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I work with little kids. One time I was watching a bunch of little boys jump around, making sure they didn't fall over and hurt themselves or whatever. Then their friend, a shy little guy around 3 years old, who'd been standing watching, piped up: "We can't jump around because then the anteaters will come with the police." Puzzled and thinking I misheard, I asked him what he meant. "They're like birds. They have long tongues and noses... They snuffle." And then off he went. Later I asked his mum about it. She told me that he'd seen anteaters at the zoo and been nervous of them, somehow he'd got convinced they worked with the police 
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Sep 30, 2013 23:57
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My youngest brother had an amazing selection of kidtalk when he was a toddler. When he wanted to take a poo poo he would say he wanted to "make a chicken". Caused some misunderstandings during arts-and-crafts sessions around eastertime. When asked where he wanted to go for the day, he would say "wahkee". No one knew what a wahkee was. Eventually my parents discovered that a wahkee was the automatic barrier in multistorey car parks.  For a while he called butter "cootikah". You just don't question it at that point. Then again by all accounts I had a few good ones when I was tiny. I called squirrels "doosh", ladybirds "beewish", swings "deedee". Helicopters were "agahgah". The ice cream truck became "ice cream man cream van". (first brother had that better: ice cream trucks were "IGGY!") Apparently once when I was around three I heard a flood warning siren and started talking about aeroplanes and bombs and going underground, but who knows how true that one is. I work with toddlers and was playing in a sandpit with one, there were a bunch of plastic plates and cups and other eating utensils lying around, so when she handed me a plate of sand I enthusiastically pretended to chow the gently caress down, as you do. Then I said, "Yummy! What is it?" "Sand  "
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Jan 6, 2014 22:22
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"My sister was trying to get the wops out of her socks and then the wops bit her." Wasp
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Feb 5, 2014 16:03
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3-year-old at work's favourite song used to be The Lion Sleeps Tonight. He's got a new favourite now, and trust me you haven't lived until you've heard a nasal little voice suddenly burst into MY ANACONDA DON'T
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Feb 3, 2015 18:14
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Sirocco posted:My wife found this mysterious list at my mother's house. ron?
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Aug 27, 2015 23:14
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I genuinely cannot stop laughing at 7 maofoy! 8 h maye ny!!! 9 ron?
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Aug 28, 2015 00:10
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I'd just found out I was losing my job, a much-loved position in a preschool, and after crying my eyes out for a while I went back to work with the kids. A 3-year-old boy gave me a funny look as I came back into the room. : Miss Apples, why is your face all red? : (grasping for an excuse) I got sunburned.: Did it hurt??: Yeah.: Were you very brave?Somehow made me feel better (& braver) about the whole situation...
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Oct 29, 2015 20:09
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Shayu posted:"You are fat." The other day one of the 3-year-olds I work with was sat next to me and started sniffing the air dramatically, I asked her what was up and she said, "I can smell something. Something smelly. It's you."
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Dec 19, 2015 17:59
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At circle time when the whole class was silent listening to the teacher: 4-year-old: My willy's all big but I wasn't sitting here playing with it. Was playing blocks with a different kid, aged 3, and he comes out with the following: L: Miss Apples, do you know who's in Darth Vader's suit? Me: I think it's Anakin Skywalker, right buddy? L: No! Me: No? Are you sure? L: It's not that. Me: Who is it then? L: David Prowse. 
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May 21, 2016 10:24
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I work in a preschool. Today I heard someone getting upset so went over to the sandpit to find out what was going on. Turned out that S (3) had been calling other kids "old fart" and had recruited a couple of the other boys into also calling one girl that. I took S aside to speak to him about kind words and asked him why he was saying that to the other kids. "When people drive slowly in front of our car we call them old fart."
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Mar 2, 2019 00:53
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One of the preschoolers I work with stroked my tattoo and said, "Did you do that by yourself?" Nope, I went to a shop and a man did it. I probably shouldn't do that by myself. "Like the hairdressers. I probably shouldn't do that by myself. "
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May 2, 2019 20:31
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At my preschool the kids have packed lunches. We supervise these lunches but occasionally the kids do have their backs to us. I wander around the room and I don't know what made me look twice at this kid, but he was looking... strange. Shifty. L, are you okay? L: Yes. What's up? L: Well... I put a bit of my sandwich up my nose. I take his hand and lead him away from the group. I get a tissue. You put your sandwich up your nose? L: Yes. Blow your nose please. He does so. The third time... a blob of snotty, bloody bread falls onto the floor at my feet. This is the kind of thing I take joy in telling the parent about. Yeah, he put some bread up his nose, so just keep an eye on it. (The last time a kid in my care put something somewhere, it was a stone into his ear and he had to get it removed at the hospital.)
