Miniatures Unspiration: I have nipples, Greg, can you paint me?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > Miniatures Unspiration: I have nipples, Greg, can you paint me?

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HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 04:28

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:26

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Shallow posted:

Remember, kids: If you don't go to Church, Church will go to you :black101:

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 10:05

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

SRM posted:

Astral Caws? :v:

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 17:04

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Pierzak posted:

"It's OK to paint Nazi stuff on your fantasy tanks as long as there's no swastikas! "

You're obviously not a game designer. Nazis are free game so long as you sub out swastikas with the Iron Cross :v:

In all fairness, those are some impressive paintjobs (obvious Nazi iconography aside). If the MLP Knight was painted that well ~~it might not cop so much poo poo~~ who am I kidding, the MLP Knight would still be a heavily ridiculed bucket of poo poo even if the painter was competent.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2014 05:57

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Waci posted:

A... metal band?

No, but you're likely to get acquainted with a lot of skinheads if you wear that shirt around too often. Either the neo-Nazi kind or the SHARP kind. Your choice.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 03:23

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen: Blue Table Painting!

I mean it isn't horrible, but a commission job should be painted a lot neater than that. Honourable mention to the spotty gold on the fist shield and the blue looks like a crayon job.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2014 16:04

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Randalor posted:

I kinda want to know the story behind how this came to be. I mean, if it's a case of the guy having a young daughter that wanted to learn to play the game but wanted to play with the ponies, that's actually kind of sweet.

If it's a bronie inflicting his "love" of MLP on people, he should die in a fire.

This reminds me, one of the guys at my gaming club is a brony, and when one of the older (late 30s/early 40s) MTG players heard about it he called out to him "My Little Pony? You mean the poo poo my 2 year old daughter watches?".
The look of shame on the brony's face was absolutely priceless.

Babe Magnet posted:

The document that's on the left of the diorama is a restraining order.

Probably a proud memento from his ex-girlfriend :v:

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 04:08

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Sydney Bottocks posted:

Shawn Gately's comments on that video are hilarious, too. It's basically BTP trying to either spin things in their favor, pretending nothing is wrong, or blaming the client for poor communication as to why things turned out the way they did.

Isn't that the first rule of retail? The customer is always wrong :v:

Wait, maybe I've got that around the wrong way. Stockholm syndrome does that to you :shrug:

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 07:36

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

El Estrago Bonito posted:

Does anyone have pics of the all Dryad WHFB Wood Elf army that was 90% different model railroad trees and hedges with googly eyes glued on?

I think I need this in my life :allears:

# ¿ Oct 13, 2014 07:22

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Babe Magnet posted:

lmao at comparing talent to the lottery. It's terrible subject matter but that skill was practiced and earned, not genetic.

Keep practicing. Those eyes will be less googly eventually.

The dude probably has far more motivation to paint, too (which might be thanks to the cheesecake models that he is painting).

Moola posted:

its like when really artistically gifted people waste their talents on bronie poo poo and hentai porn.

As someone who cant draw/paint that well it pisses me off, just give me your loving talent your obviously dont need it!

A thousand times this. Krursk was working with a pretty talented artist on an indie game many years ago, who wanted to turn it from a cool high fantasy setting to a furry wankfest.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2014 06:49

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

VendaGoat posted:

This thread brings a warm feeling to the cockles of my heart.

Well you got the 'cock' part right with the wet nurse and other Kingdom Death-related posts :v:

Pierzak posted:

Hey guys do you know this Infinity game which has amazing models and their the best and

guys?

Are you serious?
I think this should be the next oathbreaker avatar, just like that one lucky goon who got the scrunt one.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2014 14:44

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

I wish I could remember. Someone from the oath thread should know who it is though.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2014 15:41

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

At least you aren't buying female Satan with a skirt made of dicks!

