RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Pyroclastic posted:

My task for the summer is imaging. I've imaged a half-dozen mobile labs and dozens of teacher laptops at the tech center, but now I get to go out to schools and image stationary labs.

One lab is out in a portable the furthest away from the main school building. It's wired into an 'IDF' (a 24-port 100 meg switch in the PE office), which goes back to the site's main MDF...probably at or exceeding maximum length. It has precisely one functional wire, probably near maximum length, probably over 15 years old, and only rated at 10mbit.
It took me 7 hours to image 8 computers and install the extra ~1.5 gigs of software on them. 22 to go. The labs in other buildings should go better, but still.

Our goal for the summer was to image every computer in the district in situ. Multicasting isn't functional and our first attempt ended in 3 people imaging maybe 10 computers in a day. The goal was abandoned and now we're just concentrating on labs.

And the 'bench tech' who set up our whole SCCM deployment system put in his two weeks halfway into the summer since he got an offer for a help desk manager position with a huge pay boost in a larger neighboring district.

I am asking because I have no idea.

Wouldn't it be easier to set up one of the computers as a server to fetch the image and software from, then image all the computers from that? Then you could carry the single computer/server to a reliable point and set it up there.

Also, that single wire cable, that would then run half-duplex, right? So no transmitting and receiving at the same time, packet loss and delays due to collision? Slowly reading up on CCENT, barely started, but I would assume that would happen.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2014 08:57

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 02:05

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Malek posted:

So your porn file is a peta-file?

Cyberporn?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2014 15:36

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

If a lot of the trouble is outdated java and stuff, I would recommend the ninite updater. 30 USD a year for 5 computers, 10 bux for a single. https://ninite.com/updater/

Java is required for online banking (were, can use your cell now), and java updates was far above my mother in laws skills. After I got ninite updater, I haven't had a complaint. Because she bought an ipad, and wife works with those daily, and can deal with it.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2014 17:30

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Baconroll posted:

You just know organisations will continue to mandate degaussing for storage even when its SSDs.

Last time I disposed of some personal disks I just gave them a few good whacks with a hammer, snapped off the circuit board, and covered the remainder with used lard.

If you go to the trouble of recovering that disk then I think you deserve what it contains (Windows 95 and doom 2 I think).

Now, how would you secure delete a SSD with the same security as degaussing a HDD? Can you trust software solutions? Or do the NAND wipe completely if they loose all their charge, requiring you to wait two years or so for it to discharge? How about 230/110V across the circuit board? Curious here.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2014 08:34

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

organburner posted:

Also, we're supposed to keep customer on the line throughout the whole process of ordering service for them for some insane reason. I can get all the information I need to send service in about 5 minutes (80% ofthe time at least), ordering the service can take 10-20 minutes after that.
How pissed off would you be when you're calling just to order a new hdd when you know it's dead because you've tested it in 5 different computers and it doesn't get detected and you give someone all the info they need and then you have to sit and wait for 10 minutes because ???

Think I might go back to school.

Last time I spoke with Dell about a DOA monitor, I felt he was really slow. I started out explaining I had tried several computers, several vga cables and a displayport cable, 100% sure it is the screen, as everything else works. When he ask me to try another cable, I start to wonder if he is incompetent or what. Then when he out of nowhere ask me if I am satisfied with the support I get and if I have any other Dell products I might need help with, before I have even given him my address, I ask if he is on a script. He confirms, and I feel so sorry for him. Must be humiliating having to do what he did. Phonecall lasted 30 minutes, with half of it noone saying anything.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2014 22:03

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Bitesize posted:

We are getting Lync now, but the old solution was Sametime, so I'm not sure it could get any worse. As long as basic IM works, it's about even.
In case you don't know, Sametime is the IM solution in Lotus Notes. Which means we don't use Outlook, which means Lync bitches every time it starts about missing a mail application.

Because who the hell would run Lync and Notes at the same time?

Managers that get kickbacks?

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 11:01

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

RFC2324 posted:

Who the hell opens a ticket, and then leaves the country for a month?

Ticket update: Unable to locate user, emergency services alerted. Waiting for user to reappear.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2014 12:31

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Well... This is something. I thought you were supposed to code your thing so this didn't happen?

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 14:44

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Edit:
I'm phone posting, does the formatting above look right?

Not at all, but I assume that is the intention.

Had a couple of those as well, typing the same thing twice is hard you know.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2015 21:26

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

larchesdanrew posted:

I'll keep the beer for myself then because apparently I'm going to need it.

In the time I was given the list of files to the time the script ran, which was about 4 hours, two departments added about 50 commercials without telling me. Guess what files weren't on the list? Guess what the script did to them?

Now I'm getting poo poo all over by management for deleting their files, never mind the fact that these people apparently couldn't manage hold on to a backup copy of these files for a few loving hours. They stuck them in the folder I was working in and then deleted them off their computers.

Seriously, I cut the time required by, like, 80% by using that script. How badly hosed were they gonna be when it took me two days to do it manually and they lost two days worth of poo poo versus just a few hours?

Did you ever get a list of the new poo poo they put in? Were you about to get it? Because if not, you would still have deleted those files manually, since noone told you about it. The blame really is not on you here, but the morons that added those files.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 06:04

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

blackswordca posted:

So a layoff came in.

The big client I support just filed for bankruptcy protection. Got a call from my big boss while starting to get ready to move. I have one more week of work then I'm done.

I'm so sorry, I still remember all the hard times you had before. Please find somewhere good, don't go back to where you were before. And I'm sure you have stories, you must know why they are going bankrupt. I assume incompetence is part of it.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2015 09:15

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Migishu posted:

"HEY I'M SOME RANDOM DUDE WHO YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO BEFORE AND CAN I SHARE SCREEN WITH YOU TO SHOW YOU THIS PROBLEM THAT I NEED YOU TO FIX??!?!??!?!?!?!?"

