google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

cremnob posted:

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

libertarianism.png

# ¿ Aug 26, 2014 23:03

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 11:49

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

duTrieux. posted:

i was reading today about the bk/hortons thing and people commenting were calling tim hortons "timmies" which i'm sure is totally not something reinforced with multi-million dollar advertising campaigns designed to elevate a brand to the status of a trusted human friend

sounds like dave, the home of witty banter

Within just one month of its launch, Dave had become the tenth largest television channel in the UK. The broadcaster puts daily averages at around 3 million viewers, although, much of the growth may be attributed to its presence on Freeview; nonetheless, it is performing significantly better in pay TV homes than UKTV G2 ever did. Over the month since its launch, Dave averaged a 1.32% share in multichannel homes and a 3.2% share in the 16�34 male demographic.[16]

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 04:38

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

pagoe posted:

yeah im not sure why im using it. its cheaper than spotify but not by enough to warrant paying for a broken music player.

rule 36 bicth

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 17:08

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

duTrieux. posted:

there's probably a lot of money that will be spent in the near future on consumer-grade drone deterrence and countermeasures

metal's hot. time to strike.

as an added bonus this roof-mounted microwave gun will also repel babyboomers

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 03:38

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

silly string cannon broadside

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 06:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shifty Pony posted:

if you try to stop the bird death the drone death goes up:

it's me i'm the sharking

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 17:24

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

The Management posted:

what's the balance for when the car risks your life to save someone else's? 0%? with humans nothing is quantifiable so it's all a gray area. once you have hard numbers, things become a lot more complex.

l l l look at you p p pedestrian

a pa pa path pathetic c creature of meat and bone

panting and sweating as you r run through my roadways

how can you challenge a p perfect immortal machine

# ¿ Aug 31, 2014 18:52

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

theflyingexecutive posted:

# ¿ Sep 1, 2014 03:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

cremnob posted:

Leonardo Del Vecchio, founder and controlling shareholder of Luxottica

burn this man alive

# ¿ Sep 3, 2014 22:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

I assume they haven't restored the only good feature of the smoke detector which was to be able to shut off false alarms

oh good now i don't hafta make sure not to wave my arms around if there's a real fire

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 16:25

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

if there's a real fire and you're at the point where you're waving your arms underneath it the smoke detector has done its job because you are aware of the fire and not in bed or anything

once you're aware of the emergency what's the point of it continuing to make noise other than make an incredibly unpleasant experience that much worse?

alerting the fire department would be nice

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 16:37

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

keyboard vomit posted:

the kind of thing that does this is actually super expensive and mega complicated and usually interfaces with a real fire alarm panel

https://www.firelite.com/en-US/documentation/Documents/51073.pdf

have fun reading that

just have the nest tweet the fire department what's the big deal

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 21:25

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Busta Chimes.wav posted:

or do you think they should throw a bunch of complicated systems together and immediately expect them all to work?

yeah we wouldn't want to hold them to real transportation engineering standards that would just be unreasonable

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 18:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Cocoa Crispies posted:

a-bloo a-bloo software engineering allows for cheaper iterations and more flexibility than civil engineering a-bloo-bloo-bloo

lol you might want to find a better thing to point to there than the google car

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 18:14

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

hobbesmaster posted:

real engineering standards assume drivers are complete idiots right

or drunk yeah

but you don't get to road test around all of those drivers impaired by age and drugs until your poo poo 100% works because of the liability

which is why google basically didn't tell anyone about their public road testing for like their first year iirc

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 18:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Fabricated posted:

or somehow magically secured a zillion dollars to paint all roads with sensors or special paint it can instantly recognize you'd literally have people crashing these cars by drawing a fake road into a wall like Wil E. Coyote

this is literally what stanford and mit and a few other big research programs have been doing since the mid-80s

the frontrunner for "smart roads" that we learned about in school was this system where you since pylons into the road every 12 feet or something that it can detect in order to sense the edge of the travel lanes

coupled with sensing technology that you put in the other cars on your test track you can get some really crazy traffic densities where everyone's less than a foot from everyone else

it's something that's been worked on for decades and yeah the unpredictability is what kills it

all of these methods work best when you hit a threshold of autonomous vehicles on the road - iirc it's somewhere just south of 1 in 3

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 18:50

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

you hafta bring your own condoms tho if you want him to use one

# ¿ Sep 18, 2014 03:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

THC posted:

Larry Page wants a Google 2.0 that will build cities and airports, report says
The world's got problems and the Google CEO is searching for solutions

As if self-driving cars, balloon-carried internet, or the eradication of death weren't ambitious enough projects, Google CEO Larry Page has apparently been working behind the scenes to set up even bolder tasks for his company. The Information reports that Page started up a Google 2.0 project inside the company a year ago to look at the big challenges facing humanity and the ways Google can overcome them. Among the grand-scale plans discussed were Page's desire to build a more efficient airport as well as a model city. To progress these ideas to fruition, the Google chief has also apparently proposed a second research and development lab, called Google Y, to focus on even longer-term programs that the current Google X, which looks to support future technology and is headed up by his close ally Sergey Brin.

