blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

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during which ancient egyptian month will blackberry die?
	thout
	paopi
	hathor
	koiak
	tobi
	meshir
	paremhat
	paremoude
	pashons
	paoni
	epip
	mesori
	gasthred
	banop
	RIM'S GONNA KEEP GOING BABY!!!

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infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Nelson MandEULA posted:

...we've seen the first step in that process today at Mobile World Congress 2014 (MWC), where the company announced a new keyboard-equipped BlackBerry 10 device with the well-known menu, back, send, and end keys of old, as well as a trackpad.

ahahahahaha haha ha hoooo!

oh boy. this is going to be loving amazing.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 16:58

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:41

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

how long has that tarsier been wearing that?!?!

since the last glassholes thread.

thank dr. honked

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 17:22

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Caged posted:

lmao who made a concept with a trackpad that you roll your thumb over and a capacitive back button right next to it

and a touchscreen directly above it.

it's brilliant. we must move forward by going backward. we're taking this company Back To The Future.

when our stock price hits 88 cents you're going to see some serious poo poo!

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 17:25

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

QNX is fine, it's the BB userland that's complete poo poo. you know, the part actually written by rim/blackberry from the ground up.

see: http://blackberryq10.tumblr.com/

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 19:09

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Bonzo posted:

So, at least in Canada, all non BB10 devices have been down since 9am.

link please.

this is great news

edit: http://canadianoutages.com/status/blackberry

ahahahahahahaha!

infernal machines fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Mar 4, 2014

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 18:53

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FrozenVent posted:

hey what's the proper way to destroy blackberries to make sure the data isn't too recoverable?

we have a pile at work that I've been tasked with disposing off

they're really loving old too

run the secure delete function from the security menu.

it does a complete overwrite of the device storage, which is why it take like 20 minutes to run.

then donate them to the women's shelter, you monster.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2014 17:47

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

The Management posted:

lol wtf is this poo poo? why doesn't it just throw away the encryption keys?

because blackberry. it's "secure"

also, i'm not sure the old ones had encrypted storage

# ¿ Jul 6, 2014 17:58

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

~Coxy posted:

yeah wasn't the iphone 3gs the first one to actually have that as opposed to a 7 pass overwrite

i think so.

i just looked it up, even now BB doesn't encrypt storage unless you force it to with a device policy.

real fuckin' secure guys

# ¿ Jul 7, 2014 01:47

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

THC posted:

This is a phablet for "professional" users.

As it is a BB device, it is not NSA ready.

lol. riiight, they gave the indian and saudi governments the keys to intercept everything, but not the americans.

I wonder what will happen when the snowden leaks reveal that the CIS has a nice big dossier on their leather anime fetish, culled straight from their crackberry browser history

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 01:24

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

theadder posted:

why is her logo an anus?

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 14:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

now explain the mask

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 14:47

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FMguru posted:

it hides her shame (that shes a dirty little anal whore)

there ain't no shame in that

being a blackberry mascot on the other hand, is shameful as hell

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 14:50

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FMguru posted:

i just want to know the decisionmaking process that went in to putting their flagship first deluxe retail store just outside of...Detroit

i think there's a certain sense of logical order to the universe that asserts itself like this if people aren't paying attention

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 15:31

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

back when it first became apparent what a dismal failure the playbook was, a truckload of the were "stolen"

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 23:18

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

blackberry: a failure of attrition

# ¿ Jul 17, 2014 06:10

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Blackula69 posted:

barring any unexpected downturns in the market

like say, absolutely no one wanting blackberrys and no carriers or stores willing to sell/promote/give shelf space to them.

but who could anticipate something like that? certainly not john chen

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 16:06

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

oh someone hosed up in the news story. the p'9983, the new model, runs the new qnx-based OS, and it's hideously ugly

also no one has committed to manufacturing it yet. just mockups. vaporware, from the makers of.... poo poo people forgot about.

do they still have a hardware manufacturer? who are they using now?

last i heard their hardware "partner" ditched them very publicly before their contract was up.

also, one of my clients has a true believer on the executive board. he still has a poo poo ton of bby stock, despite having lived through the nortel collapse. he gets real touchy every time i shoot him down over recommending blackberrys for corporate deployment.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2014 10:00

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

LastInLine posted:

all three of their major suppliers dumped them publicly they were jabil flextronics and celestica

jabil is the one i was thinking of. i didn't know about the other two.

lol

# ¿ Sep 20, 2014 18:17

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FrozenVent posted:

wtf is Porsche design idgi

porche branded devices ostensibly designed by porche designers to match porche aesthetics or something.

basically a good way of identifying shitlords with no taste who make poor purchasing decisions and are ripe for bilking.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 00:05

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FMguru posted:

i thought that was the little grenade logo next to their forums name

there's more than one way

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 00:15

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

the iphone 6+ is $750
the galaxy note 4 is $750
both are manufactured with the greatest economies of scale

what do you think a low-production, almost engineering sample, phone is gonna be like when it's $250 less than the competitors?

build quality is gonna be laughable. like $99 android tablet laughable

how much flex do you think there will be when typing on that thing?

also, keep in mind that the physical keyboard is actually a capacitive touch/gesture sensing surface as well.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 23:24

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

minivanmegafun posted:

so does anyone even have blackberrys on display anymore? when the new square berry is out will I be able to visit the AT&T store in my office building and go lmao at it?

