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Shoozy posted:Is that cat-hair or cath-air? The Albigensian heresy! 
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Nov 21, 2013 05:50
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I was knocked over by a tiny kid on a scooter yesterday. He was going right for my husband (6'3") and I shouted "Look out, sweetheart!" at him (the kid) and he switched course and headed right for me (5'9", I guess I looked like an easier target). I fell right over, it was loving hilarious and I could not stop laughing. This child was less than three feet tall, maybe 35 pounds. His mum made him apologize and I ruined the teaching moment because I was laughing so hard it was clear I wasn't upset.
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Apr 21, 2014 03:09
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A wise child. A correct child. 
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Mar 4, 2015 02:21
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Soulex posted:That's really young to start a hit list def neot
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Aug 28, 2015 01:11
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pookel posted:Me: Do you want me to find an adult book about astronomy, like a harder book, or a kids' book about space? Dorling Kindersley books are great because they have lots of facts AND pictures.
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Nov 8, 2015 18:31
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Astrofig posted:Do....do you frequently feed your children chlamydia? Maybe that child has a bad case of clementine.
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Feb 18, 2016 04:42
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I think he's pressuring you to get married, probably almost entirely so he will get to have cake.
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Jan 8, 2017 05:45
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That's pretty awesome, FletaMcGurn. Also very good English for high schoolers learning it as a foreign language, I'm impressed.
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Mar 27, 2017 19:23
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GWBBQ posted:A friend heard her 4 year old son fall out of bed in the middle of the night and lay there quietly expecting to have to get up when the crying started. Instead, from the other room she heard a muffled "oh, for gently caress's sake" and he climbed back into bed. I want that child to become President or Prime Minister or Chancellor of whatever country he lives in, because he is awesome as hell.
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Mar 31, 2017 03:43
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It's standard children's colloquial French ("faire dodo" or my favorite "métro/boulot/dodo").
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Jun 7, 2017 04:50
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Scarleteen.com is a good and inclusive sex education resource for teens!
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Jun 28, 2017 03:26
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Strudel Man posted:Do they commonly sing the national anthem at stage productions...? No, but maybe it's a thing in Missouri? I have a strong urge to shout "Play ball!" after hearing the national anthem, which makes Memorial Day ceremonies a little awkward.
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Jun 28, 2017 16:42
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I have some friends who are now teenagers and very cool, but when they were little they used to rate their injuries by the number of "owie stars" they warranted (per comic books, especially Tintin).
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Jul 26, 2017 03:28
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U-DO Burger posted:Daughter: "It would be funny if there was a penguin firefighter and a poop firefighter and they put out fires with their butts!!!" *laughs hysterically* I would never stop watching that show.
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Jul 26, 2017 06:48
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pookel posted:I might have been 7 but yeah, I did. I'd taught myself to read at 2 so that followed pretty naturally. (Can you tell I was looking at these in advance of my autism assessment today? Hyperlexia is apparently a thing in autistic girls especially.) What's up hyperlexia buddy? That's a really good poem. It scans, rhymes well, and builds to a climax. A+ for little pookel.
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Jul 26, 2017 16:28
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Mustard by the spoonful! No regrets.
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Oct 13, 2017 16:30
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My nephew did the opposite! He came in in his bat costume, and I went, "Eek! A bat!" and he said, "Don't worry, I'm a nice bat."
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Oct 16, 2017 22:06
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Tiggum posted:That's a good question. Does it cause the bellyache or cure it? That's the entire point of the song. It's a vicious circle.
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Nov 15, 2017 02:22
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Bertrand Hustle posted:This is why personal care items like toothbrushes, soap, shampoo, etc are called toiletries, right? Other way around. Toilet used to refer to the whole ritual of personal care (washing, combing hair, etc.) before actual toilets were invented.
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Nov 19, 2017 19:00
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Fantomah would have just turned him into a dick.
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Dec 1, 2017 16:16
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Taeke posted:Your son is destined to be a comedian. Let's not say things we can't take back 
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Dec 17, 2017 04:51
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Second grader's haiku today: Chuck Tingle fever is worldwide, yeah! 
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Feb 16, 2018 14:15
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U-DO Burger posted:Okay okay here we go. I think it's meant to be "this schoollllll" which is even better. I would put that on my refrigerator and never ever take it down.
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Feb 28, 2018 18:20
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All of my godchildren have had an "actually" phase, and it makes me want to buy them tiny fedoras.
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Sep 28, 2018 21:52
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I love it. Best story I've heard in weeks.
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Nov 13, 2018 18:55
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Cardiovorax posted:"WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!?" It’s not like cuntpunts are comfortable.
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Feb 8, 2019 16:08
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Alhazred posted:Sometimes it feels like at least 85% of my job consists of telling parents that their kids isn't abnormal. Surprise, this is also true of teaching college.
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Apr 11, 2019 00:37
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DemonDarkhorse posted:i asked my 6yo nephew where he went on his field trip  Elizabeth, New Jersey is a popular destination.
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Apr 15, 2019 19:49
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Okay, who else immediately Googled “shark cloaca” and then was slightly disappointed?
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May 14, 2019 15:40
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Cardiovorax posted:No, Fleta just has a talent for running into weird-rear end kids. Spanish, in this case, not Latin American. I think these kids would fight you for calling them Spanish instead of Catalan.
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May 22, 2019 15:44
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builds character posted:Purely for what it’s worth, I enjoy your stories a lot and I think everyone else does too. It’s the internet and out shouldn’t let some jackass ruin it for you. Or us. They got probated, everybody agrees it was a stupid troll and you should keep posting. 
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May 25, 2019 17:41
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Mamá G4 is best parent.
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Jun 15, 2019 18:00
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tribbledirigible posted:Tribble the Younger [exiting living room]: Dad, why are you listening to train noises? Good Vibrations? That always makes me think of trains.
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Jun 24, 2019 05:44
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The_White_Crane posted:"The Mad Arab, author of the Necronomicon, Ia, Ia, Shub Niggurath, the Goat with Ten Thousand Young!" she added, before vomitting black ooze and phasing through the gate in a suspiciously non-Euclidean manner.  , they grow up so fast
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Jun 25, 2019 17:01
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:Oh absolutely. He's 5 btw so this is literally Richard Pryor level to him. It made me laugh!
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Nov 3, 2019 23:38
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omnibobb posted:My daughter got some fake glasses and she goes "Daddy, now we are both big nerds who are bad at looking at things!" I love this thread and a lot of people here have great stories but yours always make me 
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Mar 17, 2020 04:38
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Why does it not surprise me that the Bruenigs’ child is also an exhausting Debate Club type?
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May 1, 2020 15:22
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omnibobb posted:I told my daughter that I was working on getting less fat. She says "Daddy, you're not fat, your thick." *thicc 
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Jun 12, 2020 02:28
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I saw this when it was broadcast. 
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Jul 2, 2020 23:55
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 22:35 |
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Beachcomber posted:
You can still call them that. Grape Nuts is neither grape nor nuts, yeah?
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Aug 8, 2020 04:53
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they're not bones.