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Probably autocorrected from dragging their feet
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Oct 17, 2015 13:11
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Visiting my parents this weekend, and my brother came by with his two sons (3 and 5). During dinner yesterday, my dad was joking around with the youngest who said: "Grandpa, you're talking cheese sandwiches", which is his current goto-word for nonsense (it's just one word in Danish: ostemadder). They got in a fight as two kids that age do sometimes, and the oldest came into the kitchen saying that his brother had started it. I tried to be all philosophical and told him that it doesn't matter who started it, what really matters is who ends it. His reply: "Yeah but he still started it though."
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Oct 18, 2015 01:44
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HellCopter posted:"Let the children name the dog" is why I had a poodle for 10 years named Mini-me. The corollary is letting the adults name the pets: "the big one", "the small one", and "the old one"
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Dec 20, 2015 03:06
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Kids misinterpret religious stuff all the time. As a child, I was taken to some christmas or easter thing in church and they had a youth pastor who showed these cartoony pictures of Jesus entering Nazareth with the palm leaves and the donkey & all that, and there's an apostle or someone watching from a tree. "Look at the monkey!" one of the kids yelled.
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Dec 31, 2015 03:34
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Couples years ago i was in a park, its a family thing everyone invited. so mhy nephews come to hang around, and theyre hilarious.
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Jan 24, 2016 05:25
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQm4RvuWBwI you were born in KC missouri to a girl who wasnt married
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Jan 24, 2016 05:26
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MisterBibs posted:Little kid running past the Deadpool stand:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7-TQdN40Dk irl My nephews are coming by tomorrow, gonna try and remember the funny poo poo they say. One time the oldest one (wanna say 3 at the time) was "shooting" me with "arrows" (ie just pointing at my leg and going "i shot you with an arrow") and i played along and we joked around and I asked what he was gonna do with all those arrows sticking into me? "I'm gonna make a dinner out of you!" Ok, but some of the arrows were in my eyes though! "I'm going to eat your eyes" then he made like claws and grabbed at my eyes and made chewing sounds. I can no longer see. Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 23:59 on Feb 12, 2016 |
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Feb 12, 2016 23:57
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A friend has a boy about a year or so old, and he and two adults were playing with animals and saying their names and stuff. So after they've gone through lion, elephant, etc, she says "what else can you find?" and he picks up one and says "Pee-poh!" So the adult friend says "no, there are no people here. Just animals." It was a hippo
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Mar 4, 2016 22:44
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flosofl posted:Of course you did. Anti-jokes that are told by little kids are hilarious. The best ones are when they transplant the punchline from a completely different joke, but with a modification, like instead of elephants it's bananas.
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Mar 5, 2016 14:32
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razorrozar posted:what has 3 eyes 6 legs and 2 noses It's not wrong 
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Mar 5, 2016 19:03
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http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5rg8i_i-m-old-gregg_fun
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Mar 12, 2016 05:33
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My brother and I were helping our nephews (sons of our third brother) build some legos, and  they were keeping count. Every time one of us got behind, they were like "Unca, your brother is better than you are!"
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Apr 16, 2016 05:15
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"Kid A" knows whats up. "Kid B" is a huge nerd. I am also.
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May 21, 2016 10:37
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bringmyfishback posted:I present to you the work of a student I will call "Rihanna": This is poetry
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Jun 16, 2016 12:07
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princecoo posted:Wait what? Airport is slang for boobs? Small boobs => flat as a runway => airport. Makes sense.
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Jun 19, 2016 15:52
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Liam (my 5 yr old nephew): How come Elias [his younger brother] gets to clean up all by himself? I wanna clean up too! Waaaaa I mentioned to my sister in law that she probably hadn't heard that sentence before, but she had indeed. Apparently it's a trick he does where he cleans up really badly and when told to stop, he complains. Pretty clever!
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Aug 7, 2016 00:46
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FreudianSlippers posted:Just came from a dinner with some of my girlfriends family and her aunt has a 7 year old kid that is a great comedian. Also, these are amazing. Especially the young/old one.
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Aug 7, 2016 00:47
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My 6 year old nephew beat me in chess yesterday, all the while pointing out flaws in my dumbass strategies  Edit: Same nephew who last year ran into the living room without pants singing "butt butt butt" while shaking his butt.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:42
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Nephew telling riddles: How much water can ice have in its mouth? - Everyone guesses wrong - Nephew: Enough that it explodes! His older brother, in a learned tone: Ice can't explode unless you put a bomb in it.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:42
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Tsunemori posted:Friend's son Haha fantastic answers!
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Dec 27, 2016 01:31
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Mom, i looked up the word FART in the dictionary. It says "unpleasant wind coming from the anus"!
