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The Macaroni posted:My boss got back from vacation and said, "You did a great job handling the chaos last week. Heard a lot of compliments about your patience and customer service. Good work." Wasn't expecting that. Wait, what? You received a kudos from a boss for a job well done? What you are saying makes no sense. 
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Aug 19, 2013 18:28
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Crowley posted:Every time I see the acronym I think "Motherfucking Printer". Good. I'm glad I am not the only one that does this.
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Aug 21, 2013 19:01
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tehloki posted:I can't endorse this enough. I made the mistake in my first week at this job of letting somebody pick their own model of laptop, and they chose one of HP's $1500+ rounded-corners consumer grade "Envy" laptops. It's been punted around his department as a spare laptop forever because it's got the performance of a $200 refurbished 5-year-old laptop and the aesthetics/ergonomics of a smashed boulder. Echoing this. For work, everyone gets Dell/IBM(Lenovo)/HP. Buy your own DIY whitebox special snowflake on your own time, not mine. I've been burned so often by C-level types bringing in "I went out and bought this on my own to save you time" laptops it isn't even funny. My favorite was when the CEO brought in some bullshit tablet with Windows Vista Home Basic installed on it and told me to "get it on the network" and install office on it. And by the way, it runs slow so can you speed it up? Yeah no. I had to diplomatically tell him that Atom processors are for browsing the internet, not launching Visio and I would never, ever be able to get it to join our domain. He then asked me to install Windows 7 on it, but it didn't have driver support so that idea barfed. After spending three days on this turd I gave it back to him with a half-working Windows 7 install on it and told him to return it. I then gave him one of our stock laptops with the corporate image and he was happy as a clam.
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Aug 21, 2013 21:53
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tehloki posted:FYI the microsoft update website still works for forcing updates in situations like this, cause it runs in an internet explorer window. All of my 2003 servers had a shortcut on my desktop to that link, because gently caress using that shield-thing. And gently caress WUS on 2003 too, while we are at it. And gently caress having to have a patch party once a month to update 400+ 2003 servers manually.
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Aug 21, 2013 22:11
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My Work Email posted:3. Relaxation of Tie rule: ...aaaand don't forget. Friday is Hawaiian shirt day!  
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Aug 22, 2013 17:44
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I got laid off my last gig, and I landed here after they offered me a 23% raise. On the surface it seemed like an awesome opportunity as they were putting together a team to do a multimillion dollar infrastructure overhaul with me as the team lead. But then after they hired me, the gig fell through and now I've basically been adrift in this massive bureaucracy for months. Every day I feel a little bit more of my soul and free will die. </EN> This is basically a paycheck until the wife and I can figure out our collective next move, so I guess I can put up with it for a few months, but holy poo poo. I realize that jeans and a T-shirt as the uniform of the day and working for a smaller, dynamic organization is an absolute requirement for my professional happiness. My last gig had me My then-boss was a moron, but he left me alone and trusted me to get my work done. It was a pretty sweet situation in hindsight.
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Aug 22, 2013 18:13
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Dilbert As gently caress posted:But for actual content, Why do people feel the need to over complicate network designs? I still have no idea of why people shove or reconfigure things making stuff way more complex than needed. A little knowledge can be a bad thing. I was once on a site that had six VLANs configured on their switch. For an office of ten people. Nevermind feeling the need to have a managed L3 48-port switch in the office in the first place. For I think it was fifteen devices or so. I think some consultant guy came in and spent some cash, gave them a mongo bill for services rendered and left. They had vlans set up for: 1. Corporate Servers (three servers: 1 DC, 1 File server, 1 utility server) 2. Wireless (maybe a half-dozen laptops and a few BYOD) 3. Guest Wireless (maybe one guest per week) 4. Printers (one network printer) 5. Workstations (I think six or seven) 6. Development Environment (nothing) I can see having a guest wireless vlan, but none of the vlans were segregated in any way. The switch had no ACLs configured so one IP address was as good as another. I proposed using a single class C subnet and putting all static devices (all four of them. well, five including the router.) below .100 and making a DCHP range of .101-.200 to simplify things. The response? "No. This way is better so that when we grow we'll have the infrastructure in place." Yes, but if you grow to a point when you have 70+ DHCP addresses in use and/or a hundred static devices, you will have outgrown this office space and will have had to move to a new building (with its ensuing network changes) anyways. I don't even Agrikk fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Aug 22, 2013 |
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Aug 22, 2013 19:43
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psydude posted:Making your network design simple is important if for no other reason than 95% of people are retarded and will break it within 30 seconds of touching it. And the last 5% will jack it up when it's 4am and they're so tired they can't think straight.
