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Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
How have the decks looked so far today?

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Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

mcmagic posted:

That's what you think I look like? Christ.

No way, this is:

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Pyronic posted:

Can someone explain this? Is he known for having cheated somewhere before?

Alex Bertoncini was banned for 18 months for cheating, and has been reportedly caught cheating as recently as GP Phoenix in April.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Tracula posted:

I get maybe not tapping something or slipping an extra card into your hand going unnoticed. How the gently caress do you miss someone playing an extra land on turn two? I'm mostly a kitchen table scrub and this is insanely obvious poo poo to me.

This is a good question, one that merits exploring in some detail.









































This is a good question, one that merits exploring in some detail.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
I don't think there's been a big Modern tournament yet, though SCG's run a couple Modern IQs at their Opens this weekend. Don't see any decklists for those yet.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
Yeah, raw card advantage doesn't depend on your cards being powerful so much as them being interchangeable. It's rare for any given card to be as good as any other given card in a particular situation which is why the idea of 'card advantage' is so much more complicated than just counting pieces of cardboard.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Nehru the Damaja posted:

That's pretty much the entirety of competitive Magic though. I'm not gonna take one side or another about the wisdom of including legacy staples in Modern, but "it would kill cool decks" doesn't seem like much of an argument. If cool decks take primacy over all else, we'd be playing some weird format with like... Astral Slide, D&T, and Heartless Summoning.

They should really reprint Slide and Lightning Rift in Modern. At LEAST give us the cycling lands so we can Loam 'em back.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Zero_Grade posted:

I remember the CFB crew stumbling over that one during Modern Masters drafts.

I swear everyone who does videos for CFB is subject to a style guide that makes them all pronounce Pithing Needle wrong.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
This leads me to wonder: which MTG player would be the least surprising murderer? My money's on Conley Woods.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Elyv posted:

answer is clearly Patrick Chapin, he was in jail for some time

Yeah but it'd be surprising if he killed someone again

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Nehru the Damaja posted:

(PS: I'm pretty sure some guy he was working with really did die while Chapin was locked up. There's just nothing at all that indicates he had any part in it or that it was even foul play. But it's fun to pretend.)

It gets us great jokes like "wow, Chapin is killing this PT like it was about to testify against him"

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Serperoth posted:

So speaking of Chapin, when's he coming back to SCG stream commentary?

He's just intoxicating when he does that, it's always killing me.

He and Sullivan make an incredible double act. He's not in the booth again until the Invitational in December, though.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

odiv posted:

Eh, it's a mute point anyway.

You...!

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
I think Jeskai and Mardu are upgrades on the terms we had before, Sultai and Temur aren't, and Abzan is kind of a wash (Junk is one syllable and catchier, however it's stupid nonsense and doesn't mean anything except that it tumbled out of Adrian Sullivan's dusty old noggin at some point around the turn of the millennium). Making a unilateral decision to use all of the clan names in coverage and writing smacks of goofy brand jockeying but at the same time it's hard to empathize with someone who's upset that new words are being 'forced on them'.

In short the clan names are a land of contrasts,

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Sickening posted:

How would it be aggro either?

It's got efficient creatures to beat down with and burn spells for reach. Jeskai Aggro or Jeskai Burn are definitely the names I'd give that deck depending on its precise configuration, according to the [Color Combination] [Macro-Archetype] name scheme. Jeskai Midrange isn't indefensible either but even the classically midrangey cards like removal and Planeswalkers largely exists to clear blockers rather than to establish board control.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Bread Set Jettison posted:

The Rock and His Millions remains king of deck names

As far as old timey deck names go I've always been partial to The Baron Harkonnen.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Angry Grimace posted:

I have no clue what "tempo" even means in terms of a deck or a card. :shrug:

Reid Duke had a good article about the basics of tempo as a Magic term on the Mothership last week. It's basically reducible to board advantage which is itself basically reducible to using your mana effectively.

As far as a 'tempo deck' it's about using disruption to convert an early board advantage into a win. Delver of Secrets decks are a common example.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Veyrall posted:

I gotta know, what deck went around with this name?

It's a blue control deck that shuffles relevant cards back into the deck with Gaea's Blessing, it's sort of a more precise version of a recent Elixir of Immortality deck.

Adrian Sullivan writes about the deck (various iterations across formats from 1997 to 2007) here.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

AlternateNu posted:

Two random items: how long has it been since a set has had neither dragons nor angels printed in it?

The answer, funnily enough, is 'since Dragon's Maze' (there's no angels in DGM or any of Theros block but there was one dragon in every set of Theros'). Dragon's Maze had Dragonshift which technically produced dragon tokens, but if we count Dragonshift as a dragon then we'd have to count Sarkhan too.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.
Emrakul, the Aeons Torn is not a practical Magic card.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Veyrall posted:

Actually, was Yawgmoth himself super-powerful, or was it just his army?

I mean, his will alone-

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

neetengie posted:

So based on what Yawgmoth did as a doc, he would be the Magic version of Josef Goebbels correct? Unless I'm getting him confused with another Nazi.

You're thinking of Mengele.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

JerryLee posted:

What about Ob Nixilis? Do I have it wrong that he was a demon planeswalker who lost his spark?

He was a planeswalker before he became a demon IIRC.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

First Bass posted:

Then why the gently caress are they speculating on wizard poker instead of killing Hitler?

This is easily resolved: if you speculate on Magic cards... you are Hitler.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

cheetah7071 posted:

Pearl Lake Ancient is clearly designed for the blue control mirror specifically. Until/unless permission-heavy control decks become a thing, it'll just sit in binders, but as soon as they emerge, he'll be there waiting to take up 1-2 sideboard slots.