Wow, you know how to look up words in the dictionary now?
(smile disappears) I looked up... BUTT. 
(looks down)
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Walked on a bluff along the beach with my parents yesterday & we saw some hanggliders. Another family with a ~2 year old kid were coming from the other direction & stopped to look at the gliders. Kid to the nearest hangglider:  what's your name!!
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Jan 16, 2017 13:11
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He's figured out the hiding place system, clearly  Thanks for sharing
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Feb 4, 2017 05:56
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Watching TV with my nephews: Elias: *shaking head wildly* Me: Stop, why are you doing that? Elias: I'm beating my head against your arm! *makes pirate face* my arm was done, after that theres no comeback
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Feb 25, 2017 04:00
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davidspackage posted:What the f (i said you had a giant package, sorry)
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Mar 3, 2017 19:56
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My cousin's kids were suddenly very quiet & their mom went to check:
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Mar 11, 2017 03:18
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Well, you probably should be quiet at an execution. God yeah no. Imo you dont wanna be known as the rear end in a top hat who did the wave when they hanged whoever
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Mar 11, 2017 05:52
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Keystoned posted:Apparently my son (6) yesterday after school while ball with a group of friends. Haha, my nephews started saying "what the heck" a lot recently. In English (their first language is Danish). My brother & his wife have no idea where they picked it up.
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Mar 16, 2017 09:09
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my son: its kinda weird to have a drug parlance derail in the poo poo kids say thread me:
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Mar 18, 2017 00:36
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Keystoned posted:scrambled eggs > eggman > big-bird Hahah! That makes total sense in my opinion When I was a child, I thought the Simpsons were black. I'm aware that there are actual black people in Simpsons, that doesn't change anything. Years later, I realized they were white. Now I'm assuming it was a Homer Simpson/OJ Simpson crossed wire thing but I honestly have no idea.
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Mar 18, 2017 07:08
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Friend of mine took his daughter who's I think 3 "to Disney". They saw all the princesses and "Donald, from Mickey Mouse" Anyway, he was recording a thing & he was just talking out loud "I thought Mulan was substandard, [idk something about last time? blah blah]" and his daughter is just like "No! Mulan is real!" with that set face like "don't you dare disagree"
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Apr 1, 2017 07:20
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too good to be true imo My nephews like to throw things when their parents aren't home, so for a while when babysitting I tried asking every time "why did you throw that?" like for the reason instead of just don't or stop. Oldest one eventually sayd "I'm seeing if you're magnetic" kitchen magnets 
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Apr 22, 2017 01:36
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Nostradingus posted:How does one laugh like a drain? If you haven't laughed like a drain, I feel bad for you When I was a kid & I couldn't stand being tickled anymore, my laughter was gone and I was just making drain noises stohrrrhrhrhhStorhhStopSrhrhhrhhSTop, I promised my parents/cousins/ticklers that I would tickle them when I grew up I love to tickly my nephews until they can't breathe; and so one time the youngest said "I'll kill you if you don't stop" I am now counting down the hours 'till the time when I shall be slain dead by mine own nephews hand.
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Apr 27, 2017 22:42
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Rihanna is funny as hell and also fierce
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May 6, 2017 02:26
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haha that is fantastic Maybe some kind of idiom about following the music => being a music sheep? no idea
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May 12, 2017 11:10
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My 6 year old nephew came up to me with a can of coke, "can you help me? I can't open it" Sure, I help and open it: it explodes all over the place a he laughs his rear end off. Li'l scoundrel shook it
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May 25, 2017 12:57
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What are you trying to say? I got pranked irl and you're posting youtubes
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May 25, 2017 21:46
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Oh, right. Thought they were trying to call me out for pretending a TV thing happened to me.
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May 26, 2017 07:15
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Tensokuu posted:I'm an rear end in a top hat but not that much of an rear end in a top hat. No worries  We were walking through a forest the following day, and he was talking to his younger brother: "we could cut down all these trees with a chainsaw" His brother: "We could cut heads off humans and then cut the heads into quarts" Me:  E: Also they found a Swedish Cluelike card game at the cabin, and named one of the characters Krankenstyle
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May 28, 2017 23:04
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:they're makin' me teach the ol' middle school classes again. That's cool as hell Separetely: Did the kids en masse or the other teachers or the school itself cut it off?
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Jun 6, 2017 08:32
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| # ¿ May 7, 2024 21:12 |
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Cut what off? Sorry, I only got 90 minutes of sleep last night and I'm off my face from coffee and grumpiness. sorry i meant your job for a bit it sounded like you lost your job but i hope you still have it :ü
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Jun 6, 2017 09:20
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