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Nietzschean posted:Why did the developer think it was a good idea for carp and elephants to be terrifying murder beasts? Toady basically has one rule for creating Dwarf Fortress: more is more.
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Mar 15, 2014 11:38
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Splode posted:A few cats is useful for killing vermin. The rest are just causing lag and will be made into take away. Dogs can be made into stray war dogs which are useful for distracting invaders while civilians flee. You need one cat for vermin control. ONE. More just breed and are a menace. Nothing quite like having a tantrum spiral because 12 pet cats died in a siege.
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Apr 11, 2014 04:41
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Baloogan posted:Anyone want to start a pool? I'll take the 13th. It'd be more interesting to guess what insane bugs are going to come out of it at zero hour. My irrational guess is every living thing in the fortress inexplicably turning into a gigantic zombie lobster that's on fire every time the game autosaves.
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Jun 2, 2014 04:32
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Moridin920 posted:If you assign a hammerer and a captain of the guard and some guards, your dwarfs will get arrested for violating work orders and mandates from nobles and will either be hammered or put in jail depending on the sentencing and if you have jail cells. Make sure that your hammerer is a weak cripple that can't actually wield a hammer. He'll ineffectively flail at dwarves that get punished and accomplish basically nothing. The guard is also a good place to retire crippled ex-soldiers.
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Jun 12, 2014 21:58
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The funniest thing will be the maddening, insane bugs that invariably crop up the first week. All I have to say is "iron thrones."
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Jun 20, 2014 04:33
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Shukaro posted:"Fixed invaders completing pending jobs." "Goblin sieges began climbing up wells but became non-hostile fort residents after finishing the climb. Most of them become fishermen."
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Jul 1, 2014 20:25
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Tiler Kiwi posted:My guess; pathfinding madness where dwarves get stuck in loops, and keep trying to take paths that wind up breaking all their bones, causing other dwarves to fall down whatever chasm they tried to climb in order to claim the precious socks. Dwarves inexplicably wear nothing but socks on every body part. Except their feet.
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Jul 3, 2014 06:56
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Neurion posted:Are you suggesting that socks reproduce? Yes. They lay statues, which explode into hundreds of socks.
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Jul 3, 2014 21:38
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So if you mine through a trees roots the entire tree just freaking vanishes. Well that's...interesting.
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Jul 9, 2014 02:43
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Lord Windy posted:How does one make a metal whip? Chains? With lots of spikes? Who knows?
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Jul 11, 2014 04:14
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Flavahbeast posted:I think the reverse is happening, single thread performance is the most important metric if I'm buying a CPU because multithreading is so often underutilized Multithreading is also absurdly difficult to program properly. Where I'm studying that sort of stuff is covered in a 400-level class that's notorious for being nasty and difficult. It's hard to wrap your head around it to begin with but it gets even worse when you consider that there's a whole bunch of extra crap you need to think about when it comes to data and how it is handled. You can end up with things like a variable changing dramatically in the middle of a thread doing something that completely torpedoes absolutely everything. The suggestion of "well programmers should just multithread everything" is a pretty ridiculous thing that programmers get sick of hearing. Multithreading an application means rewriting it from the ground up, requires dramatically different algorithms, and introduces more bugs, sometimes an exponential increase in them. The other side of it is that a lot of stuff just can't be multithreaded and, sometimes, the time saved from multithreading is undone by the extra overhead. It's actually possible to make a program run more slowly by multithreading. Actually one of the earliest assignments we did was more or less "OK write this program this way and that way. Intentionally do things that will suck, then rewrite it to be a single thread, and look at the difference." A lot of programs just flat out don't need multiple threads. One of the biggest thing that multithreading has done is allowing a computer to dedicate an entire core to a program rather than splitting the program among multiple cores. You have the OS running on one core, the game running on another, and the other one paying attention to your internet connection. There is still a net gain in performance in that case as there's usually crap loads of stuff running in the background and it eats processes to switch between them. More cores means less switching.
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Jul 13, 2014 09:48
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HerrBrau posted:Not sure if this is a new description in 0.40.x, but it's new to me: one of my dwarves is described as "belarded by great hanging sacks of fat." Thanks to the absurdly lavish food I always heaped on my dwarves in the last version every single dwarf in my fort became grotesquely obese, using that exact description. I'm sure that's actually the one that indicates they're as fat as possible.
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Jul 14, 2014 15:32
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I got the best mental image of a dwarf ranting and screaming about all the poo poo that he murdered at a goblin in a beekeeper suit just kind of ignoring him. Finally, when the dwarf shut up, the goblin just looks at him and says "I don't care man, would just leave me alone with my bees?" Poor goblin just wanted to keep bees, man. WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING HIM?
