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Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Wanamingo posted:

Sex tips count as a lifehack, right?





From here and here.

These people have to have the worse sex lives ever and they're intent on making everyone elses miserable as hell too.

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Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.
Woe to the white man whose crayons roll away. Woe I say.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.



Please ruin your electric plugs instead of spending a dollar on a screwdriver

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

dog days are over posted:

I used to buy those lovely Take a Break/Full House etc magazines a lot when waiting for the bus was like 30% of my day, and the top tips were always my favourite thing because most of them were just such stupid pointless poo poo. They were normally things like 'got a container that used to hold something but is now empty? use it as a container for a new and different thing!'

Went hunting for some online and found all the ones I remember reading in the magazines that I particularly enjoyed:



'An event happened, so I used the function of a camera to create a visual reminder of it'

Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. I can take a picture, and it will help the memory last longer? What witchery is this?

Also I will now bring a bag of doritos with me whenever I travel in case I get stranded in the wilderness. I can use the food to light a fire so I can cook my food. Gonna put an emergency bag in my glove box.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Gorilla Salad posted:

Konami code*!




*Not the Konami code.

This poo poo has been around since forever. I remember in middle school kids talking about how if you push in the right sequence of buttons on a soda machine, it'd let you get a free soda. Like press Coke, Sprite, Coke, Diet Coke, Root Beer, Coin Return. Or whatever. It was supposed to be some sort maintenance thing to make sure the vending was working properly.

No one ever got it to work.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Optimist with doubt posted:

If you must grind up cookies in a pepper mill why use oreos? You are causing so much work for yourself since oreos have cream. The better choice if you must is to use wafers


Lifehack:
If you are going to be fat and lazy be fat and lazy properly

Because you can then eat a bowl of oreo cream, duh.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Why microwave it? That's a trip across the house and lots of waiting. Just eat it out of the jar. Don't forget to make a spoon rest out of a paper towel beforehand, though.

If you're reduced to eating pork'n'beans you might as well just eat it out of the can like the homeless person you are or are about to become.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Karma Monkey posted:

I like that name a lot better than Home Ec. Speaking of cooking and making stuff...

Ok, who's done this one and how did it turn out?




Isn't this just cake?

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.
The five dollar thing is just a variation of your typical saving money method when it isn't that easy. Every time you swear, a dollar in the jar. Only use a card and any cash you get you save. Take ten dollars out of every paycheck and put it in a savings account. Eventually you just forget about the ten dollars being taken out and think of it as like taxes and poo poo.

Way back when, when I actually had a girlfriend we had a put a dollar in the box whenever we have sex thing going. The whole point is that saving money can actually be kind of easy when you put it somewhere you don't spend and keep adding to it.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Karma Monkey posted:

Ok, I can believe panthers went into the caves to eat the cavegoons, but not the mammoths. :colbert:


Hey, want diabetes, but it's taking too much time and effort? Here's a great lifehack! It's like a Paula Deen - Sandra Lee collaboration.



And that jar doesn't really look "almost finished," does it?



VVV I was looking at the top.

Almost finished with your bag of cheeto's? Just dump some Cool Ranch doritos in there and keep eating you ingenious bastard you.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

TVarmy posted:

Here's a lifehack for hotel coffee makers that THEY don't want you to know. "They" being the DEA.
http://www.waff.com/story/5980064/think-twice-before-using-hotel-room-coffee-pots


I am 99% sure this is a hoax. But if it doesn't work in real life, that makes it even more of a lifehack!

I don't know why they chose meth as the drug as choice, which is a freaking chemistry process as anyone who's even heard of Breaking Bad knows. If they had said something like ketamine, maybe that'd be a bit more believable.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Dienes posted:

Its okay, he uses green beans instead.

Oh god I missed that. The texture of that chili has got to be :barf:

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.
And since it'd be such a pain in the rear end to roll back from your desk every time you need to use the bathroom, just piss in the box yourself as well!

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

TVarmy posted:

Did you know Bisquick, a mix designed to make baking a brain dead and forgiving task, can create biscuits and you can SEASON those biscuits?


To be fair though, that probably is the same recipe Red Lobster uses. Though I would be kind of surprised that cheddar bay biscuits wouldn't use Old Bay, especially at Red Lobster.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.
Lifehackable is a satire site, right?