# ¿ Nov 11, 2014 08:25

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

poo poo, Numlock wasn't wrong about the THINURPAINTS on some of those models. The Menoth dudes ave visible chunks of paint on the white, and those guardians look like somebody decided using chalk on black primer is a legitimate way to 'paint' miniatures. What the actual gently caress, BTP?

# ¿ Nov 12, 2014 07:49

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Grey Hunter posted:

And the thread wins.

I was an average painter back in my you - for a 10-17 year old. I took a break and now I'm painting again, and I used to consider myself an average painter. But looking at stuff from BTP and Mantic and Dakka Dakka threads, I'm willing to upgrade myself to Good.

Current scale reads

Thats a model? -> Terrible -> Poor -> Blue Table Painting -> Average -> Above Average -> Good -> Great -> Amazing -> Is that really a model?

The average goon; officially better painters than a professional* studio

*based on BTP's self-claim of being professionals

# ¿ Nov 12, 2014 10:56

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Gumdrop Larry posted:

You guys a nice clean, smooth coat of white is super tricky ok jesus

So is a clean, smooth coat of anything that isn't primer, according to BTP :v:

# ¿ Nov 12, 2014 16:33

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

The Dark Project posted:

Not only is it private correspondence, it's also redacted and edited to hell to make him look like the good guy. Tenebre from the DakkaDakka forum had it sent over to him upon request from another user who was sent it, and said it was chopped and changed a hell of a lot to make him look like the bad guy.

I hope he is able to get his money back in small claims court. gently caress Gately. A friend of mine loves the guy because he does what he wishes he could (I guess that means run a painting service which rips off its clients?), and convinced another friend to get some miniatures painted by BTP and sent to him for his Infinity force. He chose level 4 or 5 I think, and seriously they were worse than what even my friends meagre talent could achieve. He was so angry about it, despite my other friends protestations that they were good for what they cost (they weren't).

Has everyone learnt their lesson now (that particular friend is a loving idiot for recommending BTP)? You should tell the other dude should sell his models off to the Gately fanboy for full retail price plus BTP cost, if the dude rates that poo poo so highly he has no right to turn down that demand.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 09:41

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Indolent Bastard posted:

Since this is now the commission painting thread I guess this might be worth contributing: Painting Commission Do's & Don'ts

"a very well-known painting service that shall remain nameless. Let's just say they have a colour and a piece of furniture in their name"
Gee, I wonder who this is about :eyeroll:

# ¿ Nov 14, 2014 17:00

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

SRM posted:

Thine chest is the purest!

# ¿ Nov 17, 2014 15:11

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

I'm still hanging onto hope that someone finds that Dryad army consisting of model railway trees with googly eyes.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2014 17:05

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

JcDent posted:

Also, "Master Race" is a stupid, stupid, stupid name for a chapter, how can a thousand dude collective be any sort of race...

Because they have the purest geneseed, of course! :rolleyes:

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 14:07

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

YF19pilot posted:

Hell, the Germans learned that big obvious markings make excellent targets when the Polish anti-tank gunners kept hitting their tanks in that exact spot! 40k is obviously meant to be over the top in it's premise and regalia, but if you want "German WWII" aesthetic without being "that guy" who puts swastikas on everything, why not just stick to basic German Field Gray or the classic trio of Dunkelgelb/Olivgrun/Rotbraun that adorned so many PIVs? Or you know what, don't paint loving space Nazis in a game that doesn't have space Nazis!

I find the thought of Polish military doing something effectively to be quite unbelievable, considering they were the ones that issued the last cavalry charge in history (against a Panzer division of all things, which is like sprinting at a double-brick wall and expecting to go through!).