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May 28, 2019 23:19
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Rollersnake posted:"The Farmer's Lament" as my wife is calling it: my 11 month-old has started repeating "E-I-E-I-O" when you sing Old MacDonald to him, and he does it even when he's crying and throwing a fit. I guess it doesn't really come across in text, but it's one of the funniest loving things I've ever heard. This song is the best, I stg. I make breakthroughs with the kids I work with who have English as an additional language and aren't really speaking yet with Old McDonald. It starts with them absently repeating EIEIO, then they're making the animal noises, then they're choosing animals to be up next... whoever invented this annoying-rear end song was a genius tbh. Not a thing a kid said, but one of my 2-year-olds who understands English but doesn't speak much yet... we were doing an alphabet jigsaw with all sorts of different animals for every letter, and I said to him, "where's the giraffe?" and he pointed to the giraffe. "Where's the frog" got it. "where's the whale" yup. "where's the alligator" yep. Really kiddo? You know "alligator" but won't say "hi"? Fair enough. Where's the quail? He looked all over the puzzle, frowned, then lifted up the whale piece and pointed to it. you'll go far, little guy
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Feb 2, 2020 23:21
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E.. I... E I... O...
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Cardiovorax posted:In his defense, I don't think I would recognize a quail even if was looking right at it. That was it, he knew every other animal from alligator to whale, and trust me we don't usually teach the difference between alligator and crocodile. The fact that he knew alligator was cool enough. The fact that he recognised that "whale" sounds like "quail" and told me so is even cooler. Kid owns.
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Feb 3, 2020 01:21
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Hanging out with one of my 3-year-old students M: Miss Apples why is your tummy so big? Me: (deep breath, about to talk about how all bodies are different, etc) M: (stroking my stomach) Why is it so lovely? ...
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Mar 15, 2020 02:03
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Deacon91 posted:He's almost 9 now and is the most timid little person, I don't think he has a punch in him. It's been well taught by his mother to be open minded about the differences of others but I guess we'll find out in a few years haha. It's also your job to teach your kid not to be a bigot, not just his mother's, so please don't expose him to bigots if you can help it 
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Apr 19, 2020 22:10
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Look, kids hear much more damaging poo poo than this. Yeah this is good advice! Even better advice would be don't hang around with people who throw around homophobic slurs in general conversation especially when directed to a 3 year old, but that's just me
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Apr 20, 2020 02:06
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A couple years ago I worked with a non-verbal 3-year-old who was juuuust starting to get some words, yes/no kind of thing, the most basic of basics, we celebrated every single one obviously but that didn't make it any less hilarious when I was sitting with him and he reached out both hands with the full finger-wiggling grab at my chest and yelled "BOOBIES". Literally the third word in his inventory. Used correctly. Great job, kiddo
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May 11, 2021 00:34
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I got to hang out for a while with a kid I taught 3 years ago, he's about to turn 7 and he hasn't changed a bit. He told me this amazing story about "we went on holiday to the Isle of Wight - my grandma kindly rented us a beach house. My daddy used to go there when he was little. And it turns out that the beach house that we went to? It was the same beach house that my daddy used to stay in!" He said it all with such gravitas, and this deep excitement about this incredible coincidence I asked him if he remembered coming to play at the preschool when he was little, and he said yes, so I asked him if anything was different to how he remembered. He furrowed his brow and said "well, there are a lot more toys out here than I expected." He finished up our conversation with "my mummy is in the last year of her thirties. Because she turns 40 in December." Mummy definitely appreciated that, great job kiddo.
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Sep 6, 2021 01:09
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"Daddy doesn't wike swimming. Daddy doesn't even fit in the bath."
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Sep 29, 2022 19:48
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 05:00 |
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What do you wanna be when you grow up? "A doctor!" What do you wanna be when you grow up? "A teacher!" And what do you wanna be when you grow up? "Santa!!"
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Jul 21, 2023 21:40
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