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Jul 16, 2014 12:33
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Mu. posted:
That happens occasionally. I once had a caravan show up with a "large." It wasn't a large anything, just a plain "large." I bought it and put it in its own stockpile surrounded by silver statues. It was the best large I'd ever seen.
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Jul 17, 2014 16:16
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Sultan Tarquin posted:Dwarves deserve pretty things okay Really all it takes is a really nice bed in a smoothed 2x2 room with a marble box or two and they're pretty happy. Throw in a nice dining room full of statues somewhere and lavish meals and your dwarves are permanently ecstatic.
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Jul 19, 2014 22:39
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Mister Adequate posted:Wrong. A true dwarf would just as soon have nature and the great outdoors burned to ashes and converted into a great mining pit. You forgot to include "while drinking heavily and puking on literally everything."
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Jul 20, 2014 12:51
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Apoffys posted:You can hack into a volcano without killing the miner, by channeling instead of digging. Dig a 1-tile wide path to the volcano as you normally would, then channel the last tile instead of digging. This creates an open space on the tile below, which the lava has to fill before it can flow into your corridor. Should give you plenty of time to close the floodgate you've rigged to close the tunnel. For extra time, channel the last tile diagonally, as fluids flow more slowly diagonally. Also, make sure to designate some mining work in a safe area when your miner starts channeling the last tile, because then he'll immediately run there to do it rather than stand around thinking about what to do next. Another option is to use a pump.
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Jul 20, 2014 13:43
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Sky Shadowing posted:Must have been some optimizations to get a 1000% increase in performance during Adv Mode Generation. Many algorithms are extremely inefficient and can be replaced by far more efficient algorithms. He probably had a crap load of hideously inefficient brute force code going on or code with flawed logic that trapped itself in weird loops. Recursion and complex logic trees are especially prone to that sort of thing.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:34
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Lawman 0 posted:So will the reenabled elven diplomat/liaison allow us to order things from the elves? No, he'll stare at you while you sleep then wake up you to yell at you for cutting down a tree, ever.
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Jul 24, 2014 01:24
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Moridin920 posted:
This is your new god.
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Jul 30, 2014 08:25
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Tunicate posted:They stay in the fort, but they might not necessarily be in the same locations (not sure on the mechanics for item scattering on retirE). They get strewn about semi-randomly with the distance they move being based on their weight. Lead poo poo barely moves at all. Almost nothing actually stays in its actual container so no you don't get to recover all your precious booze.
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Aug 3, 2014 07:03
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RedTonic posted:Do caged pets free themselves after a dwarf chooses to make them a pet? I might have... hypothetically... made a hydra available as a pet. Now you have to let it out and tell us what happens.
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Dec 30, 2014 04:55
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Node posted:This is awesome. My dwarves are quite cave adapted. There is a steady stream of vomit at the entrance to my fort. I decided to help change their habits by designating a sculpture garden in my outer courtyard, so dwarves will throw parties there and get used to the sunlight again. Now that I checked on it after a year, every single tile that the sculpture garden inhabits has vomit. The correct response to "my dwarves are cave adapted" is "deliberately have every dwarf in the fort projectile vomit all over literally every caravan that arrives." It's just one of those things dwarves do.
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Apr 13, 2015 04:56
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The correct answer is fractal bedrooms.   There actually was a point where I'd spend more time designing new walk-efficient fractal fort designs than I would actually playing the damned game.
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Apr 14, 2015 17:29
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Kennel posted:Then it turns out that you aren't immune to your own songs. It turns out that your own songs only affect you like acid rain and inexplicably turns your boots into iron thrones.
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Jun 27, 2015 10:25
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VerdantSquire posted:Eh, I don't think Toady is nearly as terrible as this thread would lead you to believe. I used to listen to the various DFtalk segments they used to do, and it sounds like he has somewhat of a better understanding about what his game is than some people seem to think. Obviously he's still insane because hes undertook the idea of DF as a project, but it seems like he is aware of the more realistic concerns regarding the game and does make an effort towards fixing them. The thing about Toady is that he was a math professor that just kind of thought making games sounded cool. He made DF so him and his brother had the game they wanted to play and has said that he'd be working on it even if nobody paid him to. He released it free on the internet because "well maybe somebody else will like it." Next thing he knows people are literally just throwing money at him and his response was "OK I guess this is my living now. Cool." Pretty sure he also said that it suits him because he isn't very social and this means he doesn't need to really interact with people much. I mean good for him, you know? He's making something that a poo poo load of people like and it sounds like he's pretty happy with his life.