I'm totally fine with people painting stuff up German Field Grey with converted period helmets, because that can look pretty cool and it reminds me of the Dust Tactics stuff which is tastefully done Axis in alternate WWII and most Axis players don't throw swastikas everywhere because a) they fluffed it so Hitler and all his main men got killed off and replaced by people who weren't frothing mad over segregation, and b) painting bigass swastikas on your tanks is a sure-fire way to make sure you get shot there. It also makes you look like a white supremacist.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2014 08:19

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Numlock posted:

Meanwhile I actually overheard some warhams guys talking about how painting was a waste of time because learning how to thin paints properly was too hard.

Stay classy, young hams :allears:

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 00:24

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

TheInvisiblePooka posted:

In fact, back in fourth edition, it was common for people to not put a base on their models unless they could not stand on their own (another rule stated if your model could not remain upright on any sort of terrain, it died). This was because the base of the model was considered part of the model, and therefore made the volume larger.

In the grim darkness, there is only grassy fields (since everyone had the same bright green bases).

# ¿ Nov 21, 2014 17:21

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

rkajdi posted:

It's not someone getting jumped on, it's drinking from the firehose. When you're starting out, the best advice isn't all this wet pallet or thinned paint stuff, it's more getting a good color scheme that you can pound out for the 100-200 figures in your army, and getting enough technical know-how to allow for it to look good on the tabletop. I envision the noob thread as a way to get people from zero to competently done army in as short a time with the minimal amount of pain possible.

Internet maleification is the idea that there's this rising standard, to the point that you can act like an internet male (i.e. she has a mole, would not date) about figures that would have been fine a few years ago. I remain unconvinced that the actual median of painting has improved much if at all, but the upper end has opened way up, to the point that basic 90s painting is now regarded as too crappy to ever actually use on the table. Net result I've seen is a lot more unpainted armies, and a lot of "Does devlin mud count as a color?" three color tournie armies. To the point that I've been to recent moderately-sized (20-30 person) events where I've done 2nd or 3rd painting with a dipped army. And not because it's great, but because so few people even get to the point of having a fully painted WFB army, much less one that's competently painted (no primer showing)

I don't know how people can tolerate only playing with a so-close-to-zero-effort 3 colour army, it ain't hard to have a bit of pride with stuff!
I do like the idea of a newbie painting thread though, I'm a pretty decent painter and even I get a little daunted by the megathread.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 04:10

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Len posted:

I've played a laundry list of games and the closest I came to painted was a primed army. I play because I find miniature games more enjoyable than card games. I'd be okay with prepainted and plastic if those games were as fun as the ones that require assembly.

Honestly, I have a ton of models I just can't be bothered painting too. When I do get the motivation to start painting, I do it properly though and put in some effort. I just think it's pointless getting your paints and brushes ready only to throw on the minimum 3 colours and call it a day.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 05:03

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Numlock posted:

3 Colors (and a wash for shading) is fine, if you don't just slap it on like a moron.

That's what we were talking about earlier (the "Ddoes Devlan Mud count as a colour?" crowd).

El Estrago Bonito posted:

Maybe if you only play one game you can get by with not having anything unpainted, but I play like 5-10 different minis games in your average month and I wouldn't get to play if I spent all my time painting.

This is why I started playing skirmish games. Painting a force of 10-20 minis is far more manageable than painting whole squads of 10-20 of them.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 06:34

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

JcDent posted:

Living the good life, huh? I kind of envy you.

Also, why is Devlan Mud so infamous?

Washes are pretty much talent in a bottle, but Painting your Space Marine with blue armour, a metal gun and throwing a single wash over it is not going to make it look good (contrary to the beliefs of some). When someone doesn't put any effort into shading/drybrushing or any other methods of producing variance in colour, they're just staining it with a shade of brown.

BULBASAUR posted:

Thin your paints, drill ur bolters plz

Don't forget the bases! The megathread goons will hardly even look at your work if it isn't based (unless it's obviously a WIP, I guess).

# ¿ Nov 22, 2014 11:28

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

That strikes me as strange as well. The ship itself is sloppy and looks like rear end, but the freehand is actually quite good.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 04:39

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Calico Noose posted:

People mocked me for pointing out the trend of Warhammer bread armies at the start of this thread. Now I bask in my well earned smugness.

