Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

«‹›3 »

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

people are flocking to iPhones...which they use to check their email from an exchange server. iPads are also popular...and are being used to check email on an exchange server and as dumb terminals using poo poo like citrix. and anyone who does anything even remotely important is still using office

i mean yeah ok microsoft has made some terrible loving decisions and hilarious fuckups over the last few years, but ultimately they are still absolutely enormous in the enterprise and it will take many many more years of constant fuckups and bad decisions to seriously erode that market share

if ballmer was still at them helm, yeah i could see that happening, but now i think theres a chance microsoft will pull some of its hydra-like heads out of its rear end and realize that enterprise is where they excel (hah) and make money, while consumer poo poo is just not a strong point worth pursuing

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 05:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 2, 2024 08:40

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Wild EEPROM posted:

byob: aka making your employees use their own poo poo so you dont have to pay for it

yeah pretty much. byod with phones is borderline acceptable...i'll always prefer a separate work phone (cuz i can turn it the gently caress off), but some people would rather just have one, and you can totally sandbox work related stuff

but byod for regular computers? pfffffft hahahahah eat poo poo

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 05:15

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

AS PART OF COST-CUTTING MEASURES TO HELP MITIGATE RECENT LOSSES DUE TO CHALLENGING ECONOMIC CONDITIONS WE WILL NO LONGER BE STOCKING TOILET PAPER IN THE RESTROOMS.

ps gently caress you, more land rovers for the C-levels

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 05:18

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

indigi posted:

I did this too, got a desktopp with a 500mhz p3 in it the week they came out, then the next month saw they released 550mhz processors and tried to talk my mom into buying one

man im getting some crazy nostalgia here for the days when caring about clockspeed was a thing. whoa hey cool they got 'em up to 900 MHZ!!! 1GHz, here we come!

and then intel was all gung-ho about how in 10 years processors will be running at 10 billion gazillion ghz (lol netburst nice thermals you got there)

# ¿ Jul 10, 2014 15:24

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

pram posted:

yyyeeeesssssss

# ¿ Jul 31, 2014 21:50

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Wheany posted:

i think it could be improved by having the characters also wipe into view from under the cursor, that would be really cool. also, have both the cursor move and the text appear at a constant speed, like 10 pixels per second.

also if the paragraph is justified, when the last wort is too long for the line, have it "swoop" smoothly to the start of the next row and also have all the other words "swoop" to their proper justified locations.

just throwing some ideas out there.

it's you! YOU! YOU'RE THE IDEAS GUY! GET HIM!!!

# ¿ Aug 1, 2014 17:58

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

infernal machines posted:

just a reminder that microsoft's last ui innovation before the ribbon was "smart menus"

basically, "gently caress your muscle memory, these menus are a mess, so let's dynamically rearange your access to features and functions on the fly". we'll hide poo poo at random based on whatever you used last, ensuring you spend twice as much time unhiding and searching for stuff

in context, the ribbon was an improvement

eesh blech yuck

thanks for reminding me about that awful poo poo, wow

# ¿ Aug 3, 2014 17:20

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

pram posted:

mice are really lovely these days... ive had like 3 logitechs develop this awful double clicking issue. microsoft used to make good mouses

remember, you can blame logitech's decline in quality on google tv, they put so much money into that shitpile it almost killed the company

its been something like 7 years since logitech updated their flagship mouse, the only new stuff they ever make anymore are ~*~gAmInG~*~ peripherals and dumb trash for ipads that no one uses :rip:

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 13:29

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Wheany posted:

what is their flagship mouse?

Shaggar posted:

it used to be the mx revolution but now its this turd that sucks called the performance mx. I just want an updated mx revolution! why have you abandoned me Logitech!

shaggar...was right!

# ¿ Aug 7, 2014 16:40

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

IE8 or older in a totally sandboxed VM. Forever.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 17:19

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

the beauty of microsoft's licensing is that even they don't understand it themselves, so if you ever have a problem just keep calling MS until you get the answer you want!