Is it bad for me to be ignoring these problems? I'm not part of the main Helpdesk.

Accept and use arrangebypenis.exe

Ask if that fixed it. If they say no, then excuse yourself and refer to the Helpdesk. They won't call you again.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2015 17:14

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Mo_Steel posted:

What's up Windows 2000 buddy? Ran into one the other day myself. The System Properties boasted 261,596 KB of RAM!

That means a 512MB stick has degraded to almost half? Is that as bad as it sounds like?

# ¿ May 9, 2015 10:24

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Sormus posted:

No, its that the computer has only 256mb of ram. Which is even worse, because its on purpose.

Ah, ok. Not good at that whole MB -> kb conversion thing, so I just assumed it was supposed to be more then 256mb. Cheers.

# ¿ May 9, 2015 16:44

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

anthonypants posted:

Oh my god he left a voicemail too

Are you sure it's a good idea to post a customers voice mail on a online comedy forum? Might come back and bit you hard. Also, I can't get tindeck to work on ipad, so no idea if it's the real thing.

There must be someone you can notify. Who is the one paying the bill for his service? I'm sure that person is thrilled to see how his/her money is spent.

# ¿ May 31, 2015 17:23

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

anthonypants posted:

If it were against the forums rules to nonconsensually post a third party's last four digits of their dog, or their mother's maiden credit card number, I think someone would have let me know by now.

I was thinking job security, not forum rules.

Don't want to see anyone loosing their job because they entertain people.

Close the ticket with a number to some sort of psyc help...

# ¿ Jun 1, 2015 06:52

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Crowley posted:

A computer came in from a student.

What did the student say happened? per guess. Winner takes all.

Dog ate it.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 10:35

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

blackswordca posted:

So a phone call came in..

Was at home yesterday when an old manager called me up. He's at a new company and is looking for a t2. Have an interview this morning

I take it this is one of the good managers, not the crazy ones?

Good luck!

# ¿ Jun 25, 2015 18:17

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

go3 posted:

Maybe its different in Europe but in the US 'throw iPads/laptops at it' is the go to feel good solution for our collapsing education system.

Where I live, the schools have been forbidden to buy more ipads, since the it systems can't handle it or something. Not sure where the bottle neck is or how they are managed/set up, so no details.

Article, use google translate for a semi-decent translation: http://www.budstikka.no/nyheter/nyheter/nekter-innkjop-av-ipad/s/2-2.310-1.8660674 Norwegian, in case Google can't figure it out.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2015 16:50

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Crowley posted:

Dude, if I told my former coworkers about you and linked this thread you'd get an instant interview. That place is all about doing things right they'd be willing to fly you over just to take a look at you. It's not a shitshow everywhere.

They are over here, but it's very common to move from one to another, especially if you have a reputation for being good at your job.

Any news on the school situation?

# ¿ Sep 4, 2015 10:31

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

larchesdanrew posted:

Yeah, this is my going rate for onsite work.

For those wondering about the fallout, I've got plenty of friends still there that will give me updates, so the stories will still be flowing fast and furious, trust me.

For all the poo poo you have been through and how they have been treating you, how can you set your price that low? $300/hr should be minimum. gently caress em, they didn't even try to make things good for you. $300 per hour, 3 hour minimum, travel time is paid time. And you get 30 minute paid lunch break if it takes 5 hours or more. Round up to nearest hour, never down.

Ask yourself, do you really want to go back there?

# ¿ Nov 21, 2015 20:51

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

What's going on here?

The serious answer is that claiming passwords just show up as stars is a common scam, at least in online games. They make the target believe it is true and have them write their password, then you copy the thing back and change it to stars to keep them satisfied while you change all their account info, or steal their stuff.

It was common enough in Runescape that they actually added a filter to stop you from typing your password. But instead of starring it, the message just won't go through and you get a message. At least back when I played it.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2016 16:05

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

AlexDeGruven posted:

Seriously, wtf is wrong with people?

I contemplated replying to his text at 4:30am, which is when I normally get up in the morning, but decided to take the high-road.

Call him at 4:30 am and ask if he received the e-mail you just sent (send the same one you already did), and then proceed to read it out loud for him.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 17:35

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

The Fool posted:

I'm now imagining a toner explosion happening on board the Red October.

Or a laser printer doing a clean or calibration during silent running. Imagine sitting on the sonar, trying to locate a sub, only to be blasted with printer screams. I would run away...

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 23:37

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Jeoh posted:

If I see someone's desktop unlocked, I open notepad and tell them to lock it next time. Then I lock it

So you are telling us you don't go and replace the SATA cables with bad ones, then laugh while they don't understand?

But seriously, demanding someone to bring doughnuts or cake in because they forgot to lock their computer, or else they will be reprimanded. Isn't that technically corruption?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2017 18:30

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Also, with the power being out, the toilet is clogged. Can you fix that while you are over here anyway to fix the toaster?

Thanks.

I won't be available though, but I'll say that I'll leave the door unlocked, when in reality, I will lock it and complain nothing is fixed.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 22:18

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

Sirotan posted:

Hi Thanks Ants,

Please see attached the information you requested.

Thants,

Sirotan

Can you please post this as a .doc file? I can't open the one you posted.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 22:27

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 02:05

Dunno-Lars: Apr 7, 2011

kensei posted:

Do we have a success story for the new OP? Anyone want anything in particular included besides a link to this one?

The last few pages.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2017 12:52

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?