Are you kidding? There people must've never seen the gingerbreadnought or even the Emperor-class titan made of the same material.

Exinos posted:

HD rhino loving owns.

There's no squads inside that thing; only STCs :v:

Realtalk: I had a chat to a guy that worked in a GW store until quite recently and heard some pretty interesting stuff. Downright indoctrination of the staff to hit sales targets being one, a limit per-quarter on the amount of stuff they would claim their staff discount on, and they apparently even have people writing out lines if they make a mistake. poo poo, I haven't had to do that since primary school :wtc:

Oh, and staff discount is 50% off. That's a looooot of markup for plastic dudes.

I only just met the guy so I can't verify if he was bullshitting me or not, so there may be some exaggerations in there.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2014 12:07

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

We're talking about Australian GW stores here, where 10 Grey Knights are $100.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2014 12:37

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

I'd like to see a Russell Crowe themed Catachan army or something, with everyone converted to be wielding fishing nets and reception-desk telephones :australia:

# ¿ Dec 11, 2014 11:00

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

adamantium|wang posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqBotowPfC4

Oh God that icon on the Rhino

BTP are not watching the thread, not at all :rolleyes:

Bonus points for the verbal fellatio towards the thread owner's army, just in case the legitimacy of the 'experiment' wasn't already shady enough. I mean that is a pretty cool Cypher conversion but one of the converted Nurgle Marines has balls on his chin at 2:11.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2014 11:57

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Soulfucker posted:

I think we found a new breed of Scrunts

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 00:16

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

Moola posted:

the slenderscrunt

Scrunterman :spooky:

# ¿ Dec 20, 2014 04:51

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

++BRACING COMPLETE++
+ACTIVATION SEQUENCE INITIATING+
+PULSE ARRAY CHARGING+
+++GROIN CANNON - - - FIRING+++

# ¿ Dec 23, 2014 07:12

HiveCommander: Jun 19, 2012

LordAba posted:

I don't have a problem with "animals as humans" in general, but the furry term just has... negative connotations to it. The negative being you like to gently caress animals.

Something like Brushfire / Mousegard / etc is pretty awesome... the old Redwall theme. But Brushfire is about cat Napoleon fighting German hamster berzerkers while Spanish Mousekateers shoot into the whole mess, and isn't creepy.

Leperflesh posted:

"Furry" fandom is the new thing of people wanting to either become animal-like, or have sex with animal-like people. That's creepy, because it's an attempt to normalize bestiality. It's also creepy because it co-opts children's cartoon/live TV show iconography and costuming designs, importing a paedophilia subtext.

The worst part of furries and their fandom is the way it corrupts actually-good fantasy/SF works that involve aliens/fantasy races with both human-like and animal-like characteristics. It ought to be OK to want to play a Watership Down-inspired RPG, but you can't do it any more without someone probably assuming you're a furry who wants to gently caress rabbits or something.

'Furry' has horrible, horrible connotations to it and people should be downright ashamed to outright say they "have no problems catering to the 'furry' market". It's almost as bad as someone honestly admitting they "have no problems catering to the paedophile market".
Typical internet though; if it exists, some creepy fucker will find it arousing enough to turn it into porn because that's the kind of place the internet can be.

As Leperfish says, it also ruins a lot of classic-themed RPG races. Having to think "if I play as a Kitsune or a Tengu in this campaign, will someone wrongly assume I'm a furry?" before making your character really puts a downer on it, especially if you find playing Human characters generic and bland (Never not be a Dwarf :colbert:

). It also fucks with people's perceptions of cosplay too, one of my previous housemates was under the impression that cat ears=furry, not being able to comprehend the difference between someone putting on ears and a tail for a costume and some creepy fucker asking their partner to wear the wolf suit to bed.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2014 05:14