falcon2001 posted:

If you dropped out of college (and presumably not so shortly ago that you could say you're continuing soon), should you just leave it off your resume entirely?

I am no r�sum� expert, but I have often seen, particularly for mid-career people, some acknowledgement of the number of credit hours they have, particularly if in a field relevant to the industry you are trying to get into. I think "going to college for a few years" still sounds better than "never going to college" (sounds, mind you, the people I know who never went to college on purpose are almost all more successful than the ones who half-heartedly went for a year and dropped out).

# ¿ Jul 13, 2013 10:20

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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johnny sack posted:

Get a haircut. There's nothing like a neat trim and a neat beard. Fresh out of grad school, I kept hair that was probably roughly the length of yours. Maybe slightly longer. I interviewed at a lot of places, and was hired eventually at a big university. Places like universities don't care what you look like, but professional businesses do.

It can certainly depend where you live. Every time I mentioned cutting my hair to get a job here in Seattle, someone in the group would laugh and say "you would look clean-cut compared to [story about Guy X from Workplace Y]." I mean, I have seen dudes with long hair (and not even pulled back) at several types of jobs here in Seattle, jobs I have never seen anyone but short-hairs working anywhere else. From upscale retail to city employees (and obviously tech jobs).

That said, I am still going to cut my hair because I have no doubt that some tiny level of discrimination exists everywhere.

And that said, I promise you that within "our" lifetime someone is going to end up at the Supreme Court (and win) over this issue, because it is one of the rare cases of sex-based discrimination that squarely (and solely) targets men.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2013 23:15

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Eric the Mauve posted:

Nah, you're not cursed, it's standard. Retail managers don't like hiring people who are between jobs in professional fields, because they usually aren't good at accepting the kind of pervasive casual humiliation that is the life of a retail drone, they usually bounce out after a month or two, and if these things turn out not to be true then they might become a threat to the manager's own position.

Teacher is probably especially bad in this case, because when you say 'teacher' to a lot of retail managers, what they hear is 'person who will chafe against my micromanagement.' I'd do everything possible to de-emphasize the word 'teacher' in my interactions with these people if I were you.

It sucks, but there's nothing you can do but carpetbomb applications (frustrating and horribly time consuming as that is) and try your best to act ultra upbeat and positive when talking to people.

I have been delighting in this since last year when I quit my last job; per my username, I am, well, overqualified for ... basically every job I have seen posted the whole time I have been searching. You know you are in trouble when the temp agencies stop returning your calls.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 05:47

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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I look forward to the magical far-flung day where I have a reason to care about the negotiations thread, as the advice in there really is awesome.

Though something tells me the only two fields I have any interest in/qualifications for (academia and government) are least-likely to have the ability to add $10,000 to your salary through negotiations.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 18:40

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Good to know, thanks; "starting any higher on the regimented pay scale" is certainly still a goal well-worth learning good negotiation tactics for.

Now I am going to start hardball negotiation tactics with this thread. I need at least 10 more posts per week if I am going to be able to justify the bookmark

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 20:06

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

1) How about dental sales? She said sales was too much like stripping.

Your friend is awesome for this answer, particularly as it is now a better way for me to contextualize why I was immediately and actively put off by retail the one time I tried it.

Both of my exotic dancer friends became librarians; clearly there is a synergy there.

The only thing that ever helped me figure out what to do when I needed to change careers in my 20s was asking myself what that I wanted to be as a child was actually a real thing I could try to be as an adult.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2020 23:47

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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It is kind of hilarious to look back at the first page of the thread and see me having the exact same problem as I have now: having a doctorate means you lose access to entry-level jobs.

(I ended up working in government for five years, which is one place that does not nearly so much care about your education versus the job you are applying for)

But yeah, I did some networking to see about getting an academic administrative job in my field (no worries, no interest in the literally impossible professor job hunt), and everyone is telling me that I should be applying for jobs with the word "director" in the title, and uh, O.K., like, I do see some of the other graduates of my very same program are assistant/directors in academic institutions around the country, so I understand this is not insanity, but...surely a r�sum� needs to look different for an executive-type job? Like these more buzzwordy-sounding skills sections I always see when I look at examples?

Or am I just getting confused by the fact that "executive" can be used to mean both "head of a Fortune 500 company" and "person running an academic office with four employees?"

