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Office bunny has stolen all of office puppys thunder 
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May 29, 2015 07:37
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Office Puppy is annoyed that Office Bunny and Office Lizard was getting all her attention, so she came to work to fix poo poo up! Printer inspected and found OK:  Sniffing out some hard drives:  Mission accomplished, treat time! 
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Jun 4, 2015 08:29
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A pretty much new Lenovo Thinkpad came in to the IT department, and the consultant who used it quit 2 months ago according to AD. We don't use Thinkpads at our company, and it has the anti-theft markings of a completely different company. I called the phone number on the label, and nobody answered. The BIOS and harddrive isn't password locked, so hello to my new Thinkpad I guess.
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Jun 9, 2015 09:56
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Why are there mismatched monitors in the background? If I see any of my coworkers giving that to users, that's a stabbin'
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Jun 12, 2015 12:05
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Dell W7 keys work fine on generic ISOs, but you might have to do phone activation.
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Jun 19, 2015 07:00
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The printers in the IT department are now so messed up that I have had to show my IT coworkers how to save to PDF on a USB drive and plug that into the printer to print from it. This is all thanks to someone trying to get PullPrint to work, and then going on vacation without it being done. I'm sure it's fixable in very little time, but I don't want to touch the poop.
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Jul 21, 2015 06:52
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Dual Dell U2410s here, hooked up to a Precision M4800 that just happened to be left over after our redundancies. I need this setup to close my tickets.
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Jul 27, 2015 07:31
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An iPhone came in outta the spec bucket.  If it's really quiet in the room you can hear the colony whispering about labor rights and unionization.
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Jul 27, 2015 09:02
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Jerry Cotton posted:What would you do if the servers were on fire? Grab a bucket of sea water and head back? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uesx85EHRTo
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Jul 31, 2015 13:01
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Take 4*200 mg Ibuprofen, it cures EVERYTHING! The thread needs to know what happens at that meeting.
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Aug 5, 2015 10:45
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KoRMaK posted:Computer Janitor, the noblest profession. I've tried a bunch of different career paths in coaching, communications, ISP DSL analyst, sales, team management, business analysis etc etc etc, but I find that I'm not happy in any of them. I'm at my happiest when I have a screwdriver in my hand and a broken computer in front of me. I SHOULD branch out into server management, networking, VMware, storage etc, but it just doesn't feel as good as long as the pay and benefits I get for having my favorite hobby as my job are decent enough.
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Sep 3, 2015 07:29
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Never ever ever ever loving touch a users data. Their files, their documents, their pictures, their text messages, their drawings, NOT MY PROBLEM! We have at least two document systems, endless network drives, Autodesk Vaults and so on and so on, and if they save it somewhere starting with C:\, I'm wouldn't even pissing on it with a stolen dick, because they would say "You were the one who touched it last, you have to get it back"
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Sep 3, 2015 15:12
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A trip to Manila came in, to tighten up the L1 techs. If I survive the 22hr plane ride, I'll send the rest of you a thought from the bar.
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Sep 7, 2015 14:09
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Crowley posted:Please tell me it's not monkey class. Monkey Comfort class, so it's like 2cm of extra legroom and my seat reclines 1 degree extra.
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Sep 8, 2015 07:13
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Crowley posted:eh, it's better than nothing. Remember to buy an "airplane-to-standard" converter for your Tablet/Laptop charger before you board. Or buy one from your standard vendor I guess. I'm carrying an iPad Air, a Latitude E6430 with d-bay battery, my iPhone loaded with podcasts and my Zune HD (gently caress yeah), so I'm ready to zombietrance out.
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Sep 8, 2015 10:52
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larchesdanrew posted:See you all Tuesday! A good post.
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Sep 14, 2015 03:30
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 I feel your pain, brother.
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Oct 23, 2015 09:26
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 Somewhere, the worlds tiniest violin is playing. Edit: Yes, I know every single way to recover unsaved documents from a Word crash. All that does is teach users that they don't have to save their work, because the IT monkeys will fix it for them. Save your work.
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Oct 30, 2015 09:20
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A finance director at our company came in with his personal $300 special laptop and said "fix this for me", and I said "sure, $40 an hour". I now have $280 on my way, which will come in handy after I get laid off.
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Nov 11, 2015 10:02
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 How in the gently caress do you 1) bend your phone 2) without breaking the glass??
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Dec 8, 2015 09:15
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Yeah, Bendgate was about the iPhone 6. This is an iPhone 5S, which is a pretty chunky piece of metal.
