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Nckdictator posted:Guest: “You’re lying! You’re just covering up for this… cult! It’s a cult of dangerous freaks with weapons!” Sounds like this lady knew what was up. Nckdictator posted:“Am I crushing your wings right now, you fairy whore?” This chick is the Mary Lou Retton of the Oppression Olympics.
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May 10, 2014 01:42
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sweeperbravo posted:This is true. People have a humiliation fetish. It's the only thing that would make sense. It's true, he described it in a strangely sexual level of detail. I love these when they are written in such awful broken English that the motives are even more obvious. Does anyone have that story about the European kid escaping from the sexual advances of his girlfriend's preteen sister thanks to the magic of Bitcoin? That one was a hoot.
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May 22, 2014 01:19
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Pedophilia fantasies, crazy whores, and bitcoins...it's just my favorite. It's wonderful. The only way it could be more reddit.txt is if the guy begged to go back inside to retrieve his suitcase full of trilbies and aviators. Thank you so much, ibntumart.
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May 22, 2014 06:49
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ibntumart posted:
These loving people all think they're sooo smart, but they all write like overwrought high schoolers.
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May 23, 2014 07:11
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Shut-in nerds get baffled by large groups of desperate people, have trouble comprehending sexual and behavioral norms. I buy this one.
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Jul 2, 2014 16:06
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corn in the bible posted:My acting class is getting ready to put on a show for a bunch of kindergarteners. I'll buy this one. The story is lame and dumb. Theater nerds are lame and dumb. It's, like, the transitive property.
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Jul 10, 2014 16:01
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Like a dappled fawn taking its first shaky steps, we see the wild and elusive teenagerus snowflakeii struggle with its first exposure to the real world. Beautiful, in its way.
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Jul 13, 2014 16:21
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The Devil Tesla posted:This actually is totally believable and loving hilarious. Dramatical Murder starts out as this cyberpunk The Warriors thing that I can see a boy digging, and doesn't just get gay but get dumb yaoi gay. Like, imagine if you were a kid and someone told you that in a sequel to Star Wars Luke and Chewie made passionate love? And then Lando gets hypnotised by a Sith and rapes Luke. It's that kind of thing. Oh thank god you were here to elucidate.
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Jul 15, 2014 00:53
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Ah yes, there's no difference between prepubescents on Xbox Live and a trained and experienced killer with unfettered access to weapons and a tenuous grip on reality. Edit: not saying he deserved to die, but he was clearly more dangerous than the guys sleeping with your mom.
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Aug 1, 2014 15:11
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Pththya-lyi posted:Because babysitters are often too expensive for poorer people. I'm childless myself, but I don't begrudge parents their night out. And I can't help wondering if a non-dollar-theater showing of a non-children's movie would have been a better place to get away from the filthy sexhaver crotchdroppings.  edit for content: http://imgur.com/gallery/OGX2n Enjoy a gallery of totally legit feminist strawmen, 100% guaranteed to scald your micropenis with rage. walrusman has a new favorite as of 16:23 on Aug 4, 2014 |
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Aug 4, 2014 15:55
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The DA says only 40,000 more tumblr notes before he'll file charges!
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Aug 5, 2014 07:27
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That really sounds like a "true story." It doesn't feel like it's supposed to be a joke.
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Aug 12, 2014 07:08
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"That's the jiff of it."
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Aug 14, 2014 05:28
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When my grandma died, her garbage company wanted some completely unreasonable level of documentation of her death in order to cancel her service; off the top of my head, I think they wanted the original death certificate, not a copy, sent certified mail to their corporate HQ. After a long and exasperated phone call with some unhelpful customer service rep, my dad just screamed FINE, RUIN HER CREDIT and hung up the phone. He never heard from them again. Bureaucracies really can be that absurd and insensitive in those situations.
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Aug 21, 2014 06:33
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 A little plausible, I guess, but it has the unmistakable tone of STDH.  Nah.  Sigh.
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Sep 12, 2014 01:26
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Tracula posted:Yeah... Here you'd borderline get tackled by the SRO if they even smelled smoke on you. Same for me. Lighters were a huge no-go. I briefly ran a ring of candy dealers during my freshman year of high school (age ~13). I'd buy very cheap candy at the Asian market behind the Chevron and then my friends and I would sell it at outrageous markups during passing breaks. We made a few bucks, and I got the stink-eye from a security guard who assumed I was selling fireworks for some reason, but my "crew" ran the "game" until we all got bored and did something else. edit: and then everyone clapped.