# ¿ Feb 21, 2020 21:49

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Lockback posted:

Director is not executive-level. It's either middle management or maybe upper management, depending on the company and almost always below the executive level.

A doctorate and domain level knowledge of an area is a really good start for a director, yeah. This is assuming you are applying in fields that are related to your education. If not, just don't mention the masters/doctorate. There's no law that says you have to disclose that.

Yeah I think the concept of "executive" is a strange one anyway, but that makes sense how you are putting it.

I got into an interesting discussion once about how if people get fired for lying about having a doctorate, might someone also get fired for lying about not having a doctorate, if similarly that fact would have removed you from consideration initially?

Certainly the more time that passes since I finished the more plausible that move would become, as eventually it would no longer be like "so, uh, you just did not work from 2010 - 2014 or what?"

Edit: I definitely appreciate any advice, but part of my problem is also geographical. If I were willing to move to D.C. or a few other big cities I would probably be able to snag a fairly high-roller job with my education and experience, but needing to be in Iowa makes that a little harder

# ¿ Feb 22, 2020 00:18

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

I think the idea of a doctorate being a negative is dumb and that you should always disclose it because it�s a good thing. You earned it. Also �losing access to entry level jobs� I�m just gonna file under good problems. Go for jobs that fit your accomplishments. Teach yourself what you need to succeed.

Really I agree all around. I was only applying to entry-level stuff because I relocated for family reasons and my wife encouraged me to get a crappy job as soon as possible while looking for a real job, but it is seemingly going to be easier to get a good job than a crappy job at my current level. Though I am sure someone can point out the crappy job category that would still hire me (call centers maybe?).

Lockback posted:

I can fire you for not disclosing you sat on the red mat in kindergarten, you can fire someone for any reason (that's not specifically protected) in 49 states. However, lying about having qualifications is a MUCH bigger deal than not disclosing qualifications for what I hope are pretty self-evident reasons.

Definitely gotta move to the 50th state so my red mat can remain secret.

Yeah, clearly when you make up a doctorate it might make the news, so that seems like the bigger issue.

Xguard86 posted:

Could always say you felt it wasn't relevant to the position so didn't put it on the resume or mention it.

I don't think it would be a problem. The people it scares off are probably not who you want to be working for. Assuming you don't come across as entitled or too ivory tower.

I actually might come off as too ivory tower in general, but the good news is the existence or lack of a doctorate is not going to much change how terrible I probably seem to The Average Joe. My favorite interview feedback was that it was "self-important" to bring up my doctorate when answering the question "what makes you stand out from the other candidates for this position?" Yes, I learned my lesson; never mention it ever, even if the question seems specifically aimed at getting you to talk about it.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 04:31

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Dik Hz posted:

Director means something completely different in academic and business terms. In the business world, director essentially means that you lead a program or division, and you manage lower level managers. You're unlikely to get hired as a director (unless it's a start-up with inflated titles) without substantial prior management experience, even with a doctorate.

As Eric the Mauve suspected, I have absolutely no idea what is going on when placed in a world where you are supposed to help a company make money, so I basically avoid applying to private sector jobs entirely.

CarForumPoster posted:

Yea I think her advice isn't very good here. If you're in the US, unemployment is at record lows. Its an extremely tight labor market. You have a PhD. Go get a decent job (and maybe figure out how to interview without seeming like a dick).

Yeah you would think; I even live in an area where unemployment is lower than in most of the country. But the available job market here is heavy on healthcare, retail, manufacturing, and engineering, which is why I am so strongly considering going back to government work in Chicago in a position with better Telework options.

Eric the Mauve posted:

My guess would be that retail managers can sense before they even sit down for the interview that he is wildly out of his element in the retail wage-slave world, and one way or the other wouldn't last two months if hired.

Definitely don't bring up the Ph.D. if at all possible, but that's probably not the only issue there.

No worries, I am wildly out of my element everywhere, like most academics. Fortunately I do encounter the odd (government) job here and there where they are excited to underpay someone who is guaranteed to bring an unusual perspective to the job.

The best/worst thing about being me is that I somehow got the idea from an early age that if you could avoid being nervous at a job interview that you could get the job, so I may be the world's least-nervous interviewer. Turns out that does not help much if you do not actually say the appropriate things to make them think you should have the job.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2020 21:46

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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"Danny" is Parahexavoctal, the Goon who helps people with this kind of thing. He has banner ads. He also walked with a stick when I met him, and I am not sure he needed the stick.