None of these ambitions seem to be taking commercial considerations into account, at least not at their outset. More realistic and near-term goals have also been under discussion during Google 2.0 meetings, including Page's determination that location tracking should be precise "down to the inches." That would allow people to identify those around them discreetly, as well as providing information to store owners that can help customize what you're presented with as you walk through a shop. Also, just as Apple is doing with Touch ID on the iPhone, Page wants to see some form of biometric security � potentially provided by the sensors embedded in smartwatches � replacing the traditional (and traditionally insecure) written password. It's hardly a surprise to see Google thinking about the future, but the ambition illustrated in this report is strikingly grand and all-encompassing, even for a company as vast as the one Larry Page controls.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 21:49

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

can't wait for google to cut out the middleman and just start trying to design their campus facilities themselves with their "engineering" staff

i mean what could go wrong

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 16:22

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

those guys were definitely not qualified to be loving around with the HVAC system on a goddamn superfund site housing 1000 workers

i bet that real HVAC/mechanical engineers would've probably closed the site entirely to do any work, probably over the weekend or a series of nights

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 16:41

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

no worries, google will take ownership of any deformed children borne by its employees

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 16:47

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shifty Pony posted:

They probably think that the building hvac is bullshit because it doesn't have a phone app like Nest.

the new guys from nest said that we had to switch the a/c over to manual in order for the phone app to let me tweak my office temp from the hallway like a caveman

*gives cancer to everyone in the building*

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 17:55

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

rotor posted:

sounds like the toxic waste here is some seriously concentrated fail imo

santa clara county has the largest amount of superfund site area in the entire state from the old chip manufacturing

there's a big one downstream from where we moved to that i had to make sure we were outside of because that one sees elevated rates of the kinda cancer that killed futurewife's dad

but yeah most of it is right there on the bay, near moffett airfield

google main campus has some as well

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 18:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

saucepanman posted:

bangalore is one of the worst examples of this. open loving sewer drains in over 3/4th of the city and the river is a gigantic sewage dump as well. 90% of the freshwater lakes are contaminated by sewage and/or chemical waste.

but hey the rich parts of the city have nice sewage systems so no one gives a gently caress

atlanta has open sewer inlets all over its downtown area

you can smell them from the sidewalk it's completely foul

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 22:20

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

I have to go to atlanta for a work thing in october, I might stay a couple extra days because gently caress flying to the east coast for one night

where's the least terrible part of town?

buckhead

# ¿ Sep 24, 2014 00:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

duTrieux. posted:

has google officially abandoned this or what?

they haven't said anythign about it for a while now, and nobody at google seems to use theirs, so...

i generally see one or two people in google shirts/bags wearing them at the farmers market on sundays

# ¿ Sep 30, 2014 00:19

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Sagebrush posted:

they're engineers

# ¿ Sep 30, 2014 07:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Sagebrush posted:

i saw a number of them at the maker faire last may, and the exploratorium holds these adults only nights where you can go there after hours and play with all the exhibits absent children screaming, and they serve wine and stuff (it's a great time) and google had a booth at one of those letting people try them on.

other than that i have literally never seen one in use in person.

whenever i see one (which is often on the weekends) i always, always hafta fight down the urge to just slap it off of their face

# ¿ Sep 30, 2014 07:16

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

are you allowed to wear google glass whilst driving

# ¿ Oct 1, 2014 16:04

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

icantfindaname posted:

changing my username to entitled faggotron as we speak

faggotron and miss dildocatte

# ¿ Oct 1, 2014 19:18

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Smythe posted:

i like the post office. its official smelling

i like seeing the insane people outside protesting the black president

# ¿ Oct 1, 2014 19:52

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

duTrieux. posted:

the main cause of airline crashes? pilots.

i want to get a quadcopter and fly it into the tail rotor of a police helicopter then post the video to youtube

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 18:21

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

hobbesmaster posted:

i'm imagining a bunch of little drones falling to earth after their 5 minute battery life is expended

terrorism works the same way

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 19:04

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Sagebrush posted:

the chinese air force is mostly sitting at a 1960s-70s level of technology right now, with a few things comparable to the f-15c (ie the usa's last generation air superiority fighter) and they only have one partially functional aircraft carrier that they bought from the russians. they aren't a threat to the usa.

also they will just explode a low-yield nuke near any carrier that threatens them

carriers are so fuckin dumb

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 22:28

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

ufarn posted:

drat

i'm currently designing upgrades to the pacshores sewerage system

my bosses are gonna be p annoyed because this will prolly complicate billing and the scope/acceptance of this project

drat drat drat

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 22:06

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

I interviewed at a place out there, it's like the windiest place on earth

also the "dock" is a marina for small boats and unless the google ferry is a WWII higgins boat anything remotely like a ferry won't be able to dock there, it's in the middle of a marsh with a tiny slough for access

here are their sewer lift stations that i'm analyzing for future capacity requirements

don't park near them unless you like the smell of concentrated fart

# ¿ Oct 6, 2014 17:27

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

there's no big hovercraft on the bay, don't know if they're banned or it's too windy/choppy or what but I've never seen one

bcdc primarily doesn't like how they scour the shoreline wetlands

they're also p bad for noise emissions

but they're still under consideration for things like high-speed cargo and for ferry service

# ¿ Oct 6, 2014 17:43

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

FMguru posted:

those would be "high performance" or "h p" hovercraft, right?

heh

# ¿ Oct 6, 2014 18:30

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

icantfindaname posted:

there are multiple dates given for millenials, another common one is '84, but yes, 30 year olds are millenials

almost like the generational grouping concept involves a distinct cultural identity of early adults across a 20 year span

# ¿ Oct 15, 2014 17:12

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 11:49

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

JewKiller 3000 posted:

seriously what is the point of segmenting people into generations with special names? if you want to talk about people who didn't live through 9/11, why would you try to figure out the stupid name for "generation z" or whatever the gently caress it is, when you can just say "born after 2001"? it has as much utility as a zodiac sign, and the meaningless platitudes people assign to generations closely resemble that sort of "scorpios are so feisty!" bullshit

yes why indeed do these so-called sociologists insist on attempting to break down americans into absurdly distinct cultural groups based on birth eras

they're almost as bad as these biologists who demand that every single animal have a ridiculous list of subcategories that it might belong to

why do they do it what is the point

# ¿ Oct 16, 2014 06:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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