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Sep 19, 2014 06:40
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Butt Detective posted:I was the one who got Pokemon cards banned at my school because some kid stole mine and a big fuss was made about it. gently caress you, narc. One of the saddest episodes of my high school career: we had a second-story hallway/balcony running all the way around the huge cafeteria area. A bunch of turbonerds were playing some kind of card game (probably Yugioh, hard to say) at a table in the middle of the cafeteria, as they did every day. From up on the balcony, a dickhead (a guy I knew, but didn't associate with because he was a dickhead) threw a container of yogurt at them - probably a distance of over 50ft. It splattered in the middle of the table, all over several nerds and what I can only assume was hundreds of dollars worth of Japanese children's toys. Dickhead and his friends strolled away laughing, all the nerds jumped up in rage-tears sputtering "WHO DID THAT?!" and everyone else tried to avoid eye contact. It was a sad and stupid display.
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Oct 2, 2014 15:28
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beedeebee posted:Who the gently caress gets blackmailed by their kid in first place Well you see, the kid is kind of a genius. He totally could have even gotten straight As in high school, if he had cared enough to try.
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Oct 3, 2014 15:51
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Fool and the World posted:And instead use the million monkeys that comprise the United States Marine Corp? A million monkeys with records used to find stuff like this all the time because it's their job, yeah.
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Oct 10, 2014 16:21
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Oh hey. e: that was fast
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Oct 15, 2014 08:10
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Oh yeah, my grandma forwarded that from her AOL account to my parents' AOL account back in 1997.
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Oct 16, 2014 01:34
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Stottie Kyek posted:Brown boots and a black dress? This didn't happen, nobody wears brown boots with a black dress. Not even me and I'm a scruffy goon. Pink hair and face bandages, truly the mark of a girl who puts fashion first.
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Oct 20, 2014 15:15
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Bareback
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Oct 31, 2014 17:06
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Yeah, even a complex cake really only has about five common ingredients, and a cake mix is just three of them pre-mixed for you and marked up 200%. Congrats on your laziness, idiot.
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Nov 5, 2014 09:34
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Stroop There It Is posted:
Yeah, any one component of that story could have maxed out his budget.
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Nov 7, 2014 02:22
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It's the laziest possible gotcha. That seems like a really mundane interaction between two teenagers. Why would you take the time to falsify it? In the off chance that it's real, why would you take the time to put it on the internet?
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Nov 11, 2014 02:45
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Probably a holdover from the French pronunciation.
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Nov 11, 2014 17:44
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Maybe one of those little two-tables-and-a-soda-fountain "cafe" areas next to the deli?
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Nov 13, 2014 04:30
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The buzzkill never gets the hint.
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Nov 17, 2014 08:26
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What's unbelievable about a chick screwing around on her husband while he's deployed, doing drugs, getting trashy tattoos, and getting knocked up? The story is told in a profoundly idiotic way but the only part that even qualifies as "unusual behavior" is the finger thing.
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Nov 20, 2014 01:17
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Post/avatar gold right here folks.
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Nov 25, 2014 16:28
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I know, I had a brony avatar for a couple years until somebody got tired of looking at it and replaced it with the thing I'm sporting now. It's still funny, though.
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Nov 25, 2014 17:26
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NobbytheSheep posted:From my Twitter feed, just now: Free food with a spontaneous pun, no less.
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Nov 27, 2014 02:15
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If someone uses the word "crush" to describe another human being (i.e. "he is my crush" or "I asked out my crush"), I assume he/she is fourteen years old.
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Dec 2, 2014 02:38
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That's only a "story" in the most basic sense.
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Dec 4, 2014 02:03
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It's like he spent all his mental energy going "don't forget to fold it, people will say it's fake, don't forget to fold it!" and then didn't have enough brain power left to attend to any other aspect.
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Dec 5, 2014 08:57
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Fathis Munk posted:Each time I hear "This is gold", "You won't believe what she did", "his reaction is amazing" or any other phrase of the time I get irrationally angry behind my screen and just want to punch the author in his face. Post/avatar perfection. The answer to your question is "middle-aged women on facebook."
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Dec 16, 2014 08:43
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As someone from the Pet Peeve thread (I think) so eloquently put it, if your faith in humanity is so tenuous that it can be swayed by bullshit on the internet, how do you even function?
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Dec 16, 2014 09:32
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Because Not Always Right is a middle-aged lady place.
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Dec 19, 2014 07:16
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Twelve whole hours you guys.
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Dec 25, 2014 09:42
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