Dik Hz posted:

What's your PhD in? Making the switch from academia to private industry isn't that big. Unlike academia, with a PhD in industry, you get treated as a subject matter expert, you have an actual shot at having a decent manager, the drama is less petty, and you get a lot more money.

It is a social science with a subfield that is extraordinarily relevant to metropolitan areas; not so much to Eastern Iowa. Oh hell with it, I am an immigration specialist; anyone dedicated to doxx me would not have much trouble following the handle at this point in my life anyway.

Anyway yeah, hence me probably heading back to Chicago soon and hoping for the best. But I would absolutely work for private industry in my subfield considering how many jobs there are (LinkedIn reminds me daily that there are hundreds of jobs that need my expertise; all I have to do is be in San Francisco or New York or DC or); if for some reason my wife decides to move after she gets tenure at her university, that will definitely be a good way to pick a new location.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 03:45

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

What is an immigration specialist? What does a PhD in immigration specialism know?

I imagine this is not a joke, but I am not sure how it is not a joke. What I know is... more about U.S. immigration policy and history than, well, anyone who ever talks about it on television for one

If you specifically meant "I have never heard of a Ph.D. in Immigration" well fair enough, it is just the specialty for my broader social science doctorate

I also worked in immigration for the federal government, making me the most dangerous kind of academic who actually has theoretical AND practical(!) experience in his subject

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 19:47

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Yes, what he said.

I can certainly confirm that a substantial percentage of the people with advanced degrees at my federal job were former immigration lawyers, though.

Some higher-ups were very excited that someone like me was actually interested in being involved with the process instead of just talking about how it was all bad! And other higher-ups kind of openly denigrated my doctorate since they only had a high school education and it served them just fine. Go Vermont!

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 20:38

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

Ahh cool, no that didnt come to mind. Random thought: there are a bunch of startups in the immigration space. Most of them on navigating the complexity of the legal process. Most run by JDs. If you could talk to the CEO of an immigration startup/charity like https://www.immigrantslikeus.org/ is there a way your training could add value to that business? Is that something you'd be interested in?

Ooh, thanks; yeah, I had started playing around with the idea of seeing if some of my other immigration academia bros wanted to start a consultancy or, you know, seeing something like this where someone already did it and might want me to join up. Gonna contact this dude RIGHT NOW

I am also trying to make something happen with a woman I know who does climate change forced relocation consulting and is very convinced she can get a cut of Bezos' new $10 billion, but something tells me even if she does it will not actually solve all my problems. STILL GOTTA HUSTLE THOUGH

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 04:25

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

I know some people in this space and could give you feedback on pitching them if they also didn't know what your degree was.

i.e. can you describe a specific value add? Like how does the knowledge gained through your PhD relate to adding value to these types of companies?

I appreciate your help; there is probably a reason I have only ever gotten government jobs or jobs through referrals, as if I knew how to explain my value to people outside my field, that would surely crack this job search thing wide open. This is probably why working for the government was so appealing for me, because I did not have the chance to explain myself or my value to the job (for good or ill) even if I wanted to.

The best answer is probably my synthesis of academia and government: I am someone who ceaselessly comes up with creative ideas grounded in meticulous and extensive research, and also appreciates from first-hand experience the insane difficulty involved in actually making any changes.

Plus I am like Alpha Wordsmith, great at keeping projects on track, and probably the least dour person in any office... but depending on the position, those might be seen as useless (or worse). Sure, you always hear that strong writing skills are invaluable in nearly any job, but being great at it never comes up in interviews (I even have awards to prove it!).

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 04:01

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Thank you for reminding me of the most botched interview I ever had. Only a minute or so into this phone interview, before we had even really gotten past introductions, they told me they were having a very hard time hearing me (and I was having a hard time hearing them, too--incredibly stormy day in both our areas, which I guess messes with cell reception since apparently there is no hope for phones ever being good?). They asked if I could quickly call them back on a landline (I took the last interview time offered and it was only a 15-minute slot).

