shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Yeah, K-close is kissing and F-close is loving. Closing means "sealing the deal" with the HB in some way.

At least his bullshit story will encourage other fedoras to at least pretend to treat their friend-zoning beep boop objectives like actual friends instead of constantly pressuring them?

# ¿ May 8, 2014 17:25

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 20:43

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

I like how he literally describes the discrimination that LGBT people face, except we get it for existing and not for publicly stating beliefs that other people are subhuman. Oh, and we also get assaulted and murdered for it too--I wonder how many anecdotes he can pull up for that happening to people for being traditional Catholics in the U.S.?

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 18:59

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Paladinus posted:

http://np.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled_to_mexico_to_buy_chemicals_to_humanely
quote:
I am STD-free.

The only believable part of this (because he has never had any sexual contact).

The fact that he suggested all of that cost "around 2 grand" is hilarious.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 22:52

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Everyone knows that a good gut-punching will convince a woman that you are the one to father her child.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 05:31

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Bertrand Hustle posted:

That's incredible. I'd like to see them try to explain Dennis Kucinich.

international sex symbol dennis kucinich, can't keep the panties off the floor around that stud

(I know what you meant but the image made me laugh)

The sad thing is that even though their rabid hypocrisy has been pointed out to them, the MRAs are just going to double down on their positions and conclude that the SDTH poster is either a woman trying to discredit them because misandry or a man brainwashed by feminazis.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 17:52

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Boris Galerkin posted:

quote:
TRP is amoral

I always knew those full-kit wankers were scum

also there's an obvious explanation for why women who had multiple pre-marital partners would be more likely to get divorced: they are more likely to know what good sex and good partners are like, so if their husband is lovely they know they deserve better

Stroop There It Is has a new favorite as of 19:28 on Mar 7, 2015

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 18:47

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

TinFoilJoy posted:

For example, this is indistinguishable from the parodies people sometimes post in here:

(After Customer #1 storms out, Customer #2 peels off his face to reveal that he is Albert Einstein)

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 01:50

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

poo poo That Was Self-Diagnosed Using Wikipedia (And Also Didn't Happen)

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 20:32

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

This is the gooniest conversation. Of course someone can try to feel someone else up without being successful.

For example, guy has his arm around girl's waist. He starts moving his hand down for a butt squeeze, she notices and swats his hand away before he gets there. An unsubtle "accidental" boob or butt grope attempt by someone passing by is probably what the story is supposed to be about. You don't need to have ninja reflexes to intercept someone's hand before it reaches the destination on your own goddamn body.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2015 15:40

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Zaphod42 posted:

Its more of a "how literally can you take things" or "how good are you at recognizing trick questions" more than "how well do you follow instructions" though.

Not really, it's just a smartass little lesson in paying attention to the instructions. I have had to give bad grades to undergrads because they didn't follow simple and clear instructions on what to write their papers about that I repeated many times in writing and verbally. Kind of wish I'd given this test to them.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 16:59

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Snatch Duster posted:

Wat jokes are usually funny.

You must not have had a dad in your life.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2015 01:01

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Stahlgeist posted:

Also, no way a 6-year old could fit in that tiny pipe access, let alone get through the pipes.

This, and also there is no way a six-year-old took that photo. If it were a blurry mess, maybe. But it's centered and focused, which requires fine motor coordination a kid that age doesn't have. And why didn't the parent turn on the flash for the kid first if they didn't expect any light? :rolleyes:

Stroop There It Is has a new favorite as of 17:22 on Apr 18, 2015

# ¿ Apr 18, 2015 17:19

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

No, no, this is 100% Dexter brand "psychopathy".

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 03:31

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Does anyone have the vid with the SA rolleyes emoji where a giant one is vomiting out little ones because its necessary for this thread.

Why yes, yes I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfelqZpapZA

# ¿ May 21, 2015 22:23

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

How has no one mentioned The Brave Little Toaster clown nightmare scene yet

(Admittedly, I loved that movie)

# ¿ Jun 2, 2015 04:21

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

I am not sure I've ever seen a more appropriate circumstance for the term "manchildren".

# ¿ Jun 27, 2015 18:48

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Verisimilidude posted:

Oh, I definitely believe this one.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2015 04:08

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Drunk Tomato posted:

No, obviously they grow an extra boob. 'X's are for boobs.

So most men have one boob?

# ¿ Aug 11, 2015 16:21

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

That whole thing is laughable, but this is my favorite part:

subpar anachronism posted:

Further back in the plane, at the same time, two younger Muslims, one in the back on the aisle, and one sitting in front of him by the window, began to show footage of a porno video they had taped the night before. They were very loud about it.

Yes, because if there's anything extremely conservative Muslims love, it's porn. Which they apparently filmed themselves.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2015 15:31

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

ibntumart posted:

Anyway, back to free poo poo at coffee/doughnut places:

Hahaha like anyone who was that elitist (and who the gently caress would be that elitist about boots of all things, or actually call someone a peasant) would go into a loving Dunkin' Donuts

# ¿ Sep 25, 2015 16:13

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

ibntumart posted:

hmm yes every woman would react that way upon seeing a colleague's rear end and dick on their screen, sounds about right. it's not like he would have made this poo poo up because he's into cfnm with pretty ~~milfs~~ 45 and/or 30+ brunettes or anything....... gosh how humiliating!!

# ¿ Oct 22, 2015 23:04

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Fathis Munk posted:

Holy poo poo so many worthless references. Also he's a "PhD candidate"? So he actually did never finish it? But was still a practicing doctor?

PhD candidate is a real thing that means you've passed your qualifying exams but haven't defended your dissertation yet (at which point you get the PhD if you pass). It's something that only applies if you are currently in a doctoral program.