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Aug 22, 2013 19:49
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KweezNArt posted:Maybe we ought to do a "Telecommuters" megathread? Or is there one already? Only if you want everyone else to cry. Maybe it's too much sharing, but I had a lucky pair of boxers that I wore (and no pants) during my releases. I am a superstitions fucker. Speaking of superstition, two of the most annoying things someone can say to me during a release is "How much longer?" and "How is it going?" To name it is to destroy it, rear end in a top hat! If I answer "soon" or "fine" it will shortly be neither of those things. And Lum: Pics or it didn't happen.  :letch:
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Aug 22, 2013 20:27
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TWBalls posted:(otherwise you gotta put on a bunny suit, cap and face mask in order to go into the room and fix it). I can just see you walking into a L&D OR: The women is up on the table, feet in stirrups and sees you walk in. "You aren't my regular doctor." "No ma'am. I'm IT. This laptop over in the corner can't print and it's of CRITICAL IMPORTANCE and it's AFFECTING PRODUCTION so I have to take care of it now. I hope you don't mind while I download windows updates...?"
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Aug 26, 2013 21:58
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Volmarias posted:T-Mobile is almost this bad. You need to tell the nice robot lady who you need to talk to today. She'll give you two tries, and if she doesn't understand you after the second try for any level, she'll say "Sorry, I'm afraid I couldn't understand you. Goodbye!" AND DISCONNECTS THE CALL. T-Moble's IVR is also set up call you back on your contract's alternate phone number in 30 minutes saying, "Phone broken? We have specials when you extend your contract!"
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Aug 26, 2013 23:35
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poo poo that pisses me off: Dirty monitors. I'm working on a Visio diagram and I move a group of images from here to there on my screen, except one little hyphen that stays behind. I can't select it, whether I use the mouse to grab the area or control-A to select all. I've gone through all the layers of my document but it still sticks there. After what seems like hours of frustration (two minutes ish) I realize it's a bit of cardboard fiber stuck to my screen.  That kind of a day.
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Aug 27, 2013 18:08
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couldcareless posted:I feel like the person at fault here probably went and visited some super trendy architect or engineering firm and saw how "modern" it looked with lines running up pillars to the ceiling or something. Power poles have to be the most horrid invention ever. But I still can't decide which is worse in terms of esthetics: raceway or power poles.
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Aug 27, 2013 20:23
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"but now there's no tripping hazard!"
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Alereon posted:No but seriously I like xkcd and I don't get all the hate. It has artistry, it's just not pretty. Time is certainly something, even if it's not a thing for you. Thanks for this. I just spent the last while watching it through this viewer and it was pretty cool. I've always liked his simplistic drawings that are somehow compelling when they tell a bigger story...
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Aug 28, 2013 20:39
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fivre posted:"can u give me a call 555-555-5555 we are about to start the push" You should never push. It causes hemorrhoids. Instead a gentle rocking motion back and forth while sitting on the toilet can loosen the impacted stool. e;f;b
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Aug 28, 2013 22:26
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coyo7e posted:I don't get why firefighters would need a lot of IT equipment, though. Not like you can mount that poo poo to your chest and run around a burning building with it. Gotta be able to play Angry Birds as Rome burns... edit for content: A manager poked his head into a meeting where we were discussing some failover scenarios of an application environment. In this particular case we were talking about a pair of NAS devices primarynas and secondarynas set up so that primarynas is read/writable and replicates to secondarynas which is read-only. Without knowing anything about this nas pair other than what I mentioned above, I proposed a solution where \\primarynas\share was mapped to X: and during an outage a script would automatically execute as local service containing: code:So he got pissed because he had to refer to a NAS share as X: instead of \\nasname because he saw my scribbles on a white board during a brainstorming session. Goddammit I hate it when managers come behind the curtain of the great and powerful Oz. If we gave him a solution that said, "Here's the X: drive. It'll always be up" I bet this would be a non issue. Instead he's getting all pissed off at a half-thought-out solution to a problem he barely understands while tossing out "CLOUDCLOUDCLUD!" Agrikk fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Aug 28, 2013 |
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Aug 28, 2013 23:29
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pixaal posted:My favorite is our exchange server was set to allow up to 1TB attachments, we set it to 10MB, but apparently sometimes police need to send large things so its at 300MB now. First thing I thought of when you mentioned 1TB attachments: 
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Aug 29, 2013 00:46
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th guy hr, PFA the ndfl doc. lts rvw lr. tx code:edit: whoops! thread moves fast! Agrikk fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Aug 29, 2013 |
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Aug 29, 2013 22:07
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Volmarias posted:Every ticket must be in the form of a haiku. home backups too long add second LTO drive holy crap! It's done? poo poo not pissing me off: Just upgraded my backup server from my venerable Dell PowerVault 110T LTO-2 tape unit to a PV 114T with a pair of LTO-3 drives. Stuck a blank tape in both and came back five hours later and the job with verify was done. It's the little things these days...