Well... first off, I was at least three minutes away from a landline, since I had walked down the street to get away from office noise and snooping co-workers. I half-heartedly jogged back to the office and went to grab a phone and call them back before realizing I did not even know how to get an outside line with one of our phones (no, it was not pressing 9). And I was not nearly interested enough in this other job to brave telling my supervisor I needed to make an outside call. So... I guess they assume I died in that horrible storm.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 22:03

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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It is no wonder people who work for the government never leave the government when we have no idea whether our work had any positive impact on our agency and thus could never write anything like that anyway.

I am sure a truly skilled self-marketer could make it work, admittedly. Now to find one, and kill and eat him to gain his powers.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 20:41

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Yeah part of the reason I changed my major back from computer science is because the Dot-Com Bubble bursting had led to college people telling us in the early 2000s that computer jobs were not going to be nearly as lucrative in the future. Oops lol

CarForumPoster posted:

The goal isn't necessarily to prove you had an impact, though its great if you can. Sometimes you factually can't, e.g. if you work on a project that was killed before going live. Maybe you work in sales and are selling a product the market doesn't want. The goal is to demonstrate to the people considering you that you understood what success/impact was in that role and sought to improve it, ideally by measuring it. In most jobs it has something to do with creating money or saving money for the company. In governmental roles it could be much softer things such as improving the relationship with a different country.

I appreciate that advice. Now to figure out if I understand the point of my last job well enough to improve my write-up! Actually it makes it easier that nobody really knew what specifically I was supposed to be doing, as I can just take anything I did do and try to write it up as beneficial.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2020 03:31

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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I just got a rejection letter from the job I interviewed for as a personal favor to someone. He knew the job was not quite appropriately advanced for my experience, but knew I would be great in the role and needed a job and that I would help the department grow.

Well, on the plus side, that means I do not now have to agonize over whether to actually take the job!

What do you do when you run out of jobs to apply for

# ¿ Mar 10, 2020 03:17

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

Search the internet. LinkedIn, Indeed, etc.

My problem is that I need the jobs to either be remote or local to my underpopulated area; I can check every job in my field within commuting distance in about thirty seconds between LinkedIn and Google For Jobs (though thank you, I learned while reading about job boards that Indeed actually does not let Google For Jobs steal its results, so I do need to add Indeed to my list).

Lockback posted:

FYI, I have definitely rejected people because I thought they would be a bad fit, even if they were over qualified. If you were projecting "interviewed as a personal favor", "Not quite appropriately advanced" or "Agnonize whether or not to take the job" that might have been what sunk you. That's not really a resume or qualification problem (you wouldn't have gotten the interview if so) but potentially a problem with how you are presenting yourself and your background. I wasn't in the interview so I don't know, but I have seen very intelligent people come into and interview and talk about how great they'd be at some other job entirely and that is an easy rejection.

You probably really need to find a good remote job that'd get you rolling or think long and hard about moving. I know you have something with your wife or something that is keeping you stuck in a place that is not a good fit career wise but it might be worthwhile to really truly weigh everything and see if that makes as much sense as it used to.

You could certainly be right that the interview might not have gone as well as I thought it did; certainly my overall terrible interview-to-job conversion rate suggests you may be on to something. Though this might be the first time I have interviewed for a job I thought I was virtually guaranteed to get, so at least it was a different issue than usual if that was why.

I joined one remote-focused job board last Fall, but it was back when I was still in the "just find anything!" mindset and most of the jobs are like "be paid a few dollars to basically write everything for our company" variety. I have heard good things about FlexJobs, so I will probably give that a whirl, though nearly all of their immigration jobs require the ability to practice law in whatever state. I am open to being told that should not be a bar (teehee!) to me applying for a job, but that seems like a fairly clear signal that those jobs are not open to me. But there are a few that just talk about "immigration experience" so I feel like those are at least viable.

Also part of the reason I am trying not to go all-in on the idea of moving for a job now is that my old office in Chicago is now doing 90% telework where when I was there it was only doing 10% telework, so my most feasible goal is to get hired back there. Well. If the government ever hires people again. Used to pretty reliably post a bunch of openings quarterly but uh, yeah, might be until after November now.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2020 03:04

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Automation will almost certainly accelerate in conjunction with the particular tenor of this crisis. Anyone else notice Amazon just started licensing its "pick up your poo poo and walk out of the store without further ado" system out a couple weeks ago? Who wants to bet hundreds of thousands of cashier jobs will disappear forever in the next year?