He still sucks.

e: ^ also I like how if the story were true, the writer has the ability to rally teachers to get a scholarship together, but instead of doing that for someone who could actually benefit, she does it to humiliate someone who barely had anything to do with her. Reflects real well on her.

Stroop There It Is has a new favorite as of 15:27 on Oct 30, 2015

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 15:24

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Eponine posted:

Combat boots with a Prada handbag? Honey he was saving the handbag from you.

And of course she had to specify that it was a real Prada bag, god forbid someone thinks she's some kind of poor

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 15:48

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Wanamingo posted:

Good news! Masturbating doesn't make you go blind or give you hairy palms, either.

speak for yourself

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 01:44

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

hyperhazard posted:

Neuroscience is the study of the nervous system.

...What? Conditioning has a neurological basis, where do you think the physical correlates of the behavior/learning are? It is covered in both neuro and psych courses, and there is plenty of neuroscience research on or involving classical or operant conditioning. That is not the dumb part of this story.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 17:19

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Dogfish posted:

On the other hand, conditioning kids by offering them rewards for good behaviour and creating negative associations for bad behaviour is pretty standard practice. Messing with little kids' minds just to see what happens is unethical; potty training treats are not.

A lot of things I learned from TAing an animal behavior/learning course and from tutoring small children have significant overlap. Remember, the time lag between stimulus and reward is very important, and the closer they are temporally, the more effective the reward is. :science:

This is how I have successfully taught my cat stupid tricks and also kept kids with ADHD on-task for a full hour.

Dienes posted:

That's operant conditioning, not Pavlovian conditioning. So they didn't even get the most basic thing correct in their bullshit story.

Nope. Operant conditioning would be if the children learned that they themselves knocking on a table would get them snacks. This story is exactly analogous to Pavlov's dogs--they associate the externally generated auditory stimulus with a food reward. Still didn't happen, of course.

Dogfish posted:

My alma mater renamed the Psychology department to "Behavioural Neurosciences" because it sounds fancier and sciencier.

In other news re: things no one cares about : uhhh these are terms two different fields, so unless they actually have a biological component to all of the psych stuff, it ain't behavioral neuro.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 18:43

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Dienes posted:

No. Pavlovian conditioning is tied to reflexes, not rewards. "Looking at their cubby" is not a biological reflex. If the kids salivated at the knocking, it would be Pavlovian conditioning. The knock in this case would be an antecedent for the students to move to their cubbies to get snacks, the snacks being the reward. The knock would be a discriminative stimulus signalling snacks are available (or at the most a CMO-S); you are forgetting half the contingency. Sorry you failed your students.

Doesn't matter, though. Even if he was trying to condition a reflex (and he isn't), its practically impossible under the conditions he describes. Non-salient stimuli, low number of trials, long temporal relations, weak stimulus-stimulus contingency. He basically read a snippet of an over-simplified account of Pavlov in a psych class and spun up this bullshit not knowing any better.

The way I saw it is that the purported CR is actually salivating and feeling hungry in expectation of the UCS. The CS is the knocking, the UCS is the food that they are allowed to have.

But then again, this poo poo doesn't come up in my field of study at all so I can't say I remember much. :shrug:

# ¿ Jan 23, 2016 19:28

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

My Lovely Horse posted:

But probably never one with that level of saturation, goddamn.

Jesus Christ how do you think weed or vents work

how much weed would you even need?

Also weed just sitting around doesn't get you high??? The smell of it is not loving psychoactive. I think they'd have mentioned it if it was supposedly on fire.

Dienes posted:

Ah. This is my research area. IF he was talking about salivation (and since he never mentions it I don't think you can say he is), yes, the knock is a CS, the food is a US, and the salivation would be the CR/UR. However, hunger is a state, not a behavior or a reflex. At best, presenting the knock concurrently with hunger would make the knock a surrogate conditioned motivating operation, which is tied to operant behavior. He also mentions how the kids freak out when snack time is denied - that's an extinction burst, an operant phenomenon. You don't see it in Pavlovian responses. He just jumbled together a bunch of half-remembered tidbits for his STDH.

Interesting, thanks for the schooling!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2016 20:20

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Pththya-lyi posted:

STDH: A conversation about trigger warnings was productive

Here, have some content:

E: There's a store called "Scheels" in St. Cloud, Minnesota, a city where a lot of Somali immigrants live.

This can be summarized as, "I have never spoken with even a single Muslim". Seriously, do these people think American Muslims are just flipping out constantly from November to January?

# ¿ Jan 29, 2016 17:57

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

These seem more like Pathetic poo poo No One Could Possibly Care About That Did Happen than STDH. Still plenty cringeworthy.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2016 00:06

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Khazar-khum posted:

Brother
Yaoi
Guy
Guy II

why in the gently caress is any of this something they would want to brag about on the internet? Like I know having no filter and no shame whatsoever are a staple of TVTropes, but come on.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2016 17:32

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Murphy Brownback posted:

From my hometown facebook group page:

So much about this annoys me. The unnecessary spacing between sentences, the "please pat me on the back" garbage, the fact that anyone can take a picture of a 100 dollar bill next to their receipt and replace it with the real tip...and yet people lap it up and post about how they're crying, they just called their mom, etc.

e: also where is the evidence that the waitress is even a single mom?

Also lol that he just had to mention it was a white woman working at a Chinese place

# ¿ Mar 19, 2016 20:18

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

This is 100% STDH, who WOULDN'T adopt a loving Dracula cat

I prefer the term Nosferpawtu

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 23:55

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 20:43

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

Nth Doctor posted:

poo poo, I know what I'm doing this summer.

You know you can taste the weed in edibles, right

Like, people would notice right away

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 04:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!