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Sep 3, 2013 21:59
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namol posted:Lto3, stepping up to the early 2000s! We're fortunate enough to have 5 LTO5 drives but we never compress crap because hp data protector is absolute crap and slowly kills me everyday. Hah. Forgot to mention that this was for my home, not for anything work related. I'd love to have LTO5 in my house, but who has the scratch for that? Compression? Hah. The majority of my data is software ISOs, movies and music, none of which compresses for poo poo.
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Sep 4, 2013 21:20
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deimos posted:It's one of those "email fails to send further than 500 miles" kinda issues that until you see it (and haven't experienced/read about it before) you can't believe it. This reminds me of an issue I had at one of my sites a loooong time ago: We had a server closet that was basically a pile of network gear, a UPS and a (NetWare 4, god help me)server sitting in a (not so) converted storage closet. Randomly, once every few weeks, all of the devices would mysteriously reboot. Shortly we realized that the UPS' batteries were dead, and that a power outage event was causing all the gear to power down. So we replaced the batteries and the issue went away, but I still wanted to know why the original power event was happening. After months of struggling, collecting data points and performing various tests we established that the outage occurred only during business hours, and would occur roughly every three weeks with a range of one to four weeks between outages. To make a long horribly frustrating story short, it turns out that a bracket supporting a power cable that ran over the top of the freight elevator shaft had come loose and a loop of cable was drooping into the shaft. When the elevator rose to the top floor ,the top of the elevator cage would gently push up the loop of cable relieving it of its tension. Over time, the application and release of tension on the cable caused an endpoint to fray so when the elevator pushed up on the cable there was a momentary short dropping power to the circuit. It turns out that the top floor of the building was storage for the building and was seldom used, except for when the janitor ran out of supplies every few weeks. He would then take the elevator to the top floor of the building, shorting out the circuit, and retrieve his supplies for the next couple of weeks. The janitor, the two electricians, the facilities guy and I went out for drinks that night when we finally discovered the issue. We all felt like we accomplished some serious detective work (and gave the electricians and the facilities guy a ton of poo poo for running an unsafe building). I mean, figuring the event happened maybe 15-18 times a year, it must have taken years for the wire to work loose like that. Good times.
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Sep 5, 2013 18:28
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poo poo pissing me off: loving conference calls on speaker phones that last hours. Bonus when two people in the same room must be on the same call from their own hotel space instead of just, you know, sitting next to each other. Reverb! Add that wonderful ambiance to the incessant hissing of the HVAC grille over my head and the burn of office lighting in my windowless storage-cum-consultant-hotel-space and I'm ready to smash things. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my old lovely job. It was soooooo cushy...
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Sep 6, 2013 00:04
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Dilbert As gently caress posted:gently caress Tapes... I must be a strange one, but I find tape appealing. When I'm running a backup at home from my file server to the LTO drives on my backup server, I get a vague sense of serenity watching my GigE link utilization hover around 95-97% as hundreds of thousands of files are backed up nice and tidy to three little blue-grey cartridges. I drop them off at my parents' house 45 minutes away wrapped up snug in their ammo can and feel mostly confident that I very likely have tertiary data set stored offsite that will recover properly. Maybe. But Symantec BackupExec at work backing up a mere sixty vmdks to disk with a tape rotation added? gently caress backups hard with an unlubed donkey dick.
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Sep 6, 2013 18:16
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GreenNight posted:Win 8.1 upgrade is due out soon - when that hits, just right click the Start button and it's the same as winkey + x. That's going to be handy as gently caress for end users. Now if they could only do something about shutting down a 2012 server. Hot corner -> settings -> power -> shutdown -> scheduled shutdown sure gets tedious.