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Dec 8, 2015 11:02
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GreenNight posted:Good luck. We got six. After a year 3 of them have dead wifi chips. Since it's past a year, no warranty so they can't be fixed. Always get extended warranties and accidental damage insurance on executive toys. In that way, when they inevitably break, the executive will OK the cost for purchasing a new one, and you don't need to tell anyone that you are keeping the warranty replacement.
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Dec 14, 2015 14:35
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Found a perfectly good Latitude E6410 in the electronics recycling. Not a scratch on it, looks like it's been sitting in a docking station all its life. It's not from our company, so hello free laptop I guess.
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Dec 16, 2015 12:01
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I don't know what I did to please Electronic Recycling Santa, but when I check the bin at work today I find a pristine Latitude E6520 with quad i7, Nvidia, full HD, SSD and 8 GB RAM, plus I pulled another SSD from an old Precision tower someone had thrown out. Seriously, the laptop does not even have a scratch on it! I don't know who's throwing these out, but I'm thankful.
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Jan 4, 2016 11:23
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Turtlicious posted:Man I need to become a consultant, I can do that, and I can unplug things. (Plugging back in depends on average going rates.) The whole company moved into a brand new building this week. The consultants desks already look like they have been occupied by shitlords for three years, and they are leaving out leftover food. They are probably charging around $200 per hour.
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Feb 3, 2016 11:28
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SEKCobra posted:I was asked by colleagues to rig our (fairly incompetent) Tier 1 tech's PC to shut down after 2 minutes logged on. Are you going to yell at him for the tickets he doesn't solve while working on fixing his PC?
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Apr 11, 2016 10:52
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pixaal posted:Last night Colorfinger was singing for the internet and his wife dAPER sung this for us. I am glad I lived to see this.
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Apr 18, 2016 06:52
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LethalGeek posted:"How do I make my home PC not update to Windows 10?" Send them a LMGTFY.
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Jun 3, 2016 15:11
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KoRMaK posted:Look, when I take chicks to my bedroom I want them to ask questions about my rig "So what do you do?" "I study computer science at college" "I figured that, since the side of your computer case was open" Actual pillow talk from one of the very few one night stands I managed to have in college.
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Jun 27, 2016 07:20
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Throw away your loving filthy keyboards! A new business keyboard and mouse from Dell or HP is like $10, and you can buy them by the crate. Is it worth $10 of your companys money to not have yourself or your users sit and dig their fingers into other peoples poo poo, spit, snot, nail crud, dead skin and general biological waste? I always cut the USB cables and threw out cruddy keyboard and mice that didn't get clean by just wiping with a microfiber cloth. Laptops I got in for servicing were disassembled and had their fans and insides cleaned with compressed air, and the keyboard, LCD and external chassis were cleaned isopropyl, 3M citrus goo-b-gone and a microfiber cloth before they were returned to the user.
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Jul 28, 2016 07:18
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Chickenwalker posted:Hahaha $10 keyboards. Throw them out. Good one. So clean them before handing them to a new user. Edit: Strike that. Users are loving pigs. They wouldn't know the difference if you did, and you're not paid to clean. evobatman fucked around with this message at 08:43 on Jul 28, 2016 |
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Jul 28, 2016 08:39
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Win+D Win+L Because you never know who will be looking over your shoulder when you unlock your computer.
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Aug 8, 2016 07:28
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iajanus posted:Most businesses are really badly let down by the management tools. 
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Aug 11, 2016 07:39
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Quantum Milkman posted:It means they're connected via wifi, right? It's nothing personal, but you must die.
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Dec 28, 2016 10:09
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Geemer posted:You put floppies in your floppy drive. You put tapes in your tape drive. You put So where do I put my film vinyl? 
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Jul 14, 2017 07:14
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Bigass Moth posted:Anyone ever actually used a Kensington Lock? At a previous job, if you didn't lock your laptop to your desk and the security team saw that it sat there unattended while you were away, they would just grab it. You then had to go and explain to them why you hadn't locked it down and how you would never do it again. I've tried getting traction to implement this at my other jobs, but for some reason nobody wants to do it.
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Aug 1, 2017 07:12
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 14:38 |
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Japanese Dating Sim posted:"I need help changing my font to larger. Please help!" They have defined what they need, they actually ask for the concept of "help", and they say "Please". Even if it's technically dirt simple, it's better than the kind of poo poo 85% of users do. "Why the gently caress are these fonts so small? It's not meant to be used by normal people, only you glasses wearing computer gently caress geeks! What do you mean I can change it myself? I'm not a loving nerd! You! Do it for me!"
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Aug 11, 2017 09:18
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