Yeah, in fact that's actually why they gave it Prowess (which is obviously a super weird ability to see on a 6/7) - Pearl Lake Ancient is supposed to be a trump card for the blue control mirror, and it's obviously a bad idea if your mirror trump bounces off itself in combat.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Gyshall posted:

Man, just watched the modern Jeskai Ascendancy deck on CFB. That poo poo is hilarious.

I watched one video of the set and realized every single one of them was going to be exactly the same

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

I'll tell you what, though, getting rid of Sheldon Menery and bringing back Randy Buehler has been great.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

I Love You! posted:

Having 11 lands by turn 11 of a game in draft is generally not a good sign. Having 11 lands by turn 11 of the next game is probably also not good. I think I need to change up my strategies because this one just isn't working out. Any suggestions that don't involve tearing off my own hands? I don't think I need them anymore.

This is a common strategic blunder. You should try drawing spells instead of lands.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

BizarroAzrael posted:

What did Bertoncini do this time?

Two notable stories that I've seen:

Martin Juza ‏@Juzam_
@dieplstks when he played against jaklovsky he tried a lot of things that ended in 2 warnings (sorcery as instant, unmorph 2wru with no w/r)

eric froehlich
‏@efropoker
@dieplstks @HAUMPH cast ascendancy with one in play, he snap negates, cheon says triggers, he tries to say he missed it cus negate.

That second one actually got LSV mad

Luis Scott-Vargas @lsv
@bmkibler @Juzam_ @dieplstks I got mad and berated him about trying to cheat @HAUMPH, which is pretty uncharacteristic of me.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

rabidsquid posted:

I actually don't think either spell will be banned, I was just poking fun at how when new blue spells see success in multiple formats people immediately start talking of bannings but don't notice say, Deathrite Shaman.

Yeah, it's astounding that DRS hasn't been banned in Modern yet. A Birds of Paradise you can cast off a Blood Crypt? A mana elf that a Rock deck is perfectly happy to topdeck late? Who made this game

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

rabidsquid posted:

At this point I am pretty sure LSV could punch Rich Hagon right in the mouth live on camera and be given the benefit of the doubt and let off with a warning.

Any Magic player who laid Rich Hagon out would immediately become my favorite Magic player.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Sickening posted:

So I guess this pretty much confirms that we may never seen Alex on camera ever again? Seems weird that coverage has totally blacked out on him.

I mean, they only show winning players on camera, mostly, and Bertoncini ended Day 1 at like 2-6. He still shows up on camera at SCG when he's doing well (though it does seem like he's one of the last people they'll bring into the feature match area).

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

JerryLee posted:

I don't remember the Maro Mike Long comment but did his opinion basically at all take into account the fact that the Long era was basically the wild west of Magic compared to today? Chris Benafel, PTR, probably lots of other bad boys I don't remember were also playing around that time. It was a different era as far as quality of cheating enforcement and expectations of sportsmanship at the Pro Tour level. There's plenty of room for rivalry stories like between top teams, but I don't think we have to go back to people being toxic on the tournament floor.

I don't think he grades Long on a curve because of the era he played in so much as he thinks the Hall of Fame should embrace the villains of Magic history rather than just the exemplars.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Cernunnos posted:

So what MaRo is suggesting is we should have 2 Halls. One a Hall of Fame and the other a Hall of Infamy.

No he's just saying that 'fame' doesn't have a moral component (which is true) and that therefore neither should the HoF (which is contentious and generally disputed)

http://markrosewater.tumblr.com/post/79519836619/why-do-you-stand-by-mike-long-as-a-contender-for-the

quote:

I believe the Hall of Fame is supposed to be a living tribute to the history of the Pro Tour of which Long was a major part. I do not believe it is supposed to be moral yardstick to measure others against. And no, I do not believe Long will ever make the Hall.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

A big flaming stink posted:

meanwhile at the pro tour, Sigrist has drafted a complete and utter pile

"Complete and utter pile" is a legitimate archetype in KTK limited!

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

JerryLee posted:

Ahh, okay, so he was talking more about the Hall of Fame rather than who should be actively playing in competitive Magic right now? That makes sense. But then I still don't know that it has any direct application to the Bertoncini case.

I don't think it does, honestly, except maybe insofar as them playing up Mike Long in the past informs how sheepish they are about giving Bertoncini coverage now.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

Yeah, I'm not willing to ascribe a lack of Bertoncini on camera to unwillingness on Wizards' part to "reward the cheater." If they were confident enough that he would cheat that they made it a matter of policy not to show him then they simply would ban him from the tournament.

I don't think it's a punitive measure so much as people get loudly mad whenever he gets face time and it's rarely the case that there's not someone else equivalently worth featuring.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

Mr. Peepers posted:

Can someone tell me why I should hate Rich Hagon? Because All I've seen of him is from PT coverage and he just seems like a pretty animated guy enthusiastic for the game/event.

He's a LOT better at the newsdesk than he is in the commentary booth.

Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

kingcobweb posted:

I need to start streaming something just so I can kick the poo poo out of everyone else's music selection.

Failing that you can stream in spirit by including more music analogies in future Magic writing.

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Attorney at Funk
Jun 3, 2008

...the person who says honestly that he despairs is closer to being cured than all those who are not regarded as despairing by themselves or others.

kingcobweb posted:

15 yard penalty, you have to play your match three tables away from your opponent.

Finally, something that'll give combo a fighting chance.

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