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Jul 2, 2015 15:21
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neogeo0823 posted:Don't the engravers already do that, what with chronicling the history of your fort on the walls and floors and such? It's kinda the same thing, really. There's even tons of reposts when they run out of original things to chisel. For whatever reason when I play DF my dwarves tend to pick one particular, exceedingly minor detail to engrave on like...everything. I still can't help but laugh at a fort that kept dedicating engravings and statues to one particular time a giant broke an elf's molar.
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Jul 14, 2015 17:58
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Michaellaneous posted:This is a joke. It is of the lowest quality. It mentions a joke. It is of the lowest quality. This is a gold post. All craftsgoonship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with golden manbabies. It menaces with spikes of jokes. On the item is an image of a goon. The goon is crafting a joke. On the item is an image of a goon and goons. The goons are laughing at the goon. On the item is an image of a goon and a post. The goon is raising the post. The post is made of poo poo. Yeah sorry I just couldn't help myself.
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Jul 21, 2015 11:55
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Pharnakes posted:Can dwarves fall off bridges? I'd built a 1x1 bridge and I think my woodcuter just fell off it carying a barrel. I can't think of any other reason why he'd be drowning in the river with a crushed everything. Yup. Dwarves with a crappy agility have a chance to just careen off of edges.
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Sep 7, 2015 23:41
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Loopoo posted:Still though, having to resort to such dwarfy measures as magma for an issue that should be somewhat simple to resolve (militia, attack that scum!) is a bit annoying. It isn't "fun" or fun, it's just straight-up irritating. Especially since I've now stopped all visitors from coming to my temples, libraries and taverns, cause I just know this poo poo will happen again. This is Dwarf Fortress. The answer to every question is "magma." The solution to every problem is "magma." If whatever you're doing doesn't involve magma somehow you're wrong.
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Dec 23, 2015 15:58
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Demiurge4 posted:Never not 0/100 tunnel density/cave openness. Humans build villages in the surface. Dwarves build them in the caves! Then periodically come to the surface to vomit on caravans and drown them.
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Jan 20, 2016 09:10
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Dwarves reproduce via spores.
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Jan 23, 2016 12:34
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Muscle Tracer posted:Disappointed that the three four-pointed stars are not screaming. I won't be satisfied until the screaming is also screaming. And that screaming is screaming as well. All is screaming. SCREAM.
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Mar 3, 2016 13:34
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Muscle Tracer posted:This would require Toady to implement scream elements, which would require atmospheric vibration, which would require aerodynamics... So I just need to wait around a few months until he just randomly implements it. Got it.
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Mar 4, 2016 00:28
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Michaellaneous posted:Always this. Then laugh and post about it.
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Sep 10, 2016 04:42
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Prav posted:sometimes it's both Let's be honest, it's "frequently both." Probably also caked in vomit and inexplicably depressed over missing a sock.
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Sep 13, 2016 03:35
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Charlie72 posted:Could also be a steakhouse Why not both? Throw in some magma and dwarves getting incinerated by it randomly then some engravings of absurd historical events and you have something properly dwarvenly.
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Oct 2, 2016 22:12
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virinvictus posted:What if you flood your fort EVERY time? Still doing it right. Every dwarf fortress player must flood a fort at least four times. Once unintentionally with water, once unintentionally with lava, and then intentionally with both.
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Nov 14, 2016 06:29
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Mister Adequate posted:
Yeah Dwarf Fortress is just this beautiful, unique gem among games. It's a bug gently caress crazy gem somehow made of leather of animals that don't exist, jagged, badly cut green glass, the tears of dead dwarves, and the most normal wood that has ever existed but a beautiful and unique one none the less. It's like Toady decided that "more is more" isn't more enough and decided to see how maddeningly complex of a game a human can possibly make. And we are all richer for it. I still think my favorite DF moment was one particular fort that repeatedly made art memorializing a particular fight between an elf and a giant. I looked them up in the history and neither of them ever did anything else at all that was worth noting, apparently. At one point, early in the world's history, the elf and the giant met and had a fight. Nothing happened except the giant bashed the elf in the face and knocked one of his teeth out. That's it. That's all that happened. My dwarves decided it was the most significant historical event in the world and like 75% of the statues in the fort inexplicably immortalized that moment and nothing else. ToxicSlurpee fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Nov 21, 2016 |
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Nov 21, 2016 04:20
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Toady you crazy bastard, I'm so glad to see he's not getting even a tiny bit less insanely ambitious over time.
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Psycho Society posted:Now what dwarf fortress creature is based off of the body part-throwing dancing troupe? The entire combat system.
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Jan 5, 2017 05:00
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