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 19:29

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

it gets even better when you install office, that easily doubles the amount of updates needed on a fresh install

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 16:44

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Wheany posted:

This is relevant again http://wheany.com/ms-branding/

as long as microsoft is in business, this will be relevant, and you are a good person for making it

pagoe posted:

unironically better than all alternatives. only downside was 500kb emote size limit

we use lotus notes at work and it is poo poo poo poo poo poo, but sametime is shockingly decent. it functions more or less like a chat program from 2003 and that is absolutely fine. i wish more companies would understand this, sometimes you manage to nail down a featureset and you can stop tossing on stupid bullshit.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2014 16:07

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Pinterest Mom posted:

microsoft is buying mojang for 2 billion dollars

this might actually be funnier than todays apple keynote

# ¿ Sep 10, 2014 01:16

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Sham bam bamina! posted:

metro is bad because giant purple/green/blue/orange voids with barely-differentiable monochrome icons floating in the middle combine the space efficiency of atm menu touch targets (atms are literally the only other place where you'll find huge dumbass touch targets like that) with the readability of loving geos

and those colors are horrible to look at for more than a few seconds

the recent design trend of FLATFLATFLATFLATFLAT no gradients no shadows no textures is awful and makes everything look like lifeless loving dogshit. low contrast, everything is low contrast as well and really bright, its terrible

im not sure if it started with google or MS though, and i still think iOS 7 looks like trash

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 15:23

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

minecraft is kinda fun at first. gather resources and defend yourself from monsters, build a little fort or whatever hey neat

unfortunately doing anything more than building a stone hut is agonizingly tedious, which is bad because it is more sandbox than game. this is why spergs and 10 year olds love it

# ¿ Sep 14, 2014 04:22

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

microsoft is gonna let it rot like every other goddamn acquisition they've made

# ¿ Sep 15, 2014 21:42

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

theadder posted:

Update: Microsoft fielded some questions about this upgrade in its Q&A session after the event. The company "hasn't decided" how it will handle upgrades from Windows 7 or 8.1 after the first year of Windows 10 availability end

of course they don't have this poo poo figured out yet

what'll end up happening is last-minute, panicked decision making resulting in just letting people keep the upgrade, no charge

that's assuming they even go through with the free upgrade plan at all, I can totally see them backing out of this when we get closer to win10's release

# ¿ Jan 22, 2015 14:22

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

lol @ the slight thread title change

# ¿ Jan 22, 2015 23:45

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

jesus loving christ

windows 7 until the heat death of the universe, i guess :smith:

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 16:10

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Happy_Misanthrope posted:

the start menu search is gone btw, when you start typing in the search field on the taskbar it just overlays the search pane over the start menu instead of just replacing the contents of the sm with your search results

slow as gently caress as well, as it's basically a modern app that behaves like it's drawing an html page on top of the desktop - because that's basically what it's doing - of course no right-click functionality or drag and drop even if you expand those sections as the results dialog is still 'modern' and thus has little to no interaction with the desktop

of course all these new apps don't use subpixel cleartype, so now even the taskbar renders text differently from the desktop

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 18:41

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Beeftweeter posted:

lmao oh god this is worse than longhorn was

all of it

i bet they're going to have to scrap development and start over just like longhorn

i unironically hope this happens...but in all likelihood it won't. there's too much stuff out there now, they are calling this piece of poo poo a beta, they aren't going to back down. full steam ahead towards terrible ideas and implementations

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 18:42

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

pseudorandom name posted:

there is no way to turn off web results or app store results.

gently caress

i'm betting that what we're seeing now is the result of various groups fighting, specifically whatever dipshits were/are responsible for the metro/modern/tablet crap. it initially looked like MS was actually backing down on having metro bullshit being so prominent on a desktop system, but now here we are with this build and its probably from the metro group forcing their way in on things

whole bunch of assholes still carrying the ballmer flag

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 00:42

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

uncurable mlady posted:

the real funny part is that it looks like they may have actually fixed sand boxing in IE this time, you know, something that would immeasurably improve the health of the Internet by keeping people's pcs from becoming botnet slaves quite as easily

but it will never be backported, no one will upgrade, and the real problem is from the legion of xp boxes that will never loving die

we will find xp in use for the next two loving decades, minimum

lol longer than that, you still find things today running on PDP and VAX stuff. XP was used for shitloads of industrial, embedded, and appliance type things. just gotta hope and pray they are kept totally isolated from any kind of network

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 22:47

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

i wonder if any of that has hosed up how things work with corporate environments, with WSUS or SCCM or whatever in place. i mean it might just really be cosmetic changes but seeing as how this is the new microsoft without the bloat of a QA department, anythings possible really!!