i dunno about the states, but up here in the frozen north there are a few bell, telus, and rogers corporate stores that have one or two display models.

pretty much only the ones near large office centres though

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 23:37

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Millstone posted:

keep moving

# ¿ Sep 26, 2014 17:39

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

prefect posted:

is that a trampoline?

sadly no.

not that i'd trust the stability of any blackberry platform

# ¿ Sep 26, 2014 17:56

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Fib posted:

One of my friends started at a big law consultancy whatever firm recently and got issued a blackberry

one of my clients (the one with the big bby investor on the board) is trying to push for byod and BB10 blackberrys for there next round of deployments. apparently the last three years of using iphones were too problem free for them so they need to get serious phones for business™. i expect at least three months before their tools not toys start driving them up the wall with constant sync fuckups and reboots, just like they were before we pushed them to iPhone.

after the one board member basically accused me of lying to them i'm willing to say gently caress it and let them burn.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2014 23:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Bonzo posted:

Here we go again. http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/blackberry-shares-jump-on-rumour-of-lenovo-takeover-1.2805978?cmp=rss&utm

holy lol. this is brilliant, they're probably doomed without the buyout but there's no loving way the provider of critical "secure" comms infrastructure for pretty much all of the canadian (and us) government will be sold to a chinese company.

i wonder how long before the harper government just gives up and makes bby a crown corp.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2014 23:44

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD posted:

what is it they provide beyond the phones themselves? us gov't is moving towards apple anyways now that they meet industry standards

they handle all te infrastructure "securely" connects the phones to the government's servers as well. any phones managed through BES have all their data routed through bby's servers in both directions.

that's why something like 90% of the blackberrys in north america were down for almost a week a couple yeas ago when rim had the datacenter outage.

lenovo buying bby would mean that all this data would pass though their servers, and they hold the encryption keys.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2014 21:23

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Bonzo posted:

Yes. Ask anyone in Waterloo and they will tell you that's where the European and Asia Pacific "NOC" is. When you start the hemorrhage money, it's easier to just host everything in one datacenter.

it's fairly interesting to know that you can take out mobile communications for half the western world's civilian governments with a single building in a lovely little canadian university town.

aaaand now i'm on a list somewhere...

# ¿ Oct 21, 2014 21:59

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Cold on a Cob posted:

i used to vote for the liberals but lol @ justin trudeau and lol @ how corrupt and lazy they are now

lol, now?

did you miss all of the 90s?

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 15:00

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

lol BB "security"

so the same PKI that they hand out the keys to anytime a government asks them?

will the samsungs go down too the next time some jackoff in waterloo triggers a fire alarm in the one and only infrastructure DC?

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 18:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

A Pinball Wizard posted:

are you loving serious

basically yes.

officially they have multiple DCs for different regions. in practice, from what we saw during the week long outages a while back that affected multiple continents, and from scuttlebutt around waterloo, no they have one DC that's routing traffic for BB worldwide.

if it goes through blackberry enterprise server, it goes through a DC somewhere in or near waterloo

# ¿ Nov 19, 2014 15:56

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i like that bb10 makes it such a pain in the rear end to set up an active-sync account that we regularly have people asking if they can set up pop and smtp on their exchange servers just for bb users.

this has been a solved problem for literally everyone (well, maybe not android) since 2008, how are you still making it this complicated?

# ¿ Nov 19, 2014 16:20

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Thanks Ants posted:

that and the unbreakable 1:1 relationship between user and pin

it was an email pager platform.

it was an email pager platform that got frankensteined over a decade into the tortured mess it is now, but at its heart it's still a pager

# ¿ Nov 19, 2014 16:22

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

mostly i see lawyers and lovely middle management fucks who still think it's 2006 and having a blackberry is a status symbol with them. everyone else has moved on

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 03:51

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

Mike Lazaridis and Doug Fregin, founders of the �Smart Phone� industry

this is much funnier IMO.

goddamn hilarious actually.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 23:39

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Perplx posted:

�No, I like my Samsung�, she said, and I told her she was embarrassing me.�

man's getting cucked by sarnsung. some shameful poo poo.

barb! barb, please the other guys all see you with samsung and they know.. barb. barb you're embarrassing me in front of the other ceos

# ¿ Nov 25, 2014 16:45

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Generic Monk posted:

http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2014/11/ars-reviews-the-blackberry-passport-the-corporate-tool/

'�That is the worst designed thing, like ever.� That's exactly what my 13-year-old daughter said as she gazed upon the BlackBerry Passport, freshly unboxed upon my desk. She picked it up, ran fingers across the keys, and put it down again. She acted as if she mistakenly touched something she found on the sidewalk, right down to taking a step back in retreat.'

they tout this as a good thing in that article.

if your teenage daughter thinks it's a ridiculous piece of poo poo it must be Made for Professionals™.

it's not your daughter's cellphone, it's a blackberry.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 00:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

FrozenVent posted:

could I turn in my lovely broken 4S, get a blackberry, sell that to some dumbass for a profit?

sure, assuming you could find a dumbass to sell it to. blackberry obviously can't

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 02:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

it's like being beaten with a sack of sweet valencia oranges rather than being punched in the eye, it's still awful, but at least you're not embarrassed to go out in public

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 16:39

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:41

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

why not? canadian tech investments have always worked out well for the ontario teacher's pension fund.

just ask them about nortel

# ¿ Nov 29, 2014 05:44

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