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Sep 6, 2013 21:00
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command line people posted:Various ways to shut down Server 2012 from the command line. Yes, hitting the Win button to call up the menu thingy, typing "cmd"+enter to launch a command prompt and then typing in a command is much faster than clicking Start - Shutdown. But to be fair, I have server 2012 running on my laptop so I'm shutting down the server far more often than I would probably be doing in production. Still...
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Sep 6, 2013 23:08
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couldcareless posted:Doing cleanup and organizing things for next guy is a pain in the rear end. Do not do this. There isn't enough time to do it properly so whatever you do will be incomplete and the next guy will be mocking your work regardless of what you do, so meh. Instead you need to be kicking back, saying your goodbyes and "making yourself available as a resource" for people who will be transitioning your workload for you. You have 2.5 days left. You should be doing nothing that could even be remotely considered "a pain in the rear end". edit in light of the ending of current jobs: I think I might have posted this already, but in February when I got notice that we were all getting laid off because we'd been bought, my new manager, knowing that I had two weeks left, called me up to tell me that I needed to come in on a Saturday to wrap up a few things. The next words out of my mouth were literally, "Go gently caress yourself." I'd responded reflexively and with rancor and it was the most amazing feeling I've ever had in the workplace. I consider that bridge well and truly burned and I wouldn't change a thing. Obviously, you are leaving on a good note so please don't do anything like this, but I (still) feel so good about telling my fuckwit manager to go gently caress himself that I had to tell the story again. Agrikk fucked around with this message at 19:18 on Sep 11, 2013 |
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Sep 11, 2013 19:11
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nitrogen posted:My boss, the thing that has made working for this huge company fun and tolerable is quitting. I bet you look really funny with no eyebrows.
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Sep 11, 2013 20:14
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Zamboni Apocalypse posted:A ticket went out... and never came back. I had the same thing happen once. Zillions spent on a customized remedy solution that management said we must use. We all goofed around on it so much (filing tickets to each other to go to the bathroom, "Grab me some fries, will you?", etc) that any meaningful data was buried under garbage. Then the novelty wore off and Remedy faded away, fully functioning, into the netherworld of abandoned projects.
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Sep 11, 2013 23:42
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teethgrinder posted:I find working fun with drinking. The novelty of it is definitely part of it. If it was a regular thing, that would be alcoholism territory. My last two jobs were totally fine with drinking while working. Countless times a few of us went out for lunch with the VP of IT and gotten hammer drunk on reposado to come back in around 2 to spend the rest of the day reeking of tequila. Or drinking mud slides with the Director of IT at lunch in the break room and rounding out the day with vodka martinis made from the Russian Standard in the freezer. Let's just say that Don Draper and Roger Sterling had nothing on us. Countless times people would get back into the office and find dark corners (or the lactation station, beanbag meeting room, under the foosball table) to pass out until close of business. Strangely enough, both companies got bought out from under us and everyone in IT fired. I have no idea why...
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Sep 12, 2013 23:27
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Gweenz posted:
There we go.
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Sep 13, 2013 00:14
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FISHMANPET posted:I think my sole purpose here is to just know things and point out stupid stuff when I see it. That is absolutely goddamn right. Pushing a button: $5 Knowing what button to push: $500
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Sep 16, 2013 22:35
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Okay, I admit it: I reflexively dragged my mouse over the bar to see if I could clear the hung and process-terminated icons.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:17
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toe shoes posted:Found out that our HR manager is a fan of eugenics. It's not for particular races though, for sex offenders and the mentally challenged. So it's OK. She's a mother so it's only right to want to do this to protect her children. Wow. That's a big ol' turd to step over in your workplace. Sorry, sir, but your IQ is under the acceptible minimum of 100. *SNIP* *SNIP* Content: Found out today that our multimillion dollar data center modernization project with hundreds of VMs on dozens of ESXi hosts is based on vSphere installations using the SQL Express option. Agrikk: Hey. Searching for a VM is flaky and some hosts don't appear, nor do they appear in a sorted list. Burnt out colleague: Yeah. The SQL Express database has problems with sorting and VMs drop out of the list. Agrikk: So to find a VM you have to scroll the unsorted VM list? :colleague: Yep. All to save, what, a few thousand bucks for a couple instances of SQL Server? On a fifty million dollar project? gently caress yeah.