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 00:32

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

shadow puppet of a posted:

well that settles it then, i guess this is what it feels like to turn into one of those old dingbats still running dos to get along just fine with ansi-view word processing

you cant wilfully decide to skip two full os releases and not develop an interest in ham radio and sea captains hats

i look forward to designing myself a spiffy qsl card and storing old bits of wire in coffee cans

Phoenixan posted:

becoming one of those hardcore amiga fans who cling to amiga os and try to make it work in the modern world at any cost

except windows 7

pretty sure this is literally my future

i am still too much of a smelly nerdlord to get an imac or whatever (a pc should not be 100% hermetically sealed gently caress u ghost-jobs let me put in my own rams)

i dunno maybe give it a few years and i'll get better

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 02:15

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

pram posted:

you can put ram into a 27 inch imac

oh how about that. lol @ soldered ram in the 21"

also still needlessly complex to get to the goddamn hard drive

listen i said im a curmudgeon ok JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 02:21

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Amethyst posted:

so that's what lunixarchduke has been up to

# ¿ Jan 29, 2015 00:22

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

univbee posted:

i accidentally ventured into sh/sc and found a grey thread on windows 10. the op has this in it

i don't even

that op is so weirdly positive. i dont understand how anyone could unironically defend/shill for win10 so much

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 15:32

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

some goons just love crafting long, excessively formatted megathreads for e-cred or something idk. even if a thing is poo poo, or something few people care about at all, GOTTA MAKE THAT MEGATHREAD *creates section header images, custom bullet point graphics*

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 15:37

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

windows 95 unironically looks better and is more cohesive in design than windows 10

Thanks Ants posted:

watching microsoft floundering for 5 years in their attempts to make a desktop os that people actively want to use is more than anything else at this point

# ¿ Feb 22, 2015 20:16

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

ahmeni posted:

sorry I mean I stream steam games over wifi from my windows box to my MacBook Air connected via AirPlay to an Apple TV to my TV that I use a ps4 controller to play

im the latency

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 14:14

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

shitface posted:

don't know if this was already posted microsoft released an ocr app for iOS and android

http://www.macrumors.com/2015/04/02/microsoft-launches-office-lens-for-iphone/

i just tried it on a really hosed full sheet of a4 i've been carrying in my back pocket for days that's worn and has holes at some of the creases and it it made exactly one mistake. it failed to capitalise a single line and indented it one space. all other text rendered perfectly in word format, including underlines.

the divergence between the office and mobile teams vs the windows team continues

microsoft actually has some damned good technology here and there, it is just frequently smothered by management. every now and then some of it escapes with only a thin film of management stuck to it (in this case the only storage option being onedrive because mobile first cloud first)

this is starting to annoy me quite a bit though, anyone who does cloud poo poo is desperate to keep you in their ecosystem, the problem being no one does everything well so i end up with things stored across way too many providers

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 15:50

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

carry on then posted:

can you even change the theme in windows 8 without windowblinds?

so XP had visual styles, you'd just need a hacked dll to use third party themes

im pretty sure there was something vaguely similar for win7, but third party styles never got as popular as with XP

sort of surprised nothing has come up for win8, but then again maybe this is just because PCs are dying and no one gives a poo poo

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 15:52

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Pinterest Mom posted:

i've got too many things in too many butts

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 15:53

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

shadow puppet of a posted:

'so what do we have lined up for the gaming side'
'we'll we've figured out a way to incentivize kids to crawl into a gas fireplace, subverting hundreds of thousands of years of natural fire-pit instincts'

making good use of that $2.5 billion minecraft acquisition

# ¿ Apr 4, 2015 22:45

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

shadow puppet of a posted:

microsoft has named the successor windows 10 'redstone' as halo-names are so 2015

surely securing that name validates some of the the 2.5bn spent, surely

hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

# ¿ Apr 7, 2015 23:36

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Ice_2_c_u posted:

ugh, all of our intranet pages look like this

controlling font smoothing with css should be illegal

*explicitly disables subpixel rendering* duuurrrhurr im a web developer it looks more better on my display!!

# ¿ Apr 10, 2015 15:03

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

ballmer cancer lol

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 14:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 2, 2024 08:40

SO DEMANDING: Dec 27, 2003

Luigi Thirty posted:

Microsoft apparently does not trust businesses to patch their own poo poo but they trust enterprises? lol

I work with MSPs and they're so loving mad because it will be impossible to manage their clients' updates but they're also convinced it'll be changed before release

good to see microsoft still diligently working towards completely loving small MSPs

of course the long-term goal is to cut them out completely with their own services, why get an MSP when you can just buy a yearly subscription to Microsoft Azure with Bing! Windows for Computer Workgroups 10.11 (subscription includes office 365 pro, ~~communicator~~ ~~lync~~ skype for business and a gazillion terabytes on ~~skydrive~~ ~~onedrive~~ halo drive)

too bad no business is ever gonna go for that

# ¿ Apr 24, 2015 14:13

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

«‹›3 »