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

quote:

Some running shorts are often manufactured with a minimal brief inside them and these are designed specifically to allow rapid transfer of moisture but only if you don't wear underwear with them. You may still choose to wear underwear if you find you prefer the feeling of urinating through them, or in the case of running shorts that don't have a built-in brief.

When you perform a courtesy pee in your running shorts and you are wearing underwear under them, it will spread the urine more, but the shorts will dry quickly, so there is no harm in doing it again and again.

Consider wearing a very tight pair of jeans, the thinner the material the better. This will minimize the damage by restricting the spreading inside them and forcing the urine straight through your underwear and the crotch of your jeans. If they are not tight enough, your urine will spread inside them soaking both your underwear and your jeans and be very obvious.

How tight to have your underwear and/or pants is a matter of trial and error. You will need to experiment to get this right and the first couple of times you probably will soak your underwear and/or pants.

What no this is all completely normal and how everyone pees obviously.

(who the hell can pee through denim?)

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Vordhosbn posted:


Brilliant.


Maybe this is common knowledge, but I don't own a phone. What exactly is the zip lock baggie for?

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Turfahurf posted:

Something to hang it from/in. It won't work very well.

So it's not in a backseat pocket in that pic? Where is the bottom half of the phone? Did they photoshop that off?

Edit: It's being held sideways, I get it now.

Leper Residue has a new favorite as of 07:37 on Aug 19, 2014

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Planet Piss posted:

Maybe they haven't heard this Lifehack:

Buy a bottle of ketchup at the store to have as much ketchup as you need!

And when you run out, you can take the bottle to the fast food place and refill it there for free!

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

RandomFerret posted:

I refreshed all of these links a bunch of times trying to get them to load. I want to believe in toilet bread.

I'm mad cause I wanted to know what rocks I could eat.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Karma Monkey posted:

And you're too obnoxiously snobby to just use a scoop of instant coffee. Where are you traveling that you have access to a mug and boiling water, but not a coffee pot or complimentary coffee?

But this way you get to use your fancy pants gourmet coffee instead of that trashy instant folgers stuff the hotel has.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

kazil posted:

Just go out and buy a coffee.

But that's not a life hack. You need to add something like using the free milk they have there to put in your cereal.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

The only one that doesn't seem unnecessary or stupid is the doggy harness thing, cause loving having a big ol' golden retriever try to climb into your lap while driving down the road.

The rest seems like the crap you'd find at a Brookstones. The "Smart Swipe" seems like something my grandma would buy just to have her identity stolen anyways.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Pomp posted:

Just buy some loving sausage, oh my god.

Sausage is usually pork, so it might not be for everyone, but they do in fact make beef hotdogs.

Also is that the finished product in the background? They look like terds with condiments.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

The first time I needed a wallet, I went out and bought a 30 dollar leather wallet. I have had that same wallet for 14 years now. This loving thing looks like it would tear in half after about a day.

I got my wallet from Hot Topic 16 years ago, 20 some dollar leather wallet which at the time had a huge chain attached to it. The thing is still doing great and without the chain I can now wear it out in public. Short of losing it, I don't see having to buy a new one anytime soon.

Lifehack, take a pair of jeans, cut out the back pocket and stitch it into the shape of a wallet. Then sew it back onto the jeans Now, no one will know you have a wallet and if they try they won't be able to steal it from you!

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

For when your child is literally incapable of eating food like a normal person.

Also those apples aren't sliced, probably because it'd be a huge pain in the rear end to do that hack.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

bringmyfishback posted:

I'm gonna do this tonight.

I, uh...I don't have kids.

Look at this high baller here, willing to commit federal crimes for pretty money they can afford to just throw away. You should sparkle your yacht and 4 story mansion.

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

bringmyfishback posted:

I will sparkle whatever the hell I want! It is the Ultimate Lifehack!

Fine, but it's Tooth Fairy money so you better be ripping out a tooth for every bill you sparkle!

Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

bringmyfishback posted:

NO ONE SAID THEY HAD TO BE MY TEETH

JUST GIVE HER THE TEETH SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE SPARKLES!

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Leper Residue
Sep 28, 2003

To where no dog has gone before.

that's not a life hack at all

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