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Sep 18, 2013 21:50
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skipdogg posted:Hey I just learned in my VMware class that SQL Express is only a supported config for 5 hosts and 50 virtual machines or less. So my mind is blown right now. SQL isn't even that expensive. Less than the cost of 2CPU licenses of vSphere 5 Ent. Seriously. The cost of a SQL server license is a rounding error in the total cost of this project. Some loving mook probably NextNextNexted his way through the vSphere installation and called it a day and by the time it was discovered... welp. duz posted:You're being voluntold. Don't ever use that word again. That, "administrivia" and "administrate" should be banned from the lexicon. Orcs and Ostriches posted:Starting this summer I've been setting the passwords to: You, sir, are my new hero.
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Sep 18, 2013 23:19
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poo poo pissing me off: Acronyms and when I forget what they mean. Hello TLA and ETLA organizations*: When you have a web site talking about who the gently caress you are, for the love of Christ, put what your acronym means on the landing page of your site. Google "ITIL": The first hit is the ITILŪ Home whose brief description helpfully mentions IT Service Management (ITSM) but has no mention of ITIL. Site number two mentions ITIL in the descriptor but doesn't say what it is. Site number three: Only wikipedia gives the actual definition of ITIL. Thanks guys! Comedy: Site number four is ITIL.org that gives ITIL (IT Infrastructure Library) in its descriptor with the helpful: This site may be hacked  * TLA - Three letter acronym * ETLA - extended three letter acronym
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Sep 20, 2013 20:10
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Okay, so this poo poo has officially crossed into bullshit zone. I work for a consulting firm who is doing an extended length project on a customer site. I newly report to one of the customers managers while I help out with some server builds. Yesterday I was returning from lunch and I bumped into my actual manager from our consulting firm. He noticed that I had my gym bag over my shoulder since I was returning from the gym after trying out the concept of squeezing in a workout during my hour lunch break. He point blank told me that working out during my lunch break is a no-no and that he was very disappointed in me for "choosing this activity." What. The. gently caress. What I chose to do during my hour lunch break should be my own loving affair, right? As long as I'm not going over my hour (which in itself is bullshit, considering all of the overtime I won't be getting paid for - different rant), who gives a whit what I'm doing? Also: I'm in for the USB bottle opener.
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Sep 20, 2013 21:46
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baquerd posted:Perhaps you had an odor? Just saying Hah. Yeah I shower and use deodorant after my workout, thanks.
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Sep 20, 2013 21:59
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:I've done some contract work where my firm was expected to be a bunch of perfectly dressed robots that don't poop or drink coffee, it was ridiculous but I guess I see their "look we have to be perfect" image nonsense? This is absolutely it. This morning I had a 45 minute meeting with said manager about "my behavior yesterday" in which he basically modeled himself to me: No, [manager] I never see you wear "round collar" shirts. Yes, [manager] You always wear formal attire except on casual Fridays but you still wear collared shirts. Yes, [manager] it truly is silly that California is so lax and casual about business attire. Yes, [manager] it is amazing that you bathe every day and wash your hair every day and shave every day. (no poo poo. he actually was proud of this.) In this firm, everyone dresses and presents themselves like some kind of Gattaca drone. It is expected that I will get my administrative credentials within four weeks at which point I can start work. Until that time there is literally nothing I can do but make sure I am in the office for exactly 8 hours (+1 hour lunch) to the minute and look busy without actually doing anything. I'm basically in this gig until the missus and I figure out what the next move is in our life, but that time cannot come fast enough because this outfit is a loving joke.
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Sep 20, 2013 22:42
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skipdogg posted:A long time ago .local was a recommended way to set up a domain. Woah! I did not know this. Thanks for the tip. (One of those folks who use .local chiming in.) Once upon a time, proper AD configuration was mycorp.com, but then that caused DNS issues if you had an external web space called mycorp.com. Then it was mycorp.local but apparently that causes Lync issues and SSL won't be supported past 11/2015. Now apparently it's blahblah.company.com. I wonder what that will break and when it will break it?
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Sep 24, 2013 22:06
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diremonk posted:And does anyone have a recommendation for a book on SNMP? I probably should start learning something about it for my new position. I don't know about a book, but I'd suggest getting GetIf and turning on SNMP on your workstation or laptop and start collecting counter values, learning about MIB files and traps. Google is your friend here. For a relatively easy and well-documented monitoring system to play around with SNMP stats, check out MRTG on the web. Install ActivePerl and then download MRTG and read the docs and you'll be pretty solid on your SNMP skills. Going further into advanced stuff would be learning about trap management and writing your own MIBs. You can check out the free edition of PRTG. It's free forever, but is limited to ten sensors - but it's good enough to get you familiar with SNMP operations.
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Sep 25, 2013 00:11
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