# ¿ Mar 18, 2020 00:32

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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Betazoid posted:

Anyone? I'm putting in an application I'm super interested in tomorrow most likely and don't want to make any really dumb, avoidable mistakes.

Sorry, I assumed someone else would instantly chime in with "have you checked the USAJobs thread?" since there is definitely good advice there. Even if much of the best advice is how you should intentionally forget you applied so you do not get mad when it takes nine months to get an interview

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 01:43

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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gamer roomie is 41 posted:

I hate skills tests, but excel is one thing that tons of people either lie about or wrongly assume they are proficient in. If they manage a lot of data in excel it's probably worth it for them to know you actually know how to use it as a tool instead of just a table display. 3 hours is a lot of time but in covid quarantine terms is it that much of a sink? Give it a shot. And just to be safe you should probably wear a "bernie would have won" t shirt to the interview.

I have never been prouder than the time the temp agency asked me to take the computer skills test barrage and the woman stared at my perfect Word and Excel scores (I missed a few on Outlook of all things) and was like "hmm, yes, this should help us find you a job" whoops j/k lol but hey it made me feel good for five minutes. If you do not know how to do simple formulas and pivot tables without even checking the documentation you definitely have no idea what you are doing (not claiming I do, there have to be hundreds of Excel functions I have never used)

But yeah, if you want someone who actually knows how to whip Excel into shape and you have an office like my last team where me freezing the top row of a spreadsheet was seen as astounding, well, yeah, you will notice the difference.

Hey, remember jobs? Those were cool.

# ¿ May 10, 2020 01:01

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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FogHelmut posted:

Excel skills test? All you need to know is SUM, VLOOKUP and sometimes pivot table. If you know more than that you should be getting paid a lot more than $60K.

Time for a career change!

Almost all of my lifelong friends are in IT and none of them had IT degrees either, why should I be any different

# ¿ May 10, 2020 18:28

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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I wonder if "taken a course in Excel" is like an age discrimination question, considering I had quarter courses in high school on Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and uhhh honestly I do not remember the last one, but I will always lean on that if ever asked if I had taken courses on it personally, and surely I am not unique in this experience?

# ¿ May 23, 2020 06:46

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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CarForumPoster posted:

If you’re a PhD getting asked this question something is wrong. This is a question people ask office/admin/legal assistant types and maybe finance/accounting types

Oh I have only been asked it by a temp agency that cannot find me anyone willing to hire a Ph.D. and was grasping at straws as to how to market me, naturally.

DantetheK9 posted:

Hell, it might be an age thing. They didn't offer courses on any of that when I was in high school. We had typing and a VERY basic computer skills course and that was it. (Graduated from a rural Alabama high school in 2000)

Yeah that makes sense. I have no idea how common such courses are in high school; even though I never would have guessed it at the time, my school was pretty good. Now, if only I had actually stayed a computer science major in college and taken advantage of it

_{Plus as part of those office suite classes they implemented a typing speed competition the year I was graduating; I am the pathetic middle-aged guy still bragging about his unbroken high school sports record, if you catch my drift}

# ¿ May 23, 2020 18:17

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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What is the cool dude way to refer on your r�sum� to an intermittent job that is more on than off?

I just accepted a job with FEMA, which is as you might imagine contingent on disasters (and yes, as far as I can tell life is a constant disaster these days), so there certainly may be a week or month here and there I am not working. But saying "part-time" seems pretty weak for a job where I could theoretically be working 60 hours a week for eight months straight, and "seasonal" obviously does not make any sense either.

I thought about averaging the hours I worked, including non-work weeks, but is that somehow also misleading?

# ¿ Jul 15, 2020 02:18

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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gamer roomie is 41 posted:

Lessons learned: if you need to write a long meandering essay on a message board to barely justify an expensive decision, the answer is no.

This really is a valuable lesson. It is a lot like reading something you wrote out loud to suddenly realize it sounds awkward anywhere but in your head; you never truly know something's value until you see if you can justify it.

(This is why I never asked for feedback as to whether I should get a doctorate)

# ¿ Jul 17, 2020 23:00

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:41

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

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It must be interesting to get messages from recruiters that are not Spam from hacked recruiter accounts

(I am not bitter, I know I am not in any fields that lend themselves to recruiters)

# ¿ Jul 30, 2020 20:24

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > The Resume and Interview ULTRATHREAD: they saw Amazonian attributes